Archive of Our Own

1

The first time it happened, Andrew didn't recognize the feeling. He thought it was a new shitty part of withdrawal. (He wasn't wrong, but he wasn't right either.) The nausea and fatigue and aching joints were normal, so were the shakes. All of which were worse after a hard game like the one they just played. Would it kill the defense to do their jobs and stop the ball before Andrew had to make an effort? He forgave Renee. She was better used in goal, giving Andrew a break. But she was covering for them until Kevin and Neil could stop being pathetic. Unlike them, Andrew didn't complain about playing full games and tie their team into knots to cover for him.. (The clarity in his head was worth the shaking and vomiting. At least for a while.) Fuck, he couldn't keep a thought in his head. Withdrawal hit him hard this time. With a bonus flare of warmth and twist in his gut that he didn't recognize until the game after.

That game was an away game and Andrew nursed his bottle of whisky in an office, no fucking idea whose. The alcohol took the edge off the nausea and shaking but it only seemed to make him warmer.

Neil opened the door and paused. He was probably looking for a place to change. Andrew's eyes lingered on long legs and sweaty hair and damp skin as he wrapped his lips around the bottle. Andrew caught those lying brown eyes and smiled around the bottle, let his tongue sweep the edge as he pulled it away. The alcohol lit a fire in him and the mystery of Neil drew him in. He was dangerous. Andrew thought women who wanted dangerous men were fools, he'd seen dangerous men, been pawed at by them, they were never the bad boys with motorcycle jackets. He'd loudly derided Allison and Dan when they talked about those movies and books and here he was, wanting to strip Neil down despite the danger. Wanting to keep him close, close, closer still, despite not knowing what he brought with him or who he really was.

His mouth parted, to ask Neil to change in the room, to offer to strip him down. The fire in his gut flared at the thought.

Just like that, he recognized this feeling and the floor dropped away and the walls closed in. He couldn't be. Fuck. He couldn't. The one and only perk of the pills was that he was never at the mercy of his heat. Never vulnerable and unwilling to say no.

"-drew, Andrew!" Neil was calling his name. Andrew's body ached to go to him. To push him down and strip him and ride him. To jerk off and cover him in spend and mark him- 

"Get out." His voice was a gutteral rasp. 

"Are you okay?" Neil asked and Andrew couldn't stand the sound of his voice, how he couldn't help but imagine it screaming his name in pleasure. 

"Get out!" He screamed and threw the bottle at him.

Neil did.

Andrew scrabbled for the bottle of pills and swallowed two dry. Sobriety wasn't worth this. Nothing was worth this.

2

Andrew wedged himself further into the corner between his immovable bed and the bare wall of his room. There was nothing to bar the door, nothing to prevent one of the leering psychologists or therapists that riddled this place from opening the door when he was vulnerable. Andrew couldn't believe Bee put him here. That betrayal stung like a wasp's bite. He’d asked for it, needed it to get sober - to be allowed to get sober, to not act on every terrible impulse as he shook and screamed with the pain and ache and need of withdrawal. No one would resist him - not when he got like that. No one could do for him what he did for Aaron. (Except that wasn’t true. Kevin would whine and quaver but probably wouldn’t fall. And even if he did, Andrew remembered scar tissue under his hands and steady eyes. He got the feeling that Neil wouldn’t even flinch.) 

Scar tissue that was on soft skin over tight muscle, abs that Andrew wanted to see. Wanted to lick. Wanted-

Fuck. He couldn't concentrate. At least he wasn't thinking of-

He could feel ghostly touches as the heat rose in him, finally allowed to blossom fully now that he was sober. Blossom. Bee.

Focus on that.

He'd talked with Bee about heats. Of course he had. He was an omega. He'd had heats since-

They stopped when he started the medication and it was the one thing he'd miss. No. Don't lie. He'd miss that the pills had messed with his scent, fucking it up and making him unmarked as omega. It was amazing the change it made. People assumed his family turned to him for protection because he was an alpha, not because he would smile as he slit the throat of anyone who pissed him off. Kevin bared his throat like a good little omega and begged for protection. It made Andrew sick even thinking about it.

But if he had to choose one thing to keep from the pills, it would be no more heats.

No getting away from this one. His body wanted a heat. Had been wanting it for months. Pushing for it whenever he got close enough to sober.

Bee talked about relearning his body and taking ownership of his own pleasure and other positive, healing ideas that Andrew sneered at in the room but contemplated when he couldn't sleep.

But not here.

Not shivering and unsafe and getting slicker with every passing minute.

A brisk knock made Andrew jolt and ball his hands into fists. 

"Where- oh!" A nurse. An omega who never smelled interested. Not in Andrew or any other patient or doctor in the place. Maybe she was like Neil - uninterested in anything but Exy. Only without the fucked up suppressents. He wondered how she handled her heats. (He wondered how Ne-). Her lips pursed and Andrew's brain presented the thought of those lips around his cock, lower, eating him out- he forced the thought away. Neither of them wanted that.

"Come with me," she said and turned to the door. Andrew didn't move.

She glanced back and when he didn’t leave the room with her. Her voice was professional when she said, “we have heat rooms for this exact reason. You aren’t the  first and won’t be the last patient to have an unexpected heat when coming off medication.”

Andrew stared at her. She couldn’t expect him to go to one of their “heat rooms”. He’d seen them, checked them out as he checked in. They had cameras and mirrored windows for “monitoring patients” and the doors locked but the staff had a key “for safety reasons”.

He shivered and his mind wandered, trying to be anywhere but in his body. He tried the inane method of listing numbers but the primes turned into Exy stats and Andrew would almost rather acknowledge his heat than be caught listing the goal stats for the starting strikers of each US college Exy team.

The nurse didn’t sigh in disappointment or storm away or any of the expected reactions. It made Andrew give her some attention when she started talking again. “My office locks from the inside and only my keycard can get in. Will you trust me with your safety, Andrew?” Andrew tilted his head slightly, he was listening but he knew she wasn’t done. “I’ll need to come in regularly to check your vitals and make sure you’re eating and hydrating but I will warn you each time and I will be the only one who enters.”

Andrew considered  the offer; he’d tried to get into some of the offices before and it was very difficult. He’d seen what happened when someone forgot their keycard. It was the best he was going to get. Better than this room and far better than the “heat rooms”.

Andrew unfurled himself and a dizzying wave of heat hit him all at once. He was too hard to walk. Too slick. Too full of a pounding need.

A lock clicked and he blinked at the low light of the tiny box that was the nurse's office. No window. No mirrors. No cameras. No bed. There was a soft couch along one side, the pillows all sewed down. He looked away. It wasn’t a bed, but couches weren’t safe. His third heat he’d-

All the corners of the desk and cabinets were padded. The flooring had a slight give, seemed like the padded rooms were standard. Everything was locked away, no little knicknacks buzz around and help the healing like with Bee. But Andrew didn’t care right now; the door was the kind that locked from the inside. And the only one with a key was the nurse that reminded him of-

Andrew checked the door again. And again.

It was locked.

Relief crashed over him and the dam broke. He could feel his thin sweats soaking through with slick. He reached into his pants, not bothering to take them off and gripped himself. Not even two full strokes and he was coming. Shooting into the fabric and crumbling to his knees.

The relief was fleeting. Normally, Andrew got a minute or two of a clear mind before the heat started ramping up again. At least that long, sometimes he got whole hours where he could think and eat and- the point was, he got no break now. The orgasm only seemed to stoke the fire inside him.

His body was fucked up. He and Bee had talked about this too, how his heats probably weren't going to be normal for a while after getting clean. Andrew shivered as his nipples brushed the fabric of his shirt, peaked and sensitive. His mouth dropped open as he rubbed the hand not in his pants over one. He tried to stop the sounds he made but it felt so good. Overwhelmingly good. He rubbed harder and could feel his cock leaking again.

He circled his nipple then rubbed at it hard and worked to swallow back his moans. He wasn't even stroking his cock, just holding it. He arched as he came again, slouching on the floor and against the wall. But his eyes never left the door. They wanted to fall shut but he didn't let them.

He didn't know how much time passed as he got off, his cock slightly raw and his nipples chafed and red and swollen from rubbing and pinching. The nurse had knocked and asked and entered at least once, ignoring his cock and only touching him with the little machines she used to take his “vitals” whatever the fuck that meant. Andrew didn’t care. It meant he had to stop touching himself which was as much torture as it was a relief.

He got his hand back on his cock when she left. It wasn't enough.

He knew what his body wanted. What he needed to do to break his heat. He didn't want to. He really fucking didn't want to.

It wasn't that he hated his body. Andrew was pretty neutral when it came to his body; it let him eat ice cream and protect his family and play exy (he'd never admit out loud that playing exy was a good thing). He didn't even hate being an omega; having a cock that got stuck in his partner sounded horrifying and being able to swipe his hand a bit further back and get his own slick to lubricate his cock saved a lot of time when hooking up. It wasn't his body that Andrew hated, it was what had been done to it.

Which he wasn't thinking about right now. Those were thoughts for Bee.

The point was, his body wanted a cock and Andrew never wanted anything inside him ever again. It wasn't like he'd die if he didn't get fucked; his heat would take longer to break but eventually his body would wear itself out and realize no fucking would occur. That said, the thing Andrew wanted even less than fingers inside him right now was to be vulnerable in this place for longer than he needed to be.

His fingers slid down and slipped through his folds. He was drenched.

He raised his other hand to his mouth to stifle the choked noise he made at the feeling of his fingers sliding past hot, wet folds. He was so sensitive. It felt so, so good. Like getting everything he ever wanted. He hated it.

He wanted this over with.

He bit down on his hand as he shoved two fingers inside himself, muffling his scream. Terror, joy, pleasure, horror, he wasn't sure what he was feeling. It was overwhelming. He was coming just from that.

He panted against his hand and kept going, fingering himself without mercy. His eyes wanted to roll but he kept looking at the door.

He needed this over as fast as possible. He didn't want anyone seeing him like this, didn't want anyone to have access to him like this. He didn't want anyone's hands on him, or in him. A vision of Neil's hands, long and slender, the knowledge of the scars under his shirt that Andrew only felt, had never seen, the smell of him after a game, somehow mouthwatering despite smelling like flat nothing the way only scent suppressors made a person smell. Andrew tried to banish the image but the damage was done, his body was arching and he was coming on his fingers that felt too blunt and short.

He tasted blood as he came down but knew it wasn't over. Not completely.

It had worked though, somehow imagining his shitty mysterious teammate had tricked his body into getting what it needed.

Andrew frowned and licked at the blood on his hand, if that's what it took to get through this, fine. He'd imagine Neil and his pretty plain omega dick. (Neil's school profile listed him as a beta but betas didn't normally need suppressants.) Andrew imagined pinning Neil's hands to the floor and riding him while they both leaked slick everywhere.

He moaned against his hand and felt another orgasm rising. It was working.

He stared at the door and imagined Neil and fingered himself and tried to muffle his screams.

3

Andrew was deeply unimpressed with his body. Omegas on a regular cycle got their heat four to five times a year. It lasted for about a week of varying levels of horniness though obviously every omega was different. Andrew's last heat was in November. At Easthaven. It was January and he was at the point of locking himself in the dorm bedroom and on the verge of texting Renee about vibrators.

Bee told him it would take time for his body to find a new equilibrium and after two days of waking up slick and hard and stinking up their dorm, Aaron left two panflets and a printed out academic paper on the effects of suppressants and withdrawl on omega systems on Andrew's desk before fucking off to the cheerleader's dorm. Like Andrew didn't know exactly where he was.

Nicky’d fled to the seniors' dorm. They'd gotten buddy buddy while Andrew was gone. Andrew scowled as he threw himself onto his bed. Kevin, of course, hadn't noticed anything until Andrew couldn't concentrate through a single Exy drill. Then he threw a fit because Kevin himself would obviously never let something as trivial as a heat interfere with Exy so why would Andrew? Ugh. Andrew didn't give enough of a fuck to play through a heat. Exy might distract him from the heat. Except that he didn't give a shit and wanted to be somewhere safe, not out in a glass box in the open.

He could already feel himself relaxing, two locked doors between himself and anyone who wanted to- interfere with him while he wasn't himself. The diffuse scents of the others, Nicky's flamboyant and generally joyful beta, Kevin's obsessive omega that somehow smelled like Exy despite Exy not having a smell (except too much sweat), and Aaron's asshole alpha scent that was the only alpha scent that didn't make Andrew want to claw his skin off. (There was anoth-)

With relaxation came a rush of heat, his muscles relaxing and tightening in waves, full of restless want.

He got a hand on himself without bothering to take off any clothes, his underwear were already ruined so why bother. He let himself groan at the feel of his hand on his dick. This part was fucking great; the sensitivity of his dick during heat. What would it be like to fuck into someone like this. His hand tightened and let out a punched out moan. He normally too hard couldn't think about fucking anyone or his stomach started to twist but when he was hazy with the start of heat it was perfect.

He came to the thought of fucking into a plush ass dotted with sparse freckles. Maybe licking up the aftermath as the alpha writhes underneath him.

Wait.

Fuck.

Not alpha. Definitely a random beta. Maybe blond. Not a brunette or redhead who wore bruises and let himself be marked so Andrew could be safe. A random blond beta.

He wasn't having a repeat of his last heat. He refused.

His phone buzzed and Andrew's heat-addled brain wondered if he could get whoever it was to text again as he held the phone to his cock, let it buzz against him. He glanced at the message, hand idly stroking his cock. And froze.

It was Nicky. Sending a care package, don't kill him when he unlocks the door.

No. Fuck no. He didn't.

But he could hear the door to the dorm room open. No footsteps. The only people on the team that could walk without stomping were Renee and-

"Hey Andrew, I've got a, uh, care package?" Neil sounded like he'd never heard of the concept. He probably hadn't. Andrew didn't know if he was envious or if that was sad. Then the scent hit and Andrew couldn't get his hand over his mouth fast enough to muffle the groan he made. His hand tightened on his cock and he fought down his orgasm. He'd regret that. But he had self respect and he wasn't coming the moment he heard Neil's voice.

"I have no idea what's in it, except that Nicky made me add a tshirt? It wasn't my idea, everyone put something in." Neil kept rambling. "I'll leave it by the bedroom door and relock the dorm on my way out." His voice was close and that fucking scent.

Andrew whined in the back of his throat, hand moving over his cock without his permission. He'd gotten through his last heat by imagining fucking and riding Neil. Neil who was on suppressants and who Andrew'd bet money on being an omega. Omegas weren't safe, no one was safe, especially no men. But omegas felt like less of a threat and Neil as an omega? That was no threat at all. Not to Andrew and his family. An omega couldn't trigger another omega's heat, couldn't tie them together, couldn't get another omega so drunk on pheromones that Andrew wouldn't be satisfied by anything except Neil's cock. (Andrew knew that last one wasn't an actual phenomenon but it felt like it was true in this moment.) But Neil fucking Josten had walked into Easthaven to pick Andrew up, bruised and marked and no longer hiding. Not his eyes or his hair or his godawful delicious scent. Not hiding his own shaking from suppressant withdrawal. Not hiding the fact that he was an alpha with the most enticing scent Andrew'd ever smelled. Andrew tried to choke back a moan as he came into his hand, the pleasure washing over him as his ears took in Neil's voice through the door, "shit, Andrew! Are you okay?"

"Don't," Andrew managed to get out before Neil opened the door. The pleasure was still rushing through him. "I'm fine."

"Isn't that my line?" Neil still sounded worried and he wasn't leaving and if Renee hadn't put a vibe in that package, Andrew was knifing her at the first opportunity.

"Have you never heard an omega in heat before?" Andrew asked scathingly. It came out breathy and overwhelmed. He tried to scowl at the door but when he shifted, his hand brushed his cock again and his mouth went slack.

"No," Neil answered, "my mom never got them and we didn't stay anywhere long enough. Except Millport I guess. But I think the school had something figured out for surprise heats. They never told me and no one needed them."

Andrew scoffed, Neil wouldn't realize an omega was in heat if the omega presented themselves to him and got slick all over his pants. If it was a Fox, he'd probably just ask if they needed medical care and if it wasn't a Fox, Andrew was pretty sure Neil would just ignore them completely. Maybe he wouldn't even acknowledge they'd spoken. Andrew smirked at the mental image of a panting omega Vixen begging Neil to help her and Neil's eyes not even registering her existence. Of course he never saw the shit show that was heats in highschool.

He bit his lips as the fantasy kept rolling in his head, Neil ignoring the Vixen and looking past her to Andrew - slick running down his thighs and flush high on his cheeks but otherwise unaffected and knowing. Offering to help.

Fuck.

He tore his hand away from his cock and bit out, "now you know."

Neil was silent for a moment before, "oh. Oh. You're jerking off!" He sounded incredibly awkward at this revelation. "I'll just go then."

Andrew could hear him get up and panic flooded his body. He couldn't leave. What if someone came in? Neil had gotten in after all. Neil had proven he'd do stupid, self-sacrificing shit to protect Andr- people. His disguise was gone because he'd gone to Evermore for- 

"Stay," tumbled out of Andrew's mouth in a croak without conscious thought.

Why did he ask that? Just because Neil was a self-sacrificing idiot that got himself marked to protect-

It was because, alpha or not, Neil didn't swing. Of course he was safe as a guard dog. He'd have no reaction to what Andrew did or any noises Andrew made.

"Andrew-" Neil sounded hesitant. 

"Don't," Andrew bit out, "stay there while I get the bag. Make yourself useful and get me some water."

He waited until Neil started running water in the kitchenette before he unlocked and opened the bedroom door. When had he even gotten over here? Fuck. Had he really scrambled off the bed when Neil got up to leave? Was he that desperate? He should tell Neil to get out, scream at him and make him leave. His gut lurched at the thought. If Neil left, the only thing between Andrew and danger was two locked doors and when had that ever saved him? Never that's when.

He grabbed the bag Nicky put together and got another whiff of Neil. He felt a gush of slick and swallowed back the urge to fling open the door and press himself to Neil's back and pin him to the kitchen counter, to rub all over him until their scents mingled and Neil was covered in slick. But Neil didn't swing. He wouldn't want that.

He shut the door firmly and locked it. No more thoughts of leaving. 

"Your water?" Neil asked, sounding confused again. 

"Drink it yourself, lock the door and make sure none of those busybodies try to come in." Andrew said, retreating to his bed with the "care package".

There was a low "oh. Okay." From the other room that Andrew ignored in favor of dumping the bag out. Power bars, chocolate bars, some water bottles and a horrendous power drink that was obviously Kevin's contribution.

The outside door lock clicked and soft footsteps padded to the kitchenette and Andrew's entire body sagged. There was a sealed bag with random clothes in it, probably from the seniors. Nicky was such a meddler. Andrew didn't want to be part of their happy little family, he didn't need their scents in his safe space. Neil's t-shirt was in its own bag which. Fuck Nicky and his fucking meddling. Andrew forced himself to ignore that bag too.

He opened the box rather than think about it. 

If someone had asked Andrew before he opened the box, what he thought Allison would put in a box of sex toys for a male omega and he'd actually thought about it for half a second, this box would have been it. Everything was the highest quality. Not designer, but the shit that lasts. There were the practical things, the staples of any sex toy box, various vibrators and a dildo with an inflatable knot. And then there were a few outrageous items, like a dildo the size of his forearm with ridges and bumps and a flared head that had a matching fleshlight, both were hideous and had to have been special ordered off of a niche monsterfucker website. To top it off, every single sex toy was bright Fox orange.

Andrew heard a body sit on the couch and the tv flick on low. He stripped, more relaxed than he'd ever been in a heat. Bee told him that he'd need to relearn his body, relearn how to feel good and satisfy himself, especially in heat after so long on the pills and so long avoiding his trauma. As he skimmed his fingers up his sternum and shivered at the feeling of skin in skin, he decided now was the time.

He fished out a small bullet vibe to start and began relearning his body.

He reveled in the feel of the sheets against his skin, his sheets in his bed. He should put down a towel or two so he didn't ruin the mattress but fuck that, he was doing therapy right now so no one better complain. His own touch felt new with the sensitivity of heat and the relaxation of safety that Ne- this situation allowed. He could feel goosebumps follow his fingers as he trailed them over his body. Over his chest and swirling around his nipples. He didn't bother to swallow his moans as he brushed his nipples. He pressed the cool smooth surface of the vibe against them and his breath caught. It wasn't even on and it felt good. He wondered if just this would be enough to get him off. Maybe later.

For now his hands moved on, the warm texture of his fingers and the cool smoothness of the vibe trailed down his chest, over his abs, down his pelvis. He ignored his cock. It would be easy, so easy, to stroke himself, press the vibe just under the head of his cock and come that way. But he knew his cock, was comfortable with it, that wouldn't push him. And probably it wouldn't satisfy his heat either. If he wasn't safe he'd go for it, but now?

The tv music swelled for a moment in the other room, reminding Andrew of who was out there and he couldn't stop his moan. His hand slipped past his cock and slid over folds that were drenched in slick. He was dripping with it. Primed from his previous orgasms. His fingers parted the folds and he-

He didn't-

He hated it. Obviously. He hated touching himself there and didn't imagine long calloused fingers, bruised from Exy, exploring his body, icy blue eyes wide with awe at how slick Andrew was, curious about what would make him gush. He didn't slide his fingers along himself like he was scratching an itch and writhe on the bed because it was exactly what he wanted and accidentally dip a fingertip inside himself and shout a curse at the ceiling.

He slid the bullet vibe back up to his nipple to distract himself and turned it on. He gasped and his finger slipped in deeper, not as deep as long agile fingers would get but fucking amazing and then he had two inside himself and was riding them. He tore the vibe away from his chest and shoved it inside himself too and heard someone whine. He pinched his nipples and fingerfucked himself and made a mess of the sheets and came imagining Neil's fingers buried inside of him, working him over.

After he came down from the pleasure he stared at the ceiling. Ugh. He could feel slick dripping past his ass and onto the sheets. His fingers were probably getting pruny but he didn't want to move and pull them out. And how fucking dare Neil sneak his way into Andrew's fantasies. Just because he was out in the main room, tv still on low, probably having heard everything, Andrew groaned, the vibe still buzzing away inside him.

He needed something bigger.

He groped around in the box and pulled out the first thing that felt like a dick. Of course it was the one with an inflatable knot. He flung it across the room hard and maybe shattered something. He was never using that fucking thing. He tried again and ended up with a pretty average looking dildo with a switch on the end. It was bright orange but Andrew didn't care, he wouldn't see it when it was where he wanted it.

He pulled out the bullet vibe and his fingers and there was that whine again and just got the dildo positioned at his entrance, gritting his teeth to actually shove something inside himself when there was a knock on the bedroom door.

"You okay? I heard something break?" Neil asked and Andrew’s hand slipped. It was a slip. He didn't shove the dildo in the moment he heard Neil's voice on purpose. He shouted and grabbed his cock and came again, the second time in five minutes and it was overwhelming and too much and not nearly enough.

"Andrew?" Neil asked again.

Andrew tried to breath but mostly just fucked himself on the dildo. Eventually he managed to choke out, "go back to the tv."

"That's not an answer," Neil said but he was moving away from the door and Andrew bit down on slick fingers, sucking them into his throat, to stop himself from whining again and telling Neil to come back. He shoved the dildo in harder and heard the tv noise start again. This was going to be a long fucking heat.

But he was over shoving things inside him now. Still not his favorite but fuck if it didn't feel good. Wouldn't Bee be happy.

4

Andrew knew he'd been pushing it. He'd felt the buzz of his heat start to rise days ago when he was in the FBI offices with Neil but he'd pushed it down and ignored it. Abby had cornered him after his last heat, the one in January with all the disgusting pining, and talked for a long time about what his body needed to recover and how to gentle himself back into heats and a bunch of other advice Andrew neither wanted nor needed. It boiled down to letting his body do what it wanted and giving it whatever it desired. But omegas worked through their early heats all the time. Andrew'd done it before the pills, it got him extra tips when bartending and extra reasons to punch assholes when bouncing. And the FBI offices and the direct aftermath of them wasn't the time and place for a heat anyway. He'd needed to be there for Neil and he did that. On the bus ride back to Palmetto, he'd been idly planning on holing up in his room at the Columbia house with...he wasn't sure if he could stand having Neil in the room, but leaving him out of sight wasn't a good option either.

Then they rented a cabin in the woods like good little college kids waiting to get slaughtered in a horror movie. He'd love to see a serial killer up against the Foxes, it wouldn't last long. For the killer. He and Neil would be the first to be targeted because Neil was injured and Andrew was in fucking heat. Again.

He'd counted it out on the bus ride back to campus and it was almost time, it was March and his last one was in January. That was sooner than usual but much better than the gap before it. He'd still ignored it the first evening, letting the desire bubble inside him while he shared the bed with Neil. He'd thought maybe he could just ignore it until they were back on campus. But it hit in full just after dinner today and it was all he could do to stagger to his and Neil's room.

Andrew locked the door behind him and sagged against it for a moment, just letting himself feel the arousal well up inside him. This wasn't a good time for it, he still didn't want it. But he wasn't sure he'd ever want to be heat addled and when he forced himself to think logically he was sure some people did everything they could to schedule their heats for spring break. No exams, no classes, no games. And this time, Neil was safe. Everyone was as safe as they could get. It was probably as good a time as any, given "never" wasn't an option. He shoved a hand into his pants and gripped his cock, just holding it for the moment. He had a flash of Neil holding it for him, stroking him, getting him off; he grit his teeth and came. As ever, Neil helped. He would, probably. With his "always yes for you". Andrew swallowed. He'd probably say yes. But.

But.

Andrew knew how he got during heat, aching to be fucked, wild with it. He would take without asking and Neil's "always yes" was only good until he said no and Andrew wasn't sure he'd stop.

He also wasn't sure he could handle another person's hands on him. Even Neil's. Oh, he'd want it in the moment. In the depths of his heat he'd push Neil down and sink onto him and ride him. But he hadn't even let Neil touch his cock yet. Barely let him see him touch himself. He wouldn't want Neil inside him if he wasn't in heat.

He let his head thunk against the door. Damn it.

A knock. Neil's knock. A quick couple taps like he wanted to make sure he wasn't a bother and could be gone before an answer came if he sensed danger.

"Andrew?"

Andrew let his hand play over his cock for a few moments, surely Neil knew he was there. Then again, Neil was an idiot sometimes and the silence stretched. Andrew gave his cock a squeeze and grunted so Neil would know he was listening.

"Should I find a couch to sleep on? The door is locked and Nicky was making scandalized noises about-" Andrew tuned him out and pulled his hand from his pants. Neil's voice cut off and Andrew felt a deep satisfaction. Neil could smell him now, smell his desire and arousal and slick. When he started talking again, Andrew sank his hand back into his pants and sunk two fingers into himself to the tune of Neil's voice. It wasn't terrible. He didn't bite back the moan, he wanted Neil to hear it.

Only then Andrew could tell Neil was shifting away from the door and instantly tuned back in. "-go find some sheets. I'll leave some water and food outside the door. And maybe towels. But I'll get out of your hair."

"Stay." Andrew bit out the word, angry that Neil would even think about leaving. "This is your fault. Take responsibility."

"I don't know a lot about omega cycles but I'm pretty sure that's not how it works," Neil said dryly. But there was some rustling and a thump and a grunt of not-quite-pain on the other side of the door. Fuck. That was another good reason for Andrew to not let Neil in, he was injured. He'd be way less help and probably hurt himself more trying to get Andrew off.

Andrew curled his fingers inside himself as Neil talked, rocking his hand inside his pants, getting everything drenched in slick. He shuddered through another orgasm that was only a warm up and heard, "do you need a kit like last time? I can get food and water and some clothes, but I think we're too far from civilization to find sex toys."

He removed his drenched hand from his pants. He wasn't an idiot, he'd known it was possible that he wouldn't be able to hold out; the toy box Allison bought was buried in his bag somewhere. He'd stashed water and easy to eat food over the course of the day today. And he didn't need the team's scents around him. No matter that he'd ended his last heat curled in his bed with the clothes strewn around him. (This room was mostly a blank slate but Neil's stuff was littered around.)

"Andrew?" Neil asked. Ugh. Words. 

"I'm not an idiot, I knew this was coming," he said, letting the disdain drip from his voice. He rolled to his knees. Ugh. He felt squishy between his legs. But unearthing that box was worth moving. And if he was going to have to talk, he'd need water.

He heard Neil fidgeting on the other side of the door. "Get yourself a cushion. If you hurt yourself sitting on the floor, I'll never let you live it down."

Neil laughed and as ever when Andrew asked, he did as requested. No wonder everyone thought he was an omega when he was on suppressants. (That was a lie. False societal expectations made people expect omegas to be more passive and subservient. Neil seemed to fit that, with his running away and habit of going with the flow, but it was a front. Everyone ignored how he tore into Riko and his aggressiveness on the court. When they saw the real Neil, it was obvious he was an alpha.)

It felt early to actually dig into the toys, but he wanted this over with. He stripped, shirt coming off easily but his underwear clinging, coming away damp and connected to his crotch by thin strings of slick. Heat was so messy. He heard Neil settle down on the other side of the door.

He wanted him in the room, touching him and fucking him and riding this heat together. Andrew swallowed and clutched the pink toy box. He didn't actually want that. It was the heat talking, he was fucked up on it now.

"Andrew?" Neil asked. He was content to hang out in silence for hours on the roof, but here he kept checking in. Andrew swallowed again and stood there, naked, in the middle of a rented bedroom suffused in an intoxicating fusion of his and Neil's scents. His free hand brushed over his nipple at the sound of Neil's voice and it was almost, almost like Neil was touching him.

He sank to the ground and leaned on the door, imagining Neil mirroring him on the other side.

"You're going to talk through this entire thing," he said derisively. He couldn't ask. It would come out too close to begging right now and that- no.

There was a pause as Neil worked through it but like always, Neil worked out what Andrew meant. Or he just wanted to cause trouble, sometimes Andrew couldn't tell which. "I sure am. But the only porn I've seen is that bit of exy porn the seniors showed Kevin to horrify him and that time I accidentally walked in on Nicky skyping with Erik so I'm going to be bad at it."

Andrew let the words wash over him and pulled at a nipple as he sank two fingers back inside himself. He moaned. The words cut off and their meaning finally sank in. "Nicky's an idiot and porn is for losers." Andrew included himself and his carefully curated collection of tied up redheads who didn't beg. Why would he use those videos and their shit dialogue when he had the real thing at his fingertips.

"What projects are you ignoring to be useless at my door?" Andrew could hear the rasp in his voice. Neil barked a laugh and asked, "since when do you care about school?" But he still started talking.

Andrew let Neil's voice wash over him and started to really start the work of getting himself through his heat. One hand rolled a nipple while the other fucked him with two fingers, wrist angled to rub along his cock. He could feel himself dripping. He should've put down a towel, he was going to be sitting in a puddle soon. He wrenched another orgasm out of himself, surrounded by Neil's voice and their mingled scents.

When he blinked back to himself, fingers still inside and twitching, Neil was quiet.

Andrew waited. He fought the urge to rage at being abandoned. Only-

"Andrew," Neil said, and his voice was ragged. Not the kind that came with speaking too much, the kind that came from being wrecked. He'd heard Neil say his voice like that in the shower and it was a gut punch of arousal here too. He couldn't stop himself from grabbing his cock and fucking himself, oversensitive but desperate all over again. He groaned and Neil let out a sharp noise in response.

"Talk," he demanded. 

Neil sounded overwhelmed as he said, "your noises-" before breaking off again. Andrew hadn't realized he'd been making noise. A cold wave washed over him, breaking his heat for a moment and he froze. Only then Neil made a small desperate noise and heat and arousal overwhelmed Andrew again, it didn't matter that he was making noise, was good actually, he was teasing Neil with it. 

"Are you touching yourself?"

"No!" Neil sounded shocked, "I'm in the hallway, anyone could walk by."

"They'd be lucky." The image of Neil on the hallway floor, hand in his pants and jerking off to Andrew's noises where anyone could walk by, so desperate he couldn't help himself, was incredibly hot.

"That's a show only for you," Neil said and Andrew could tell this was a boundary. He focused on that and not the underlying syrupy sweetness that tugged at his guts at the thought that Neil was comfortable with him, shared his pleasure only with him.

"Keep talking." Andrew curls his fingers inside himself to distract from the thought that Neil probably would jerk off in a hallway for him if Andrew pushed, but that he knew Andrew never would so he felt safe. 

"What do you want me to say?" Neil asked helplessly. 

Recklessly, Andrew gripped his cock and asked, "what would you do if you were in here?"

"What am I allowed?" 

Fuck. Andrew hated him so much. He was so respectful of Andrew's boundaries; never taking, never even considering it. It made Andrew's heart twist in ways he didn't want it to.

"I'm in heat, I don't care as long as you fuck me," Andrew said flippantly. He wanted Neil to talk again, the heat was rising and he didn't really care what Neil said.

But Neil was contrary as he always was and made a hurt noise and said, "I won't let you make me like them. Tell me what's okay."

"Fuck you," Andrew bit out.

"Sure, if that's what you want," Neil said and Andrew felt like he'd been punched, the mental image of Neil on his back, legs in the air, Andrew sliding into his tight heat. Neil let out a breathy laugh at Andrew's groan. "That's a yes?"

Andrew waited for the follow up, but Neil stayed silent. Oh fuck him and his need to hear Andrew's consent. (It was the only thing that made him tolerable.) "Yes." Andrew bit out grudgingly. He fisted his cock as he waited, starting to pant.

Neil hummed. Andrew growled and Neil only laughed in reply then said, "I hear I'd need to be lubed up right?"

Where the fuck did Neil learn about assplay? Neil laughed again and read Andrew better than anyone ever did, even through a wall. "Matt and Nicky got talking about it one day, I think it was a combination of trying to offend the football team and that Dan bought a new dildo?"

Before Andrew could make the derisive comment that was sitting on his tongue, Neil continued to talk, "anyway, from the way people talk about omegas, they get wet. Are you wet Andrew?"

Andrew's mouth went dry. He was so fucking wet. He leaked more around his fingers just thinking about how wet he was for Neil. "Fuck you." 

"Thought so. We didn't bring any lube and I'm not going to go ask Matt for any. Especially not if I'm in the room for your heat, I'm not leaving you." Neil said and the sheer arrogance to assume he knew Andrew made Andrew want to punch him. Or kiss him. He pulled at his cock instead as Neil kept talking. "We'd have to use your slick."

Andrew tensed, if Neil assumed he'd get to dip his dick into Andrew to slick it up- but he should have known better, Neil would never be that presumptuous; instead he was devastating. "Could I touch you to gather it? Or would you dip your own fingers into yourself," Neil's voice hitched at his own words, like he was so overcome by the thought that he needed extra air, "and use them to stretch me?"

Andrew scrabbled around himself for the toy box. There was a fuck ugly fleshlight in there, he could prep it. He grunted as he pulled his fingers out of himself then groaned as he slid one drenched finger into the fleshlight.

"Andr-" Neil started, he probably heard the box open and the shifting around. 

Andrew cut him off, "you're tight." 

Neil whimpered but gamely kept going, "yeah, I've never done this before. Not even to myself." 

Lust burned through Andrew. It shouldn't matter, virginity was a shitty social construct but the thought that Neil had never been fucked, never been touched here, that Andrew would be the first (that he could make it good), burned through him like wildfire.

The inside of the fleshlight wasn't warm but it was wet from the lube and tight. Andrew wanted to get his mouth on it, he knew it would ruin the illusion but if he had Neil in front of him he'd get his mouth on his hole and eat him out while he fingered him. He didn't care if the logistics of that didn't work, it was what he wanted. The taste of plastic would ruin it though.

"I can handle more than one," Neil said and Andrew shuddered and added a finger as gently as he could, thrusting them in a desperate attempt to get what he wanted out of the plastic. "I know that my real body might need more than that but imaginary me wants to feel you sink into me."

Andrew swallowed and weighed his need to get off against his need to avoid hurting Neil. But this wasn't actually Neil. He was saying so. In this fantasy Neil came to him pre-stretched. He'd been planning on offering to help and fingered himself thinking about it. Andrew groaned and touched the head of his cock to the mouth of the fleshlight.

"That's it Andrew, I want it, sink into me, let me give you what you need." Neil's voice shook with want on the other side of the door, desire lacing through his scent like when they made out for long hours on the roof. Andrew groaned and pressed the fleshlight down over his cock and squeezed his eyes shut tighter. It felt good. So good.

He fucked it, losing himself in the pleasure, Neil's scent and voice washed over him, immersing him in the fantasy that he was fucking Neil. He came with a grunt, spilling into the fleshlight.

Even as the pleasure washed over him it wasn't enough. He felt empty, cunt grasping at nothing. "More," he gasped.

Neil let out a ragged breath and said, "I want to touch you," like it was being ripped out of him. Andrew wanted that right now. Desperately. He normally didn't. But now, in the fantasy of having Neil with him in the room, he wanted.

"Like you'd know how," he said, running his hand over his chest, shivering at the touch.

"Get the nipple clamps from your toy box," Neil said and Andrew shuddered, reaching before the words even resolved themselves.

Then they did and he blinked. "You know what nipple clamps are? Thought you didn't watch porn, Josten."

Neil made an aggrieved noise. "After I delivered the box for your last heat and sat with you, the upperclassmen decided I needed to know what was in the care package and what everything was used for. I didn't ask but they refused to let me leave, they said I might need to satisfy an omega one day."

"You don't swing." Andrew said, running his fingers over the bright orange nipple clamps. They were soft and gentle, more meant to hold the nipple than cause any kind of pain. 

"I only swing in your direction," Neil said, "but I didn't know that at the time and no one ever believes me when I say I don't swing. Especially now that they know I'm an alpha."

Andrew growled. He wasn't going to leave the room to murder the upperclassmen. Renee would stop him. And they wouldn't have a team which would make Neil sad. Which Andrew didn't care about but it would be annoying and in any case, no one got to see him with slick running down his legs like this. "I've got them."

"Try one out? Imagine it's me, biting your arm." Neil said and Andrew cut off his whine of denial that Neil wasn't going straight for his nipple.

He tried it anyway, because Neil did whatever he wanted and Andrew had no doubt he'd be a tease in bed if Andrew let him. The clamp was soft pressure on his bicep and he shivered. 

"Feel okay?" Neil asked. 

"Get on with it," Andrew growled.

Neil only laughed, breathless, and wove a story about mouthing all over his body, exploring and mapping him out with his mouth, finding where he was sensitive. Andrew felt enchanted, compelled to follow along. Sensitivity ramping ever higher as the soft bites of the clamp on his skin.

After what felt like an eternity of teasing, Neil directed him to put one on his nipple and Andrew shoved his other hand into his mouth to muffle his scream. He pushed his chest out, into the delicious pressure, as his toes curled. He wanted the other one too. 

“Andr-" Neil sounded worried. 

He cut Neil off. "Hate you." The words were a barely formed moan and he hated himself for being so obvious. 

"Lick the other clamp," Neil said and Andrew could hear the smirk in his words. The clamp tasted like plastic which made him grimace. "Now put it on your other nipple." 

Andrew did and fuck. Fuck. It was wet pressure against him and he gasped, shoving his fingers deeper into his mouth to muffle himself.

"Move the fleshlight, jerk off. Like I'm moving on you while I suck on your chest." Neil said and Andrew choked on his fingers as he screamed and came again into the fleshlight.

He lay there for a while, breathing, every breath sending shivers through him as his chest moved and the clamps bobbed.

"How is it?" Neil asked eventually. 

"I hate you so much," Andrew said through his panting, "you can't even figure out how to satisfy me." 

Neil continued to be infuriating and asked, "what do you need?"

What Andrew needed was for his biology to give him a break and stop sending him into heats. But short of that, "your dick."

He was disappointed when the only response was a swift breath in, not the scandalized squawk he'd been hoping for. 

"We don't have to," Neil said, voice raw. 

"Don't make me repeat myself." It was bad enough admitting it once, he didn't want to say it again.

"Get your favourite toy," Neil said. 

"Maybe I hate them all," Andrew said, already digging through the toybox. 

"I know you tried at least two last time, they sounded different." 

Andrew froze as a flash of heat seared through him. Neil had listened last time. His conscious brain knew that Neil hadn't had a choice, he'd been guarding Andrew and got shouted at by their shitty downstairs neighbors at least once for having the tv too loud. His subconscious imagined Neil hard and aching as he listened. A violation except for how Neil didn't swing and hadn't been lustful in real life so he was safe to imagine it. And he was hard and aching and probably leaking a bit at the tip of his dick right now. Because Andrew gave him permission, invited him.

He retrieved the vibe he liked and lay it against his dick, like it was another cock, Neil's cock. He stroked them together a bit. He tried to ignore the feelings welling up inside him. He spat,"you don't want me to choose the one with a knot?"

"Sometime when you're not in heat ask me, I'll see if I can. But no. Never." Neil's voice was steady, no disappointment and Andrew was gutted again.

He shoved the toy inside him as a distraction and this time he was too slow to muffle himself. 

"Andrew?" Neil asked. 

Andrew cut him off, "shut up, hands to yourself." 

"Ride me, Andrew. Take what you need," Neil said and Andrew could imagine it; Neil with his hands above his head, maybe tied above his head (they were uninjured in this fantasy, because if he was letting himself imagine this, he might as well imagine Neil never being tortured), and desperate as Andrew lowered himself onto his cock. 

He pulled the toy out and slid it back in. It was easy with how drenched he was. "Don't martyr yourself," he gasped.

"Never," Neil lied, like the liar he was.

Andrew didn't acknowledge that, not even to get a last word in. He was too busy fucking himself with the toy, too lost in the fantasy of Neil on his back and his cock inside Andrew and his hips rocking as fucked up into him. The toy stretched him; it wasn't large but Andrew hadn't had anything inside him for months. Neil would stretch him too.

Neil was quiet as he fucked himself on the toy, losing his mind slowly and really succumbing to the heat. He normally hated this part, feeling out of control and unable to think of anything but pleasure and how to get it. But this time Neil's scent surrounded him and he was guarding the door and dodging every trap Andrew laid for him. Andrew could let the pleasure take him over without worrying. 

He tensed as he heard voices; someone who wasn't Neil was talking. The clench of his muscles only made the toy seem larger and Andrew tried to bite back his moan. The person didn't come any closer and the thought that Neil was keeping them away kicked Andrew in the gut. He gushed slick and drove the toy in harder to distract himself from the feeling of Neil guarding him. 

"Andrew?" Neil's voice drew him from the haze of pleasure. Andrew growled in response. "Renee wants to borrow your car. She says you'll know why." He didn't want to think about this. 

He didn't want to surface enough to remember what Renee wanted. But he knew he'd told her to ask when she needed it. Something about a Raven maybe? It didn't matter. 

"Yes or no?" Neil asked. And fuck Neil for using that here. For using their deliberate way of communicating consent when Andrew was in the throws of heat and couldn't think beyond it. Fuck him for knowing. 

He bit out "yes" and ignored them. Neil better figure it out, Andrew wasn't interested. He was only interested in rebuilding the pleasure that had banked during his distraction. 

Eventually, the voices faded and Neil was back at the door, gasping something about Andrew continuing to get off while he handled Renee. He sounded overwhelmed. 

Suddenly, it was enough. Andrew let out an overwhelmed moan of his own as he came. His hands too busy fucking himself and playing with the clamps to muffle his sounds.

Neil let out his own overwhelmed whimper in response and said breathlessly, "turn it on." Andrew twisted the handle without thinking, still riding the wave of pleasure, and let out a shout. The increased pleasure was too much and not enough and fuck Neil Josten for daring to be exactly what Andrew needed right when he needed it.

+1

Andrew shuddered as Neil pulled his mouth away, only to kiss down his neck, the heat rising in him. Like always, he'd pushed it too close to the start of his heat hitting; like always he didn't care. They'd had a game tonight and Neil would've pouted if Andrew'd sat out. Neil bit his neck and Andrew groaned, hands tightening on Neil's ass, made even more attractive by years of professional exy, pressing him harder against the door. 

Neil's hand found the lock and paused, ripping himself away from Andrew's neck, "you still want me to..." 

Andrew jerked himself away from Neil and their front door and stalked further into their apartment. He hated that Neil was still so considerate of his consent, that he still never assumed anything was a yes. (His therapist would frown, she wanted him to stop using the word hate for when things made him feel.) Neil stayed by the front door. Which was ridiculous because either way he was going to be in the apartment, Andrew refused to go through a heat without him there to guard him and fetch him food and water. The year they were on separate professional teams, Andrew'd threatened to go on suppressants. (Threatened management, Neil had abandoned his team to fly across half a continent to guard Andrew and jerk off with him outside his bedroom door.)

But this time, this time would be different. They'd been fucking ("engaging in penetrative sex" his therapist would say, ugh) for over a year but Andrew still hadn't bottomed. Neil would never ask, he enjoyed being fucked, but Andrew was tired of denying himself this because of his shitty past. He still couldn't bring himself to want it enough to get over his trauma. Normally. But in heat, he always wanted it. Deeply and desperately. And he trusted Neil to stop if it wasn't okay. Even in the middle of heat.

Which all meant- "stop being deliberately obtuse."

Andrew let the heat rise inside him, comfortable with it after years of safe heats with Neil. Welcoming it with a bit of anticipation he'd never admit to. He was finally going to have flesh inside him for this, not plastic imitating Neil's dick. It was probably going to be disappointing. He pulled off his shirt and wandered toward the bedroom.

He threw the blankets and top sheet to the floor. They'd slept on the heat-sheet last night in case he peaked early which meant there wasn't a need to change it now. He sprawled on the bed, twisted his head to nuzzle Neil's pillow, and shoved his hand into his pants.

He was wet, more than wet, he was drenched. His underwear was soaked through and sticking to his skin. He moaned softly as he pushed his hand through the slick and cupped his cock, dipping fingers back to flirt with his cunt.

"Fuck, Andrew." Neil sounded wrecked and when Andrew opened his eyes he saw him in the doorway, eyes locked to Andrew's hand, hidden in his pants, only the motion visible.

"Staring," Andrew said, pulling his hand out and sinking one finger into his mouth. Neil's only response was to stumble forward and reach out, too focused on dragging Andrew's fingers deep into his own mouth to remember to close the bedroom door.

They both moaned at the feel of Neil's throat swallowing around Andrew's fingers. Neil pulled off slowly, teasing them both with it, before opening his mouth. Andrew knew the look on his face and answered before he could even ask, "yes."

Neil smiled and kissed him and Andrew lost himself in it for a bit. Kissing Neil wasn't new anymore, not as overwhelming and all-consuming as it used to be, but it was never boring and never unworthy of attention. Neil shuddered against him and they lost time in each other's mouths. They had nowhere to be until Andrew's heat broke so they could enjoy every moment.

But eventually the heat reared its ugly head and Andrew needed more. He scraped his hands down Neil's back and grabbed his ass. Neil bucked down onto him, his leg slipping between Andrew's and suddenly- 

"Fuck!" Andrew shouted and pulled Neil against him harder, grinding up against the leg between his own. It pressed perfectly onto his cunt and cock, the seam of his pants digging into him at the best angle. 

Neil went deliberately still, his fantastic thigh rock hard and unmoving as Andrew took his pleasure from it. Neil leaned down and nuzzled at Andrew's neck before biting down, making Andrew's hips jackrabbit up and the increased pressure and small pain of the bite wrenched his first orgasm of the heat out of him.

He rode Neil's thigh through it, Neil staying unmoving through his convulsing.

When he was done, melting slightly into the bed, Neil moved to nuzzle his neck, kissing and licking lightly. "That was intense," Neil said. 

"That was a warm up. Scared?" Andrew challenged him, refusing to move. 

Neil grinned, "Excited." 

Andrew only rolled his eyes.

Neil shifted and Andrew was torn between the desire that swamped him as Neil's rock hard cock brushed his leg and the devastation that followed Neil moving away. It didn't matter, they had the same reaction. He grabbed Neil's shirt and growled, "where are you going?" He finally got to touch him during a heat, like hell Andrew was letting him go.

"I'm going to get supplies. Do you need another one before I get them?" Neil asked. His expression was earnest but Andrew knew his shitstirrer, Neil hadn't conceded, only temporarily delayed.

Andrew scoffed but let his legs splay a little wider and didn't let go of Neil's shirt. Neil grinned at him and toyed with the waistband of Andrew's pants. Andrew rolled his eyes. They were long past the point where they cared about being naked with each other. (Most days. Both of them still had days where showing skin wasn't something they wanted. Andrew hated how fluttery his heart got at Neil asking now, in this new situation.) "Yes," he said, before Neil could open his mouth, "put your fingers and mouth to use."

Neil grinned, all cheek. He didn't say anything like 'yes sir' even as a joke. (A bad joke during sex two years ago had turned into both of them needing a therapy session.) But he got to work, stripping Andrew out of his game day suit pants and his sopping underwear, peeling the boxer briefs down Andrew's legs and making a hungry noise as he saw just how drenched Andrew was.

Andrew responded by pulling off his shirt, flinging it somewhere out of mind, and spreading his legs even wider. He could feel slick already sliding down his crack and to his asshole. The cool feeling made him shiver and his heat flare again. He could feel his cunt clench around nothing and glared at Neil.

Who was entranced by Andrew's junk. Somehow. Still. After years of being together and years of being allowed, invited, to touch and taste. He was still struck stupid every time Andrew spread himself out before him. Andrew could see him swallow and his fingers twitch against the cloth he was still holding.

"Get to it," Andrew said, reaching down to lift his cock out of the way and spread the lips of his cunt, shuddering at the feel of it. "Or are you as useless as that rabbit vibe I tried last heat?"

That got a laugh out of Neil and he tossed Andrew's clothes away and folded down onto the bed, bringing his face right into Andrew's junk. Neil licked a broad stripe up the center of his cunt and kept going over Andrew's fingers and up his cock before saying, "that bar is so low I could be asleep and pass it."

Andrew glared and shoved Neil's head down, muffling his laughter with his cunt. It felt mindblowing. The extra sensitivity of heat amping up what was already one of their favourite activities. Andrew grit his teeth against the moans and shrieks that wanted to burst out of him as Neil got to fucking work.

His eyes rolled back as Neil buried his nose against the base of his dick and put his sly tongue to work licking and fucking Andrew's lips and hole and entire area. He sucked on one of the outer lips and the bolt of pleasure screamed through Andrew, making him buck up and grind himself against Neil's face.

Neil ignored Andrew's cock, which would normally annoy Andrew to no end, but right now was perfect. Neil ate him out and Andrew rode his face until he came, pulling Neil's hair and nearly bloodying his lip in his effort to stay quiet.

It wasn't enough. He tugged Neil's hair and sneered, "are your hands broken?" Neil's face was coated in Andrew's juice, his lips wet and his eyes glittering at Andrew's challenge. Fuck, he was hot.

Two of his fingers rested lightly at Andrew's entrance. They'd done this, not every time Neil went down on him, normally Neil's hands were busy with his cock, or restrained. But it wasn't new and right now, the sensitivity had Andrew growling at the tease and shifting to try to fuck himself on those fingers. Neil waited, the fucking asshole, until Andrew yanked his face back to his junk and growled, "yes."

The pleasure that ripped through him when Neil shoved his fingers in was almost enough to rip another orgasm from him. It wasn't quite enough. But it left him gasping for breath as Neil sucked at the base of his cock and spread his fingers and fucked them into him. The heat made this feel so fucking good. Andrew hadn't ever felt something warm and alive and not himself and wanted inside himself during heat. (There’d been uninvited flesh but those memories weren't invited to this heat so Andrew set them aside.) Neil's fingers gave him exactly what he needed, curling perfectly to hit him where he was most sensitive and fuck him for being so good at this. For paying attention to Andrew's body. For knowing exactly what Andrew wanted and giving it to him. Andrew arched and pulled Neil's hair and squeezed his ears with his thighs and came, gushing, possibly fucking squirting come from his cunt all over Neil.

Neil slowed and Andrew wanted to scream. All he could get out was a garbled, "more" that was half a moan. Andrew wasn't normally a fan of overstimulation, that was Neil’s thing, but right now he wanted it, needed the unending pleasure to finally sate the heat inside him. Neil moaned and his fingers fucked in harder, faster. He leaned back and Andrew wanted to yell at him only Neil dove back in, mouth coming down around Andrew's cock, sucking him in and the yell turned into a scream. Andrew felt the pleasure rising, rising, rising, never quite cresting and he was oversensitive, it was too much and yet he knew he wasn't there yet. He couldn't stop - that would only ruin it. This was the point when he normally ended up breaking things, so frustrated yet too sensitive to finish.

This time he had Neil; who kept going because Andrew told him to, even as Andrew twisted to relieve the pressure and then. Suddenly.

Stars took Andrew's vision and he bucked. Convulsed. Sprayed come down Neil's throat and over his shirt and rode the high of orgasm for what felt like an hour until it flipped to actually being too much and he flinched and pushed at Neil with his knees.

Neil wobbled and fell off the bed.

They both lay there for a minute, breathing hard.

Holy fuck.

That was.

"You good for a minute while I grab us some water and supplies?" Neil's voice was a rasp. Fuck. Andrew'd fucked his throat. The sound of it sent a shiver through him but his heat was drained for a moment. Thank fuck.

What wrenched at him was that it was an honest question. If Andrew said no, Neil would get him off again and again and again until Andrew said he was okay. Or passed out. Only then would he leave to get what they needed. Ugh. Feelings.

Andrew flapped a hand at him. Mostly curious whether Neil could move.

He could. He stood up, a little wobbly but mostly stable and Andrew got a look at him and. Fuck. Andrew swallowed. Neil was wrecked. His hair was sticking up in clumps, it looked soaked with sweat and Andrew's slick. He had come dripping down his chin from where he couldn't swallow it all and his face was shiny with slick. His shirt was drenched, sopping wet and clinging to his pecs and nipples and abs. All from Andrew squirting. He was hard in his pants, tenting them in a way that looked painful. And he was smiling his fucking satisfied smile. The one he wore at the end of a long game where every point was a struggle but they won in the end.

Andrew let his head fall back and tried to get himself under control.

He drifted, slowly reconnecting with his body and slowly coming down from the overwhelming feelings (physical and otherwise). These moments were a part of heat he didn't mind, the calm between rounds when time moved like sticky sweet molasses and his body felt good and his mind slowed down. This time he didn't even need to worry about hydrating or feeding himself, that's what Neil was for. That and mindblowing orgasms. Holy fuck.

Speaking of, Neil walked back into the bedroom with a ton of heat supplies. It was a bit of a waste, having the whole apartment but holing up here. But Andrew knew he wouldn't want to leave the bed for most of the next few days so he grudgingly respected it. He let Neil force them both to hydrate and eat a powerbar. He drew the line at showering, he was gross but not that gross and he didn't want to leave the bed. Neil didn't even try to make him, just offered another orgasm before he went himself. Andrew waved him off.

Neil came back smelling of soap and water and his unimposing personal alpha scent. He was naked and still damp, hair dark and curling at the nape of his neck. His cock was half-hard and Andrew swore he could smell his banked desire from across the room. He leaned down to kiss Andrew and Andrew pulled him onto the bed. The feel of clean skin against his own sweat soaked and come streaked body making him groan deep in his chest.

"Fuck me," Neil gasped against his mouth. His cock had jumped and filled fast as they kissed.

Andrew rolled his hips against Neil's just to tease him and hear his moan before saying, "that won't satisfy me."

He got a devastated whine in response. They kissed for a moment longer before Neil pulled back and said, "me only lasting two thrusts won't satisfy you either."

"You assume I'm letting you in my cunt right now, maybe I want your fingers again," Andrew shot back, rolling his hips against Neil's again.

Neil hung his head and panted, shuddering against Andrew and Andrew stopped teasing. Had he just made Neil come? Neil's head dropped to touch Andrew's chest and he swore, holding himself still. His voice was a stuttering overwhelmed mess when he gasped out, "I want it so bad. I want you in me when I come. You can fuck me until I'm hard again."

He hadn't come. The knowledge rocked through Andrew. Neil had to be right on the edge, barely holding on. But he hadn't come. Because he wanted Andrew inside him.

Andrew'd never met an alpha so into being fucked. Neil loved it. It wasn't the only thing they did, or even the type of sex they had the most often, but when they had the opportunity Neil always asked for it. Andrew thought about fucking Neil as he came and then continuing while he was oversensitive and overwhelmed. He had to swallow at the thought. Fuck. Fuck Neil for being so tempting.

He grabbed Neil's hips and hauled him so he was sitting on his hips. His dick nestled between Neil's ass cheeks. Neil grinned and Andrew rolled his eyes.

"Get on with it, if you want my dick so bad," he said, ignoring the way his hands clenched on Neil's hips at the feeling of his plush ass grinding on his cock. The site and feel didn't allow room in his head to feel empty.

Neil groaned and shifted and reached back to grab Andrew's dick. Andrew froze when the head of his dick touched Neil's ass. He held Neil up, hovering just above his cock. Neil pouted at him.

"I'm not fucking you without-"

Neil cut him off as he leaned back, "I stretched myself in the shower." He dropped his hand behind himself and sank three fingers into Andrew curling them and scraping slick out of him and onto his hand. Andrew arched and let out a noise that was definitely not a shriek.

Before he could do more than glare, Neil grabbed his cock with his slicked up hand, spread it all over his cock, and sank down. Andrew could only gasp and clutch Neil's hips as he rode him all of twice before his mouth fell open in what was probably objectively a hilarious expression but in this moment was the hottest thing Andrew'd ever seen. His back arched and he mouth stayed open in that silent moan of ecstacy as he came, cock completely untouched, purpling at the tip and flushed all over and shooting come hard enough to hit Andrew's cheek.

Andrew waited as Neil panted and stared into nothing. When he started to blink his eyes back into focus, Andrew rolled his hips and said, "smartass." If it came out breathy with awe and desire, that was Neil's fault.

He rolled his hips again, fucking up into Neil as his own desire rose. Neil was tight, so fucking tight, and hot and slick. He'd lubed himself in the shower too, fuck.

His hips jackrabbitted up at the thought and Andrew froze; Neil was sensitive. But before Andrew could finish the thought, Neil was gasping, "yes." A word that was half moan as he collapsed onto Andrew's chest.

Heat flared through Andrew and he let himself go, fucking Neil as he twitched and whimpered on top of him. The tight friction around his cock made his eyes roll back a bit; like the rest of his body, his cock was more sensitive in heat and Neil's ass was amazing. Neil was listing to the side though, too overwhelmed to hold himself up. Andrew grit his teeth and pulled out. Neil gasped and shuddered and eventually slurred, "you didn't come."

"You want my come so bad?" Andrew snorted and let Neil slide to the bed, flopped there, shivery and oversensitive. If he spread Neil's asscheeks Andrew'd bet his hole would be clenching, grasping for something to fill it. He knelt between Neil's legs and didn't look, he'd seen it before and right now he needed to be back inside Neil the same way Neil needed him to be inside.

He slid in and fuck. Somehow, in the seconds it took to rearrange them he'd forgotten how it felt to slide his heat-sensitive cock into Neil's ass. Neil moaned and Andrew hung his head and bit at his shoulders which only made Neil twitch tighter. Andrew moved and they both couldn't keep the noises inside.

It was a frantic blur of pleasure and skin and Neil's gasps and moans for the next few minutes until the pleasure crested and Andrew came, burying himself deep in Neil's ass and covering his body.

They both lay there, gasping. Only. Fuck. Andrew felt gapingly empty. Like there was a void where his cunt was. He rolled off Neil and made a frustrated growl. Neil made a muffled noise in return and like Andrew'd thought, he was going to be useless for the next while. Worth it though. So fucking worth it.

He wiggled his way to the edge of the bed and draped his upper body over the edge, groping around for the heat box that lived under their bed. Neil made a noise of appreciation but didn't touch him. Andrew refused to acknowledge that the consideration, not touching him when he couldn't see, made him feel things. Fuzzy things. He grabbed the heat box instead. He needed something in his cunt. Now.

He grabbed his favourite vibe, not the same one Allison bought him back in university (the battery hadn't even lasted until graduation. A major disappointment given it was supposed to be top quality. Allison called him a dildo snob but then helped him test 10 different vibes for comfort, strength, and how the batteries held up with prolonged use). This one, much to Neil's disappointment, wasn't orange. It was a much more reasonable black. He flexed his back and Neil made another appreciative noise as he twisted to sprawl on the bed. He spread his legs and shoved the vibe into his sopping cunt.

"Wanna help," Neil mumbled and Andrew rolled his eyes. He wasn't waiting.

"When you have enough energy to move, you'll fuck me, not use this," Andrew snapped. Or at least he tried to snap, the toy felt amazing inside him, stretching him in all the right ways. And watching Neil squirm and flop over onto his back so he could stare at Andrew fucking himself made him shiver and clench down on the toy.

They'd done this before, Andrew fucking himself with a toy while Neil watched. Andrew always meant to use it as a tease, and it worked, but it always devolved into Neil making suggestions and Andrew following them. It also almost always ended with Neil eating him out after he came, gently licking him until he wasn't shivery with pleasure and then eating him out until he came again. Sensitive with heat, able to smell and hear and see Neil in the room with him and knowing that this heat Neil could see him too as he fucked himself made it better. Made it more.

He turned on the vibe and bit down on his other hand, legs twitching wider like he unconsciously wanted Neil to see more, see how his cunt was gushing slick, how it was sliding down his ass and soaking the sheets. How the vibe shook inside him. Neil'd never felt it in Andrew. Neil moving the vibe was too close to actually fucking him. (He'd used vibes on Neil and they made Neil flinch and whine and squirm.) But now. Now Andrew wanted Neil's hand on the vibe, wanted Neil to be the one fucking him. 

He forced himself to take a deep breath and not beg. He'd never forgive himself if he begged. It would ruin this entire experience when he remembered later. He focused on Neil, on his cock that was pudging up again, on the expanse of his body, so familiar with its scars and bruises from Exy and flushed all the way down his chest with desire, on his hole and how there was come trickling out of it to smear on his thighs like he was the omega here; on his face, his hair entirely disheveled and his face flushed, his mouth open to breathe hard, his eyes staring back in a way that screamed desire but not ownership. Andrew fucked himself and put on a show, arching and moaning and pinching a nipple with his other hand and Neil moaned in tandem, deliberately not touching himself. Andrew fucked himself, the vibe buzzing and lighting him up from the inside and he came, skin feeling seared from Neil watching. Feeling flayed raw with pleasure and emotion.

Neil reached out, once Andrew was gasping and panting and had wrenched the vibe into the off position, leaving it sitting inside him. Neil stopped just shy of touching his ankle and Andrew said, "yes, menace."

The gentle touch on his ankle gutted him. It grounded him and made him want and he shivered and bit his cheek to stop himself from moaning or cursing at Neil or both. He lay there for a moment, trying to get ahold of himself.

It didn't work. Between the touch on his ankle and the sight of Neil, looking wrecked and most of the way hard again, Andrew couldn't collect himself. He kept shivering and clenching on the vibe, which felt inadequate. It was too cold and small and curved and - (it wasn't any of those things. It was his favourite for a reason. But it also wasn't Neil.)

"Hands on the slats," Andrew said, still panting a little. Neil didn't ask if he was sure, his eyes just darkened as he raised his arms and gripped the slats of the headboard. They'd done that before. Sometimes Andrew couldn't handle being touched, even the thought that Neil could touch made him wary, so he wanted Neil’s hands out of the way. But the one time they'd tried handcuffs was a disaster. This worked. (So did rope. And scarves. And any restraints that weren’t cuffs. But this was the best.)

Except that it left Neil's mouth free to say things like, "my mouth?" as he let his jaw drop, ready to suck or be ridden.

Andrew rolled his eyes, "your cock, menace."

Neil swallowed and shifted, hands never even twitching on the headboard. "You sure I'm enough for you?" He was teasing, Andrew could hear it in his voice but there was real concern there too.

He rolled his eyes and swung a leg over Neil's hips, sitting on his stomach. He took a sharp breath at the feel of Neil's abs under his cunt, grinding into the base of his cock. "Scared of getting your cock wet?"

Neil moaned at the grinding, his cock nestled along Andrew's crack. But he shuddered and stopped himself from shifting. His eyes and the twist of his mouth went sly as he said, "of course I'm nervous, my cock's never been inside anyone."

Andrew's mouth went dry and he could feel himself gush a little and his cock jump. Fuck Neil for realizing his stupid virgin kink. But he was right, Neil's cock hadn't been inside anything but Andrew's mouth and hands. He'd never felt this before. He wanted to be the first, the only, cunt Neil ever felt. But that reminded him that this was Neil's first. And he was taking that for his heat. He opened his mouth-

"Yes," Neil said, cutting him off before he could even ask. Fucker.

As Andrew started to move, lifting himself, Neil spoke again, "I know you've got that birth control device in you and I'm taking the pills but do you want a condom?" Andrew wanted to swear at him for even asking. But he forced himself to think about it. As much as he could with his heat-addled brain. He didn't want the feeling of a condom inside him and they didn't use one when he fucked Neil so it was useless as disease prevention. But neither of them wanted kids. Not now. Maybe not ever. (Both of them spoiled Dan and Matt's kid every time they saw the tiny whirlwind but they also agreed that they didn't want one of their own.) Was it enough to count on his IUD, Neil's pills, and the fact that both their systems were a little fucked up from their years of being suppressed? They should have talked about this before. Andrew hadn't even thought about it.

"Do we even have condoms?" He spit.

Neil looked up at him, still unmoving, ball in Andrew's court as he said, "in my bag. I swiped a box from the medic's room."

Fuck him for thinking of it and grabbing them.

"I'm okay if we don't," Neil said, "I didn't even think of it until I heard some of the guys talking about how much they hate using them. They can't be that bad."

"It's like fucking a balloon animal," Andrew scoffed and then froze as Neil started laughing, his abs jumping and moving under Andrew's cunt. His heat flared at that decided him. He wasn't fucking waiting and getting up and finding the things. He reached back and grabbed Neil's cock.

Neil went completely still, laughter cutting off as Andrew slid his cunt along his cock. Both of them swallowed and Andrew paused there, head of Neil's cock at the mouth of his cunt. He hesitated for a moment longer before growling at himself; he wanted this and was fed up with getting in his own way about having it.

He pressed down and it felt good. Like any time he pressed something into his cunt during heat. The head spread him open and eventually was fully inside.

"Slow," Neil choked out and Andrew snapped back into awareness, Neil's knuckles were white where he was gripping the headboard, his eyes were fixed on Andrew, and his mouth was open and gasping. He was flushed most of the way down his chest and looked utterly wrecked. It made Andrew remember that this was the first time Neil'd done this. Felt this. And he could feel a gush of slick leak from him and slide down Neil's cock at the knowledge.

He took it slow. For Neil. So he didn't get overwhelmed and come too soon. Not because having a real cock, another person, inside him was making him shaky and unmoored. He focused on Neil's face so he didn't have to think about his own face and how that better be sweat rolling down his cheeks.

What felt like an eternity later, his hips met Neil's and they both sat there, trembling, for a moment. Having a dick in him wasn't shatteringly good, wasn't better than a sex toy. It was warm and had a texture that was hard to get in sex toys. But not impossible. If the feel of it was all he needed, he'd buy a high end, realistic toy and get Neil to warm it in a water bath every so often. It would never go soft and have no danger to it. But he didn't need that, it wasn't that much better than his regular vibes. The thing that was shatteringly good, the thing that made Andrew breathe harder and know that this heat was going to be the shortest and best of his life, the thing that made him tremble, was having Neil inside him. Seeing him flushed and white knuckled on the headboard, holding on for dear life. Hearing his ragged breaths, feeling his legs draw up behind Andrew's back because he was overwhelmed with the need to move, to thrust, and then feeling them flatten again and start shaking as he controlled himself. Andrew leaned forward and kissed him and they both let out broken moans.

When he drew back they paused, the moment endless. Then Neil said, "are you going to ride me or what?"

Andrew snorted and then moaned at the feel of laughing with a cock in him. Especially when Neil was laughing too. And then, because fuck Neil. No really, Andrew was going to fuck Neil Josten and his beautiful cock that felt good inside him.

He moved and Neil moaned and pleasure spiked through him. He wasn't going to last. Between grinding on him and the sight and feel of him beneath him, Andrew wasn't going to last long.

It was two, three, four thrusts of glorious friction, Neil twitching and shifting just enough to make it impossible to forget he was a person between Andrew's legs. His choked off moans enough to make Andrew unable to forget that it was Neil inside him. Andrew came. Hard and shuddering and fast, unable to hold back. His heat sensitized body wanted this, wanted this specific thing and Andrew wanted Neil and fuck it was good.

He slumped slightly as Neil shook beneath him but raised his knees to give Andrew something to lean on, even if they were shaky.

Neil shifted a bit and took a hand off the headboard. But it was only to stretch his wrist and fingers out, let them relax from gripping so tensely. His cock was rock hard inside Andrew but he didn't thrust or even grind. Andrew wanted to scream at his self-control.

"You can touch," he said. He never realized how used to Neil's respectful touching he'd gotten until they did things like this. Neither of them normally lasted this long without letting Neil act in some way. Neil's breath shuddered out of him and his newly relaxed hands went immediately to Andrew's face. Not his hips or waist, like Neil didn't care that Andrew was just sitting there. He probably didn't.

Neil touched him all over, hands skimming his face and neck and back, groping his ass and pulling his cheeks apart to slip his fingers in and really get a handful. His fingers skimmed Andrew's asshole and fuck, tomorrow, when Andrew was too wrung out to do anything but be fucked, he wanted Neil to put a vibe in his ass and then fuck his cunt. But here and now, Neil's hands didn't linger, they stroked down his thighs and squeezed his calves then skimmed back up the fronts. His fingers dipped into the space between them, getting wet and feeling out where they were joined. Andrew shifted, ground down on Neil's cock and fingers and Neil moaned, feeling him move and feeling the slick that leaked out of him when he did. His hands move on to Andrew's cock, half hard and chubbing up at Neil's touch. Neil stroked it, played with it idly for a bit which made Andrew clench on his cock and writhe before he moved on. Andrew wanted to demand his hand back, demand he bring him off but Neil's fingers were on his nipples, still wet with his own slick and that was almost as good. Better even, because his nipples had been neglected until now so they weren't oversensitive. He arched, pressing his pecs into Neil's hands.

"Obsessed," he panted out, grinding in time with Neil's hands on his pecs.

He missed what Neil said, too caught up in the feel of his hands on his chest but it was probably something like "of course" or "me or you?" He was utterly unashamed of his obsession with Andrew's neck and chest. When he was new to the team and none of the reporters knew him yet, one sleazy one had asked all of the male players who "had the best tits" on the team. Obviously trying to get them to say gross things about the women of their team. Unfortunately for him, he asked the captain, who said nothing, and then Neil who said, with an entirely straight face and earnest voice, "Andrew has the best tits out of everyone here." Fucker knew exactly what he was doing and no one else answered seriously. But Andrew knew. Neil was serious. He loved Andrew's chest and, like his neck, it was almost always a safe spot for Neil to touch. Here and now, Neil carefully wound a hand through Andrew's hair and tugged lightly. Andrew moved with it and bent down, kissing Neil.

Neil moved on to mouthing at his neck and Andrew shuddered as he always did. Neil moved one hand back to a pec, squeezing and massaging the muscle and circling and pinching the nipple. Andrew clenched around him and gasped into his ear. Neil lifted his chin and his breath brushed Andrew's ear as he said, "ride me. Take what you need."

His hands were nowhere near Andrew's hips and his legs had gone flat again, giving him no leverage to take Andrew. Andrew moved, because he did want this. He fucked Neil, moving on him, lost in the feeling of Neil inside him and marking up his neck and playing with his nipples. His entire body was washed with pleasure.

Eventually, he realized he was shaking, his legs exhausted from riding and whole body on the edge of orgasm. He gasped out, "move."

Neil raised his knees, planted his feet and they moved together, kissing again. Neil fucked up into him and Andrew's eyes rolled back at how good it felt. Neil's hands were still nowhere near his hips, still not controlling anything. But feeling him move, how much he wanted this-

The warmth started in his core and spread to his limbs, everything tingling and twitching and he came; a moan torn out of him, legs giving out under him, sending him flat against Neil's chest and hips. Neil let out sound like he'd been punched and went rigid, burying his face in Andrew's neck.

It took a long time for them to gather themselves but not as long as the first time Neil came on his cock and Andrew finished inside him. They'd occasionally been sleeping in the same bed by that point and they took so long to recover that they both fell asleep. This time, Andrew's heat wouldn't allow that. He shifted and felt a bulge against his cunt and want flashed through him.

"You made me pop a knot," Neil said, dazed and breathless.

He had. 

Neil'd never knotted with Andrew before. Andrew didn't want it inside him, not even in the depths of heat. But he ground against it just to feel it, his heat rising again. "What, never knotted your fist before?"

"No. Never," Neil gasped out. His hands were on Andrew's hips now but Andrew didn't care, the heat roaring through him at grinding on Neil's first ever knot. Neil wasn't trying to fuck into Andrew - he had his hands on his hips to try to hold him still.

Neil whined and that was his too oversensitive to continue whine. The one he made when they needed to stop but he wanted to give Andrew what he wanted. "Yes or no, Neil."

"I want to, you feel amazing, but I need a minute." Neil sounded as unhappy as Andrew felt.

He tore himself off Neil's cock and got to see it, dribbling come, dripping with his slick, knot big and ruddy at the bottom. Andrew swallowed and reached for the toy box. "I knew your dick wouldn't be as good as a dildo."

Neil snorted, reading the lie for what it was and said, "all I need is a cock ring."

"Where-" Andrew accused but he knew the answer and was laughing as he demanded, "stop talking to Allison about our sex life."

Neil only grinned, "I think there's one in there, if you want to use it later."

Fuck. Neil able to fuck him for hours. Andrew grabbed a dildo from the box and impaled himself. Neil kissed him as they laughed and Andrew fucked himself.

Best heat yet.

Maybe if the rest continued like this, he wouldn't hate his heats anymore. Maybe.