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Gyuvin and Ricky had spent the evening celebrating Gyuvin's twentieth birthday, with a small get-together at his place. However, Gyuvin had seemed a little off to Ricky all day, not quite as cheerful as he'd usually be.
Ricky had been expecting Gyuvin to open up about it after everyone else had left, but he hadn't. Instead, they'd settled onto the couch in silence, ending up watching re-runs on the TV.
To make matters stranger, Gyuvin hadn't kissed him even once, and when Ricky had tried to initiate, Gyuvin had redirected him to his cheek instead. For Ricky, nothing about it had felt like Gyuvin simply wasn't in the mood for kissing, but more like he was uncomfortable to be receiving his affection at all, like something about it was wrong.
When another mind-numbing cycle of ads began to play on the TV, Ricky muted it, deciding that it was time for him to address the elephant in the room. It had turned into a weight in his chest, and he couldn't imagine that Gyuvin would be feeling much better.
"I can tell something's bothering you. What is it?" Ricky asked quietly, keeping his eyes on the screen to give Gyuvin the space he very clearly needed.
"It's... stupid," Gyuvin mumbled.
As soon as the words left Gyuvin's mouth, Ricky was reminded of an earlier time, a similar conversation they'd had many years ago.
Since then, Ricky had watched Gyuvin grow from shy and sweet to confident and caring, but on rare occasions some of those old insecurities would still try to return. This seemed to be one of those times, and Ricky wasn't about to let it fester.
"It's bothering you, that automatically makes it non-stupid," Ricky said. It didn't differ much from what he'd told Gyuvin all those years ago.
"Yeah…" Gyuvin trailed off.
"So, what's on your mind?" Ricky prompted him gently, after another short stretch of silence.
"I haven't presented."
From the corner of his eye, Ricky could see Gyuvin practically deflating as the words left his mouth.
"You literally just turned twenty. There's still plenty of time for you to present," Ricky replied, keeping his tone soft and reassuring. "Plus, this way it'll be less of a surprise when it does happen."
"But doesn't it bother you?" Gyuvin asked as he shifted in his seat to face Ricky.
"Why would it bother me?" Ricky questioned, turning to Gyuvin with a mixture of surprise and confusion.
"I can't scent you, or even smell you for that matter, and I can't knot you either," Gyuvin listed, looking dejected.
"Hey, whoa, slow down. When did I ever say you need to be doing any of those things?" Ricky asked, even more confused. "Of course I'm excited to experience all of them with you in the future, but I don't care how many months it takes for that to happen, and it absolutely does not bother me that you haven't presented."
"I- I guess I know that, but... it just feels kind of shitty that I'm not able to give any of those things to you already. You deserve them," Gyuvin mumbled, his head bowed.
"Gyuvin. You're already giving me so much. Everything I could ever want, and then some. A random alpha could never do for me what you can. A scent or a knot would be completely meaningless to me if it wasn't yours," Ricky said, lifting Gyuvin's chin to get him to meet his gaze again. "So don't try to tell me what I 'deserve' when what I want is still you. As you are."
"Yeah- I... I've been trying to remind myself of that," Gyuvin stammered out, his eyes glossy. "And I still feel the same, too. About you."
"I know you do. You show it to me at every turn, without fail," Ricky hummed, holding Gyuvin's face in his hands.
Gyuvin nodded a little, his trembling lips pressed together so tightly that they were losing their colour. Gently, Ricky coaxed them free with his thumb, and leaned in to kiss Gyuvin.
He reciprocated, no longer shying away from Ricky's affection as if it was something he didn't deserve. The change towards normal eased some of the heaviness in Ricky's chest, and he poured all of his love into the kiss, wanting Gyuvin to feel it beyond doubt.
As they parted, Ricky leaned back to take in Gyuvin's appearance.
"Look at you, you barely even cried but your nose still got all red," Ricky said fondly. Gyuvin let out a chuckle, sniffling a little.
"It's. So. Fucking. Cute," Ricky murmured, watching Gyuvin break into a teary-eyed smile.
Ricky couldn't help but plant a kiss to the tip of Gyuvin's pink nose, overcome by just how much he adored him. Gyuvin's smile only widened, and seeing it lifted away more of the weight that had been settled over Ricky's heart. But still, he knew that he needed to address a couple more things in order to feel like the situation had been truly resolved.
"How long had you been feeling like that about not having presented?" Ricky asked, eyeing Gyuvin's face.
His expression became serious again, a slight furrow in his brow as he wiped the tear-tracks from his cheeks.
"It… started a few days ago, when I fully realised that I was gonna be turning twenty soon, unpresented. I think I'd always just kind of assumed, or expected, that I was gonna present before my birthday, so it kinda fucked with me when I noticed that I was running out of time on that front," Gyuvin said.
Ricky couldn't quite decide if he was relieved that it hadn't been longer than that, or if it had already been far too long for Gyuvin to have been carrying those kinds of feelings.
"Why didn't you tell me you were worrying about our relationship?" Ricky asked. It was the question that he needed an answer to the most.
"Like I said, I... already pretty much knew that I was being stupid, that none of it was based on anything you actually think about me, so I didn't wanna bother you with some shit I was making up in my head," Gyuvin mumbled.
"That doesn't mean you should've been bottling it up. Those feelings were very real, regardless of what they were based on," Ricky replied softly.
"Yeah, I should've... should've brought it up to you instead of stewing in it and letting it get this bad," Gyuvin said, sounding embarrassed, and a little guilty. "I'm sorry."
"I forgive you, of course," Ricky said, taking Gyuvin's hands into his to reassure him further. "And let me know if you start feeling like that again, okay? You're not bothering me by telling me that something's wrong."
"Yeah, I will," Gyuvin replied, intertwining their fingers. "Same goes for you."
"Feeling better about all that stuff now?" Ricky checked, just to be sure.
"Definitely," Gyuvin confirmed, an easy smile forming on his face. "Thanks."
"Of course," Ricky murmured.
"But... I wish I hadn't made tonight so weird, though," Gyuvin said quietly, his happy expression faltering.
"There's still plenty of night left. We can make it into whatever we want," Ricky replied, stroking Gyuvin's thumb with his own.
"I just wanna be here with you. Genuinely here, not stuck in my head," Gyuvin said.
"Sounds perfect," Ricky hummed. That was all he'd wanted, too.
Gyuvin shifted closer to Ricky and brought their lips together, this time being the one to initiate. Finally getting to receive Gyuvin's affection again, Ricky's heart felt light with relief and joy.