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TEA!

Summary:

Watson and Holmes argue over Tea, as behind the forth wall, emails.

Notes:

So while i was trying to make dinner my friend (who wishes to be known as The Illogical One) decided to email me.
Lots.
And this is what happened.
Its not my fault, i swear...

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Told you i was smart
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Silly Watson :)
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Shut up holmes!
and where did you put the tea?

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"Check the dust Watson!" Holmes ejaculated, speaking of himself in third person as best to annoy his slightly dim witted friend.

 

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"You know Simon legally changed his name Holmes." Simon said, deciding to match Holmes' third person speaking as he seemed to be high, and it was always good to just go along with whatever madness holmes spouted when he was on the cocaine

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Holmes looked to the skull next to him, compressing the laughter that seemed to be surfacing.
"Perhaps there's hope for him after all,"
The skulls silence seemed to say all,
"No you're right, I was rather expecting too much."
Leaning back on his chair he began to ponder why John had taken a fetish to the name Simon

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Simon/John looked over at holmes curiously. Perhaps he hadnt noticed that HE was the one conversing with a skull. And Simon/John was suprised that the innocent Holmes even knew what a fetish WAS!
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Holmes looked at John as he typed his response painfully slow, his full attention on the screen.
As he watched his friend he noticed something on the roof, looking up he saw what looked like the remains of a human brain, sticky and brown as if someone had dipped it in tea slowly pealing itself off the ceiling right above John's head.
Looking at the skull he smiled, "Should we tell him?"
The skull was silent once more
"Well generally I would agree but this may be pushing the bonds between..." Suddenly he was interrupted by a new message that had appeared on his computer.
Smiling he looked at John, "Well Watson it appears that my vocabulary has exceeded the expectations of your own mind! Behold I shall use this most marvellous word once more," leaning in Holmes continued, "Do you have a fetish for heads or brains?"

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Watson sighed. It was obvious that Holmes had used his laptop while he was out of the room to google "fetish". He may no be up the skills of holmes in deduction, but he could see minute green finger prints on the F and E buttons of his computer. He looked up curiously as holmes spoke to the skull again. Upon hearing the words he had spoken, Watson decided that perhaps ignorance was bliss,
Watson stood, stretched and walked into the kitchen to get some jam biscuits.

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"We're out of tea!" called Holmes as the brains fell from the ceiling
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"Damn it Hol-"
"What was that?...Holmes what was that sound?"
Watson turned and walked back into the room, dreading what was to come, and rightly so, as he then saw some sort of....indescribable mush of-
"Is that...tea?"
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"Yes though I rather think you won't fetish it as such," Holmes went about typing on his laptop once more, ignoring Johns looks of horror
"I rather wondered where that had got to,"
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Never before had watson wished as much for a good murder. At least he could post this "adventure" on his blog. He went to grab hid laptop and head upstairs only to realise that the brain-tea had gotten into it.
"Dammit holmes!"
Decided to cut his losses, Watson stalked out of the apartment.
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Holmes looked at the skull remembering the friend that it had once sat upon,
"I think its around time you were replaced,"
The skull was silent...again
"Oh don't look so heart broken," he looked towards John's room, "I have just the head for the job. What do you think?"
He looked at the silent skull
Sighing he went back to his computer, "You're right of course, where would we get the tea from."

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Notes:

Thank you for reading to the end.
:)