Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

All he heard was the loud sounds of machinery whirring and hissing in the hangar as he laid there, it felt as if time itself had slowed down as he knew he would die, he felt his heart beat quickly, he thought he would die from the fear; he heard a loud ringing in his ears. 

He didn't want to die, he was scared. 

But. If it was to end the killing game he would do it. 

As he laid on the cold metal deep in thought he suddenly thought of Shuichi; he smiled when he thought about the detective, specifically when they played games during their free time; he wanted to do that again, but he wouldn't be able to after this. 

He wished he could've told Shuichi how he felt. His smile faded as tears suddenly fell from his eyes. He would never get to tell Shuichi that he loved him, he would never get to tell him how much he cared to him. He smiled again as he remembered how concerned Shuichi was for him when he cut his finger with the knife; he chuckled. He wished he had told Shuichi something, because now, he wouldn't be able to. 

"You're alone Kokichi, and you always will be" those words suddenly entered his head and his smile once again faded. Maybe it was for the best he didn't say anything before, because once Shuichi found finds out that he's dead when kaito reveals himself to invalidate monokuma's vote, would've hurt him way more if he knew Kokichi's feelings. Some things are better left unsaid he guessed.

As kokichi thought about it more, he smiled. His death wouldn't really matter, he set himself up perfectly to be a bad guy; so when he dies and everyone finds out, they wouldn't care, they would probably be happy that he's finally gone, in a way, it contributed to making his soon-to-be-death something that isn't bad but good. 

Just at that moment he heard a faint click where Kaito would be standing to turn the press back on. Not even a second later Kokichi heard the press above him start whirring to life and moved down. Before he died, he whispered something that only he would hear. "I love you Shuichi."

Then, everything went black. 

Chapter Text

Everything was dark, he couldn't see a thing; until suddenly, his eyes had opened once again, he suddenly sat up and looked around feeling completely confused. 

"what the fuck? Where am I?" he thought as he looked around the room. There was an IV needle in his wrist, he wanted to pull it out but knew the dangers of doing that. He combed his hand that didn't have the IV through his messy hair. 

He had no clue what was going on "what's going on, this looks like a hospital room? How am I not dead? What happened to the others? Are they dead? Did my plan fail?" He looked around the room and noticed how dark it was, the only fight coming from the window that had the curtains open, allowing the moon the shine into the room. 

He gasped for breath as he kept repeating those questions inside his head, it felt like he couldn't breathe, he can't breathe; his face suddenly felt hot and tears streamed down his eyes, he looked around frantically as he clenched on the sheets on the hospital bed tightly with fear and confusion. 

Fear?

He was supposed to be dead, why wasn't he dead? He pulled the blanket and his fists where holding tightly and brought it to his face to wipe the tears on his face away. He couldn't be afraid, he can't let his guard down, he doesn't know what would happen if he doesn't do something; monokuma might come for all he knows. 

Slowly and carefully he stands up from the bed, his legs feel weak, but as soon as he stands up his vision suddenly blurs and his ears ring, he feels like he's about to pass out; he immediately goes back to sit on the bed and the weird feelings disappear quickly. 

Once he feels better he stands back up and doesn't feel the same thing again. He grabs the IV pole and slowly walks towards the door in the room that he presumes takes him out of the room. 

He slowly shuffles and once he's at the door and opens it, he peeks out and looks down the hallways, he felt a little confused, the lights in the hallways were off and it was basically dead quiet. Weren't hospitals normally very loud? Since they're open almost all the time to help people. 

Feeling a bit nervous, Kokichi starts to slowly walk out of his room, he pushes the door a bit towards the doorframe so he could see the front of the door, and there he sees his name; he let's out a confused hum, normally when a patient is in a room the hospital doesn't go out of its way to put the patient's name on the door, since the rooms that have a patient in them is put in a system instead of changing the door to know who's inside. 

Kokichi decides to walk to the nearest door, and there he sees the name "Kaito Momota" Kokichi states at it with a puzzled expression, he grabs the handle and pulls the door forward slowly and as quiet as possible. There he sees a figure in a bed, sleeping. Kokichi closes the door and decides to keep looking around. 

He walks down the opposite side of the hallway and sees something he didn't expect to see "Gotta Gokuhara" Kokichi froze in place when he read it, his eyes widened and he quickly opened the door, there he saw a big figure sleeping. Kokichi left the door open and moved down the halls as fast as his body could at the moment. 

"Miu Iruma, Korekiyo Shinguji, Tenko Chabashira, Angie, Kirumi, Ryoma, Kaede, Rantaro" As Kokichi walked past every room he would open the door and quickly move to the next one, not even caring to be quiet or even close the doors. 

Kokichi let go the IV pole, his legs wobbled without the support of the pole and he fell to his knees, tears of joy  fell from his eyes. He was so happy everyone was alive, but he was also scared. Did they remember the killing game? Where's monokuma? If they remember, would that still hate me? 

Kokichi suddenly flinched when he heard footsteps, he wiped the tears away from his eyes and shipped his head around to look for the source of the noise; he could barely see anything and he cursed himself for waking up when it was nighttime. 

Kokichi grabbed the IV pole and used it to help himself up, he walked towards the sound and ran into. 

Shuichi. 

They both froze and stood in place, looking at each other with wide eyes, with surprise. 

"K-Kokichi? You're, You're finally awake" he mumbled softly and took a step towards him. Kokichi took a step back. 

Seeing Shuichi, he couldn't help but think of his feeling and what Shuichi had said after the fourth class trial. 

Kokichi wanted to hug Shuichi, he was so happy he was okay, but right now, he had no clue as to what the hell was happening, he was scared if monokuma was around, he was scared of what he didn't know yet. 

He opened his mouth to speak and suddenly noticed how dry his throat was, and how much it hurt, but he cleared his throat and spoke. Based on what Shuichi had said, he was asleep for quiet a while, so he said. "Shumai! How are you? You didn't miss me too much did you? I missed you so much! But that's a lie!" He said cheerfully. 

He immediately started to walk off, not wanting to stay any longer. 

"Wait! Kokichi I need to tell yo-"

"Shh, you have to be quiet, Shumai, it's nighttime, I'm going back to my room, but I might not be, I could be lying. Anyways I'll talk to you later when the sun is up, but that might be a lie again!"

Shuichi didn't say anything this time as Kokichi walked towards the direction where the room he woke up in was at. He probably should talk to Shuichi later to get information on what the fuck is going on. 

Kokichi finally reaches his room and closes the door behind him; he shuffles to his bed, he leaves the IV pole where he found it when he woke up and crawled onto his bed, he felt so tried. His eyelids slowly closed and then everything went dark and quiet. 

Chapter Text

The sun illuminated the room as it slowly rose from the horizon, as the hospital room was filled with warmth and light from the sun, Kokichi woke up from the irritation that came from the sun light hitting his eyelids. 

He slowly sat up in his bed and looked around feeling nervous, he was still scared of what might happen, was the killing game a dream or something? No, it couldn't be, he remembers every single moment of it, especially how realistic the pain felt, it couldn't have been some kind of dream. 

His body felt sore from walking around last night when his body felt so weak, he then noticed how thirsty he was, his throat felt dry and when he swallowed it hurt, he cleared his throat, feeling that it wasn't important at the moment, he needed to think. 

He remembered seeing Shuichi last night, he could talk to him since he's the most trustworthy; but Shuichi might not want to see him. No, wait that's wrong, Shuichi seemed like he needed to tell something to Kokichi, so saying that Shuichi didn't want to see him must be wrong. 

"but he hates me, why would he want to talk to me? This could confirm that everything was a dream. Shuichi would never want to talk to me after... Gonta's trial. Shuichi didn't seem angry or scared, if anything he looked, almost, nervous?" Kokichi thought, he turned his head to his left and looked out the window, it still looked pretty earlier. 

He slowly shuffled to the end of his bed and stood up, before he immediately sat down when he felt like passing out again from standing almost too quickly. He sighed, once he felt like he wasn't going to pass out he stood up and grabbed onto the IV pole for support, he took a few steps away from the bed before the door opened. 

Kokichi saw an unfamiliar woman enter the room in a nurse's outfit, she walked up to Kokichi and placed her hand on his back for support before trying to lead him back onto his bed. "You shouldn't be up, you should be resting, your body hasn't moved in a while, so moving your body like too quickly will only make you tired and sore; you need to start slowly by sitting up, then later on standing, then walking, you need to reintroduce your body to moving around after so long" she says still trying to get him back to the bed but him not budging. 

Kokichi looked at her with an unimpressed look before pouting. "Huh? No fair! I wanna walk around and do my own stuff." He said in a whiny tone, he started to shuffle away from her but was immediately stopped. 

"Please get back to bed and rest, I need to get the IV out of you and get you some breakfast. After that I will inform you on what has been going on, I just need you to rest first" she said, trying to convince him. 

Kokichi thought about accepting it to help his sore throat, but he knew looking around and finding out what was happening was better, either way, he needed to know if everyone was also okay first. 

He also most importantly needed to find Shuichi, he was the most trustworthy, he couldn't trust this random woman, she can keed him lies, while he could easily detect lies, he didn't know this woman enough to know if she was good at lying or not, so Shuichi was the better choice. So... 

"Okay miss nurse, your words convinced me! I'll go back to bed." He said in a chipper tone before turning around and shuffling back to his bed, he climbed on and laid down with a relived sigh. "You know, that breakfast sounds nice, can you tell me everything after I have something to eat?" He asked and she nodded. 

"Of course, but allow me to take the IV out, you won't need it now that you're awake" she carefully pulled the needle out of his skin, and it fake flight uncomfortable for him, but it was quick enough not to care afterwards. 

She turned around and started to walk away, she stopped at the doorframe and turned around "I'll be right back, please rest well in the meantime" she said before walking out of the room. 

Kokichi immediately got out of the bed, he grabbed the IV pole that was no longer attached to him and walked towards the door, not really caring that he stood up too quickly and almost felt like passing out a second ago. 

He waited by the door for a minute just incase the nurse was still nearby, once he counted up to 60 seconds he opened the door and peeked out of the room, he looked down the hallway to the right where he saw the rooms of the dead people, then he turned to the left, he had only checked the closest room that was to the left, which was Kaito's, he didn't see Shuichi's name on any door to the right, so tht meant that the other three doors he can see from where he was standing was, Maki, Himiko, and Shuichi's room. 

He shuffled quickly down the hallway to the left, at the very end of the hallway was the double door in the middle where Kokichi guessed led to another place in this weird hospital, but he also saw a single door near Himiko's room, Shuichi's room... 

He hesitated but quickly entered and closed the door behind himself when he thought about the nurse possibility finding him and taking him back to his room. Once he entered the room he immediately noticed how it looked just like his room, the same boring white everywhere. 

But there was one thing he didn't see in the room. Shuichi, he looked around curiously before resting his back against a wall and slid down it slowly to sit on the floor, he figured that Shuichi was somewhere else right now. 

"shit, what do I do? Do I stay and wait for Shuichi? Or do I go back to my room and wait for the nurse?" Kokichi shook his head, he would wait for Shuichi, it was better to wait for Shuichi than some stranger. 

___

After what felt like an eternity for Kokichi, but was actually a few minutes, someone entered the room, it was none other than Shuichi, who seemed surprised to see Kokichi. 

"K-Kokichi? What are you doing here?" He asked as he nervously came up to Kokichi and stood next to where he was sitting. "Are you okay Kokichi?"

"No, I'm not okay! Shumai left me all alone here! I thought you would be here, apologize for making me feel unloved you meanie!" Kokichi said with a pout on his lips and he stared up at Shuichi. 

"..." Shuichi stared down at him for a few seconds before he crouched down to Kokichi's level. "You're probably really confused, right kokichi?" He asked nervously. 

Kokichi shook his head "no! I always know what is going on, but that's just a lie!" He said in a chipper tone. 

Shuichi sighed "okay. Well, I don't know how to say this..." He scratched the top of his head and averted his eyes away from the little leader. 

"Just spit it out already! If you don't, I'll make sure to torture it out of you! Since it's very effective against my enemies I'm sure it'll work against you! Right?" 

"Well, first, we auditioned to participate in the killing game, but we don't remember it because our memories were wiped. We were given fake memories from the flashback lights, like our friends, family, upbringings, everything. Even out ultimate talents. So almost evey memory you have is fake, and the memories that are real are the ones we didn't get from the flashback lights but from the game itself"

"..." Kokichi sat there in silence. "does that mean that D.I.C.E isn't real? They aren't real? I signed up for it? I knew the memories about the outside we're somewhat fabricated to an extent, but, if everything is fake. Then, Who am I?" Kokichi looked at Shuichi In the eyes before putting on a smirk. "Oh wow! I didn't see that coming, but that's a lie, I totally knew all that! Anyways, what about the dead people?"

"Oh yeah, everything wasn't real during the killing game either, it was a simulator, it's like if the simulator that Miu tried to use to... It's like that program, but better graphics that mad either feel more realistic. You could feel pain, but you wouldn't die from shock when your character in the simulator received fatal damage, instead, you would be taken out of the simulator and put in the team Danganronpa hospital to let out bodies recover from not being active during out time in the simulator... Oh yeah, team Danganronpa also gave us therapists to help recover from the trauma we got from the game too." 

Kokichi didn't know what to say, he honestly wanted to cry, the people cared about weren't real, he wanted to show Shuichi how he felt, but he didn't want to seem weak or different, he didn't need any pity from this. He just needed to help everyone, because he didn't trust this "team Danganronpa" that Shuichi talked about. 

"Wow! That's so cool Shuichi, I wonder how you were before the game, I bet you were less boring!" He said with an innocent like smile, but it was a lie. "Well I got to get to my room, I don't want to be seen hanging out with you. But that's another lie!" He grabbed the IV pole and pulled himself up.

When he stood up he immediately headed towards the door. 

Shuichi placed his hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze "Kokichi? Are you okay? You know you could tell me how you feel, it must be rough to think that everyone you knew, and you also are fake... A lie... Please tell me if anything is wrong"

"Huh? What do you mean Shuichi? The people I care about most in my fake memories, I never liked them either way! So I don't really care" He said waving a dismissing hand before shuffling out of the room. 

Shuichi stood there, he knew it was a lie, but he didn't want to force Kokichi to tell him anything, he just needed time. 

Chapter Text

Once Kokichi was out of Shuichi's room he made it to his room as quickly as his legs could. He opened the door to his room, entered and closed the door behind him slowly, he slowly made his way towards the bed, he left the IV pole next to the bed before climbing onto the the bed. 

He sat at the edge of the bed, his body felt numb as he tried to process the information he was given. Everything in the game, wasn't real. His friends, the closest thing he had to family, D.I.C.E wasn't real. 

His face felt like it stung, his vision slightly blurred as his eyes started to form tears; he tilted his head up in hopes the tears would go away, he took a few deep breaths before looking forward again, his eyes now no longer in the brink of letting tears flow down. 

He sighed and looked around the room, he couldn't just sit around and probably do nothing, he needed to figue out what was going on, there were a few things that didn't have any answer yet. 

"Who's team Danganronpa, I've never heard of something like that before. Also; we auditioned to be apart of the killing game, shit!" Kokichi grabbed his messy hair in frustration. "What happened after I died in the game? Did my plan, work? No, it doesn't matter, it wasn't real anyways." he mumbled to himself. 

The door to his room suddenly opened and he saw the nurse was back, she was holding a tray of food and under the pit of her arm was a book. 

She smiled nervously. "You shouldn't be sitting at the edge of the bed," she said, Kokichi pouted before shifting to be fully on the bed sitting up. "yeah, it's dangerous to do that, your body is still weak, so you might lose your balance and fall off, so be careful."

"Yeah whatevs" He said dismissively, the lady let out a soft sigh and placed the tray of food on his lap, it was nothing special, just a small bowl of soup and a glass of water. 

"Is it disappointing? It might be. Your body hasn't eaten proper food in a long while, so you had to be given basic nutrients in a different way; your body need to eat little by little, it needs to be reintroduced to eating food, so at first you'll be given small portions of food and slowly make your way to bigger portions so your body gts used to it again." She informed. 

"Really? I totally didn't know."

"Yes, it's called referring syndrome, when your body goes a long time without food. If your body in reintroduced to food too quickly then there is a chance or seizures, heart failure, comas or even death; so I want you to bear with the small amounts of food for now" She said before she grabbed the book that Kokichi noticed she was carrying between her arm and the side of her thorax a second ago. 

"Hey, what's that?" He asked in his usual chipper tone. 

"Ah yes, I took longer to come back with the food because I was told to give you this. Now that you're away you'll be given therapy because of the traumatic event you went through, your classmates are getting therapy too, so you won't be any different, don't worry. Anyways, I was told to give you this book, it's so you can vent you emotions write how you feel. You don't have to share it with anyone, it's just to clear your mind." She extended her hand to pass him the book, Kokichi looked at the book and hesitated in his head, but took it from her with a confident look. 

The woman pulled a pencil from her pocket and handed it to him. "You will have therapy sessions everyday at a certain time, and once a week you'll go to group therapy where you and all your other classmates talk about how you feel." She stared at him for a few seconds as it searching for another thing to mention. "Oh, also, if you need anything there's button on the drawer to the left of your bed, use it if it's and emergency or if you need anything at all." She turned away as if to leave the room, but before she did she turned around. 

"Once your body is strong enough to walk properly you will eat breakfast and lunch at a dining room where all of your classmates will be; and during the middle of the day you'll have to get out of your room to socialize with your classmates, but you don't have to worry about that right now, that's only until your body isn't as weak as it is now; but it's mostly a heads up so you know what to expect when your physically a bit more well." She waved and finally left, closing the door behind her. 

Kokichi sighed, he looked down at the food, he felt sick, he didn't feel like eating or felt hungry at all, he grabbed the tray and placed it on the drawer. He looked and the book and opened it, he grabbed the pencil and immediately started to write down his observations. "I don't need this for my emotions, if I don't write down my observations I might overlook small details."

___

The hospital was strangely quiet at night, hospitals are normally loud since they're always open to help people, but this once was eerily quiet at night. 

From my observations so far the hospital seem to only has us from the killing game for patients since I've only seen rooms for us. 

Rooms that are labeled with out names when hospitals never do that, they out the name of a patient and what room they're staying in for the meantime in a digital log, they'll never go out of their way to out someones name on a door. 

Team Danganronpa, mentioned by Shuichi: untrustworthy for now. 

Information told by Shuichi: the memories from flash back lights are fake, killing game fake because it was a simulation, our personalities are fake and created. Trustworthy information since it's told by Shuichi. 

When I have to be near the others, stay clear of: Miu, Gonta, Kaito, and Maki

Others okay to be near: Kaede, Ryoma, Kirumi, Angie, Tenko? Tsumugi, Himiko, Kee-boy.

Trustworthy to be around: Shuichi

??? : Rantaro, Korekiyo, 

___

Kokichi closed the book, he couldn't think of anything else to write down at the moment. "I should write dit most things I find out, I don't want anything bad to happen while, we're all here since everything looks a bit suspicious..." He thought to himself. 

He looked at the book and turned to the drawer, he could put it in there. He leaned forward and reached the open one of the drawers; he threw the book and pencil in there without much of a thought and closed it. He'd have to get better faster so he could investigate better without having to hold an IV pole to support him. 

Chapter Text

Shuichi stared at the door that Kokichi had left through minutes ago, he sighed and made his way to his bed and sat down at the edge of it, he sat there and looked at his feet. He felt sorta stupid for not comforting the small boy when he was clearly not taking the information well like the others and himself when they were told the story, even if Kokichi was lying Shuichi could tell. He knew that he actually cared based on what he did during the game, more specifically the fifth trial. 

His hand unconsciously started to fiddle with the hem of his shirt as he thought about it more. Kokichi had sacrificed his life to end the killing game, but he was stupid enough to expose the truth and ruin his plan, which in turn continued the game. Even though in the end it wasn't real, it was extremely horrible to go through and he still felt guilty. 

He clenched his hands into fists, making his nails dig into his palm. "I should visit Kokichi in his room." He thought before a memory came into his head.

"you're alone Kokichi, and you always will be" 

His heart felt like it dropped when he remembered those words he told Kokichi after the fourth trial had taken place. "Has Kokichi been trying to push me away because of what I said before. It makes sense, I should stay away for a bit, I don't want to make him uncomfortable by being around." He thought to himself as he got up from his bed. 

"Hm. I should at least tell everyone he's awake, I don't think anyone has told them yet" Shuichi walked towards the door and quickly left his room headed to the lounge room where they normally hang out during their free time, as Shuichi made it to the double doors he hesitated. 

"But, what would they say? They'd most likely be annoyed and stay away from him. I don't want to make them worried or angry since everyone's so happy" Shuichi kept his hands on the double doors before pushing them open and walking into the room where everyone else was at already deciding to only not tell the once that would be agitated by the information. 

As Shuichi walked into the room, kaede noticed him and excused herself from a conversation with Rantaro to greet him. "Ah Shuichi, how are you? I haven't seen you all day" she asked, seeming almost worried. 

"Oh, Hi Kaede, actually now that you're here I want to tell you some news" Shuichi said, making sure not to sound nervous. 

"Oh? What is it?" 

"last night I heard some noise in the hallway, when I went to investigate it I saw Kokichi, and a few minutes ago I talked to him. I guess it wasn't a normal talk, just informing him on everything we know." 

"Oh, that's incredible, that means everyone is up now. But, I'm also guessing there's more to it, based on that nervous look on your face" 

"Ah, my face?" He asked looking surprised that she knew how he was feeling just by looking at him. 

"Yeah, you're easy to read Shuichi, but more importantly I think I know what's wrong. From the time we spent here I've heard a few negative things about Kokichi, mostly from Keebo, Himiko, Maki, Miu, tiny bit from Kaito, and a bit from you too"

"M-Me?!"

"Yeah, you probably don't realize when you say it, but it's just small things like how disputed class trials and had very questionable methods of doing things, it might not seem like much, but they're still small negative things. I haven't heard much good things, so I'm guessing you're worried about what the others will think. Am I right Shuichi?"

"Wow, that was impressive" he complimented. 

"Shuichi, you shouldn't be afraid to tell the others, if you keep it from them you're just prolonging the inevitable, they'll have to meet up with him eventually, especially at group therapy sessions. You should tell the others, maybe then some of them will talk to him and sort things out, don't be scared Shuichi."

He just smiled and nodded. "You're right Kaede"

She gave him a soft smile "of course I am" she slightly joked. "Anyways I'll go visit Kokichi, I'm sure he'll want someone to talk to, it's not pleasant being alone after everything that's happened" She said before giving Shuichi a small wave and leaving. 

Once she had left through the double doors Shuichi looked at the others, he didn't want to just go up to everyone and say Kokichi was awake, he could probably tell someone who doesn't hate him a lot, because they if they talk to him and get to know him more (since in the killing game he was a bit reserve and didn't really befriend anyone, so no one really knows what he's really like,) and tell the others he's not so bad and that they should just get to know him better. 

The only people he could think of that probably  didn't hate his guts, were Gonna, Ryoma, Rantaro, Kaede, possibly Kirumi, Angie, and Korekiyo? 

Shuichi sighed, he could talk to Gonta, he died before knowing that Kokichi had laughed and said he didn't care after his execution, and even when the others tried to tell him what he did after Gonta had died Gonta would just disagree and told them to be friends with him. 

Shuichi quickly made his way to Gonta who was currently alone looking into his insect enclosure, it looked like the one he had during the game, but unlike that one, this one had a small caterpillar inside. It was given to Gonta by the staff of Team Danganronpa. 

Shuichi walked up next to Gonta, who quickly looked at him and gave him a bright smile "Oh Shuichi! Hello, did you come to see Gonta's bug?"

"Ah no, but your insect does look nice Gonta, I just need to tell you something very important" 

"Hm, what does Shuichi need to tell Gonta?"

"Well, I wanted to inform you that Kokichi's awake, and It would be nice if you talked to him"

Gonta when from curious and happy real quick."oh, Kokichi awake? That amazing! Gonta's so happy!" 

"Oh, but um Gonta, I don't want you to tell anyone else, the only other person that knows is Kaede, so you can talk to her. You can't tell anyone because I don't know if they'll react positively"

"Yes Gonta understand, true gentleman never share others secrets. Gonta also understand Shuichi's worry, other friends not say nice things about Kokichi, so Gonta understand that they might be not happy if told information"

"Yes, thank you for understanding Gonta"

Gonta smiled sheepishly "oh, no need to thank Gonta, Gonta just understand is all"

"Right. Anyways Kokichi is in his room Kaede left to go visit him, so I'm sure you can join them or wait until Kaede comes back to talk to him yourself. 

"Gonta will go right away with friends, the more the merrier. Anyway Gonta go not to talk to friend Kokichi" and with that he quickly made his way through the double doors looking excited. 

Shuichi sighed "that went better than I predicted" he mumbled to himself. "I'll visit Kokichi later when he's alone. S-so I can try to know him better."

Chapter Text

He didn't even know he was staring into the far distance until he was suddenly brought back when he heard the sound of a door opening and closing; Kokichi turned his head away from the wall he had been staring at for a few minutes to look at the person who just entered his room. 

Kaede.

"Wow, I didn't expect you to come here, what's the special occasion? Did my secret organization peak your interest? Are you finally gonna accept my offer from the game?" He asked, bringing his hand to the side of his mouth almost looking like he was trying to project his voice.

"Kokichi, we both know your organization isn't real" Kaede said jokingly with a nervous smile, she already knew he was lying since Shuichi had told him his memories weren't real. 

Kokichi froze "oh yeah, they're not rea-" 

"Awe you caught me! Yep, it was a lie, Nishishi." He said with a bright smile of playfulness, which in turn made Kaede loose the nervousness in her smile. 

"You seem to be doing well, you don't seem to be in any pain... Your body doesn't hurt right? When some of the others woke up that said their bodies felt sore, do you feel okay? Just want to make sure" she said with a slightly worried look on her face this time. 

Kokichi moved his arms around and shook his head "I'm super duper strong, so my body wouldn't get sore so easily." He said playfully. 

"Haha, that doesn't make sense" She said, feeling relived that he didn't seem to be in any pain as far as she knew. 

"You're right, I'm actually in excruciating pain! But that's a lie!" 

Kaede smiled softly "I'm glad you and everyone else is okay. I've heard a few negative things about you when some of the others woke up, honestly I was probably a worried about nothing, you were probably just scared, right?"

Kokichi stared at her for a few seconds before quickly shaking his head. "No, I wasn't scared, I was actually have so much fun, the game was super duper entertaining. Did you forget that I'm a super evil supreme leader?" He asked confidently. 

She watered at him blankly for a few seconds, before she could respond Kokichi fixed his mistake that he didn't notice until he had said it. "The first part was true. I was kidding about the second part, you should've seen the look on your face!" He said quickly. 

The girl averted her eyes and just nodded. "Yeah, sure" she replied with. 

Kokichi pouted "you're so meeeaaan, you obviously don't believe me Kaede"

She chuckled "I mean, you said it yourself, you're a liar after all" she joked. 

"really? I don't remember saying anything like that" he said playfully, pretending to be annoyed. 

"Yeah right, you definitely didn-"

Before she could finish her sentence the door opened, and another person entered the room with a bright smile when they saw Kokichi sitting there, awake. 

Gonta walked closer to the bed Kokichi was currently sitting up on; the smaller boy's smile quickly faded he looked slightly displeased in seeing Gonta. 

Kokichi stared at Gonta with wide eyes for a few seconds, but he quickly put on a mask, he smiled "Oh Gonta! You're finally here, I was waiting for you to come! Kaede had been super mean to me, WAHHHH SHE CALLED ME A SHRIVELED UP PIECE OF SHRIMP!" Fake tears fell from his face freely as he balled his hands into fists as he pretended to cry. 

"Just kidding"

"Hm, Kokichi should no joke like that, Gonta really think Kaede did something not nice for a second." The taller boy said nervously. 

Kaede smiled "No it's fine, I actually found it pretty funny, " A shriveled up piece of shrimp"" she chuckled "anyways, I'll be going now, I'm sure you and gonte need to talk about... A few things" she said the last part nervously before leaving the room. 

Determined to not talk about anything from their time in the game, Kokichi changed the subject. "Gonta, what happened while I was asleep? I'm sure I missed a few things right?" He asked, desperately wanting to know what happened while he wasn't there, he wanted to know if everyone was well. 

"Hm, when Gonta wake up he saw others from last class trials, Kaede and Rantaro become good friend! Kirumi make good food for others and is happy! Ryoma like being alone at first but slowly make friends with others. Angie And Tenko good friends, Gonta don't know much about how Korekiyo is doing. OH! And Miu forgive Gonta too!" Gonta said all of it with so much happiness it made Kokichi feel something weird, but he ignored it. 

Kokichi stared at Gonta, being uncharacteristically silent. Gonta continued. "Hm, after while Kaito wake up from sleep, he was super happy that everyone alive! Then Shuichi, Himiko and Making wake up. Hm, Gonta know nothing about Tsumugi or Keebo."

Kokichi nodded, smiling brightly "Woww, thanks Gonta, you're so reliable, you should work for me, how does that sound?" Kokichi asked with his arms moving up behind his head. 

"Hm, no thanks, Gonta doesn't want to, sorry. Gonta just doesn't want to repeat mistakes" he said nervously. 

Kokichi giggled "Nishishi, don't worry Gonta, I have too many members already, I don't need anymore." Kokichi realized that he mentioned something that wasn't real, but didn't bother to correct it this time.

Gonta nodded "does Kokichi news anything else from Gonta?" He asked almost nervously

The smaller boy shook his head "nope! I think I'm good, you can go now, I actually feel super tried, and need some beauty rest."

Gonta nodded before he quickly went to the door, once he was at the doorframe he waved "Goodnight Kokichi" he said before leaving. 

Kokichi immediately opened his drawer and grabbed the pencil and book, he quickly opened the book and wrote down the vague information he was given by Gonta. 

One thing that he wanted to know about were Keebo and Tsumugi. Where were they? Gonta said he didn't know anything about them. Kokichi then remembered the night he woke up, when he looked through everyone's doors to their room. He remembered that he never saw a room for the two. 

Odd... 

Chapter Text

As kokichi just sat there in silence he thought about Shuichi, he honestly didn't know how to feel about the detective; during the game he felt drawn to him in some type of way, the detective was always so fun to tease, something that he never did with anyone else, but he never knew what it was he was feeling during the killing game. But once he was under that hydraulic press he somewhat knew what his feelings were. 

He liked Shuichi in some type of way, he realized that right when he was about to die on the hydraulic press, it was like he didn't want to acknowledge his feelings since he was nervous it would interfere with his plan in the long run. Probably, he didn't even know himself. 

He shook his head, when he felt his cheeks slowly becoming hot the more he thought about the detective. 'I probably don't like him. Maybe I want to be his friend? Or maybe I just wanted someone to care; Nah definitely not that...' He thought before taking a deep breath. 

Everything so far after waking up felt so new, so different, he felt like he was dreaming. (He hoped he never woke up if that was the case.) So far everyone he's seen since waking up have been nothing but kind to him and he couldn't believe it was real. 

'Shuichi said I'd always be alone, that no one wanted to be near me. So why the hell does he want to talk to me now? What did I deserve for him wanting to talk to me in any way?!' Kokichi scratched his head desperately as if annoyed and nervous that he didn't even know the answers to his own questions. 

As he scratched his head messing up his hair even more than it already was in the process a single thought suddenly came to mind, he sat sat up straight noting down that he didn't even realize he had hunched forward. 'What happened after I died? Did my plan work?!' He thought hopefully. Yes, he was so distracted that he hadn't thought about what happened after his plan. The first thing he thought was his plan succeeding and ending the killing game with his death that wouldn't have had much of an impact on the rest. 

But after a few seconds his thoughts suddenly gave him horrible things to think about. 'What if the plan didn't work, and all, what if they somehow found the truth and Kaitlyn was executed?' He hook his head. 'No, it definitely worked, it was impossible to solve and Kaito would've been on script the entire time.'

Kokichi smiled, even though he knew it was all fake it still affected him, and he cussed it was the same for the others, so if his pants worked it would've caused less suffering. Kaito, Maki, Tsumugi, Kiibo, Himiko and Shuichi wouldn't have to see more of their friends die, and wouldn't have to keep suffering. His death wouldn't even matter since he was hated, so it wouldn't have effected them negatively. 

'I bet they were happy, relived even.' His mind made up a situation where Kaito revealed himself after monokuma had voted incorrectly and made the others vote for the astronaut, ending the killing game.

Kaito would laugh, give them a thumbs up and tell them he would never die and leave them. 

Maki would let out a laugh saying something like, "Finally that asshole is gone now" with a deadpan. 

Himiko would smile and laughing victoriously saying she helped either stupid magic or something. 

Tsumugi would probably just smile and make some reference to a hated character dying in an anime she watched. 

Kiibo would say something like. "Served him right"

And Shuichi would sigh and be glad it wasn't Kaito but Kokichi dead.

Kokichi let out a laugh, he didn't know why but he did. Kokichi grabbed his book that he left on his lap and write down how he thought they would've felt when he died. He made little doodles of them smiling or laughing. As he write and wrote about how much better everyone definitely felt after he died he suddenly stopped, he didn't even know why he was writing this, he should be using this book for important things, not whatever the hell he was doing.

Even though he told himself that he flipped to a new page and drew his beloved Shuichi, he smiled as he drew and added smaller details like Shuichi's eyelashes and looked pretty. Kokichi smiled and his drawing once he was done, he couldn't capture the true beauty of the detective, but no one probably could either way. 

Kokichi stared at the drawing for longer before putting it away into the drawer of the bedside table, he laid back down on the bed his back slightly hurting and he laid down, he let out a sigh and turned to look at the door. 

He felt uneasy, everything didn't make sense, the disappearance of the two classmates Kiibo and Tsumugi. Kiibo made somewhat sense to him, the boy, girl? The robot could've been a simulation, something made within the game and not actually really in the physical realm. But even if they were real, they wouldn't even need a hospital room. And they probably didn't need therapy either, probably. 

But Tsumugi didn't make sense, there was no reason for her not to be here when everyone else who had died and probably lived were here, so what wasn't she-

Kokichi immediately cut that thought off. 

He never knew who the mastermind was during the game and even after it. But the more he thought about it the more nervous he got. 

'is it Tsumugi? Was she the mastermind, or is the mastermind here and took her away because she knew. What if everything here isn't real like everything else in the game? It could still be anyone since everyone is still alive. Would we have to kill again...' Kokichi's mind raced with possibilities, anything was possible, the game felt so real, so what's to say this wasn't real either. 

He had to investigate, he had to know what was going on, he couldn't trust his classmates since they could be planning something. 'what if they're making us put our gaurd down and strike at the right moment? Fuck, what the hell is going on.'

Kokichi got the bowl of soup and was given a little while ago and got up from bed, he slowly made his way to the bathroom that was connected to the room and threw the contents on the bowl into the toilet before flushing it down. He slowly made his way back onto the bed and placed the bowl back onto the bedside table. 

He couldn't trust anyone he didn't know, so that nurse could've done something with that food, like drug it, he didn't know but he wanted someone trustworthy to do things for him, like Gonta, but he guessed that if he told Gonta to do something for him he would disagree scared that Kokichi had some sort of plan or someone might get mad that he's bossing the friendly giant around. But the possibility for Gonta declining getting him food was basically zero. 

Kokichi could also ask Shuichi, but the former Detective might not be happy with it, he might get mad. Wait. No he won't, so far he's only been kind, so he probably would also agree. 

"Or I can just get own food" Kokichi told himself. "I trust myself wayyy more than people who could be pretending to be kind to me. I can't let my guard down." He convinced himself. 

'i need food to have the energy to investigate things. I'm not even feeling hungry, the thought of food makes me wanna fucking hurl. But I'll have to bear with it, just for now' He thought. 

As he sat in bed he looked around as if it would help him find any clues on anything, but as expect he didn't see anything that would've been useful. Starting to feel restless he got out of the bed and left the room, he looked around the hallway the heard. 

The hallways were illuminated a color of orange and yellow as the sun started to go down, it made Kokichi laugh when he remembered Gonta told him "goodnight" when it was even nighttime yet, 'Hehe that idiot' He thought nicely. 

He heard loud talking coming from behind double door at the end of the hallway, he guessed that's where everyone met and talked to one another. Taking this as his chance he made his way as fast as he could to the room of the most suspicious person he could think of. 

Rantaro. 

The green haired boy was always a mystery to Kokichi, he never knew his "Ultimate Talent" and he knew a lot of things during the game that not everyone knew. Like the Ultimate hunt. It could be because he's the mastermind and probably wanted to be seen as cool since he knew more than the others. Which is was Kokichi would definitely do himself if he was the big bad mastermind. 

Once he made it to the door of the room he opened the door and immediately scanned the room with his eyes. Everything was like his and Shuichi's rooms, nothing out of the ordinary, but that might be the point. 

The fist place he checked was the bathroom connected to the room, but to his disappointment he didn't find anything of importance. Then he want to the bedside table and opened the drawer, he found a book similar to his, though the outside was a light green unlike his book that had a light purple outside. Man, the people who gave them the books knew why they were doing. 

When he opened the book all he saw were notes on how rantaro felt, basically his feelings everyday since the pages were dated for every single day. 

Kokichi sighed, of course, the book was originally given to write down feelings, not write down things that were plans and evidence. 

Kokichi closed the book, not caring to read any of it since he was in the middle of doing something way more important. Finding clues on what the hell was going on. 

He threw the book back into the drawer and closed it, he looked around the room thoroughly, under the bed, under the sheets, under the pillow, but the door, under the mattress. Literally anywhere anything could hide. 

Kokichi had spend a decent amount of time searching, even looking at placed he already checked. He sighed when he noticed the room had gotten darker because of the sun leaving down the horizon. 

Knowing that he couldn't stay and keep looking he got out of the room and made his way back to his room. 

Kokichi made it back to his bed, opened the drawer, took out his book and wrote down a list of the most to least suspicious people in his eyes. 

1. Rantaro (Knew too much) 

2. Kiibo (Robot. Beep Boop) 

3. Tsumugi (Easy to forget, blends in because of plainess) 

4. Shuichi (Being the reliable one to gain trust from us?) 

5. Kaede (Too nice even in horrible situations) 

6. Kaito (Also too nice, also too dumb and uplifting) 

7. Gonta (Could be faking dumbness) 

8. Miu (Programmer, could've made simulator. But dumb enough to accidentally out herself) 

9. Maki (Assassin, so likes people being killed?)

10. Kirumi (Also too reliable, but not that much. Motherly figure to gain trust?) 

11. Korekiyo (Tall and Scary. Probably to see humans reaction to killing game?) 

12. Ryoma (Tiny, could sneak away and so things because he's so tiny. Ant?) 

13. Angie (Weirdo, probably likes seeing people suffer and die too?) 

14. Tenko (doesn't blend in, no trust gained. Part of plan?) 

15. Himiko (Dumb, too lazy. Probably not) 

Once he had finished he out the book back in his drawer and closed it. He would have to investigate next time. He needed sleep so he could check the next accessible suspicious person's room on his list. 

With that, Kokichi laid down on his side, pulling the covers over his body and closed his eyes, where he slowly fell asleep. 

Chapter Text

Darkness. 

The world was bathed in black. No color, no sound, nothing, but himself. 

Kokichi looked around the darkness, he took slow steps and looked everywhere; he didn't even know if he was moving as he took cautious steps forward in the abyss that was everywhere. 

As he walked he realized his hospital gown was somehow bow replaced with the straight jacket like clothing he wore in the killing game. His brain didn't see the sudden change in clothing as weird so he shrugged it off as something normal and continued to venture in the darkness. 

Step. Step. Step

His steps were the only sound he could hear as it echoed loudly in the quiet space. Even if there was no sound other than the loud echo that emitted from him when his feet made contact with the floor, it felt like his ears started to play with him as he heard a faint ringing and static in his ears if he focused on the silence enough. 

Suddenly the world quickly changed from the black abyss to a familiar place; the trial grounds. Kokichi didn't notice the sudden change in scenery as his eyes were fixated on the person on the opposite side of the podium he was standing at. 

(?) Stared at him and Kokichi frowned, they seemed familiar but he couldn't put his finger on it, their face was obscure, Kokichi could know who it was by the clothing or anything else but he couldn't , (?) Pointed an accusatory finger at him and spoke

"You're alone Kokichi, and you always will be" the voice sounded muffled and unidentified, Kokichi knew who told him that but he couldn't figure out or remember who. 

"I know" He replied with. Kokichi felt confused, he didn't say that, but way his mouth moved on its own to respond. 

(?) Smiled at his reply "what did you do?" They asked the smiled quickly turning into a frown. 

Kokichi's body moved on its own as he turned around to see someone else, they were tall with long crazy been hair. They smiled at him and waved before blood deeper down their abdomen. 

(?) Spoke from behind him "How could you do something like that to #####" they stated without any emotion in their voice. 

... 

Kokichi opened his eyes, his body felt paralyzed with fear. After what felt like hours but in actuality was a few seconds he finally turned from resting on his side to on his back. He thought back to whatever nightmare that was, he thought about how weird and somewhat unsettling it was. 

Not wanting to think about it anymore, he quickly pushed any thoughts of the nightmare aside to think about things he deemed more important at the moment. It was just some dumb nightmare, he didn't have time to dwell on it any longer than he already had. 

He kicked off the blankets from his body, making it slide off the bed. He laid there for a few minutes staring at the ceiling blankly without thought before a knock on the door brought him back to reality. He mentally chastised himself for not doing anything productive but instead looking at the ceiling dumbly. 

He sat up and looked at the door with a raised brow. "Who is it~" he sung out loud. 

It was silent for a second before he got a nervous response from the other side of the door. "A-ah, it's just me, Shuichi. I just wanted to bring you something to eat. Can I come in?" He responded with. 

Kokichi hummed, he didn't notice how heavy his body felt until everything suddenly felt lighter when he heard the voice of his beloved Shuichi. "Wow, really? You're so kind Shuichi, I might just cry out if happiness!" He yelled cheerfully. 

Taking that as a yes, Shuichi slowly opened the door just enough for his to slip in; he closed the door behind him just as slow as when he opened it. Kokichi noticed the tray that had a bowl of soup. 

Shuichi slowly made his way towards the bed Kokichi was on; he sat on the chair near the bed and handed the tray over to Kokichi. 

The smaller boy felt his face heat up as he was given the food, because of how kind Shuichi was to even think about getting food for him. but Kokichi payed no mind to it. Shuichi is nice, he only did it to be nice, nothing else. 

Kokichi let out a deep breath and gave Shuichi a bright smile "Wow Shuichi, how rude of you. You don't think I can get my own food, do you think I'm too weak to do anything because I woke up not so long ago? WAHHHH! THAT'S SO MEAN SHUICHI!" He sniffed softly before letting crocodile tears fall down his face.

After only a few seconds he quickly smiled, the tears quickly disappearing. "Just kidding! Thank you Shuichi!" He honestly was thankful since he was starting to get hungry, and his body felt sore from moving around. especially after yesterday when he searched Rantaro's room; where he pushed his body a little too much while looking for clues, even though he was supposed to be in bed resting. So he wouldn't have been able to get his own food without his body hurting. 

Shuichi smiled at his thanks "Ah, no problem. Um," he paused averted his eyes, and his hand reached up to nervously scratch his cheek. "If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask me" he said with soft tone that made Kokichi smile. 

But he quickly replaced the smiled with a cheeky grin "awe thanks Shuichi! I've always wanted a personal servant to do things for me, Yippie!" He cheered. 

Shuichi's eyes quickly looked back at kokichi with softness as he smiled at the smaller boy's joy. 

The two made small talk as Kokichi ate his soup, it wasn't a lot since Shuichi knew his body still had to be slowly reintroduced to food being consumed. 

"Awe man, are you serious. Are you sure I can't get moreeee?" Kokichi asked, looking at the empty bowl with an angry pout. 

"Yes, I'm sure." Shuichi responded. "It's okay Kokichi, everyone else had to to this, even me. It isn't so bad" he said trying to convince the boy that it wasn't as bad as he thought not would be. 

Kokichi's pout quickly disappeared, now replaced with a smile "okay! I'll believe you. But only because you're my Beloved, okay Shuichi?"

The boy in question smiled nervously, his face turning a slight pink at being called Kokichi's beloved, before slowly nodding at the former leader. He knew that Kokichi was probably just joking around by using that word with him, but he couldn't deny that he felt something nice whenever he did. 

Chapter Text

"Shuichi?" Kokichi asked as he turned his head to look at the boy in question. 

"Yes Kokichi?" The other responded and faced Kokichi, the smaller boy didn't smile nor frown as his lips were formed in a straight line. 

"What happened after I died. You know, in the game" It was a serious question, nothing hinted to any jokes or play around in it. Noticing how serious it sounded Kokichi quickly smiled and gave a small laugh. 

"I just want to see what happened after my little plan, was Monokuma mad?" He said with his right hand cupped to the side of his mouth as if trying to project his voice to Shuichi who wasn't even far. 

"Monokuma was mad but..." Shuichi stopped and averted his eyes, looking defeated. 

"Buuuuut?" Kokichi pushed. 

"Um, I kinda ruined you plan. Sorry" Shuichi said quickly as hid voice was much more softer when he spoke, like when he first stared in the killing game, at least that's what Kokichi thought he sounded like. 

"Huh?" Kokichi cocked his head to the right in confused. "Hey, tell me what happened my beloved" Kokichi said playfully with a smirk. He noticed how Shuichi's cheeks turned a bit pink at the words "my beloved" making Kokichi feel somewhat proud in himself. 

"Well I solved the case. But when I realized what your plan was, a-and why Kaito was playing along I tried to salvage the situation and tried to make the others vote for you instead of Kaito. But Kaito showed himself, scared that we'd get punished. So I ruined you plan in the end." Shuichi said too quick for Kokichi to immediately process, so after a few seconds Kokichi realized what he had confessed. 

"So, Kaito got executed?" He asked, not sounding serious at all. 

Shuichi silently nodded, looking nervous. 

"Wow! What an idiot! He got himself killed just like that, and I thought he said he was gonna live!" He said, sounding playful and rude.

But in actually he was livid.

'why the fuck did that idiot do that?! I know it isn't real now, but doing that was totally unnecessary since all it did was hurt them more, they could've ended the game with a meaningless death instead of one that made them more depressed and traumatized. Fuck, what went wrong? Did I leave some type of important evidence that was able to help Shuichi solve the case? Why did that idiot show himself when Shuichi was trying to salvage it?!'

"Kokichi?"

"Yes Shuichi?" He replied with as he smiled happily. 

"You shouldn't joke like that, okay?" He said, playing with his hair a bit as he looked at the smaller boy nervously

"Why should I, you aren't Kirumi or my mom" he said playfully. 

"But still, it's kinda hard to think everyone is alive, but I'm happy everyone is here." Shuichi placed a hand on Kokichi's hand that was resting on the bed, a gentle smile adorning his lips. "Even you, okay? So please don't joke about stuff like that, because even though it wasn't real, it still hurts to think about."

"Psh! Fine! But not because you asked, but because I don't want to be beaten up by the others when they see me, I know they be angry if I joked like that. Anyways, I need my beauty rest, so leave at once peasant!" 

Shuichi giggled softly making Kokichi's heart skip a beat. 

"Alright then, but I honestly don't think you need beauty rest, I think you're already beau- I mean, just rest up, you'll need it." Shuichi quickly left the room his face cheeks red and his face looking down with embarrassment. 

Once he was gone Kokichi took a deep breath and cleared his throat. It was way too obvious what Shuichi was about to say and it made Kokichi want to hear it again,but without Shuichi interrupting himself. 

Kokichi looked down at his hands, remembering how warm Shuichi's hand felt when he gently placed it over his, "even me, huh?"

'Shuichi said that he was happy that everyone was alive, then after he said that he said "Even you, okay?" Does that mean that even though he's happy I'm alive he singled me out on that sentence because he wanted me to knew that even though I was an asshole that he's happy I'm alive? Or does it mean that even though he still hates me he's still happy that I'm alive? Ughh, I don't get iiiiiitt'

He kicked his feet around in anger that he didn't know the answer. 

________

Shuichi was so embarrassed, he had almost called Kokichi beautiful. He didn't know why he was acting like this, he even put his hand over the other's hand and it felt so right.

He made his way to the main room where everyone was talking to each other in groups or where some people were alone, he saw kaede on her own reading a book as she was seated on a bean bag and he though it would be nice to talk to her for a little. 

He looked up from her book "Shuichi, what happened? You're cheeks are red" she asked as she got up from where she was seated to touch his cheeks "they're a little warm."

"Ah, I'm not sick or anything, I was just with Kokichi" 

"Kokichi? Did he say something to embarrass you that made your face all red?" She asked as she put a bookmark on the page she was on and closed the book, throwing it on the bean bag she was on a second ago. 

"N-no, I just. I almost said something embarrassing to him"

"Hm? What'd you say, I'm curious now!"

"Ah, well I almost called him beautiful."

"Oh?" She smirked. 

"No! N-Not like that. He told me to leave saying he needed his beauty rest and I said that I honestly thought he didn't need it because he was already beauty. Well I did stopped myself before I finished saying he was beautiful, but he obviously knew what I was going to say!" 

"Really? Wow~"

"Hey, i-I said it wasn't like that!"

She giggled "yeah, I know, I heard you. But seeing you so embarrassed is so funny. Anyways, do you actually think he's beautiful~ or so you think it was just something that you didn't mean"

"I-I mean," he tried to pull down his hat to hide his embarrassment but quickly realized he didn't have it, so he played with his hair a but. 

"Really? You meant it didn't you?" She teased. 

"How did you-"

"Come on Shuichi, you can't hide it with that look." He gave her a confused look "Well you look so embarrassed, it obvious what the answer was."

"Am I THAT obvious?"

She nodded. 

He sighed

They stayed silent for a few seconds because Kaede spoke again. 

"Do you have a crush Shuichi?"

"H-Huh? O-on whom?!"

"Duh! On Kokichi!"

"K-Kokichi?!"

"Honestly Shuichi, before he even woke up you would ask the doctors you saw monitoring him if he was okay."

"I was just worried, I would've done it for anyone else."

"Yeah I know. But you even visited his room once in a while when you were alone. I saw how you nervously snuck out of the main room, making sure no one noticed before you left."

"How are you sure I went to Kokichi's room?" He asked nervously. 

"I saw you leave, you don't think that I followed you?"

"H-Huh?! Why did you follow me?"

"Shuichi, they way you left was so suspicious, I was honestly worried that something happened. I saw you entering Kokichi's room, and even heard when you spoke to him, hoping he'd wake up!"

"Why were you listening?"

"I was curious!"

He sighed "H-How much do you know?"

"I only followed you that one time, I only heard a bit before leaving, I didn't want to be nosy. But after that I immediately knew where you where going when you left the main room like that"

He averted his eyes, looking at the floor as he played with his hair. "Tell me more"

"Well, for instance I heard you today ask one of the staff that was going to bring Kokichi his door if you could bring it to him"

"You s-saw that?!"

"No, I heard it. It was in the hallway where all the rooms are. The hallway echos, so when I I was getting ready to go to the main room I heard you around the end of the hallway talking to the staff. "

"I-I just thought he wouldn't trust someone he didn't know" he whispered. 

"Well if you do have a crush on him you don't have to tell me. I wanna know, but I don't HAVE to know. It's your choice Shuichi. If your confused about your feelings you should just ask yourself a few things. Would you want to hold hands with him, kiss him, or other things like hugs, or cuddles"

Shuichi kept his eyes on the floor. 'would I want to hold Kokichi's hands? Kiss him? Hug him or cuddle? I honestly wouldn't mind.'

"Kaede? Just out of curiosity, why do you think I like, Kokichi? Everything you gave as proof could just be me worried about a friend."

"Easy. Because you haven't shown that kind of concern for anyone else. Remember how some of the others, not just Kokichi were asleep when you woke up? Like Kirumi, Gonta, and Kaito; those three were also asleep along with Kokichi in their rooms. But who did you visit more?"

"..." His checked turned red as he thought of the answer. "K-Kokichi"

"I have been told how much of a pain he was during the game, and not a lot of people are fond of him, they said they hated him during the game. People like Maki and Himiko who lived longer hated kokichi more than someone like me and Rantaro who weren't alive long in the game to see him enough to hate him. You were one of the people who live throughout the whole thing, but when you woke up you were happy that every single person was okay. And even though he was a pain in the game and more hated than the other people who were also asleep you visited Kokichi more." She explained, she looked so happy to explain why she thought her shy friend Shuichi was in love. 

"Your questions..." He said a few seconds after her explanation. "If I was able to, I think I would do those things, kiss, hold hands, hug, cuddle. But how do I know that these things other than the kissing means I like him?"

"Well, would you do it with anyone else?"

"Anyone else?" Shuichi looked around the room at the others, though after a few minutes his face was as red as a beet. "N-No. I can't imagine doing any of those with anyone else." He confessed.

Kaede smiled. 

"I-I think I might actually, like k-Kokichi" he admitted. "Do you think he might like me too?"

"I honestly don't know, there is a chance and it's really slim. But I don't know, it's probably not slim, I wouldn't now since I was wasn't in the game for long to know that much. I honestly just wanted you to finally realize your crush"

""Finally realize"?"

"Shuichi, your like an open book, your emotions towards someone is easy to read"

He blushed "really?"

"Yeah. But now that you know you don't feel confused, right."

"I guess you're right. I've always been confused on how I felt about kokichi. Thank you Kaede"

"No problem Shuichi." She said with a soft smile on her lips.

________

Once Shuichi was gone, and when he was done kicking his legs around in frustration; Kokichi grabbed his notebook and wrote down what Shuichi had told him about his plan. He knew there was not point in writing down how he failed, but he just wanted to write it down since there nothing else to do. 

He told Shuichi to go away because after learning his plan failed and he made them suffer more, he didn't want to see him. Shuichi suffered more because he did something that made Shuichi able to solve the case, making Kaito die, ultimately making them suffer more as the result. 

Chapter Text

He didn't know what to do now. When Kaede told him how he felt for Kokichi was probably love, it felt right to Shuichi; but now he didn't know how to react to this news, since he would definitely almost immediately make his new found feelings towards the other boy extremely obvious. 

So after kaede had left him alone to think things over. He just sat there silently. He just felt so happy that he felt like just bathing in the feeling alone would feel nice. 

And it did. 

It felt very nice to sit alone and think about Kokichi and his crush on him, he didn't think he'd ever be able to look at the smaller boy in the eyes again since he would probably be too embarrassed to do so. 

But he obviously didn't want to stay away from the other boy just to avoid something dumb like embarrassment. 

"I should get him a gift or something..." He mumbled to himself, making his face feel warm and his cheeks turn a rosy pink.

He looked down at his feet as he thought of something he could give to the smaller boy; but after a minute he shook his head. 'Even if I did think of something, where would I even get it? I doubt the staff would just give me something just because I asked...'

Shuichi looked at the other people in the room, watching as they stood around, making conversations with the other people who were in the room. 

Korekiyo was sitting alone in silence, watching over the other people. Shuichi was told that when he woke up and was told everything he had to be separated from everyone for a while to make sure he didn't hurt himself or anyone either since he didn't take the news well, probably especially because he couldn't believe his sister wasn't real. 

Ryoma was talking to Kirumi. Ever since Shuichi had woken up he noticed that they had a good friendship, ryoma seemingly didn't believe he was alone anymore since everyone told him that they were him friends and that he didn't need to be alone. Kirumi also was the one to hang around with him the most. Shuichi would sometimes even hear her apologize to him for what she did to him while in the game, but he would always reassure her, telling her that it didn't matter now. 

Kaede was sitting next to Rantaro by the table where everyone ate. Shuichi didn't get to see rantaro when he woke up just like some of the other people, but he was told that Rantaro had a hard time believing everything was over. Which was understandable, especially for Rantaro. 

Shuichi spotted Himiko with Tenko and Angie, those three never seemed to really seperate and were almost never apart from each other, well mostly Tenko and Himiko; Angie would sometimes like to be alone or talk to the others. 

Tenko had stopped with the whole degenerate male thing and didn't seem to mind being around them as much as in the game, but she still didn't seem very fond of them, opting to hang out with the girls instead. 

Himiko show her emotions very well, Shuichi was honestly happy that she could be with Angie and Tenko again. He remembered when Himiko first saw the two girls again; she had immediately started crying and hugged them, giving no intention of letting them go. 

Angie seemed okay, she acted like she did in the game but just a bit less energetic, she was still happy and loud, and she still believed in Atua. 

Yeah... 

Even after being told that everything wasn't real, their memories and the game itself some people didn't really change their personality and beliefs even though they weren't real. 

Like Angie, she still believed in Atua saying that Atua was watching over them, which is why none of them were hurt and why nothing was real in the first place. 

Meanwhile someone like Miu calmed down a bit. While she did still make some adult jokes and was still loud and proud; she did it less often, only doing it when the mood was gloomy only to cheer the others up. Well, while she mostly cut down on her loudness and dirty jokes, she still used vulgar language when upset at someone or something. 

Shuichi also had noticed from the time he's been awake for that how people acted weren't the only things that changed. But also their mental health had changed, obviously. 

Rantaro didn't like being by himself, or being alone with just one other person in fear something might happen to him, which is why his favorite place is where everyone meets up since tthere' lot of people around. 

Kaede had told him that she probably couldn't look at a piano the same anymore, and that it would somewhat terrified her as she would remember her horrible execution. But luckily there was no pianos anywhere here. 

Ryoma didn't hate a water in it's entirety, he just now hated large bodies of water as it reminded him of when he was drowned by Kirumi. 

In the topic of Kirumi she seemed okay, just saying that while sharp things and heights would remind he if her own execution, she wasn't scared of them. But everyone had told her that if she was feeling scared to talk to them. 

Angie almost always steered away from dark places, she said that while she was scared, Atua wouldn't let anything happen and would protect her. 

Tenko was terrified of small spaces and the dark, and whenever she was afraid she would go to kadede or Himiko for comfort. 

Shuichi didn't know about Korekiyo, he always seemed to prefer being alone and just watched the others carefully and silently. 

Mui didn't like things around her neck and was afraid of Gonta for a little while, staying away from him and ignoring him before she slowly started to get rid of that fear. 

Gonta was almost depressed that something that looked like a bug and stabbed and killed him, which made him cautious around them for a little while. But because it was gonta he quickly said he forgave the bugs. 

Kaito didn't really seem upset, saying that he was happy about how he had died in the game. He was always upbeat and always tried to help the others with their struggles. 

Maki never showed how she felt so Shuichi didn't know how everything had affected her mentally. 

Himiko on the other hand obviously showed that she didn't want to be alone, scared that the others would die and she would be alone. 

Shuichi sighed. He wondered how Kokichi was affected with the situation, would he pipe down? Or would he act the same as in the game? Did he have some type of trauma from the game?

He got up from where he was sitting, deciding that he'll go back to his room to rest since he hasn't been able to get a lot of sleep since he had woken up. 

He walked out the through the double doors and headed to his room. 

He would talk to Kokichi later. He just need to try to get rest. 

Chapter Text

Once in his room Shuichi immediately went to lay on his bed, he needed as much rest as he could for tomorrow since the Therapist was going to visit again. Since the woman who spoke to them only visited once a week she was going to speak to Kokichi for the first time. 

Shuichi let out a small giggle as he thought of what Kokichi in therapy would look like. The smaller boy would definitely not say anything that'll give away how he felt about the situation he was in. 

After thinking about it for a few minutes Shuichi thought of what the group therapy sessions with everyone would look like. The group sessions were mostly so everyone would see the "killers" from the game in a better light, so they wouldn't be ignored or hated by the others since it would definitely effect them emotionally and mentally. 

Shuichi really wanted Kokichi to talk about his feelings, so everyone could understand him and not hate him as much when they're ready to forgive him for his actions. 

Shuichi didn't want Kokichi to be alone doing everything on his own like in the game. Shuichi knew Kokichi had good intentions when kaito told everyone about the plan during the fifth trial, and also when he saw the former Leader's room. 

He couldn't deny how his heart skipped a beat when he saw his picture above the words "Trustworthy?". Although it was obvious that Kokichi wasn't exactly sure himself if he thought he trusted the former detective, it still made him happy that out of everyone he was at least seen as a bit trustworthy to someone who probably didn't trust anyone. 

He knew he needed to catch up on sleep, so he hesitantly closed his eyes, he almost immediately fell asleep as his eyes quickly felt heavy, and once they closed he was already in a deep slumber, exhaustion hitting him. 

... 

... 

... 

His golden eyes opened and he looked around. He felt like he had a spitting headache that hurt but at the same time felt dull with almost no pain. 

He bit his lip as he recognized the school halls, nature overtaking the structure made by mankind as grass grew from the floor and vines decorated the walls and ceilings. 

He felt like he couldn't breathe, why was he here again? He didn't want it to happen again. Not again, he didn't want to see people die. 

His breath quickened, he felt sweat slowly creeping down his neck making him shiver with fear. He collapsed to the ground, hugging his knees tightly. 

After a few seconds his eyes traveled up and was met with a blue door, classroom A. He stood up and opened the door. He saw Kokichi sitting on a desk, who looked very happy and chipper as usual. 

He was talking, but Shuichi didn't understand what he was saying what was he saying? 

"Shuichi~" The smaller boy said, Shuichi quickly realized that he could understand him, his words didn't sound like soft mumbles now. 

Shuichi couldn't respond, he wanted to; but no voice came out, not even a peep. 

"..." Kokichi looked at him blankly before blood quickly started to fall from his forehead down his head, some got into his eyes, coloring the whites into a deep crimson. "You left me to die. And not just me, you left the others who were killed to die. You also killed the murders purposely."

He couldn't move as Kokichi stalked closer and closer to him. 

"Kaede tried to save you all but you killed her. Kirumi, Korekiyo, Gonta, Kaito... They all wanted to live, but you killed them just so you could live. You made the last trial happen, and now, you have no clue what happened to Keebo, or where the mastermind is now. You lost, your not a detective, you're murderer, you don't deserve to liv-"

Shuichi's eyes blew open as he immediately sat up crying softly. He pulled his knees close to himself holding tightly onto himself. He hated sleeping, it was scary. 

He doesn't even know why he was like this, he didn't die like the others, so why was he scared? He didn't suffer, he didn't die, he didn't feel the pain that the others went through... 

Everyone would think he's doing it to gain sympathy, and he thought he was, he was convinced he was. Why would someone who survived and ended the game feel like this? Maki and Himiko definitely didn't feel like this too right? So why was he feeling this? 

Shuichi laid back down in bed, waiting for the next day to come. 

___

He didn't fall back asleep and stayed up all night, but that was okay. Shuichi got out of bed and fixed himself up, showering quickly, drying and brushing his hair, and getting dressed in some of the comfy clothes that were provided. 

Once he was done he sat on his bed, he had gotten ready for the group therapy session a good hour and a half early; he could do something to pass the time until it was 10:30.

He looked around the room before a thought came to his head. "I wonder how Kokichi would feel about this... Kokichi; does he even know that session is today?" Realizing he didn't tell Kokichi when the therapy session was he jumped out of bed. 

He felt kinda happy having a reason to visit and talk to the other boy so he quickly left his room and walked down the quiet hallways towards Kokichi's room. He stood in front of the door that had a cute little drawing of kokichi on the front. 

Hesitantly, he knocked on the door. "K-Kokichi, are you awake?"

After speaking he heard some movement in the room, an agonizing minute had passed before he got a response. "Come innnn!" The chipper voice yelled from the other side of the door. 

The former detective cleared his throat before opening the door and entering, only closing the door behind him once he was inside. Once he was in Kokichi's room he was met with Kokichi smiling at him from his bed.

"Hmm? Why did my beloved decide to visit me so early in the morning?" He asked, cocking his head to the side with an Innocent curiosity on his face. 

"Oh, um, today there's a group session, a-a group therapy session to be exact. It's at 10:30 and I wanted to tell you since I forgot last time" he said nervously. 

"I can't, I'm actually really busy today... Just kidding! It was a lie!" He said cheerfully. "I just have to get ready right?"

"Y-Yeah"

"Well, okay!" He said as he immediately bent over, reaching down for the bottom drawer from the drawer that was next to his bed. Shuichi cringed at the sight as Kokichi looked like he was about to fall off the bed and hit the floor face first. 

"K-Kokichi! That's dangerous!" Shuichi said as he ran to where Kokichi was reaching. 

"But the bottom drawer had a brush, my hair is really messy, I don't wanna look bad in front of someone who's important!" He said with a pout. 

"I'll get it" Shuichi responded with as he grabbed Kokichi by the shoulders and pushed his upper body back onto the bed. 

Kokichi cried happily. "Wow my beloved, you're so kind!" He yelled as crocodile tears fell from his eyes. 

Shuichi crouched in front of the drawer looking down at the bottom drawer as he blushed a bit. "No problem" he said softly as he opened it and took out the brush. 

He stood back up and placed a hand on the smaller boy's head and started to brush his hair with a soft sight. 

Kokichi grinned. "I WAS going to do it myself, but my beloved Shuichi is so kind, thank youuu~" He said teasingly. 

Shuichi immediately blushed as he realized he had just mindlessly start to brush the other's hair. "A-Ah s-sorry!" He yelled nervously before he offered the brush to Kokichi. 

Kokichi pushed to brush away towards Shuichi. "No! I like it when Shuichi does it, do it more. Pleaaaase!" He whined, looking as if he was about to start crying again. 

Not wanting to see him cry, even though he knew it was going to be fake tears he started brushing his hair again. 

Once Kokichi's hair was done Shuichi crouched down and opened a drawer that was attached to the hospital bed and took out some clothes. "Normally hospitals keep hospital gowns in here, but there's only comfy regular clothing." He said, standing back up and handing a pair of pants and a shirt to the other boy. 

"Wow, thanks Shuichi! This hospital gown I've been wearing sucks! Who knew there was better clothes there waiting for me?" He asked. 

Shuichi watched him and Kokichi looked at him blankly. 

"What? Do you want to see me change right in front of you? You're such a pervert Shuichi! Who knew you liked seeing others change! Or maybe you want to change me like how you brushed my hair!" Kokichi teased. 

The other boy immediately turned a deep red. "A-Ah, no, I'm s-sorry!" He stuttered nervously before dashing out of the room feeling completely embarrassed. 

Chapter Text

Hello! I just came here to apologize about not posting a new chapter, and I've come to explain why I've taken a while.

After I had posted the last chapter, from finales week had started at school, I was extremely busy and tried from studying for classes so I didn't fail and I had to take time that I used to use for writing for studying instead.

I was going to come back last week when my dad decided he was going to change the provider for my phone, and about two days ago while I was helping him with doing that I had to factory reset my phone. To give some background I wanna inform you that I use Ibis paint x as the app for my digital art and since I didn't know how to make an account I was just drawing on something that could easily be erased, so when my phone was factory reset all my 1,000+ drawings that I had made over the past two years were all erased from existence, I tried my best to back them up before I had to reset my phone, but it was no use. So when my phone reset I lost drawings that I had even made on my free time during finals week which were Saiouma drawings specifically for this fanfic.

I know it might sound funny or pathetic because when I lost all of that progress I actually kinda cried for a while since all that was hours of drawings down the drain.

I don't know when I'll come back, but I just need a break since I just don't have the motivation to draw or write at the moment. I really hope you understand what I'm talking about and have the patience to wait for me to gain my motivation again.

Don't worry though! I know I won't be gone for too long, probably a week at most. I already have about half of the second part done for the therapy chapter since it was written before finales started.

Please have a good rest of your day, evening or night!

Sincerely
Crazy_boi

Chapter Text

Hello I'm back, but not to announce a new chapter or discontinuation of this fic; I'm back because I wanted to say that I'm going to rewrite this story stice I'm not satisfied about how small my chapters are. I love to write, it's my favorite thing to do next to drawing; I don't know when I'll post the first chapter of the rewritten one, but what I want to do is mae the chapters longer and add more art. For why I'm doing this is because I just don't feel satisfied with how I executed it with the small chapters and little to no art.

Don't feel like I'm doing this because I feel forced, I love writing and drawing and just want to show my ideas, but sometimes I just get writers/art block. The name will be the same, and mostly everything will be the same since I just want to rewrite it to have more details.

I hope you understand 

-crazy_boi