Work Text:
What A Mess (3x01)
La O Na Makuahine (Mother's Day)
Malia was dead, brutally murdered. Chin was grieving not only for Malia but for their future that was so brutally stolen from the both of them. Steve was dealing with the fact that his Mom, Doris, was alive after faking her death too many years ago. And Kono was doing her upmost to keep herself together after she survived and Malia did not because Chin had chosen to send Adam to save her.
What a mess, Danny thought as he scrubbed his hands across his face and lent back in his desk chair as the past few days had felt endless. It was nearing midnight and he had yet to leave the office as he had been reviewing HPD’s files on Malia’s death including the crime scene photos and forensic report which he did not want anyone interrupting him and by anyone he meant Chin and Kono as neither needed a reminder.
The ding of the elevator startled Danny and he dropped his hands down from his face as the alertness kicked in which had him closing the folder once he had hastily and haphazardly shoved everything back inside before he put it away in his top drawer.
The sound of light footsteps had Danny relaxing as he recognised them as they were all too familiar before another glance at the time had a frown marring his face for a few moments. With a weariness that he could not shake he watched as Kono stopped in the middle of the entrance way with her arms wrapped tightly around herself looking heartbreakingly lost, and after several prolonged seconds he pushed himself up out of the chair.
“Kono, doll, what are you doing here?” Danny asked finding it hard to keep the concern from his voice as he stopped in the open doorway of his office not wanting to crowd her but at the same time he was desperate to reach out to her.
Kono jumped as she had been lost in her own thoughts and she turned to see Danny. She had not planned to end up at the office but she had been driving around aimlessly for a few hours. She rested her hand over her racing heart letting her fingernails dig into her skin. “I… uh… I don’t really know.” She admitted shakily as she really did not have an answer.
The fragility of Kono did not go unnoticed and Danny decided space be damned as he stepped forward and laid his hand on the middle of her back. “Why don’t we go and sit down doll?” He implored as he was worried her knees were going to give out on her at any second.
“Ah yeah, yeah, let’s sit down.” Kono’s voice wobbled as she agreed with Danny. Suddenly she felt even more off kilter as the safety and security that he offered began to envelop her.
Danny gently guided Kono into his office and to sit on the couch then took the seat beside her. “How are you doing?” It was a loaded question and one he hesitated to ask but it seemed like she needed the opening to talk.
Kono slid down on the couch until she could lay her head back comfortably and look up at the ceiling. She exhaled slowly as her eyes prickled with tears because the last thing she wanted to do was cry. “I don’t know.” She frowned at the tremble in her voice as she was doing a poor job at holding herself together.
Danny held his breath longer then he should have in the hope that Kono would continue but when she wasn’t anymore forthcoming he drew in a deep breath and took her hand in his. “It’s okay not to know.” His voice had dropped into the tone he reserved for terrified kids or a sick and sad Grace without any thought of it. “But nothing you say will be repeated by me either.” Full confidentiality was all he could offer besides listening attentively and a broad shoulder to cry on. “And I think you are so worried about Chin that maybe you are using it as a distraction so you don’t have to think about what happened or how you feel about all of it.” He might have been overstepping or pushing the boundaries but he did not want her not to have the opportunity or rather an outlet.
“It doesn’t compare.” Kono whispered before she drew in a shuddering breath.
“What doesn’t compare?” Danny kept his voice soft as his mind supplied several answers as to what she was meaning but he needed to know exactly in order to respond appropriately.
Kono shook her head briefly before a sob tore loose catching her off guard as she already felt lost without her body betraying her. “What happened to me and what happened to Malia, to Chin.” Her breath hitched and the tears she had done her upmost to keep at bay began to silently streak her cheeks. “Malia’s dead and I am alive.” Another sob, this one painful, left her and it almost choked her. It felt like the fragile dam had been broken. “It should have been me. I would swap places in a heartbeat if I could for Chin.”
“Hey, hey, hey, come on, come here.” Danny did not hesitate to wrap his arms around her and hold her tightly as she willing collapsed against him. “It’s not your fault. It’s not. We all know that the only one at fault is Delano.” He would reiterate that a hundred thousand times if that was what it took for her to believe that Malia’s death was not her fault. “It is not your fault.”
“Chin blames me.” The words slipped off unbidden and a new rush of tears came with them. It was painful to suddenly have someone so uncomfortable with you went unsaid but she did not need to say it.
Danny shook his head softly from side to side as he tightened his hold on her. “Grief makes people do strange things doll… And Chin does not blame you. He just cannot see anything straight at the moment Kono.” It was hollow and he knew it.
A soft snort left Kono as more tears rolled down her cheeks straining and dampening his shirt. “One could argue he is seeing very clearly.” Her tone was morose and she sniffled loudly as he seemed very clear even in the throes of grief.
Danny tilted his head to the side and exhaled softly then let his hand rest on top of hers as he figured they would not be moving for a while. “I am always here… and so is the animal.”
A small albeit morose giggle escaped Kono’s lips. “You love him and his craziness.” She was particularly fond of Steve’s craziness. “And I know… Thank you.” Her voice was thick with emotion as she was overwhelmed. “I am not moving for a while.” She felt like he should know as the comfort was needed.
“Well good because I wasn’t intending on letting go of you for a while.” Danny pressed a kiss to the top of her head as he settled in for a long time. “It is going to be okay. You and Chin… We are all going to get through this.”
Nothing had changed as Malia had died and Chin was grieving but hopefully Kono letting herself grieve was going to help her in the light of day however it was still a mess that would take time to sort and for everyone to heal from.