Chapter Text
Heartbroken,
That’s how Hao was currently feeling.
He looked completely pathetic, his phone wouldn't stop ringing and he knew his friends were worried but he just didn't feel like answering any of them.
They were his friends too, after all.
The sad movie on his tv wasn’t, so he’d rather stick with that for now.
That, a huge pizza box and his cat! Those were the only things making him feel less shitty at the moment.
Less guilty.
“It’s not your fault, you know that right?” - He could hear Gunwook’s voice inside his head.
The thought of Gunwook made him lose it, all the tears he was holding back started streaming down his face and the movie he was trying so hard to pay attention to became just background noise.
“I’m so stupid, how could I even believe for one second that he loved me, that I was nearly enough for him. Of course he would do that of course.” - he said to no one in particular.
He heard his cat coming and as if he knew what was going on he went all the up to where his owner was, stared at Zhang Hao for a few seconds before approaching him, climbing on Hao’s lap rubbing his head against Hao’s hand.
The little white kitty meowed and Hao’s crying got worse thanks to that.
“I pity you Binnie, you’re the best pet in the world, why would God send you to me when I'm this Mess, poor thing.”
The cat meowed again and bit his hand, not so strong that it hurted but enough for him to understand that what he said wasn't true.
“He was cheating on me Binnie, four years together all thrown in the trash today! I was so excited I thought he was going to propose but turns out he was actually cheating. Do you remember that fight we had a few months ago? About his collegue from the radio job?” - Hao looked at the cat and he was looking at him with wide eyes, it was so funny the way it looked like he was legitimately paying attention to whatever the hell Hao was saying, everytime Hao was sad his best listener was his cat. - “Well, he said I was crazy and he loved me and he would never cheat, turns out he could, and he did, with her!”
He paused and breathed, his heart was hurting so terribly.
The kitty rubbed himself against him again, reassuring him so he continued.
“I found out because Taerae told me about a reservation he made at one of his hotels, the honeymoon themed one. Taerae thought he was going to propose since i’m about to graduate and he graduated last year. Taerae told me in advance because he knows i don't like surprises and told me so i could get ready, i believed in him, i mean Jungwoo wouldn't be so dense to take his affair to one of Taerae's hotels right? Like he is one of my best friends! Turns out he is THAT brainless and thought Taerae would cover up for him. Spoiler alert, he didn't.”
He was about to continue when he heard knocks on the door.
“Hyung I know you're in there. I can hear your crying from the other side of the wall so don't even try to pretend.” - Gunwook was screaming
Oh yeah there's that, Gunwook beside being his best friend was also his neighbor.
“Please open the door Hyung, it's been days, we're all worried. I was giving you space but I heard you crying again and Ricky started meowing to the wall, even my cat is worried by now. Please op-” - Gunwook got interrupted by the sound of keys opening the door and finally the appearance of his best friend - “Oh I thought it would take longer for your stubborn ass to actually open the door for me, you look like shit! Come on, I made us dinner.”
“I have pizza.” - Hao said, his hair was all messy, his eyes puffy and he was still feeling bad but the sight of Gunwook with an apron looking actually worried and his little black cat behind his feet like he was some sort of security guard was so funny Hao couldn't help but smile minimally
“Hyung you ordered that TWO days ago, that nasty pizza has to go, cmon i cooked pasta, your favorite. You know i don't use the kitchen unless i bring a date home so you should be kissing my ass right now and saying “thank you Gunwookie you're the best friend in the entire world” not looking at me like that.” - Hao finally laughed thanks to his friend’s drama
“Can I bring Binnie with us?” - Hao asked, looking back at the kitty who had a weird grumpy face and was currently staring at Ricky.
“Sure but you'll do the dishes, you're heartbroken, not sick and i already spent way too much time in that kitchen.
They both laughed and Zhang Hao ran to turn off the tv and take the cat, the grumpy face didn't last long because as soon as they entered Gunwook’s house Ricky brought a little ball and they started playing together.
He looked at them waiting for Gunwook to bring their plates and for a few minutes he forgot his sadness.
As soon as Gunwook said Hao was with him at the group chat everyone went running to the youngers apartment and they actually had a great night and ended up sleeping all together at Gunwook’s leaving room, Matthew and Hao even had fight over who was going to sleep with Binnie but the white cat made its choice and slept with his owner, differently from Ricky who wouldn’t leave Gyuvin’s side all night and even slept on the crook of his neck.
☪
Weeks passed by and the pain was still there but it wasn’t as bad as it was before.
His friends (you know those friends that he was so scared about also being Jungwoo’s friends too? Yeah turns out they all actually hated him) wouldn’t leave his side during his free time and he finally got back to work.
He was lucky his boss and him were close and Jiwoong totally understood why he didn't show up to his classes. He knew Jungwoo after all, but he had to make up to his students so he rescheduled everyone, staying after hours almost everyday.
But not today, practically almost every student canceled. Apparently there was this “waterbomb festival” going on and his students were mostly college kids so they would definitely prefer a festival full of hot rappers, dancers in bikinis and water guns over private violin lessons but even thought he had no one to teach he was going to stay, at least that’s what he wanted.
“I’m closing early today, you have no one else for the day right?” - Jiwoong asked, leaning on the door watching as Hao cleaned his violin sitting on his desk.
“Yeah, Kai told me last week he wouldn’t be here today because he’s attending the festival with Taehyun, that Sunghoon kid texted me yesterday saying he’s not coming today and I just got a call from Jongho saying that he won’t make it.”
“Leave then, go touch some grass! It’s friday.” - Hao gasped - “What? Jesus Hao, you've been working like crazy, you think i don't see how you're like with double the classes you had last month? I know the finals are almost there and the kids want to make sure they’re going to ace their grades so they study harder and take more classes, especially the music student ones but you’re drowning yourself at work since… You know.”
“I do” - They both sighted - “I’ll get going then hyung, there’s this new Japanese drama on Netflix that i've been wanting to binge watch but my friends won’t let me saying that it will make me cry, i'll take the opportunity since they’re all at work right now.”
Jiwoong laughed, getting closer and petting Hao’s head.
Jiwoong was great.
He was a former actor who used his money to open an art school to teenagers who wanted to become artists and to help college students who needed extra classes. The school had acting, painting, vocal and even musical instruments lessons everyday.
Zhang Hao struggled a lot when he moved to Korea specially money wise so Jiwoong took him in when he was about 15 years old, he started helping at the front desk and then got promoted to the administration part until he was finally able to become a teacher there,.
“Yeah, do that! Bye Hao, take care and have a good weekend.” - he said leaving - “PLEASE LOCK YOUR DOOR BEFORE LEAVING.”
“Okay boss, thank you very much.” - Hao joked, their relationship was closer to friends than boss and employee but that’s for another time.
The ride home was shorter than Hao expected, he usually took a whole full album to get home but the traffic was not as bad at 4pm as it was at 7pm, when everyone was leaving their jobs so around 6 songs inside that empty bus and he was already home, that was what? Half an hour? Probably a record for the person he became after the break up, being home before 5pm.
His apartment was on the first floor so he decided to take the stairs. Everything was so quiet, so peaceful.
“I don’t know what else to do Ricky, he’s always out and when he’s home he’s either sleeping or crying, he got really good at fooling the boys and pretending he’s fine even Gunwook believes him now but he’s not, he’s never home! Zhang Hao loves home Ricky, he’s the most introverted person I've ever seen, he’s a proud homeboy.” - Hao heard someone say far away with a whiny voice.
Was that Gunwook? It didn't sound like Gunwook, but it said his name right? Who was that?
Hao got to the door, he was about to open when another voice appeared.
“Hanbin, I already told you what to do, he won’t kill you, Gunwook can help explain everything.”
“It’s easy for you to say you weren’t there when that asshole started criticizing people who believed in magic and witches and Hao stood there quietly, Gunwook was so sad. He won’t understand AND he will hate me, hate Gunwook and probably even you. It’s better this way”
“I know everything about that day, Gunwook cried all night but he was not worried about Hao hating him, he was sad because Hao was not him when he was with Jungwoo, they had many conversations about this and Hao actually really likes this subject and you know what else he really likes? You! Hanbin, Zhang Hao loves you with his whole soul! You’re with him for years now, that means you’ve been heartbroken over and over again all this time.”
“That’s not important Ricky,” - The voice that was whiny now became more upset and for some unknown reason Hao felt his heart hurting when he noticed that.
“You’re not important Hanbin? That’s what you’re saying?” - The second one sounded mad and suddenly one of them started crying - “Hey don’t cry, i’m not mad at you it’s just that…”
“My feelings are not important, that’s what I'm saying Ricks! They ceased to be important the day that women did this to us. Why can’t I be normal? You know I've been in love with him for years, what if I actually made a move instead of going after a crazy woman? He would never be suffering, he probably wouldn't even have dated Jungwoo, or maybe he would. I don't think he would’ve liked me back anyways. At least he loves me the way I am, not knowing the truth, maybe I like it better that way. I just wish he wouldn't suffer anymore, that i could actually hug him and comfort him instead of…”
He could hear the voice crying louder on the other side of the door and he was so curious, he had no idea who that person was but he did speak like he and Hao were super close, and the second one, Ricky. Wasn’t that Gunwook’s kitty name? Anyways perhaps he was going crazy after the break-up.
“Zhang Hao Hyung? What are you doing here so early?” - He heard Gunwooks voice behind him, the sound echoed loudly, there’s no way the two strangers didn’t hear that.
Shit. How long have I been standing here?
He heard noises and then a door, so he finally opened to look into the hall.
The boys were both gone, whoever they were there was no trace of them.
Shit.
☪
Zhang Hao had no guts to ask anything about the voices he heard to Gunwook, he heard his best friend’s name for sure but he had no idea how to start that conversation, damn he had no idea who those voices belonged to or where did they knew Hao and Gunwook from, where did they go, it made no sense at all.
Gunwook invited him in but after everything he heard his mind was so fuzzy he didn’t even see his best friend dragging him inside and there was something killing Zhang Hao…
Ricky.
He heard the whiny voice calling that name, Gunwook’s kitty name.
It was crazy, right? Like, there was no way!
He kept staring at the black cat and if you asked him he could swear the cat was staring back at him like it was some kind of competition.
“What 's wrong?” - The younger’s voice startled Hao, making him finally take his eyes off the black ball of fur, Gunwook’s kitchen was actually opened and you could see the living room from there so there was no way he wouldn't notice Hao’s staring contest with the cat. - “You’re home early for the first time in weeks and can not stop staring at my cat. What’s going on?”
Hao tried to think of an excuse, he opened and closed his mouth several times but nothing came through his mind.
“Do you think I could be going crazy? Like from the whole Jungwoo thing do you think my mind could play tricks on me and make me hear things that are not true because i’m still suffering?” - the redhead asked trying his best not to sound too insane
“Hyung, I thought you were over Jungwoo” - Gunwook said coming from the kitchen holding a bag of chips and a bottle of soda sitting next to Hao.
“We were together ever since i started college Gunwook and i’m about to graduate, you know how long that is? I will not move on that fast, I know you hated him but still.” - Hao sighed and started massaging his temples - “I think I'm going crazy.”
“Why?” - Gunwook asked but got no answer.
You could see smoke coming out of Hao’s ears, he looked like he was frying all his remaining neurons.
The silence lasted for a few minutes, Zhang Hao too stressed and confused to say anything, Gunwook respected that, he knew his best friend way too much and knew he needed that silence to understand whatever the hell was going on under that red hair of his.
But then something ended that silence.
Someone.
Ricky.
Meow
They both looked at the pet still silent for a few seconds but Gunwook understood what that meant.
“Hao hyung, can I ask you a question?” - The black haired asked not to take his out of Ricky taking Hao’s humming as a yes and continuing - “Do you believe in magic?”
Zhang Hao froze.
Did Gunwook hear them too? Did Hao say something out loud? Why did the cat meowing lead to Gunwook asking him this? What the fuck was he supposed to answer? Did he?
“As in Harry Potter?” - He tried to gain some time before actually figuring out how to ask Gunwook if he heard the nonsense voices earlier.
“As in witches hyung, like hocus pocus you know? The movie.”
The older was trying his best to look as unbothered as Gunwook but he couldn’t, what else could happen today?
“I…” - Hao started saying not so sure what was going to come out but suddenly a really loud noise came from his apartment, like super really loud, scarily loud!
Oh no, Binnie.
Both him and Gunwook got up but Hao was so fast like his life depended on it, he didn't even bothered to close Gunwook’s door behind him, his hand was shaking so much he was struggling to unlock the door but somehow he did in seconds, it felt like an eternity though and the following moment it was like the world was in actual ruins pulling him in.
He saw the white fur going up and down really fast while laying, the backrest of one of his chairs on top of it. Those chairs were heavy even for humans but somehow Binnnie was still alive and fighting to breathe.
The chinese ran and moved the chair, taking his cat and hugging him against his face.
Binnie was so scared Hao could feel his heartbeat racing and the unpaced breathing so he crumpled the kitty even more, whispering that he was here now and he was not going to leave his side.
Binnie could be dead, the chair was so close to his neck that if he fell in another position he wouldn’t have survived, Hao couldn’t imagine living without his cat, not now, not ever.
They stood like that for more than twenty minutes with Hao holding his kitty tight, Gunwook standing by the door with his hand on his chest and his little cat Ricky by his feet. Everyone was so scared they forgot completely about the whole magic thing but one thing was for sure, that conversation was definitely not over.
In fact Zhang Hao felt like that was just the beginning.
☪
What Zhang Hao whispered was true, another month went by and Hao didn't leave his cat’s side. He stopped overworking himself and started going home early, scared how he would find Binnie when he got home.
He was still trying to understand what happened that day, why did that happen to Binnie, he was such a chill cat he slept a lot, ate really well and loved cuddles, he was really calm most of the time and even when he was running around he was gracious somehow? Hao liked to joke that if he was a human he would probably be a dancer.
After the accident Binnie was even more needy, he would wait for Hao by the door whenever the music teacher got back, always laying on his lap or next to him with his head leaning on his leg, he started purring a thousand more times than he used to do.
Since he was staying home much more he started that Japanese drama he wanted to start and he finished in less than a week and then he started another one and finished in three days, summing up he stopped counting on his fifth show in less then two weeks so he made a decision and started watching a really long show that he would spend more than a couple of nights without sleep to finish and he could actually get obsessed about the characters for longer than a week.
Gilmore Girls! That was it.
Binnie looked like he loved the idea because he wouldn’t take his roundy blue eyes from the screen for one second, they were currently finishing season two and Hao was super invested. It was clear that Rory wanted to break up with Dean and starting to like Jess but she wouldn’t do anything about it and that was killing him and the funny thing was he would make comments out loud so he could “discuss” what he was thinking about the show and Binnie would totally meow back answering, it was their thing! If Hao ever tried to explain it to anyone they would probably call him crazy, Jungwoo would tell him to get rid of that cat like he did multiple times. Speaking of crazy, he didn't find the opportunity to ask Gunwook about the voices, sometimes he would join him in his marathons but most of the time he was spending home alone and Gunwook was so busy these days they barely saw each other.
He was caressing Binnies fluffy fur, both of them super concentrated when Hao’s phone started ringing, his eyes couldn’t believe what he read on the screen. Zhang Hao could recognize that number anywhere even after deleting it.
It was Jungwoo.
“Should I answer it, Binnie?” - The redhead asked, pausing the TV and the cat hissed. - “Maybe he wants to apologize, it’s friday night he’s probably drunk as fuck”
He waited for a few more seconds, hoping for his cat to turn into a human look him in the eye and put some sense into his brain, holding his shoulders screaming “don’t answer it, remember what he did to you” but that didn’t happen, no one was there to put some sense into his head so he did what he shouldn’t. He answered the phone and it didn't took too long for his suspicions to be confirmed by the really drunk voice on the other side of the line start whining.
“Haohao, is that you? Did you really answer?” - the boy rolled up his tongue being almost impossible to understand, but unfortunately Hao knew him too well.
“What do you want, Jungwoossi?” - Zhang Hao said trying to sound confident but he could feel his heart shattering inside of his chest, he ignored Binnie’s meows and got up, going outside to breathe.
Oh how he wished he had a cigarette right now, but Gyuvin got rid of his claiming that it stinked and it would only do terrible things to his health, maybe he wanted that but he kept that part to his toxic self.
“Haohao, can you pick me up please? I know you hate me, I do, I hate myself too. I shouldn’t have done what i did and thought you blocked me but i called anyways because -” - Jungwoo stopped talking and if that was happening a year ago Hao would be completely desperate but right now he wasn’t, not because they were not together anymore but because he got used to late night drunk calls, he got used to spending rivers of money with ubers to go get Jungwoo at some random bars located in dangerous areas, the last year of their relationship was rough - “Sorry, there was a fight going on, can you please pick me up?”
“You know i can’t, we’re not together anymore Jungwoo, you cheated on me!”
“I didn't mean it, I swear! Please come pick me up, please.” - Jungwoo could hear Hao’s heavy breath on the other side, he was drunk but he was still Jungwoo and he knew the effect he had on his ex - “Please babe, i need you right now.”
Zhang Hao could picture the pout on his face right now, vividly. The pet name made his heart skip a beat and it felt like an avalanche of feelings.
You can’t, he’s terrible you know that now
“Pretty please?” - The korean said even more whiny knowing the silence meant it was probably working.
These two months apart made Hao realize how toxic their relationship was and how manipulative Jungwoo could be, they were always fighting and getting back together, Jungwoo would scream and leave him alone to go out clubbing just to get back drunk and drugged begging for forgiveness, kissing Hao tenderly and “loving” him all night, it was an infinite loop.
It was never love, at least not from Jungwoo’s side.
After enough time had passed Hao understood that the girl from the radio was not the first affair Jungwoo had, in fact Zhang Hao was being fooled ever since day one, but Jungwoo always knew how to push his buttons and make him forgive and forget, he knew how to make Hao feel like he was being insane and paranoid.
He knew he had Hao in the palm of his hands.
“Why would I go, Jungwoo? Tell me! After everything, why would I leave my house, my cat, my comfort to help someone who only hurted my feelings and made me feel like the worst human being alive?” - he has no idea why he was saying that to his ex, he was so drunk he wouldn't even remember he called Zhang Hao next morning but he had to say it, he had to let it out.
“Because that weird man who tried to spank me once is here and he’s staring at me and he looks so drunk and pissed he will probably kill me if i don’t leave right now bt i’m way too drunk to leave by myself and i got no place to go since my parents are staying at my place and if i get home this drunk they will kill me so it will be no use me running away from this bar…” - Jungwoo continued rambling while Hao once again started stressing out, he knew who was the man his ex was talking about, he almost got killed by that man one night after a football game and his parents could indeed kill him if he got home in that state.
But why would Hao help him after all? He was not wrong, Jungwoo was terrible and maybe he deserved to get beaten up.
Zhang Hao got back inside, taking his coat and taking his airpods so he could speak to Jungwoo and use his phone at the same time, he put on his shoes and started unlocking the door not even bothering to turn off the TV, already calling an Uber.
“Stay with me in line, i’m going” - Zhang Hao said sighting, so concentrated on his phone he missed the way his cat ran after him trying to stop him somehow.
☪
The ride there was a true roller coaster.
Zhang Hao’s mind was going through his thoughts so fast he couldn’t understand or hear any of them.
Should I go back? Am I doing the right thing? Am I doing the wrong thing? How did I never notice how toxic this is? Thank god that’s not my reality anymore! This is the last time. What will happen when we get home? He always tried to kiss me and have sex when this sort of thing happened when we were together! Should I take him to a hotel? Shit, Gunwook will kill me.
So many thoughts.
He got at the location Jungwoo sent him and it was a place he was already familiar with, like always shitty bar at a very dangerous area, the place was full of people but he had no problem spotting his problematic ex amount them, he rushed to pay the bill and left carrying the boy outside placing him inside the uber.
He was so used to this that he already called the car with the stop at the bar so he could just get inside, get Jungwoo and go back to the car, not even bothering to call another one, it was more expensive but it was worth it, less stress.
Just like Hao imagined Jungwoo leaned his head on his shoulder and slept the whole way home, he tried to interwrap their hand but Hao wouldn’t let him, he was not falling for this shit, not this time.
Long forty minutes went by and they finally got to Hao’s place, he thanked the driver once again taking Jungwoo out and begging for him not to make a sound so no one would hear them, especially Gunwook.
Jungwoo was already completely back from his sleep now, still pretty drunk but already able to stand by himself watching as Zhang Hao opened the door.
Everything after the door was opened happened really fast, Hao leaned down to take off his shoes looking with sorry eyes to his kitty approaching them.
He was about to whisper apologies and say Binnie was supposed to be sleeping when he felt a grip pulling him to stand and throwing him against the wall, the hand left his wrist and grabbed his waist he could feel his ex trying to kiss his neck but he was not stupid, even thought he was shocked he prepared himself for that moment already picturing this would happen when they were coming back from that bar so he pushed Jungwoo really hard, trying to let go of himself.
He could hear Jungwoo mumbling words like “Forgive me” and “Come back to me” but despite how hurt he was feeling because of the situation he was not affected by them in a way that made him want to go back.
Once again he pushed Jungwoo observing him stumbling back towards the door, he heard a weird noise and suddenly a body appeared between his ex and himself.
“Leave right now.” - A voice said, not his voice, not Jungwoo’s but the person between them.
It was a boy, a tall boy that he couldn’t see the face from where he was standing but he did notice that his hands were closed in fists like he was ready to punch Jungwoo at any given moment, Zhang Hao also notice how huge and roundy his ass was, so pretty wow.
Okay, not the time.
“Who the fuck are you?” - Jungwoo asked, the adrenaline probably making the drunkenness leave his body
“You’re not in the place to ask questions, leave or else I'll call the cops. Or worse, Gunwook.” - Zhang Hao definitely knew that voice…
OH
There was no time for Jungwoo to answer, the boy grabbed Jungwoo by the collar and opened the door while holding his clothes, throwing him outside the house and closing the door to his face.
They heard Jungwoo’s steps leaving through the stairs and then complete silence.
The boy stood there for at least two minutes, holding the knob staring at the closed door, not having the courage to look at Zhang Hao. The chinese felt like he was drunk, what the fuck is going on, who is this were the only two phrases he could think of.
They were both standing there frozen until the taller finally turned his back to the door looking at Hao’s eyes for the first time that night, he looked scared, not even scared. He looked terrified, waiting for Zhang Hao to say something, pleading almost through his sight.
And then the last thing Zhang Hao could ever imagine came out of his lips, those eyes staring at him like he was the entire universe but also petrified that he would tell him to leave, how the fuck could he read someone so well? He was feeling so vulnerable but also protected.
What the fuck is going on
“Binnie?” - was all that he said and suddenly everything around them stopped, the taller one smiled softly and embarrassed, his cheeks and ears instantly turning red as he heard the redhead’s voice calling him.
“Yeah, but you can call me Hanbin, I guess we have a lot to talk about right? I better bring Gunwook and Ricky to help, they probably woke up with all that noise.”
Hao gazed at Hanbin, opening the door gently to go knock on his best friend’s door.
Oh boy, that was going to be a long night.