Work Text:
[Noctis 23:19] u awake?
[Cloud 23:20] yeah. why are you awake?
[Noctis 23:20] thinking about stuff
[Cloud 23:21] bad?
[Cloud 23:25] noct?
[Noctis 23:27] yeah
[Noctis 23:27] bad
[Cloud 23:30] i can come over if you want. or we could go somewhere.
[Noctis 23:31] pls
[Cloud 23:33] on my way
-
Noct’s on his front step, his knees tucked into his chest with his hands curled around his ankles. He leans his head against his knees and tries to keep breathing so he doesn’t start crying again. He doesn’t want to wake the Amicitias, but especially not Gladio. He doesn’t really think the older boy would tease him for crying like he used to; Noct just doesn’t want anyone to know.
He’s supposed to be over this; it’s been almost a year. The grieving finished alongside the funeral reception. After that, Noct had to be okay, whether he felt it or not. He couldn’t just stay sad when everyone was counting on him. He didn’t want their pity; he didn’t really want anything.
“Hey.”
Noct looks up to see Cloud standing on his bike in his farmer-boy blue overalls. He wants to say something. Maybe apologize? Or diffuse the situation entirely. Say, ‘Sorry I had a moment of weakness and bothered you for no reason’ or something like that.
He doesn’t say anything. Every once and a while, the fishing line that wired his mouth shut for months after his dad died worms its way back into his jaw. So he just looks at Cloud; at that stupid bandage on his chin because he tripped on chocobo shit at the stables; at the dressing on his right forearm from the grease fire at Cloud’s foster home.
He looks at the bandages wrapped around Cloud’s pinky and index fingers and remembers Cloud’s broad, bloody smile in the nurses’ office.
“You should see the other guys,” he’d said.
“You okay?” Cloud asks, his face slightly tense.
Noct curls his lips in and looks at the ground. He doesn’t think he’s been okay for the last 342 days; he’s not sure he remembers what okay even feels like.
Cloud tilts his head to the side. “Hop on. It’s a clear night for once.”
So Noct does.
-
They ride for a while. Cloud hums some old song from his hometown, and Noctis breathes in the smell of chocobos and his country boy. It’s almost okay. When he’s with Cloud, things are almost okay.
-
Eventually, they end up at the old high school. The city couldn’t afford a nighttime security guard (something about haunted robots and murder), so it’s too easy to slip in the broken side entrance and climb up to the roof. Cloud dangles his legs over the edge while Noct sits with his legs crossed beneath him. He still hasn’t said anything. He doesn’t know how.
“You know…Cid wanted to be an astronaut when he was a kid,” Cloud starts. He sounds a little awkward when he tells stories, but that’s one of the reasons Noct likes hearing his voice. “He actually uh…planned on studying aerospace engineering, I think. Before he met Vincent anyway.”
After a few moments of silence, Noct reaches a hand out to his left and rests it in the space between them. Cloud slips his bandaged hand into Noct’s and keeps going.
“He…he actually showed us, uh me and Prom, some constellations after the fire. Was kinda cool.”
Noct squeezes his hand.
“I don’t really see any of them tonight though,” Cloud continues. “Was hoping I could…cheer you up. Just cause…um…I like to imagine my mom’s up there? Like she’s not here anymore, but she’s somewhere else in the universe looking out for me. It helps a little, I think.”
Noctis scoots a tiny bit closer.
“Um…You know Luna and Aerith say the same thing about their moms too, right? It’s…nice. Like our parents aren’t really…all the way gone.”
The words slip out of Noct before he realizes it. He laughs a little. “Are you trying to make me cry, babe?”
Noct sees Cloud scrunch up his face out of the corner of his eye. “No but...your uh…eyeliner is smudged a bit. Here, I’ll-” Cloud says before he reaches up his right hand and gently rubs away a small dark spot under Noct’s eye.
Noct feels his face heat up. Cloud literally pulls smiles out of him; he’s the raincloud that helps block out the sun when the light is too much.
Cloud runs his thumb across Noct’s cheek before dropping his hand and slipping his fingers into Noct’s waiting hand. “That’s why…just cause you looked like you already cried so…I didn’t think I could make it worse."
You never make it worse, Noct thinks. But he doesn’t say that. He turns his head back to the sky, the smile still lingering across his face. “How many stars do you think there are?”
“Oh,” Cloud says, slightly surprised. “I don’t know. 1000 maybe.”
Noct smiles wider. “Eh, that’s probably accurate.” He really loves his farmer boy.
“I got an F+ in astronomy last year.”
Noct leans his head on Cloud’s shoulder and closes his eyes. “Yeah, I figured.”