Work Text:
Yagi Toshinori, or better known as All Might, always used to say he was never a jealous person.
He was the number one hero, the symbol of peace, and the symbol of peace never became jealous.
He didn’t have room in his life for jealousy.
That was however until a green haired boy named Izuku Midoriya came into his life.
The young boy, the one who was born with no power, blew him away and turned his world upside down.
He knew that when he first told Midoriya that he couldn’t become a hero, he would regret it for as long as he lived. The green boy's eyes dimmed to a light that reflected the darkness within him. The boy’s shoulders slumped together and his head bowed down to stare at his feet, almost as if he wanted the ground to swallow him whole.
To say Yagi Toshinori felt bad about what he said would be an understatement. He was absolutely distraught, even if he broke that boy’s dream himself.
It wasn’t because he believed that a quirkless child couldn’t become a hero. In all actuality, he wanted someone to become the first quirkless hero. He wanted that more than anything. But until All For One was caught and no longer a threat to society, he couldn’t allow anyone to get hurt. He failed his country once, he wasn’t going to fail them again.
However, he could have never known that only 20 minutes later, his thoughts about the boy would fly out the window.
It was by chance that he caught the fight against the slime villain.
He was making his way home, the side of his body pounding and burning, when a blast from the alley a couple of blocks away caught his attention.
He knew it was an attack.
His senses alerted him someone was in trouble.
However, no matter how much he wanted to help, his body was in too much pain and his limit had been reached hours ago; There was no way he could save anyone.
In that moment, blended in with the crowd, he was as useless as the day he found out he was quirkless.
In that moment, he wasn’t the greatest hero to ever live. He was a bystander; A nobody.
Yagi Toshinori gripped his side and prayed that some hero with the right quirk would come in and save the boy who made explosions from his hands.
He watched on in despair, because that was all he could do; Watch.
He almost missed it.
He almost didn’t see it.
But one second he was watching a young man get suffocated and next, the boy whose dreams he crushed was rushing in, no care for his life, and fighting the gigantic villain.
He stared in shock.
He knew that boy was quirkless.
He knew that he had no power to help the other boy.
But that green haired boy didn’t care. To him, someone was in trouble and he would be damned if he didn’t at least try.
Yagi Toshinori watched as that boy ran in to save someone despite his lack of quirk, and an unknown emotion settled on his chest that caused his heart rate to increase. Before he knew it, his arms were expanding and his height increased. Before he could blink, he was flying and saving the two boys as well as defeating the villain.
As fast as he intervened, even faster he disappeared. He was too ashamed to take credit for a save that only happened because of the green haired boy with the bright red sneakers.
Yagi Toshinori made it halfway home before he turned right back around in search of the young man.
He was still inspired, still in awe, that he had decided at that very moment that the green haired boy known as Izuku Midoriya, would be his successor.
…………
“I AM HERE” He yelled out as he landed once he saw the boy walking home by himself.
A part of him was sorry for scaring the boy so badly he almost fell over, but he was All Might, and All Might always had a grand entrance.
“Young Man, I was wrong about you. The way you ran in there to help a friend in need. The way you had to save him truly inspired me. Being a hero is running into situations before you can even process the threat. Being a hero is your feet moving before your body. I was wrong about you. Izuku Midoryia, you can be a hero.”
As All Might finished his speech, Izuku Midoriya was in tears. He went on to explain the power of One for All and explained the workout training routine he would have to endure in order to prepare his body for the transfer.
Izuku Midoriya took everything in stride, proving All Might wrong every day that passed.
And as Yagi Toshinori sat in the exam observer room, surrounded by his fellow teachers, he watched the green haired boy with a small proud smile on his face.
After all, he started to view the boy not as his successor, but as his son.
The first time Yagi Toshinori saw Izuku Midoriya hugging and calling his fellow colleague, Eraserhead, Dad, he tried to drown himself in a water fountain.
It wasn’t the first time he tried this method, but it was the only thing in his vancity once he heard the conversation.
He didn’t think through how he would actually manage to drown himself, but he was never known for giving up.
It wasn’t until some upperclassmen from down the hall started laughing at him, did he end his efforts at a miserable death.
Because that was what Yagi Toshinori was, miserable.
He had viewed Izuku Midoriya as his son since the moment he transferred his power to the green haired boy.
He had cared for the boy more than he cared for himself. And this alone terrified him.
Yagi Toshinori never had anyone growing up.
He was given up for adoption as a baby and bounced from foster home to foster home due to his lack of quirk. His master, Nana Shimura, was his mentor, but never someone he could view as a mother. She instilled into him that he had to be alone and couldn’t have a family in order to get things done and because of this, she never even let him get close to her. Gran Torino trained him after his master's death, but he was too set in his ways to provide the love and care Yagi Toshinori yearned for. The closest person he could even call a friend was the detective from the police department, but they had more of a professional relationship. His old sidekick Nighteye, refused to make amends with him. Yagi Toshinori did not have anyone he could call his own. He didn’t have parents, he didn’t have friends, he didn’t have any one he could love, he didn’t have a family. He had no one.
At the start of his career, having no one bothered him more than he would admit. He saved families and children and a part of him wished he would have that romantic and parental connection. The more he wanted a family, the more he threw himself into his work. If he couldn’t have a family of his own, he would do everything he could to protect existing families. However, his plan had flaws in it. The one flaw he could have never predicted when he made the plan. He couldn’t have predict that along the way he would give everything he was to the public, and have nothing for himself. The public stripped away everything from him, until he couldn’t even recognize himself.
Yagi Toshinori didn’t even know who he was.
He had been All Might for so long that he lost his actual identity.
He thought he had found it when he met Izuku Midoriya.
He thought that he had finally recovered the piece of him that yearned to be a parent.
He thought he would finally have a chance to have the one thing he had always wanted; A family.
But he was too late.
His fears and constant battling with himself over opening up caused a connection to form somewhere else for the boy.
The first person he ever cared about, he lost, and that pain hurt more than having his stomach on the outside five years prior.
He couldn’t even train or be next to the boy anymore since his new parents found out about what he said to the green haired boy months before.
He wasn’t allowed anywhere near the boy without their supervision, since they didn’t trust him to not ruin Izuku’s dreams a second time.
He had to watch from afar the one person he had ever cared about call someone else his family.
So he tried to drown himself in the water fountain because to him, life wasn’t worth living anymore.
He gave his quirk to someone who would create their own legacy. He took a back seat to all hero work. Nobody needed him anymore. He was useless, and he was just done.
Yagi Toshinori wiped his face to remove the water before he started to walk down the hall to the teachers lounge, ignoring the laughter of the third years.
He let himself feel the despair.
However, he was so lost in thought from the pain, that he didn’t notice the pair of eyes, one green and one black, filled with worry following him until he made it into the lounge.
He was so lost in despair that he couldn’t register the worried looks his colleagues kept shooting him.
He was so lost in himself, that he never noticed two members out of a family of four, watching him with frowns on their face.
He didn’t register any of it.
And why would he?
He had no one to worry about him.
Because in this life, the life he was forced to live, he had no one to call his own.
Kamino ward was, as some would say, a shitshow.
Buildings were destroyed, families were screaming and crying out for their lost loved ones, pro heroes were fighting the Nomu, and destruction was everywhere.
However, despite the destruction, everyone in the country was staring at either electronic billboards, televisions, computers, or their phones.
The reason?
All Might was risking everything fighting the villain known as All for One.
At that moment, as everyone was staring at All Might, All Might was watching Izuku Midoriya disappear further and further away from the battle.
His heart had dropped when he saw the green haired boy fly out from behind a wall with his friends. He cursed and what was left of his stomach knotted up.
His boy was in danger and he couldn’t even save or help him.
“Eyes on me All Might,” All for One shouted, hitting All Might so hard blood spewed out of his mouth and onto the concrete below him.
It was almost as if he could feel everyone's eyes on him; begging him to not give up. He managed to look up once more after briefly recovering from the hit, and that was the biggest mistake he had ever made.
The reason?
Staring right back at him from yards away, was the diapering green light of his boy's eyes.
He didn’t want Midoriya to look back at him.
He didn’t want his boy, the boy he viewed as his son, to see him at this precise moment.
Yagi Toshinori knew that, in some way or another, he was going to die. He was missing a chunk of his stomach and was living on borrowed time. The only reason he was able to get this far in life was because of Recovery Girl and her healing quirk.
He was destined to die, and at Kamino Ward, with his true form revealed, he felt as if it were his time.
Yagi Toshinori wasn’t suicidal, but standing across from the greatest villain who ever lived, he wanted to give his life to put an end to societies misery; and also his.
He had been alone his entire life. He had never known what love was. He had never been able to express his emotions because there was no one there to express them to. He was the greatest hero to ever live, but he was also human, and all humans need at least one person.
As he fought All for One, he realized he didn’t mind dying.
Before, he knew he couldn’t die. He still had his quirk and the world still needed him. Now, no one needed him. His quirk was in good and capable hands. His students were in even better hands since they are learning under Eraserhead. He had no friends to grieve him and the world would forget about him after a few years. No one would mourn or miss him and therefore, he fought with no restraint.
He threw himself at All for One with everything he had. The more he hurt, the harder he pushed. His arms were torn and bruised. His uniform was completely shredded. His entire being was covered in blood. He was no longer the greatest hero to ever exist. All Yagi Toshinori was now, was a shell of who he was.
As All Might fought All for One, the world was shocked by what they were seeing. They had never seen All Might fight the way he was fighting at that moment.
He seemed two seconds away from death's door and everyone who was watching was shocked to see how their hero was not stopping. They watched as All Might was being thrown around, bloodied, and stabbed. They watched as their hero never for one second stopped and continued to throw himself at All for One. They watched as All Might was being killed before their very eyes.
Miles away from Kamino Ward, Eraserhead, his husband, and their two kids watched All Might's battle on the TV after Midoriya made it safely back to school.
Hizashi was holding his hand over his mouth, shocked by what was occurring. Hitoshi was holding Izuku, trying to calm down his shaking. And Shouta? Well Shouta was trying to hold in his anger.
Not at All Might himself. He had no reason to be mad at the man anymore. He was furious at himself because as he watched the fight, he could tell All Might had no plans whatsoever to make it out of there alive.
He knew, without a doubt, All Might was looking for death. And all he could do was watch. He was too far away to help and his son had just gotten back from that place. All Shouta could do was watch his son's hero be bloodied and tortured right before him.
“Dad, he's going to die.” Izuku Midoriya shouted out, still clutching Hitoshi as if he were his lifeline.
“It’s ok Izu” Hizashi tried, not having any clue on how to reassure his son.
“No papa it’s not ok” Midoryia cried out again. “He is going to die and he is never going to know how I felt about him.”
If Shouta was angry before, he was furious now.
“What the fuck do you mean how you felt about him? Did he coerce you or something?”
To say Izuku Midoriya was horrified would be an understatement.
“No dad what the fuck! That is just… no…..ew…. Oh my god kill me now. I meant that I never got to tell him that I view him as a parent. That is what I meant.”
“Oh” Shouta responded, his anger vanishing in an instant.
“You view him as a parent?” Hitoshi asked, confused.
“Yeah” Midoryia started out, still crying. “I never told him though. I know he at first ruined my dreams. And don’t get me wrong, I was so hurt when he told me I couldn’t be a hero and then not even three hours later, changed his mind. I was furious but he believed in me enough to give me a quirk that was precious to him. I was angry and hurt during our training, but no matter what he always showed up. I had never had that before. I never had someone show up for me. I never had someone care enough to see me everyday. You know the story with my mom. You know how absent she was. All Might during that time saved me from myself. He gave me someone to talk to and he gave me hope that I could be a hero. He completely destroyed my dreams, I know. I know all of that. And he is not my dad or papa, you guys are. But he was my father way before and I never told him.” By the end of the speech, Midoriya was full blown clinging onto Hitoshi, trying to control his sobs.
“Why didn’t you say anything when we told you that you could no longer talk to him?” Hizashi asked.
“I wanted to refuse. I did. But I had just gotten you guys. I had just finally got a family and I didn’t want to do something to lose that. I know now that you guys wouldn’t have pushed me away if I disagreed with you. I know now that we would have talked about it. But I didn’t know that then. I had no clue. And when I finally understood, it was too late. I had completely cut All Might out and I was too ashamed to tell him again. I was too ashamed to admit my mistake and now I might lose my father forever.”
Midoriya finished his speech staring as hard as he could at the TV, praying that the universe wouldn’t take away the person that gave him his dream.
“We’re sorry kiddo” Hizashi spoke out after a silent nod from Shouta, “We just heard that story and wanted to protect you and we hadn't even considered that he might have changed. We’re so sorry Izuku.”
Izuku Midoriya couldn’t even respond to his papa. All he could do was cry.
“What do you need?” Hitoshi asked, still taking everything in and asking after his brother calmed down a bit.
“I just need him alive,” Izuku Midoriya responded, still staring at the TV.
It was almost as if the gods above heard his prayers, because one moment All Might was losing, and the next, he was standing over All for One with his fist raised in the air.
“Oh my god” Midoriya cried out, sobbing in relief as he watched his hero standing there alive.
“He’s alive,” he whispered out into the world while being surrounded and comforted by his family.
He had a Dad.
He had a Papa.
He had a brother.
And he had a father; Only if he was brave enough to tell that to the man himself.
As Izuku Midoriya clung to his family with every muscle in his body, he couldn’t help but think, “ Is my father okay?”
……
From miles away, All Might stood over All for One with his fist raised above his head.
“Oh my god” he uttered under his breath, body full of pain.
“This is going to hurt like a bitch when I wake up” He murmured again, before collapsing down onto the earth below him.
The last thing he saw was paramedics running toward him while heroes delegated around him.
Yagi Toshinori, right before he lost consciousness, had one resounding thought.
A thought so great it caused his damaged chest to hurt even more.
Right before he lost consciousness, right before he allowed himself to enter the dark abyss, he couldn’t help but think,
Is my son ok?
“Fucking kill me now” were the first words Yagi Toshinori uttered after waking up from his two week coma.
If he were a better man, he would at least be somewhat embarrassed for his foul language. However, he was in pain and lonely, so he could have cared less about what he had just said.
“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” A grumpy tired voice spoke out from the corner of the room.
“Don’t have a mother” Toshinori responded before realizing that he was in fact, not alone.
Gently lifting his head, he was able to see Eraserhead slumped down on a chair with a coffee cup in his hand across the room.
He blamed the pain meds he was on, but at that moment, he didn’t want anyone to be near him.
He didn’t want pity and he sure as hell didn’t want to be questioned by the man who stole his kid.
“What are you doing here?” He just as grumpily asked, placing his head back down on the pillows and staring up at the hospital ceiling.
“Do I need a reason to visit a hurt colleague?” Eraserhead shot back, seemingly in a mood for an argument.
“Well you visited and I’m fine so just leave,” Yagi fired, still blaming the pain meds for his rudeness.
“So you laying in a hospital bed covered head to toe in bandages is fine?” Eraserhead once again probed, still not backing down.
“I’m alive aren’t I? So yes, I’m fine. Leave.” Yagi spit out again, closing his eyes to contain his anger.
Eraserhead remained silent for a few minutes. He was so silent that Yagi actually believed he had left the room.
It wasn’t until he heard the chair scraping back and footsteps walking towards him that he knew he was mistaken.
“You were fighting to die” Shouta finally uttered after coming right up to Yagi’s bed.
“No,” Yagi grumbled. “I was fighting to win and I did. Everything else doesn’t matter.”
“So your life doesn’t matter?” Shouta asked, a hidden emotion laced in his tone.
Yagi Toshinori opened his eyes and just stared at the man who stole his son from right under him. He looked at him and realized that no matter how much his heart hurt, no matter how much he wanted to remember who he was, he would never get back those pieces of him. He could pretend to be a parent. He could pretend to know what love feels like. He could pretend with all of it, but he wasn’t strong enough to. He wasn’t strong enough to pretend that he knew who he was.
“My life hasn’t mattered to me in a long time, Eraser. We’re heroes. You should know that our lives always come second to those who need saving.”
Yagi then returned his gaze to the ceiling after his statement and just stared. He had no thoughts in his mind. If anything, he wished there was something, anything, he could distract himself with.
“Heroes' lives matter too you know,” Shouta responded, shocked to hear what he had just been told.
“Heroes' lives matter when they have something to lose,” Yagi countered.
“What do you mean?” Shouta asked.
“Eraserhead, your life matters because you have something to lose. You have family, friends, colleagues that like you, and a place in this world. Your life matters because everyone around you needs you. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”
Shouta Aizawa stood by Yagi Toshinori’s bed and was at a loss for words. He always had something on his mind but right in this moment, looking down at the broken and fragile man supine on the bed, he had not one word.
“You matter” Was all he could say. He wanted to say more. He wanted to express more. However, the words would not come out.
“I don’t matter” was what Shouta heard in return.
He opened his mouth to disagree but Yagi had cut him off before he could even express what was in his mind.
“I don’t matter but not in the way you are thinking. All Might matters to the public. He matters to the young generations who want to become a hero one day. He matters as a role model to those who came after him. All Might matters. But me? Me just being Yagi Toshinori and not All Might, I don’t matter. No one knows me or knows who I am. No one has a clue to who I am. All Might matters, sure, but I don’t.”
Yagi hadn’t even realized he was crying until he felt tears slide down his cheeks and onto the pillow beside him. However, he wasn’t sad about what he just spilled. It wasn’t as if this was the first time he told himself what he had just mentioned; It was just the first time he said it out loud.
“You and All Might are the same person,” Shouta stated after a couple of seconds of taking in what he just heard.
“No we’re not” was all Yagi Toshinori could say before a nurse interrupted their conversation to take his blood.
“Just leave” He added again, completely done conversing.
Shouta Aizawa again had so much to say. But he was shocked from the events he just experienced and needed time to process. So, despite his gut telling him not to, he left the room.
As he was making his way back to UA, Shouta started to reminisce about his interactions with the golden haired hero. He had always thought that All Might was obnoxiously loud. He was huge and annoying. Everywhere the number one hero went, so did the tabloids and fans. It was disgusting to him how much the other loved the spotlight. But when the man was in his true form, he was quiet and sickly. He stayed to himself and never got close to the other teachers. He had questions but once answered, he would go off by himself once again. The man made a point to be almost somewhat invisible.
The longer Shouta thought about it, the more understanding he gained. Yagi Toshinori and All Might were not one. Yagi Toshinori hid behind the persona that was All Might. Although he understood, all Shouta wanted to know was why.
Why did the man who gained so much over his career, hide his true self from everyone?
……
Yagi Toshinori laid silently in the hospital bed after the nurse left and couldn’t help his tears from falling. This time, he was aware of the action.
He was alone again.
Just as he always was.
At first, when he heard Eraserhead in his room, he was angry.
Angry because he had no idea how to act or respond to someone being there when he woke up.
Over his long career, he had been in the hospital countless times. He was in this place so much he had a designated room and the nurses knew him as if he were an acquaintance visiting. And all those times that he laid in a hospital bed in his designated room, he always woke up alone.
Everytime he gained consciousness, he was alone.
So the one time he wasn’t alone, he did not know how to act. To make matters worse, it was the man who took his boy away from him.
The longer Yagi Toshinori laid on that bed with silence and loneliness surrounding him, the more the last thread of hope he had tethered away.
He had spent the last year and a half feeling as if he was gaining himself back. He had spent that time creating a connection that he had dreamed of for ages.
But now laying in the hospital, alone, he was done.
He was done with the hopeless emotion of love.
He was done hoping to become a parent.
He was just done.
He viewed Izuku Midoriya as a son, but Izuku Midoriya did not view him as a father.
So, despite how much it hurt him, in that moment, he decided that the boy was better off without him.
Yagi Toshinori walked into the staff lounge and immediately knew something was off.
There was a complete silence even though all the first year teachers were at their desks.
Typically if he walked into a room full of people, there would be some sort of noise of ruckus. But there was nothing. Just pin-drop silence.
In all honesty, it had been this way since he returned to work three weeks ago. Ever since then, there had been no noise or laughter coming from the room that once held so much joy.
As he made his way towards his desk, he could feel the glare of Eraserhead following his every move. He could feel Present Mics eyes following him and Midnight's sad smile directed at him. In all actuality, he could feel everyone discreetly staring at him. However, he ignored it all. Just as he had been doing for weeks.
Ever since Yagi Toshinori came back to work, he had not spoken more than necessary. He completely isolated himself and would only ever seem present during the classes he taught. Students haven’t heard the loud and boisterous laughter of their number one hero in weeks. His coworkers haven’t seen the nervous smile and anxious mumbling since he returned. But most importantly, a certain green haired boy hasn’t spoken to the man he viewed as a father in weeks. And it wasn’t from the lack of trying.
Izuku Midoriya tried with all his might to talk to the man. He cornered him after class, arrived early to training, asked more questions during class, and begged for a meeting. He had tried everything in his power to talk to him; But Yagi wasn’t having any of it. Midoriya was either directed away from the hero or blatantly ignored. No matter what he did or tried, the man would not talk to him. It took him crying in the arms of his dad and papa to fully release his emotions over the entire situation. He just wanted his father to know that he cared.
Every single teacher of UA knew that something was going on with All Might. It was almost as if there was a block happening right before them. Yagi Toshinori whenever he talked was still polite, but he never offered more than was asked of him. Before, he would be jumping at the thought of being more of service and proving his worth. But now? Now he was done and did not care about anything.
Once Yagi sat down at his desk and started working on his computer, it was silent for a whole two seconds before an enraged voice stated,“What the hell are you doing?”
“I beg your pardon?” Yagi responded, not taking his eyes off of his computer screen.
“What the hell are you doing dipshit?” the voice said again, even louder and angrier than before.
Temporarily taking his eyes off of his screen, he was able to see that the voice came from the one and only Eraserhead.
“I’m completing my work as you can see” He responded before once again staring at his computer.
“What is wrong with you?” Eraserhead fired again.
“Sho maybe this isn’t the time to-” Hizashi started but was soon cut off by his enraged husband. “No Hizashi, this is the perfect time. I want to know what’s up with the blonde buffoon right now. This has gone on long enough. Everyone here has walked on eggshells around him long enough. I want to know when he is planning to remove the stick that is so far stuck up his ass he can barely think correctly.”
“Sho please” Hizashi tried again, trying to get his husband to calm down since everyone was looking between them and All Might; Who still hadn’t looked away from his screen.
“So what is wrong with you?” Shouta snapped, getting up from where he sat and advancing towards Yagi.
Yagi Toshinori did not look away from his computer despite the entire ordeal. However, he couldn’t pretend to ignore the wrath of Eraserhead any longer since he now instead of being in his chair, was pushed up against a wall by two very angry fists.
He looked down to Eraserheads fury, blazing eyes and put a small smile laced with pain on his face.
“Eraser you win. Nothing is wrong. You win. I’m not going to fight with you. You don’t need to result to violence. You win and I am done.”
Yagi then calmly removed both fists from his shirt and started making his way out of the room, ignoring the stares from the other teachers.
“Done with what?” Shouta shouted again. Spurred on from the image of his son crying in his arms earlier this week.
Yagi had prided himself for staying strong these three weeks. He had felt somewhat accomplished for keeping his distance just as he said he would. But no matter how much pride he felt, the pain of longing would just not go away. He had a plan to be strong and avoid everyone for as long as he could. However, he apparently never planned for Eraserhead to stick his nose in his business. And because of that. Because it was him. He was furious
“I am just done okay” Yagi yelled, shocked by the pain that could be heard in his own voice. “What do you want from me, Eraser? Really what do you want from me? You told me to not speak to young Midoriya and keep my distance and I did. You told me to stop training him and I did. You told me to leave him alone and I did. I have done everything that you asked of me. I have done everything that you wanted from me. So what do you want? What more could you want from me? What more could I do for you? I have finally, finally taken your advice and stayed away from everything. I have kept to myself these past weeks. I haven’t harmed anyone. I haven’t hurt anyone. I haven’t done something unspeakable. So what have I done that offended the great Eraserhead? What have I done that apparently causes you so much anger you have to pin me against a wall?”
As Yagi finished his speech, every single teacher in the staff lounge was staring at him with their jaws dropped. Not because of what he said. No, it was because they had never heard such pain come from that man ever before. In fact, they never even knew the man could speak with pain in his tone since in person and on TV, he was nothing but happy.
“I want to know why the sudden change? I want to know why you have been hiding yourself?” Shouta added. Knowing if he was going to get any answers, this would be the time.
“You want to know why? Fine I’ll tell you,” Yagi shouted again, too encapsulated in his anger to realize he was spewing his trauma to an entire room of fellow heroes.
“Do you know what it’s like to be alone? Not the type of alone where you’re by yourself for a couple of days but then get bombarded with friends. I am talking about the type of alone where being in the hospital is better than being at home because then there are at least people to talk to. Do you know what it’s like to want something so much it hurts. To want something so much you beg and pray to anything and everything for you to have it and you still can’t. Do you know what it’s like to watch families and children interact with one another and the mere thought of someone being excited to see you, amazes you. Do you know what it’s like to rather be in danger than safe because being safe means being alone, and being alone hurts more than any injury. Do you have any possible idea how it feels to wake up all alone in the hospital with not even one person you could call a friend beside you. What it’s like to have no one. Not one person. Well, do you?
Shouta could only stare and offer a small “No” before Yagi continued his rant.
“No? Of course you don’t. Of course you have no idea. But guess what. I do. I know what it’s like. I know what it’s like to have no one in your corner. I know what it’s like to be so alone dying sounds more peaceful than living. I don’t have friends, I don’t have parents, I don’t have a significant other, I don’t have a child, I have no one. Not one person. I don’t have anyone to care about me. I don’t have anyone that would be worried about me. I don’t have anyone that wants me. You don’t know what it’s like but I do. I know. It’s my life. I was an orphan neglected and abused. I was a teenager trained and ignored. I was a hero used and discarded. I was all these things but never someone that another person wanted. I am not wanted. You want to know why I am hiding myself? Maybe because All Might, the person you hate so much, saved me. He didn’t do much. He couldn’t provide me much. But he was able to make the pain bearable. He was able to hide me. Hide the person who was unwanted in the world. He hid and protected me. He gave me a life that I could have never had by myself. I have no one in my life, but I was at least able to save people and keep them in another's. I don’t know who I am. I haven’t known since I put on that skintight suit and cape. But I do know that the closet I got to feeling like myself again was when I spent time with young Midoriya. He made me feel alive. He made me want to be alive. He made me remember what I wanted when I was younger. I wanted a family. I wanted a child. But being a hero endangers that and I couldn’t put the people I loved in danger. He made me feel again and I missed that feeling so much. But no matter what, he already has two fathers. He already has you and Yamada. And I was so jealous. I was jealous that you two could just come in and sweep him away. I was jealous and mad that the one thing I have ever wanted was taken away from me. I was angry that I lost the one chance I had to become a parent. But the truth is, he doesn’t need me; not anymore. He has you guys. He has a family. He doesn’t need me and it hurts like hell. So I am just done okay.”
By the time Yagi was finished with his speech, he was staring down at his feet, hands clenched by his sides, and shoulders dropped in defeat.
The entire staff lounge was just staring at him. Some with hands covering their mouths and others with pity in their eyes. Hizashi looked as if he was going to cry while Shouta stared at him with a glint of understanding.
“We’re not his fathers you know” Shouta quietly projected.
“What” Yagi uttered out, still standing defeated in the center of the room.
“We are Izuku’s parents. I am his Dad and Zashi is his Papa. But we are not his fathers; You are.”
Yagi Toshinori just stared at him awestruck.
“Bullshit” he uttered.
“No. Go ask him yourself. We are not his fathers. You are his father.”
Yagi still stood in the room with nothing but a face full of panic, fear, and sadness.
“I can’t be his father,” he sadly murmured.
“And why the fuck not,” Shouta intervened once again.
Yagi just looked at him as if he were crazy. “Didn’t you just hear what I said not even two minutes ago. I don’t know how to be a parent. I don’t know how to show love. I don’t know how to be me. How could I possibly be a father, a good father, if I don’t even know how to be a good friend.”
“Because you’re a hero,” interrupts Midnight of all people.
Yagi silently directed his gaze from Shouta to stare at the R-rated hero.
“What do you mean?” He asked
She gave off an unpleasant huff before standing up, making her way to Yagi, and politely slapping him across the face.
Now, everyone was stunned. Even Shouta, the unshakable hero.
“What was that for” he grumpily asked, while massaging his poor reddened cheek.
“That’s for talking about yourself that way.” Midnight responded with tears in her eyes. “How could you say such things about yourself? How could you stand here in a room full of people who admire you and tell us that you don’t matter. You matter. You matter to all of us. And we are so sorry you felt as if you could confide in us as friends. We didn’t want you to be uncomfortable so we gave you space. But that doesn’t mean we don’t care. You practically are the father of heroism. You have changed everyone of our lives. Whether it be through watching you on tv everyday or wanting to be you. You are mostly the reason why we can stand proudly here today. You matter, and I know that the green bean thinks a whole lot more of you. Yagi Toshinori, you matter.
He wouldn’t admit it, probably would never admit it, but he needed to hear those words more than anything. He needed someone to see him and say to him that he didn’t give who he was to society for nothing. And because he had finally heard those words, he couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
“Thank you Midnight, truly” he said before turning his attention to Shouta. “I don’t think I can get him back. I’ve done some awful things. I have said worse. I don’t think he’ll forgive me.”
“He’ll forgive you” Hizashi shot in, refusing to acknowledge his own teary eyes.
“How do you know that?” Yagi questioned.
“We just know,” the voice hero responded.
“Yeah but how?” Yagi questioned again.
“Jesus Christ,” Shouta groaned. “Because we are his dads, but you are his father. It will be fine, just go talk to him. I believe he’s on the bench under a tree by the gym.”
“I can’t be who he needs,” Yagi said again. One last attempt to make everyone around him see reason.
“You are exactly what that boy needs,” Hizashi responded. “Now go meet him. Go be his father.”
Yagi gave the first real smile in months before turning and hurriedly walking out of the lounge in the direction of his boy.
As he left the room, every teacher then turned their attention onto Shouta.
“What?” He grumpily asked, looking around at the faces.
“You are a softie,” cooed Midnight while walking in his direction.
“The fuck I am” he responded before grabbing his cup to pour more coffee into it.
“You can deny it all you want Sho, but the truth is, you’re softer than any of us here,” his husband stated, betraying him.
“Whatever” Shouta snarked back, completely turning his back to the room and continuing to pour coffee into his cup
From his position, no one could see the small genuine smile he had on his face. After all, Izuku Midoriya was his son, but All Might was his father. And if Inko Midoriya could give up her son just for him to have a better life, then he could give up a few evenings and weekends to make his son happy.
And if his husband saw his smile from the corner of his eye and started cackling at him, well, let’s just say he went in search of a water fountain.
Yagi Toshinori heard the boy before he saw him.
For some reason, sitting under a cherry blossom tree, Izuku Midoriya was crying.
“Young Midoriya?” He cautiously asked, not wanting to spook the boy or upset him further.
Izuku looked up for a split second and burst into more tears.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He chanted under his breath.
“What's wrong my boy?” Yagi asked again. However, it was almost as if his words were magic because all of sudden, Izuku stopped crying and was now looking up at him with reddened emerald green eyes.
“Say that again,” he pleaded.
“Say what again?” Yagi asked.
“I-uh-nevermind,” Izuku spewed, looking down at his feet.
“You want me to say my boy again?” Yagi spoke for clarification.
Izuku could only give a nod.
“Why?” Yagi genuinely asked. Confused on why the title meant so much.
Izuku Midoriya remained quiet for a few more minutes before he could no longer keep it in anymore.
“You haven’t called me that in so long,” he uttered, his tears starting up again. “For months you have just been calling me Midoriya or young Midoriya. For months you haven’t called me your boy. And maybe it’s a little weird. Maybe it’s not what you want to call me. But every time I hear it I feel safe. It’s almost as if I know you’re there and I know you’d protect me against everything. You have always been there. Even before UA. Even before I met my Dad and Papa. You trained me. You protected me. You gave me my dream. And I know, I know at first you took that dream away from me. You told me I couldn’t become a hero. You took that dream away but you also made it possible. I was angry at you. I was so incredibly angry that you could judge me so easily. But no matter if I gave you an attitude. No matter how I treated you, you were always there. You never missed one session. You never missed anything. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t realize that sooner. I was so angry and hurt that I couldn’t see properly. I started to realize it after I’ve gotten into UA but then other things were going on and then I started spending more time with Dad and Papa. And then they found out the truth and I had to stay away. I guess what I’m saying is that I'm sorry. I am so unbelievably sorry. Is there anyway, anyway at all you would maybe perhaps be my father? Or just be there more. I need you more than anything.”
Yagi Toshinori was starstruck. He was amazed and wanted more than anything to say yes. But he was also afraid. And because he was afraid, he voiced his fears to the boy.
“I don’t think I would be a very good father. You just told me yourself I ruined your dreams. I don’t understand what it’s like to show the proper emotions or do the right things. I don’t understand how to show I care as a parent. I never had any parents of my own and never experienced love. I might do something that will hurt you. I might do something that will upset you. Everything is just so new and I don’t want you to suffer more than I have already made you.”
Izuku Midoriya stared at him for a full five seconds before he broke out chuckling.
“What’s so funny?” Yagi asked, horrified.
“It’s just,” Midoriya started, trying to get his laughter under control. “It’s just you can sit there and say you don’t know how to be a parent, but I don’t believe you. And I get you’re scared. But I think all you have to do is keep showing up. You may not know what it’s like, but you know how it feels. And if you just keep doing what you did before, you will be the best father of all. I mean, you already are. You’re not my dad or my papa. But you’re my father. And I need you.”
Yagi Toshinori was a grown ass man, but he was crying as if he were a baby.
“I promise on my life to do my best son” He responded, smiling brighter than ever.
It was funny, his chest no longer felt as if he was miles below the surface. For the first time in his life, it was easy to breathe.
Yagi Toshinori was the greatest hero to ever live.
He was strong, compassionate, but most of all caring. However, he had never known the love of a parent or affection of a family. Everything was so new to him at his old age that it frightened him more than anything.
But with his son by his side, the boy who dreams he had once crushed, he knew he could conquer all of the new emotions.
And maybe, just maybe, he would be able to find the family he had always dreamed of.
Because Yagi Toshinori was a hero, but he was a human first, and every human needs at least one person.
He was a human who spent his life searching for someone to call his own.
And the boy with dark green hair and light green eyes was exactly who he had been searching for.
He finally had someone to call his own.
He had someone who would cry for him. Who would be by his side when he was injured and who would make sure he was doing alright. He had someone who wanted to be next to him.
For the first time in his life, he had one person who he knew would always be there.
For the first time ever, he finally had a son to call his own.
And if Shouta decided to tease Yagi here and there about having a stronger relationship with the boy, well, let’s just say the water fountain was always available.