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Luke knows he's gonna have to do it one day.
Luke knows that, one day, whenever that may be, maybe it's tonight, maybe it's tomorrow, maybe it's next week, maybe it's next year, he's going to have to break Percy Jackson's heart. Whenever that day comes, he's going to have to look at Percy, tell him about the next generation of Gods, the rise of the Titans, and rip his little heart apart, tell himself he's not gonna live to see it. He's gonna have to kill Percy Jackson one day, strike him with a sword and actually mean it, tell him how stupid he is for believing in Gods, for believing in his dad and all the stupid lies he's been fed. Poor boy's frail, poor boy's been starving, and the propaganda he's been fed isn't going to sustain him much longer-
His train of thought is derailed when Percy's sword clashes with his own, snapping out of his thoughts as he tries to regain his composure, the sound of metal filling his ears as he fights back, his heart pounding inside his chest like a drum- flinching back, lost in a trance as the world spins.
Percy grins, "And you always tell me I need to focus!" Like demi-gods could ever focus, he bites the inside of his cheek.
"I let you get that one," Luke says, trying to swallow the bitterness on his tongue. "You're a frail kid, Percy. You need to toughen up." It's not that he's trying to be mean or something, but he knows that first hand, feeling like the frail, fragile glass skinned boy he was a few years ago. Of course, his glass cracked when Thalia sacrificed herself, and broke when the dragon scratched him, but fully shattered when he realized that the Gods don't truly care, his dad doesn't truly care. And this is something that Percy Jackson is going to have to know, going to have to know that you do, indeed, have a dad after he's been absent in your life- he just doesn't care enough to be in your life at all, especially now that you know who he is.
"Sure I do," the kid says, and it makes his blood boil, because, how dare he? The kid is cocky, too sure of himself while also not being sure enough of himself- it pains Luke to say that Percy reminds him of himself, the sound of swords clanking together fills his ears, and he's sure that he can hear his blood flowing, hear his heart beating in his chest like a drum. "You've got alot of potential, Percy," he says, almost too potential, using all of his strength to not lick his lips as he imagines just exactly what Peresus "Percy" Jackson is capable of, if he saw past the lies, saw the truth- the Gods are lying, the Gods don't care. But even in their similarities, he knows that he and Percy are not the same. Percy has a golden heart, even if he is stubborn. He's a true hero, he's going to win the end, isn't he? Luke doesn't want to believe it, because he doesn't want to think about the end. He wants to be here, right now, forever, to meet their blades together for an eternity- reminding him that when the final battle comes, they're going to be doing this. By then, the kid's gonna have some meat on his bones, and that's why he needs to kill him, to wipe him off the face of the planet, destroy him if he doesn't convert, and he knows he never will, because Percy isn't pathetic like him.
Electric storm eyes, Luke knows he isn't worth it, bitterness coating his mouth as he thinks about the future, even as he's currently swordfighting with the kid he knows whose heart he's gonna crush, knowing that in the future, it won't be practice. In the future, if Percy Jackson is alive, they'll swing swords, like they're doing right now. He will rise about it all, though, like the phoenix. They rise from their own ashes, and he wants to do that, he wants to die and he wants to come back, he wants to be forgotten and he wants to be remembered as the greatest threat to the Gods in history, all showing through the cracked pieces of his psyche. One day, this will all just end, but the war never truly stops, the scars littering his body, self made or not, remind him everyday, especially the one on his face. Honest to all the Gods he doesn't believe in, he is going to break Percy Jackson's heart, rip him to pieces and tear him apart, just another Greek tragedy. Even when it ends, even when Luke Castellan is defeated and Percy Jackson remains victorious, like he knows he will, it'll be remembered forever, even if his mother doesn't know, and he knows he won't be seen as sympathetic.
Luke Castellan is not sympathetic. He is a monster, he is a hunter, he is sick and tired of everything, so, he'll take matters into his own hands. He'll start a revolution, he'll kill thousands and millions, all just to prove the Gods wrong, to make everybody suffer like he did. Millions of scars means millions of dead bodies, and he is not scared to do it, his morality slipping away each and every day, every second he spends looking at Percy's face, especially as their swords meet, again and again, knowing they'll always see each other, even if one of both of them are in the afterlife. He'll get revenge, no matter what. He'll make Percy's life a living Hell, until he's finally destroyed, sabotage him in little ways. It's the perfect plan. He doesn't want to see him live, because there are strings that tug on his heart, makes him ache everytime he thinks about the 12 year old, every sensation reminding him that no, he isn't a heartless monster- he is a broken boy at heart, and he wants to forget everything about it.
"Nice moves, Luke." He speaks so highly of him, looking at him with bright, shiny eyes, as if he's in front of a celebrity, or dare he say, God- it doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense at all, but he knows that Percy does, because Percy is ignorant to what he's planning. Everybody is ignorant to what he's planning, and that makes him feel powerful, makes his guts clench, all twisting together in a way that makes him feel unusual. "Thanks," he says, keeping his voice cold and steady, making the 12 year old blush. "You have nice moves too, but we still need to work on them." He says, giving him a surprise cut, clashing the sword against his-
"Hey- no fair-"
"Life isn't fair, Percy," he says, because he knows this better than anybody. Why does fate have to do this to him? Why is every great love story a Greek tragedy? Why do they have to be like this? Luke desperately wants to give Percy a hug, to tell him how much he means to him, to be close to him and tell him everything about himself, but even if he is a broken boy, that does not change a single bit. Luke Castellan is a monster. He will rip and tear Percy into a million pieces, rip and tear him apart, until there is no Percy Jackson. Maybe in another life, they could've been something, maybe could've been something normal, maybe if Luke wasn't broken, if he was perfect- in a picture perfect world where Gods do care, then maybe that'd be lovely, the idea wanting to make him smile. But, unfortunately, this is not that world, and Luke Castellan must desperately kill Percy Jackson, before he can destroy him more than he's ever been destroyed. The humiliating quest leaving him disfigured should've been enough, but his heart aches, heart burns and it's just not fucking fair-
He should die. He should've died already. He should've died in that fucking quest, he wasn't meant to meet Percy. Now, their dates are intertwined, and they must destroy each other, even if the poor frail boy isn't aware of it yet, completely oblivious to how toxic he truly is. This is poison. Everything about this is poisonous. Luke is venomous. Luke is poisonous. Everything about Luke Castellan makes him a monster, makes him heartless, because Percy Jackson has decided to steal his dark heart for himself, and the kid isn't even aware of how badly he wants to kill him. It is taking all of his might not to fucking snap and shove the sword deep into him. This is all going to happen one day, and he isn't ready for it, because he doesn't want him to slip away, wanting to spend as much time with him until he has to go, ruining everything forever and always. It'll be permanent. He can never go back from this, he'll never listen. He is too bitter and stubborn for it, too fueled by hate for every God there is, especially for his father, and now, he hates Percy Jackson more than anything. This 12 year old doesn't know how much he's ruining his life, how much he's resisting the urge to just hurt him now- because really, Luke doesn't want to hurt him, atleast not right now, anyway. It's all about time and place.
Even if he knows that the revolution is coming, he puts it off, for another day, until everything can go perfectly, and Luke can spend more time believing in Percy, even if he doesn't believe in anything but Kronos, and the blood that stains his hands, knowing that, one day, it'll be his- wishes that Percy will just shove the sword inside him, stop the war before it's even truly begun. Afterall, one day, this will end, and Luke doesn't want it to as much as he needs it to. After all the nights of revenge, after everything he'll do to make the Greek Gods and demi-gods suffer, to make the world perfect for the Titans, it'll end, and Luke Castellan will love Percy Jackson forever, because hate is just love, and love is always a Greek tragedy, is it not?