Chapter Text
The beautiful thing about Thursday was that it was the slowest day of the week by far. Now, slow may not be good for most people. They say it’s boring to go slow, that there’s too much that could be entertaining them. Well, to that I say, ‘hogwash’ or something that rings equally of grumpy-old-ladyship.
On Thursdays, I can focus on tiny little trifles….things like, enjoying the smell of the bread as it bakes.
I get here hella early to make sure there’s fresh bread rising, cakes and pies going in the oven, croissant and pastry dough always got special attention before they went into the oven, and by then the bread had risen and the first batch of nearly everything was ready to go in.
My only early bird comes in to help me handle morning rush, which isn’t nearly as pressing as Sunday through Wednesday rush. Then she goes to classes and I am left with my mysterious customer man, the king of the frumpy sweaters.…. Who I like to observe and fantasize about. He came in always on Thursdays and ordered coffee, sometimes a croissant, and sat with his laptop and typed…incessantly. Nothing could distract him. And I had not even attempted it. In fact, I would often waft by him and refill his coffee. He was always so focused that he never seemed to notice.
But now I’ve gotta take a break from that, because the Orsino order won’t fill itself. Two loaves of freckle-bread to go, as per the usual. After bagging up the order, oh look at that. Four minutes have passed.
I felt my body relax as I closed my eyes. It was warm and there were no bad smells. Life was good in this moment. I felt time passing and didn’t care. One day, I don’t know when, I would be in such bitter turmoil…and I’d remember this moment when I could stand in the sun with my eyes closed enjoying the smell of my patisserie. In this moment, I had all the things I needed to be content and I made no apologies to anyone.…like that lesbian chick on that V for Vendetta movie.
The chime attached to the front door tinkled softly.
“Well, well, well. Look at you, Kitten.” I heard Bella’s voice before I smelled her natural whiskey aroma. “You look just like a fairy tale princess in need of a kiss to break a curse.”
I chuckled, opening my eyes with a grin which blew into a full on goofy smile. “Merrill!” I chirped darting forward to hug the tiny elf. Merrill danced into my arms with a giggle.
“Oh sure. I drive us all the way here, but it’s all about Merrill.” Isabella murmured, faking a wounded expression.
Merrill only giggled at her before opening up the hug.
“Well get in here then.” I said, a little worried about the smirk Isabella was giving us…. It was her patented ‘up to no good’ smirk…which could manifest towards a number of behaviors.
Sure enough, Merrill and I squealed and pranced out of the huddle after Isabella goosed us both.
“Fiend.” I accused with little heat. She oozed smugness, completely unrepentant. It was simply Isabella’s way not to be very repentant for anything though. “What are you two doing here?”
“Merrill here just got herself a job at that snazzy new greenhouse.” Isabella informed while Merrill preened bashfully.
“Congratulations!”
“Thank you.” Merrill said absently wringing her hands. “It’s nothing really.”
“It’s a better quality job, love.” I reminded. “A long way from baby sitting.”
“I suppose it’s a different type of nursery.” Merrill giggled, and I couldn’t help but laugh along with her.
I noticed Isabella’s amber eyes settled on a point across the room, and looked over.
My gaze met his Majesty of the Frumpy Sweater empire. His eyes widened just slightly before returning to his laptop, hurriedly typing. I felt bad for distracting him from his work, what with all the noise we were making. It was irregular for a Thursday…
I snapped out of my stare when Isabella’s hip bopped against mine. Her eyes seemed so delightfully rougish. I gave her an indulgent but still slightly reproachful look in hopes she wouldn’t harrass my customers. He was a regular after all…..a regular that I regularly fantasized about in spite of the fact that I knew nothing about him.
“You know what we need?” I said, in hopes of inciting a diversion. “We need….” I paused for dramatic effect before rushing through, “some cheeseburger pickle pie!”
“Oooh!” Merrill cooed happily. It was one of her favorites…which was so bizarre it hurt, but eh.
It’s whatever.
It’s actually really good, but so many people are turned off by the name that they don’t touch it….which meant I always had extra….which was great, because it was filling. Great on food breaks for the employees and when friends stopped by.
“Uh…sure.” Isabella said, her face hilariously confused. “I know I’m not driving any time soon.”
“I thought you said you drove up here.” I said, making my way behind the counter.
“I did…. Stole Varric’s car.” She said looking satisfyingly smug.
“Now, did you really steal it, or did you just borrow it?”
“…Ok, I may have mentioned Daisy’s interview late last night after about 3 bottles of brandy, but that really isn’t here or there, Kitten.”
I chuckled. Oh. Isabella. She and Varric had the strangest relationship. “If he knew it had something to do with Merrill, then I’m sure he doesn’t mind.” I said.
“Indeed….hey…is this bread just laying out here for no reason?” Isabella asked as she passed by the register.
“Oh, the freckle-bread? It’s for Orseno.”
“Orseno?” Merrill chirped softly. “The same Orseno who coordinates the Kirkwall Coalition of Mages with the Templars Alliance?”
“Oooooh. Well connected aren’t you, Kitten?”
I barked out a laugh.
On a scale from Chihuahua to Mastiff, I was probably a Corgi… I hoped. Damn, but I loved corgis.
“Please.” I said, placing three slices of the CPP into the warmer. “I sell bread to the elf. It’s not like I advise him on political movements.” I smiled warmly at them as they cozied up to the barstools that lined the right side of the counter. “How about a couple of ginger ales to go with that?”
“My my my, you do know how to spoil a girl, Kitten.” Isabella cooed, and I chuckled.
The door chime tinkled again. “Hello there.” Orseno said as he moved through.
“Good day, First Enchanter.” I said happily.
“Good day to you as well, Serrah.” Orseno said with a soft smile.
“I have your freckle-bread right here, and as a celebration for my friend here,” I said, motioning towards Merrill. “There’s a free slice of cheeseburger pickle pie as well as a free ginger ale if you’d like it.”
Orseno seemed to take this in stride, his smile growing and then wilting in confusion before upturning again. “Oh! How…happy? What is the occasion?”
“I’m the newest worker at the High Town Botanical Nursery.” Merrill said, her head ducking bashfully.
“Well that is fantastic!” Orseno praised. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“And as thrilling as that sounds, I uh… I have lunch plans. But the ginger ale does sound delightful.”
“Absolutely! I’ll get you one to-go.” I said, filling it quickly. Money changed hands for his freckle-bread, and I handed over a free ginger ale.
“You ladies have a nice day.” He said pleasantly before going on his way.
“You as well, Messere.” I called as he left. I handed Isabella and Merrill their pies, and noticed a strange eye twitch from Isabella. Merrill was happily feasting, so she didn’t catch it at all.
Isabella’s gaze kept darting to the my fantasy sweater man. I narrowed my eyes to keep her in line… I hoped. And drifted around the counter.
His eyes weren’t on the computer…. Which was odd. He never looked away form it usually.
And it was the second time our eyes had met in this half hour alone. I couldn’t break away now.
“I’m so sorry if we’re disturbing you.” I said.
“Not at all.” He said. Ugh…his voice was…nice. I mean, it wasn’t sternum vibrating like Fen’s was, but it was rich and very easy on the ears.
“Um. Would like a free piece of cheeseburger pickle pie and a ginger ale to celebrate my friends new job.”
My mouth went dry as his eyes narrowed over my face. Oh. Dear.
I swallowed thickly.
This was a mistake.
“I.” He began slowly. “Would love… some cheeseburger pickle pie and a ginger ale.”
“Really?” I asked, my smile must’ve been huge because it was making my cheeks ache. He smiled almost in a conspiratory fashion and nodded. “Great!” I darted back around the counter, taking the third piece of pie (the one that I’d technically singled out for myself) and then fixed up a ginger ale before bringing it to him with a fork. “Enjoy!”
Too much.
Too fast.
Gotta take cover.
I quickly pranced behind the counter, while trying to look like I wasn’t trying to take cover behind the counter…. Consider how ‘smooth’ I usually was, this meant I was probably flailing like an excited muppet.
Isabella knew… Because Bella knows things about things. It’s like she has a nose for pheromones or something.
Bleah.
Bella’s…intuitive.
Definitely an ENFJ on that personality test thingy.
So Extraverted it hurt, but very intuitive and feeling and judgy.
Not to say that she was always right. She’d assumed that Aveline was a lesbian, and that was just not so. Donnic could endorse that. Also, she’d assumed Fen was gay, but he was bi…go figure.
But she had been right about many things. Well. Enough things that she assumed she was right about most things.
….though, I suppose that’s everyone, now that I think about it.
Anyway, she was giving me ‘knowing’ eyes. Which meant she thought she knew something… and she probably did, which was the worst part.
“So, you have to make it to the celebration at the Hanged Man this weekend, Kitten. No excuses.”
Oh shit.
“Uh.”
“Oh! Was there going to be a party?” Merrill asked, her large eyes so much wider with excitement….which was an accomplishment, because they were so wide and doe-like normally.
…Well shit. Now I couldn’t say no could I?
Technically, there was a celebration at the Hanged Man every Saturday, and we were all invited to imbibe and be merry.... It'd been a while since I'd visited with everyone though.
“…yeah. Yeah, I think I can make it.” I said with less confidence than I felt. Honestly, I could make it, but parties at the Hanged Man tended to run into the wee hours of the morning…which left me little time to sober up and then make it back here….it’d been a while since my last ‘all nighter’.
Uh-oh. Bella’s eyes were doing that irresistible sparkle thing. What was she—
“You should come too.” She called sweetly over to my mystery sweater typer customer. “We’d love to have you come and celebrate with us, Tiger.”
Tiger?
Grrreat.
I was just about to open my mouth to try and chuckle off Bella’s invitation when—
“That sounds like fun.” He said with a smile, and equally knowing eyes.
“Oh yes! Do come!” Merrill said with a smile. She always liked meeting new people.
Fuck.
Me.
I felt a mental sigh build up in my brain. I wasn’t ready to release that sigh yet, but… well. Better now than later, I guess.
I reminded myself that the point of having fantasies about him was that he was anonymous and safe.
That eventually I’d have to let that go, like I always did.
…It still stung a bit.
But I kept smiling softly behind the register.
…Maybe it would be nice to know him as more than the ridiculously baggy-sweater customer who comes in every Thursday and types out what must be novels fueled only by my coffee. My circle of friends was lacking the frumpy-sweater category anyway.
…Maybe.
“Exactly when is this shindig?” he said.
Oh. God.
That was the cutest thing I’d ever heard.
“It’ll be at the Hanged Man.”
“I know the place.” He said with a smirk.
“Around 9ish this Saturday.” Bella supplied.
He was nodding. “I can definitely manage that.” He said with an easy smile, his warm golden brown eyes drifting to mine.
I felt myself blushing.
Like, I just knew that I was.
No way my face feels this hot for no reason.
Damn.
My eyes darted back to Merrill.
“I’m so glad.” Merrill said, a big ball of vibrating joy at this point. “I love meeting new friends.”
It was true.
I waited expectantly for the sigh to release.
It was something that always happened, and in great frequency when around certain individuals.
I’d made my own process for coping. Gather up all those unwanted feelings, and release them in a single mental sigh of longing while acknowledging reality.
…But the sigh wasn’t there. I could still feel that pent-up feeling in my brain but…
…There was no release.
Damn.
Another sound, near the back entry way caught my attention. “Oh! That’s…probably Orana. I’ll just uh..” I pushed my way through the door to the scullery with all the grace of an inebriated velociraptor.
I could hear Merrill start to ask Sweater-Man a question, but sighed now that there was a physical barrier that separated me from him. I really need that sigh to just release right about now. I didn’t want to remind myself how horrible I handled certain types of pressure. I already knew that flailing would continue until I could just get over this.
I turned my cheeks into a pufferfish and slowly let air out.
It didn’t help, but who knows? Maybe visualizing the ‘sighing’ process would help things along.
I walked into the back and found Orana clocking in on her time card.
“Hello, boss.” She said with a smile.
“Hey. Bella and Merrill are up front.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Merrill got a new job, so as long as she’s here I’m handing out free cheeseburger pickle pie and ginger ale.”
“That’s kind, boss.”
“I thought so.”
“What are you doing back here?” Bella asked, making me jump and whirl.
“Blessed Andraste at the Stake.” I groaned, still breathing fast.
“There is a perfectly adorable man out there, perfectly interested in you, and you’re hiding back here?” Bella asked.
“There’s a man up front?” Orana asked, curiosity making her already wide eyes wide. What is it with elves and wide eyes anyway?
“It’s the Thursday Regular.” I said at last.
“Ah. Him.” Orana smiled serenely.
“Did you just leave Merrill up there?” I asked Bella, who still looked far too superior and judgy.
“Of course I did. She’s having a fun conversation about elf root and chamomile with him.”
“…Seriously?”
“Something about a healing tea.” Bella swatted the air dismissively. “That’s not the point! What are you doing back here, if you could be up there having a conversation with him? He’s obviously into you.”
“Please.” I grunted. “He barely notices me.”
“That’s not what I saw.” Bella said with a naughty smirk. That was another look she did very well. “He was eyeing you every chance he could, Kitten. Which was often since you were pointedly ignoring him.”
“Obviously, it was because we were disturbing him. Making noise. It’s beside the point.”
“What’s going to be beside the point is when he shows up at the Hanged Man for the party.” Bella said confidently.
“He probably accepted that just to be nice.”
“You mean like how he ate that entire cheeseburger monstrosity to be nice?”
I shook my head, rolling my eyes. “We’re not having this discussion. And I’m going to try and play it cool when I go back out there again.” I electric slided past her. “And you, stop being so pushy.”
Back through the scullery door. That door was taunting me with it’s swaying, not quite a barrier status. It made Chewbacca noises every time it swung shut.
“And then she says to me, ‘Merrill, dove, you have to let the tea steep for at least 20 minutes for the properties to get good and married’. So I says to her, ‘But by then the tea would be cold, and that would just be dreadful to drink, I think.’ And she says, “Och, of course it would if you simply poured hot water into a glass and let a bag sit in it! You have to boil the tea water on a stove and let the tea sit in it while it’s on low heat. Then, after 20 minutes you can pour it into a cup and drink it down!’.”
“Huh!” he said, rubbing his chin and maintaining some serious eye contact. “I’ve always steeped my tea in a mug.”
“Me too! But evidently there’s a whole different way of making it that’s more direct. Also, you can put an abundance of ingredients into a cheese cloth and make a really strong brew, and then pour that into a pitcher and dilute it with water, and have an whole pitcher of tea.”
He was nodding. “That answers a lot of questions actually.”
Merrill looked over to me and smiled. “Andy here is in to different forms of holistic medicine.”
…Andy?
“Holistic medicine?” Bella asked.
“Like acupuncture and massages?” I asked. My genuine curiosity was something that couldn’t be contained, even in the face of common sense. I wanted to die the minute the question left my mouth.
“Something like that.” He said with a smile. “Would you like a massage?” He asked, looking very pleased at the suggestion.
Oh…
Bella’s words and looks started ricocheting inside my brain.
Oh dear.
That would be the horrible nigglings of hope clawing against my sternum.
I tried to smile, but still shuffled and made ridiculous aborted half laughing noises. “I uh… I don’t know anyone who doesn’t.”
I froze, tensing slightly as I felt something warm at my back. It took a moment to realize it was Bella, and I was ok. But I still half glared at her in the most bored fashion I could manage.
“Our widdle Crystal needs a good message.” She cooed as she rested her chin on my shoulder. “She’s so tense from having to help everyone, and manage the whole fucking world.” I rolled my eyes.
“Your name’s Crystal?” He asked, which snapped me out of my funk only a bit. “Is that why there are so many sun catchers in here?” He pointed vaguely towards the crown molding while rotating his wrist. There were several sun catchers in different colors and types hanging in the windows. Some of them refracted light into lovely little rainbows and some didn’t…but I loved them all.
I blinked, honestly surprised that he’d noticed. “Uh. Yeah. My dad…” I felt my throat tighten, but braved the battle anyway. “He was an artist. Glass blowing was his thing, and he’d… he made me a bunch of them so.” I shrugged.
“That’s amazing.” He said, his face looking so… so kind. It was a type of warmth that neither Bella or Varric or anyone I knew to be warm had. It was so comforting though… and I forgot about my nerves for approximately five seconds. “And I’m afraid I have to be off now.” He said, standing up. When had he put his laptop away? “But I’m looking forward to seeing you at this party.”
“Ah yes. The party. Wouldn’t miss it.” I shifted restlessly. I dithered, sweet Andraste how I dithered. Did I really have to go?… As if I were outside my own body, I saw my hand reach out and gently brush his elbow. And then jerk away, of course, because in the half second that sanity had left me, it returned with screaming vengeance. I tried not to implode, but I really couldn’t help but clench my arms around me as though I were cold.
He smiled, and it made his eyes crinkle. Which made me want to rub my check against that spot between his shoulder blades that he so often needed to bend back and forth when he typed too long.
Oh, this was just miserable.
“I look forward to it.” He said. He looked between Bella and Merrill. “Ladies.” He said with a nod before sauntering away.
Once the door was closed I made a nosey horse-sigh, because sometimes a breathy sigh just isn’t enough. You’ve gotta smack your lips together to convey exactly how disgruntled and flustered you are.
Flisgrunfles.
Bella was practically clapping. “Excellent!” She cheered. “Now we just need to plan your outfit for Saturday. Really knock him dead.”
“No.” I groaned hobbling over to the counter.
“Oh, are we helping Crystal get Andy?” Merrill asked, perched against the edge of her stool.
“No!” I groaned louder, my head hitting the countertop.
“Great things never came in comfort zones, Kitten.” Bella said, as if she could remind me that she was wise or something. She wasn’t.
“Oh, I’ll just embroider that into a pillow then, shall I?” I snipped. “Honestly! As if I don’t have enough to worry about. What would I even do with another fully functioning human being to fret over?”
“I could give you a list of things to do with that fully functioning human being. Perhaps send you a link with a few instructional videos.” Bella said, her hips swaying as she sashayed closer.
“But you will be coming to the party, won’t you, Crystal?” Merrill asked, fidgeting in a flightily sort of Merrill fashion. “It’s not an inconvenience or anything?”
“No. I mean, yes. I mean.. Of course I’m coming to the party.” I messaged my temples lightly.
“And you’re not going to show up with low-town frump as your base fashion, right?” Bella asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. “You wouldn’t do that to me.”
“I don’t know why my fashion sense reflects on you.”
“Do you really want to show up at the Hanged Man looking horrible if everyone’s going to be there to celebrate?”
“I’m an adult!” I said, flouncing for effect. “Now, if it’s alright with you, I have payroll to look at.” I said just as Orana came through the scullery door.
And I had to plan for an outfit…damn.