Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Dean gripped the steering wheel of his beloved Impala so hard the leather creaked. Too hard, he might have said on any other day but not today. Dean was so mad he could hardly see straight.

He had left the house he and Lisa rented together in Redwood City in a fit of rage, scared that he might hurt her if he stayed and even more scared that he kind of wanted to hurt her. To make her feel just a little smidge of the pain he felt, even if it would be briefly.

Dean and Lisa had been in a relationship for most of Dean’s adult life and yeah, Sam constantly referred to their relationship as disastrous and maybe he had been right all along but Dean loved Lisa so he didn’t care what his little brother thought. No, it didn’t matter that Lisa had cheated on Dean that one time a couple of years back and everyone, everyone, called Dean an idiot for taking her back when she came crying because he loved her. So much.

But this was it. Dean had always believed Lisa was the love of his life but he wasn’t so certain anymore. All long-term relationships were bound to hit a bump or two in the road, everyone agreed on that but this…

So Lisa had cheated that one time but one time was nothing, Dean had told himself even though he would never do anything like that. He had slept on Sam’s couch for a week and then she had come crying and he had forgiven her much faster than she deserved, according to everyone else. And they had patched things up and rented this house and they had been happy. Mostly. Well, everyone had their bumps, right?

And then she had gotten pregnant and Dean had been ecstatic. A little kid, a little mini-Dean and oh boy, Dean had set out to paint the nursery and assemble the crib and not listen one bit to Sam’s nagging.

Was it wise to have a child with Lisa?
Why wouldn’t it be?

So their relationship wasn’t perfect but they were going to have a child together and they were happy and-and…

And Lisa just told him the child wasn’t his. Screamed it, in fact, in a fit of what the hell do you know, you’re not even the father-rage.

To be fair, he should have kind of seen it coming when Lisa told him that she was over three months pregnant instead of telling him immediately. And they hadn’t exactly been having a lot of sex and Dean couldn’t remember a time they had had it without a condom so sure, he had been confused but she had smiled and told him that if it was a boy they would call him Ben and Dean could take him to baseball games and teach him everything about cars. Dean had swallowed the bait, hook and all, because a family with Lisa sounded like everything he never knew he wanted but totally did now.

Except maybe it wasn’t. Except she had cheated on him again, and had gotten pregnant and had tried to pass the baby off as his and had yelled at him that he was a coward of a man if he walked out on her because of those things alone. He had gone anyway, too afraid of his own reactions to stay.

He shook with anger as he sat behind the wheel in what felt like the only lady that would ever love him and he had to pull over so as not to crash her. He took a deep breath and leaned over the wheel to try and contain his emotions. Rage, sadness, abandonment, self-hate. Yeah, Dean really wasn’t in a good place right now.

And he had stormed out of his home without any clothes or anything, what the hell would he do now? Go to mom and dad? God, Mary would just be all motherly and suffocate him with questions he couldn’t deal with right now. And what would John say? Dean wasn’t so sure what the man thought of Lisa but he knew that the old marine believed strongly that real men didn’t flee their problems, so...

Fuck, Dean needed to collect his thoughts and for once in his fucking existence he actually felt a need to voice some of them. The unfairness, if nothing else, because fuck this was unfair. He had only ever loved Lisa, why wasn’t that enough?

Should he go to the Roadhouse? Get hammered and talk about his woes to Jo? No, Jo already hated Lisa and he wouldn’t get any sympathy there, only tough love. But wasn’t that what he needed? He had always been a fan of tough love and the lessons that could teach. Or… or was it John that favored that kind of love? Mary would always hug him but John…

Dean hiccupped but managed not to continue down a path that would set him crying in his car. He was a grown-ass man for fuck’s sake. Grown men didn’t cry over shit like this. No, he straightened in his seat, he would not cry over Lisa or the baby or the family that could have been. He was leaving her, for good, and he needed to stay somewhere where he could collect his thoughts and there was only one place that would be.

He picked up his phone and wondered if he should call Sammy before heading over. He had a key but there was no telling if Jess was over or if Sam was in one of his study modes. Perhaps… he thumbed the phone indecisively. Perhaps he should go somewhere else for now and head over to Sam’s in the evening? He needed to calm his inner turmoil before he attempted to collect his thoughts anyway. But where should he go for now?

Not his parents, not the Roadhouse, not work because Bobby would kill him for skipping today without any prior notice, not Benny’s because last time Lisa had cheated on Dean Benny had taken her side in the argument and fuck knew why. Dean had never gotten to know who exactly Lisa had slept with and for all Dean knew now in his rage fueled moment his best friend was as likely to be the father of Lisa’s kid as any other man.

Dean didn’t know where to go. He slumped down behind his Baby’s wheel but not even her pleasant rumble could calm him now. He felt like crying but just couldn’t. He sighed.

And then promptly jumped almost an inch into the air when there was a sharp rap on the window on the passenger side. Dean clutched his chest as he turned shocked eyes to meet a pair of strikingly blue ones on the other side of the window. The man outside the car smiled kindly at Dean and tapped the window again. Dean considered just driving away but decided to just go with it and bent over to roll down the window.

The man leaned in when Dean sat back. Hey there stranger. The man greeted in a deep voice and Dean took a calming breath.

Hiya. He mumbled and swallowed but didn’t get to continue when the man started talking again.

Are you alright? You’ve been sitting here for nearly ten minutes.

Oh. Dean looked around himself and saw that he was parked by the curb on a street he’d never really driven on before. It was downtown, though, he knew as much and was suddenly a little uncomfortable. Yeah, yeah, I’m fi— he cut himself off when he met the man’s eyes again.

The man had tilted his head to the side and was considering Dean as if Dean’s words were the most important ones he would ever hear. As if Dean mattered. Dean felt the lump in his throat grow bigger.

You know what? he asked quietly and looked down at the dashboard. I’m not okay.

No? the man asked and fuck, he sounded both concerned and as if he would love nothing more than for Dean to continue.

No. Dean croaked. He looked up when the man tapped the door.

Do you mind if I sit down?

This… this was not normal, Dean understood that. It was dangerous, even. He never strayed too long downtown because that was where you got mugged, if Mary was to be believed. Not even John was fond of downtown Redwood City.

But Dean decided to fuck it. For one, it was in the middle of the day and the street wasn’t exactly empty. There were several cars going by, plenty of pedestrians, shops open. There was even a bloke watching Dean’s car from the street corner so Dean knew that he wasn’t alone. Plus, the love of his life had just told him she was pregnant with another man’s child, he honestly didn’t really care if he was mugged and shanked today.

He made a noncommittal shrug and the man smiled again before he opened the door and slid in with practiced ease. Dean wondered what he did for a living because no one moved as fluidly as that without actually working with their body. The man looked a little thin, though, and Dean wondered if that too was because of his occupation. If he was a dancer, for instance, then Dean assumed he would have to stay thin and lithe.

And where the fuck had that thought come from? Dean shook his head slightly as the man pulled the car door closed and smiled again. He had a wide and white smile, inviting and trusting. His eyes were blue as something more blue than what Dean had vocabulary to describe. He had bags under his eyes, though, his dark hair was ruffled and maybe he was a little pale. But still, even if he was tired or whatever he had still taken his time to ask Dean if he was okay and Dean hadn’t known random kindness like that since he was a child.

Dean looked away, embarrassed that he had stared at the man’s open face.

Do you want to talk about it? the man asked after a moment in silence and Dean studied his hands.

You know… he cleared his throat. Normally I would say no, but…

It’s okay. The man said in such an assuring tone that Dean thought maybe it was. Do you want to get out of here, maybe? he asked then and Dean suddenly remembered that he had left Baby’s engine running for over ten minutes. He felt like an ass.

Y-yeah. He mumbled and turned out into the street.

The man gave a few directions and Dean actually followed them. Without questioning this. What the hell was he doing, though? He was being an idiot, that was what. Picking up random strangers and driving off with them, probably setting himself up to be murdered after all. He was just a heartsick, tired idiot.

The spot the man led him to was quite a bit out of town, up on a hill in West Meadow and near where Dean knew a lookout was. They had a great view of Redwood, maybe not as great as the lookout but good enough and more secluded. It was weird, though. A weird place to take another man to but of course, this whole deal was pretty weird. He killed the ignition all the same.

Look. Dean said after a moment in silence and only then dared turn to the man. This is… I… he looked up to see the man still staring just as trusting at him. Fuck, Dean felt like the shady one. I should just take you back.

The man put his arm up on the back of the seat, easily resting his hand close to Dean’s shoulder but not touching. Let me guess. The man smiled warmly. You’re not one for talking?

Dean stared dumbfounded at him. Yeah.

The man shrugged. That’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. He slid closer and the leather creaked a little. You just looked really forlorn and I thought I’d help you with that.

How? Dean asked and had meant it to sound angry, perhaps. Or maybe at least questioningly, like he didn’t believe the man but God help him, he totally did.

The man smiled. You look like you either lost a lot of money or your heart. He stated suddenly and Dean swallowed before looking away, clutching Baby’s wheel again.

Heart. He ground out after a moment but couldn’t for the life of him say why he indulged this strange man. He saw the man nodding.

Feels a little like dying, yes?

Yeah.

The man had slid so close that his hand could easily touch Dean’s left shoulder but still wasn’t. Was just resting against the back. Dean could almost feel the heat the man radiated but despite the warm summer outside and the increasing temperature inside the car he didn’t feel suffocated. He remained where he was.

Feels like you have nothing to lose now because they… he raised an eyebrow when Dean met his eyes. It felt as if they were piercing Dean’s soul. Fuck were they blue.

Lisa. Dean mumbled and the man nodded again.

Because Lisa took a part of you with her and maybe that was the only real part. He leaned in a little, his other hand coming to rest on Dean’s arm, squeezing slightly. Like maybe you’ve lost yourself.

Tears did not form in Dean’s eyes. Y-yeah. He ground out in a too tight voice. He tried swallowing but was relatively unsuccessful. She… she’s pregnant. He coughed. With someone else’s child.

The man scrunched up his face in a mask of anger and concern. Awful.

She said it was mine.

The man was practically sitting pressed up against Dean’s side now. And you were happy.

I was! Dean exclaimed and finally let go of the wheel to lean back against the seat, hardly noticing the man’s arm coming down to rest around Dean’s shoulder. I really was, even though no one else was.

What do you mean?

Dean jerked a little when he realized how close the man was but he just turned to regard him. Fuck, he felt talkative all of a sudden. The only other one that could pull this kind of shit out of Dean was Sammy and only maybe after a couple of drinks. But this was a stranger, Dean thought, and that fact comforted him. He didn’t have to have his walls up here, he didn’t have to be the one everyone thought he was; expected him to be. He just had to be because he would never meet this man again.

He sighed. My friends and family didn’t like our relationship.

Were they looking out for you?

Dean thought this over. People didn’t tend to ask him this, they just assumed. He liked that the man wanted to know what Dean thought.

Yeah, yeah they were. He closed his eyes briefly, sighing again. And I was an idiot to not see it. Fuck. He thumped his fingers against the wheel and didn’t notice how the man put a hand on Dean’s thigh. I was so stupid for so long.

Love makes fools of us all. The man commented sagely and Dean was just about to agree when he finally saw the hand on his thigh. The man’s fingers were slim and his palm maybe a little smaller than Dean’s but still, that was a man’s hand. On his thigh.

Uh…

You know, the man leaned in and very barely brushed his lips against Dean’s ear. I could help you forget for a little while.

Dean jerked his head to the side to really look at the man but since he couldn’t back up the rest of his body without slamming into the door he unfortunately ended up a little too close to the man for comfort. Dean blinked when the man didn’t even flinch.

What? he asked but it didn’t come out as sharply as he had imagined it would. He sounded stunned, to be frank.

The man tilted his head to the side and regarded Dean for a moment before exhaling slowly, his breath ghosting strangely over Dean’s lips. Look, Mr.—

Dean.

Why had he said that?! Why the hell had he given the man his name, why had he given him any name?!

The man’s smile was the most inviting yet and Dean shrank back against the door.

Dean. The man practically purred and pressed oh so slightly closer. What I hear here is that you’re torn about what’s happened. You’re sad at what you’ve lost and you’re angry at the same. And perhaps you’re also angry at yourself for being sad. How am I doing so far?

Dean tried to swallow around his lump of panic. He fumbled for the door handle, prepared to flee any second and yet he stayed there in his car with this strange man pressed up against him.

I… Yeah, you’re right. I suppose.

The man nodded. Angry and sad and you should be, your girlfriend sounds like a very selfish person.

Fiancé. Dean whispered and watched in fascination as the man’s eye widened slightly.

You were engaged?

Dean chanced a glance down at his hand and the simple ring his meager paycheck had been able to afford. She… We were going to have a family. He didn’t notice it himself but his features softened when he looked at the ring. I wanted to do things right.

When he looked up again he noticed that the man was regarding him with an emotion Dean couldn’t place. Curiosity? Not really. It was more as if he was impressed and surprised at the same time but Dean couldn’t fathom why and the look disappeared faster than Dean could pinpoint it.

You’re a real man, Dean. The man stated in a voice much too husky for Dean not to notice and yup, the man’s hand was back on Dean’s thigh. You deserve to be taken care of, let me do that for you.

Dean had never been so confused and intimidated at the same time. Was the man really suggesting what Dean thought he was? A few men had hit on Dean over the years, that much was true, but Dean had never paid them any heed. For one, he was straight in a pretty straight-forward way and two, he had only ever had eyes for Lisa. Plus, those men had always been subtle, checking the waters Dean supposed, so they had been easy to brush off. This man, however, yeah he was totally inching his way higher up Dean’s thigh and breathing against Dean’s neck at the same time.

Dude, Dean mumbled and was horrified when he realized just how close the man was and how not disgusted Dean felt by the touches. What’re you doin’?

The man laughed in a low voice and fuck, the rumble in his chest transferred into Dean’s body in a way he had never known. Don’t worry big boy, just let me take care of you. He glanced at the back seat but Dean barely had any time to breathe before he was back to grinning at Dean. Don’t suppose there’s much space here and forgive me if I’m wrong but you don’t seem like the outdoors kind of type.

What the hell kind of type? Dean felt hot and confused enough to be freaking out. What are you saying?

The man squeezed Dean’s thigh in a very strong hand. I’m saying 20 bucks for a hand-job and 50 for me blowing you. He held up his unoccupied hand for Dean to see a small condom package that had magically appeared. With rubber, of course. He winked and that may have been what kicked Dean into gear.

He gripped the man’s wrists hard and pushed him back so that he slid half-way over the seat while Dean himself pressed up against the door so fast he actually banged his head pretty badly. As if he would care about that right now.

You’re a hooker? he hissed out with round eyes and the man looked more surprised than anything.

Well, yeah. He blinked a few times and then actually had the audacity to laugh. The sound was so deep and rich and comforting that Dean relaxed despite himself. What did you think, sweetie? You picked me up in the red light district.

What? Dean hadn’t even known Redwood had a district that could be defined like that. Palo Alto maybe but here? There was downtown, uptown and the kind of middle ground which was basically the shopping district but he had never thought anything more about it. Fuck he felt a fool, living such a sheltered life.

The man smiled kindly. Not that I didn’t actually enjoy talking to you, sorry about your girl by the way, but did you really think a stranger would care all that much?

Dean felt so stupid. No. He mumbled lowly and looked down at his hands. I suppose not.

The man slid closer but the atmosphere was different than before so Dean let him. I really am sorry, though, it sounds like you’re really hurting and it kind of sounds like you’re better off without her but just don’t know it yet.

Dean looked up and the way the man was looking at him convinced him that yeah, this man was telling him the truth. This stranger assessed the situation like this even though he didn’t fucking need to. He didn’t need to take Dean’s side and he didn’t need to be nice to Dean but he still was. In an attempt to get money, sure, but still…

Thanks. Dean mumbled and the man smiled.

Do you want to drive me back?

Did he? I don’t know. Dean answered with a slight frown. Talking to this man had made him feel better in a strange kind of way and Dean thought that maybe he would like the man’s sympathies some more, even if they were fake. Why did you chose me?

The man tilted his head to the side. Of all the potential patrons, you mean? he pursed his lips in thought when Dean nodded. Plump would be the word to describe those lips, Dean’s mind provided. To be fair there weren’t that many to begin with. He smiled then and Dean realized he had slumped his shoulders at the answer. Yeah, great way to be subtle, Winchester. And you are very handsome. He continued. And that’s always nice, having a john that’s good looking makes the job easier. Dean should not preen at that but he totally did. Plus you looked so sad and confused, I thought maybe you were new to this and I wanted to spare you some of the other whores. He chuckled when Dean flinched at the word.

I’m sorry I mislead you. Dean mumbled sheepishly but the man just waved it away.

It happens, not a lot, but it does. Thank you for not beating me up.

Dean’s eyes budged a little. I wouldn’t do that.

The man regarded Dean for a moment longer than strictly necessary. No I suppose not. He agreed in a thoughtful tone that made the hair at Dean’s neck stand on edge for some reason. Now, how about that blow-job? Otherwise I gotta get back, I… he laughed a little and for the first time Dean thought the man’s sounded a little unsure of himself. Nervous, even. It made Dean curious. I kind of need the money, so…

Dean almost startled to think about why the man was doing things like this. Going on a drive with strangers, sucking them off. Whoring his body for money. Dean wanted to know why but supposed it would be wrong of him to ask.

Do you do this a lot? he heard himself asking despite what he should and should not do.

The man blinked once and then ducked his head, smiling shyly and shit, it made heat rise on Dean’s cheeks. It’s my only job. The man answered and Dean let that be enough.

This… this was a momentous decision for Dean. Stupid and made for the wrong reasons but momentous nonetheless.

I want to know your name. He stated in a voice much steadier than he felt. The man looked up and looked confused. Dean swallowed hard. If-if I’m gonna have your mouth on my dick I need to know your name.

The man actually smiled at that. Of course you do. He mumbled and it sounded as if he liked that Dean had asked. It’s Castiel but you can call me whatever you want.

Dean thought it was a strange but eerily beautiful name. A mouthful, though. How about Cas?

Sounds perfect. Cas smiled and Dean saw little crow’s feet by the man’s eyes. But you don’t have to care about me. Cas was sliding closer again and Dean let him. Just relax and let me take care of you. You’re straight, right? He nodded when Dean did. So just close your eyes and picture a woman. He gestured to Dean’s engagement ring. Maybe her, I don’t mind.

But Dean scowled at his finger and promptly pulled the ring off, tossing it in the back seat. I don’t want to.

Cas eyed him confusedly. That’s okay, you can pick anyone you want. Please forgive my scruff, though. But I don’t know, just picture a hairy pussy or something.

Dean actually scrunched his nose at that. Couldn’t I just look at you?

Fuck, Cas looked even more confused at that but the leer that came across his plump lips did something within Dean. Stirred something and Dean unconsciously shifted in his seat.

Of course, Dean. Cas conceded in a deep voice and he was pressed up against Dean’s side again, his warmth seeping into Dean’s shivering body once again. Anyone you want. I just have two questions for you before we get started.

Y-yeah? Dean’s voice sounded much gruffer than he was used to but Cas didn’t seem to mind.

Are you a cop?

What? it was Dean’s turn to stare at Cas confusedly.

Because you kind of have to tell me if you are.

Oh. Oh, right. This was fucking illegal, right? Are you? A cop?

Cas shook his head and smiled when Dean shook his as well. Good. And second, do you actually have the money?

Dean fumbled with his wallet and repressed a sigh of relief when he could produce 50 dollars without problem. Am I, uh… he blushed, feeling stupid and awkward and not sexy in the least. Am I supposed to pay for the condom too?

Cas smirked as he pocketed the money. That’s on the house, sweetie.

Oh, okay. So stupid.

Then Cas was back against Dean’s side and yeah, Dean stopped breathing for a moment there. This was a man, a distinct man, plastered against his side. There was no denying that and what the fuck was Dean actually doing? So Lisa had cheated on him, so he had left her and so he had had his heart broken. That did not explain why he would let this man feel him up. And pay him to do it.

He was just about to change his mind because seriously, seriously, when he felt Cas’ palm suddenly resting on his crotch and yeah, his dick didn’t fucking care if this was a man’s hand or not. Oh, it perked up real nice when Cas’ hot breath ghosted over Dean’s ear and sure, Dean had never had any trouble with ED or anything like that but he wouldn’t have thought having a dude feel him up would make him react so fast, at least.

But Cas was skilled at this, Dean could tell and not just because he ought to be because this was his job. Yeah, Dean could actually feel how Cas’ hands moved over his dick, fingers pressing just right and Dean’s hips were soon seeking the man’s hand as if it held all the answers.

Don’t hold back. Cas mumbled with his lips just shy of Dean’s neck, laughter in his voice but Dean didn’t feel stupid anymore. Just delirious.

He realized then that he had been biting his lower lip to keep from making noises. Partly because he was used to sleeping with Lisa and she didn’t like it when he was vocal and partly because if he actually voiced what he was feeling then this would feel much too real.

I-I can’t. He whispered even as he spread his legs and Cas’ fingers slid along his whole length where it was trapped in the leg of his jeans.

Can’t what, Dean? Cas asked and started unbuttoning Dean’s jeans slowly.

Dean shook his head. I’m not supposed to like this.

Why? Cas’ hand was warm but Dean’s dick was warmer. Because I’m a man? Because I’m a whore? he fished Dean’s dick out and Dean fucking gasped as he bobbed free. Both?

Both. Dean pressed out and looked down, surprised to see himself so hard and just from a little rubbing through the pants. He felt like a slut and didn’t know why he liked the feeling.

Cas was nodding against Dean neck. It’s okay. He said again and this time Dean believed him. He bit his lip to keep from whining pitifully when Cas withdrew but he did relax when he saw that Cas was just ripping the condom wrapper and pulling out the rubber ring. I’m going to put this on you now. He looked Dean in the eye and Dean actually shuddered.

Are you always so clinical with your customers? Dean had to ask because he felt as if he was losing himself in a much too good way.

Cas smirked and just put his hands back on Dean, nipping the condom and rolling it on. Only the nervous ones. He said calmly as Dean tried very hard not to roll his hips up into Cas’ touch. You should know that we can stop any time you want, but I’m not giving you the money back.

I don’t wanna stop. Dean bit out, looking anywhere but Cas.

Good. Yeah, Dean didn’t have to look at Cas to know that the man was still smirking. Now, turn so you can lean against the door, give me some room. Dean did as he was told but felt fucking awkward doing so. He had never gotten blown in the car before even though he had secretly kind of wanted to. He opened his legs as Cas bent down to graze his fingers along Dean’s quivering dick. This is gonna feel odd because of the rubber but I’ll make it good enough. He winked and then promptly swallowed Dean down.

Now, Dean wasn’t a stranger to blow-jobs. Sure, he hadn’t had that many because Lisa got tired in the jaw but he pretty much knew what to expect. Heat, sucking, wet.

Except Cas felt different in about a thousand ways.

He held Dean’s dick steady with one hand while the other dug out Dean’s increasingly tight balls from his underwear. His tongue slithered around Dean and he deepthroated like he fucking meant it. It felt fucking amazing and Dean wasn’t even feeling the rubber. He fisted his hands against his thighs and the leather seat creaked when he tried desperately not to thrust up.

Fuck. He gasped when Cas swallowed, fucking swallowed, around him.

Cas pulled off with a lewd pop. Dean. He rumbled and Dean fucking loved how hoarse his voice was now. Hoarse because Dean’s dick had made it so. I don’t want you to hold back, fuck my mouth if you want to.

Dean looked down at Cas and Cas met his crazy stare with a steady gaze. Are you for fucking real? he huffed out and that made Cas grin.

Dean, you’re paying me. He said and managed to sound both reproachful and amused. Feel free to use me at your leisure. He looked down when Dean’s dick jumped at that and Dean held his breath. Plus you have an awesome cock, it would be a shame not to put it to use. He flicked his gaze up to again meet Dean’s round eyes. Don’t you think?

Fuck yes. Dean hissed and his hand moved as if on its own accord to fist in Cas’ messy hair, pressing the man down again and Cas went willingly, swallowing Dean whole and Dean didn’t hold back anymore. Just let his hips buck up and fucking yes, Cas was rolling with him, his throat constricting around the head of Dean’s rock hard dick.

Dean gripped the back of the seat with his right hand as the other kept the death grip on Cas’ hair. He leaned his own head back to press against the cool window as he really go into the motion, bucking his hips, feeling Cas’ tongue slide sinuously around his whole length even as he fucked the man’s mouth in a torturously slow motion. Fuck, it felt better than he would have believed and much better than any blow-job he had ever had. Better even than Lisa’s pussy? Maybe, because he didn’t have to hold back. Cas let him take what he wanted and Cas let him make sounds and fuck, Dean was making sounds. Moaning, groaning, even whimpering when Cas’ teeth caught very briefly on the crown of his dick because that felt awesome and wasn’t the turn-off he had thought it would be, not in the slightest. He kind of wanted Cas to do it again and when he looked down he saw that Cas was studying him and somehow knew. Knew to nick his teeth again and when he got a good reaction out of Dean he continued doing it at irregular intervals.

Best. Blow-job. Ever.

Dean was a writhing mess in no time at all and he kind of wanted to feel embarrassed about that but the way Cas was looking at him made that impossible. Because Cas’ eyes were lust-blown as well and Dean felt like a goddamn champ and like a priceless artefact all at the same time.

Cas. He gasped. Cas, I’m gonna come soon.

Cas fucking hummed at that and yeah, there was that pull that Dean couldn’t even hope to stop. He was going to fucking come inside a man’s mouth and he was fucking loving it. Loving all of this. Cas’ obvious man-features, his scruffy cheeks, his strong jawline, his Adam’s apple and the way it bobbed as he swallowed, and his hands. God, Dean loved the way Cas’ hands gripped his hips hard enough to bruise.

He reached down to cup Cas’ jaw and it kind of did him in. Feeling the man’s stubble was what fucking did him in, okay?

Fuck! he choked out and felt how one of Cas’ hands came up to press so that the condom remained in place even as Dean started coming. Fuck, Cas, Cas, you’re—ah!

Dean bucked up one last time, his back arching even in his cramped position and he felt Cas lapping at the head even as he spurted the condom full.

He slumped back against the door again even before he was completely done climbing down from his high. Fuck that had felt good. Felt as if he hadn’t come for a decade and maybe that wasn’t so inaccurate.

Cas pulled off carefully and took care to angel Dean’s dick so that no come actually dripped out as he removed the condom. You came a lot. He remarked and shit, Dean had never heard someone’s voice sounding so raw. He felt proud about that. He had made that.

You suck dick like you fucking love it. Dean stated in way of answering and his speech was slurred. He grinned lazily when Cas winked at him and turned around to roll down the window and toss the condom outside.

Dean wasn’t sure he liked that, not because he was concerned about the environment because he wasn’t goddamn Sam, but because he felt odd about having his come discarded where anyone could find it. He didn’t say anything though. Just sat up to tuck his dick back in as Cas rolled up the window again.

It was then that he noticed that that totally had been lust he had seen in Cas’ eyes before because that sure as hell was an erection bulging Cas’ jeans. He swallowed and looked at it. He had paid Cas to suck him, sure, but was he supposed to reciprocate? What was the standard here?

Cas of course noticed him staring and Dean was ripped out of his thoughts when Cas laughed. Relax, Dean. He smiled and it made those crow’s feet appear around his eyes again. We’re done here.

Dean blushed and immediately hated himself for it. Okay. He mumbled and turned to the steering wheel but didn’t start the car. He sat in silence for a moment and Cas let him collect his thoughts. Does… Does that happen every time? he eventually asked in a low voice without looking at Cas.

Does what happen? Cas asked and Dean glanced down at his lap. Yup, erection was still going strong. Oh, do I get hard every time I tend to a client? he was grinning when Dean dared meet his eyes.

Yeah.

Not every time. Depends on what they’re doing, or on what they’ve paid me to do. Or, in cases like these, mostly on their attitude or what they look like. He continued grinning while the meaning of his words settled in Dean’s mind.

Oh. Dean choked out and it sounded like a squeak to him.

But don’t worry, we’re not doing anything else. Not because I wouldn’t like that. He looked smug when Dean’s blush came back full force. But I can sense that would be overstepping your boundaries and besides, that’ll cost you a hell of a lot more than fifty bucks.

Y-yeah. Dean continued in his non-squeak. Okay. I’ll, he cleared his throat. I’ll take you back now.

Much obliged.

The drive back was spent in silence and pensive contemplation. Dean couldn’t deny that that was one of the top ten orgasms he had ever had and he was man enough to admit it probably wasn’t just because he hadn’t been able to come in over two weeks what with Lisa hounding him and keeping him at bay at the same time. He also couldn’t deny the pull the man had on him. Something about him made Dean feel calm and on edge at the same time and he had to admit that he liked it. Liked how the man’s attention had been focused solely on Dean.

He glanced over at Cas as they were nearing the street on which he had picked up Cas. Yeah, he was fucking man enough to admit that he kind of didn’t want Cas to leave the car.

Cas’ erection had died down by the time Dean pulled up by the curb where Cas had first joined him but Dean still felt bad about that. He was no stranger to blue balls and even though he was unsure of what he could have done to help the man he still kind of wanted to.

Can… he coughed and ducked his head when Cas turned to him because he couldn’t look at the man while asking this. Can I see you again?

He sensed, rather than saw, that Cas was smiling openly. Sure. He said and it kind of sounded enthusiastic. Dean wanted it to be sincere but took whatever he got. You can usually find me on this street on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays and I—

No, I mean, Dean actually turned to him and dared to meet his eyes. How can I be certain I find you again?

Dean liked to think Cas preened at that. Cas reached down to fish a card out of his pocket. Call this number to make an appointment, just state my name.

Dean read the card carefully. It was clearly a business card and the name said Crowley’s Independent Contractors. It had two numbers listed and a webpage at the bottom.

Crowley? Dean asked and Cas shrugged when he looked up.

My boss, he’s kind of an ass but don’t worry. He doesn’t answer the phone. Cas grinned but this made Dean frown.

This was an actual business and Cas was working there, as a prostitute. It felt weird and made Dean a little nauseated to think about.

Is he your pimp?

Cas rolled his eyes fondly. It’s the 21st century Dean, we’re independent contractors, see? he pointed at the card but Dean didn’t feel in the least better about this whole deal. It felt sordid and he kind of just wanted to drive off with Cas and take him away from it but that in itself made Dean feel even weirder.

He reached over to put the card in the glove compartment. Maybe I’ll just take my chances with this street. He mumbled and Cas actually smiled at him.

Tuesdays through Thursdays. He reminded Dean and Dean nodded with a tight throat. I’ll look forward to seeing you again.

With that he slipped out of the car and Dean realized with a start that that motion looked so fluid because Cas was used to jump in and out of cars in the most seductive way possible because he was a goddamn whore and Dean had just paid him to suck him off and Dean still wanted to see him again, despite those revelations.

He watched thoughtfully as Cas sauntered up to an inconspicuous-looking building and entered it without even looking over his shoulder. Dean felt cold and lonely and Baby had never felt so big before.

He sighed heavily before pulling out into the street and driving over to Sam’s, dreading the confrontation but at least successfully managing to suppress his emotions over the whole Cas-deal as he let the Lisa-deal take over his mind again. Somehow, though, it didn’t seem as bad anymore. He actually felt more indifference than anything else. He supposed it was shock or something and was happy to find Sam’s apartment blessedly empty.

He supposed Sam was out either studying or with Jess because those were the usual options so he just made himself at home on his brother’s couch and settled in to check his phone for messages.

He may or may not have fallen asleep before eight o’ clock, most of the messages erased without answer.