Chapter Text
It happened when he was on his way home from a night out with the guys. He crossed the street, and didn’t hear the blaring of the car horn through the music in his ears. It was blindingly fast, he didn’t feel a thing until he woke up and noticed the white walls and machines, then a pain throughout his body made itself known.
His mother told him that a car had hit him and he had a broken leg and a sprained arm, but that was only because the car stopped in time not to kill him. He asked why the right side of his face was covered and if he’d lost his eye.
The doctors told him that the bumper of the car was rusted and broken, but when the car hit and he went down, the right side of his face was damaged, they had to put in multiple stitches. The doctors also told him he’ll have a scar that won’t be preventable and that if he wanted, they could do plastic surgery.
He refused it then, but now, after five years of dealing with a scar and having people look at him with surprise or pity in their eyes, he’s second guessing his first thought on plastic surgery.
It’s not that he cares about what everyone thinks, he’s just so sick of the staring. He knows… There’s a scar there and it’s not hide able, okay? He just wants everyone to back the fuck off.
He’s angrier now than he was before. He doesn’t hug his friends as often anymore and stays inside if he can help it.
The mirrors in his house no longer exist. He refuses to look at himself, so he hasn’t worn makeup since the accident. If he could, he’d want to go back in time, wait that few extra seconds or at least take the fucking headphones out of his ears so that he could hear the car.
He wonders if that would have changed anything. He’s not religious, but his mom is, and she says that God works in mysterious ways. He’ll get what’s coming to him and it’ll be even greater because of his ‘misfortune’. It’s a bunch of bullshit that she still tries – after years of telling her that, he’s Atheist – to spoon-feed him into believing. He only listens because she’s his mom and he’s the type of son that respects his mom. That part of him hasn’t changed.
When Mike asks him to join them at the bar for the billionth time this week – and he’s not kidding because, “Tommy, you need to get out more, man, still experience life. You know we’re your friends and we don’t judge. Just come have a drink.” He doesn’t give up because he’s that kind of friend.
Tommy finally cracks when Mike says that if he doesn’t come out, then they’re either dragging him out or bringing a shit ton of people to his house to crash it and swim in his pool out back. He really is the best friend ever, even if Tommy sometimes doubts his actions. What’s sad is Tommy never used to second-guess anything Mike said or did. He’d always go with Mike’s antics without a doubt or care in the world.
Now, he has his leather jacket on, keys and phone in his hand, and he’s staring at his door with a new kind of fear. What’s going to happen when he leaves that bar? Will he end up in the hospital again? Will he have to sit through even more therapy for the first few years just to understand where all the anger is coming from and learn how to channel it into something that’ll help him? Taking a deep breath, Tommy walks out of his house and locks up before heading to the bar.
When he gets there, Mike and Mia are the first to greet him, Mia kissing his cheek next to the scar on his face. He can feel the heat pouring off his cheeks as his blush increases, because he always hopes they’ll overlook it, but Mia never does. She says she wants to prove to him that he’s still beautiful with a little imperfection. He doesn’t agree, but he can’t stop her. He’s not that cruel.
They sit and he orders. Throughout the night, he never has an empty drink in his hand, someone always buying one for him or someone wanting to do a toast so his glass fills again.
He’s having a great time, he really is and it’s the first time in a long time that Tommy doesn’t notice people staring and if they are, they don’t stare long enough for him to notice anyway. He feels normal for the first time in five years and it astounds him.
He wishes his life wasn’t the way it is now, but he knows he can’t change it and that this is and will forever be his life. He’s just getting into a conversation with Mike about distortions on a few bridges for Mouthlike’s new song when someone joins them.
“Hey, I was wondering if I could buy you a drink?” a guy says.
Tommy doesn’t even turn to the stranger, just grabs his beer, waiting for Mike to tell the guy yes or no so that they can get back to their conversation. He has some cool ideas for their chorus that he thinks Mike might like. Tommy’s feeling a little drunk and a lot relaxed, too.
Mike chuckles and shoulder bumps Tommy. “I think he’s talking to you, man.”
“What?” Tommy turns and looks up. He’s caught by bright blue eyes rimmed in liner, dark hair framing his face, but it’s his smile that makes Tommy stop and just look. The man’s smile is like a light in the dim area he’s sitting at. “Um, sure.”
Tommy gets up and bats at Mike as he walks away when he smiles and starts acting like a proud parent, clapping his hands and making goofy faces. Tommy actually can’t take his eyes off this man after they start walking. He’s so gorgeous. It makes Tommy wonder how this man noticed him.
“I’m Adam, by the way.” He holds his hand out and Tommy grabs it. It’s firm, but so soft, like he moisturizes every day.
“Tommy.”
They reach the bar and Adam orders himself a drink, and then looks at Tommy as if questioning. He tells the tender what he wants and Adam smiles brightly. They talk for a few moments and he finds out that Adam is a singer from San Diego, in town because of his theater’s production. He’s thirty just like Tommy and he’s infatuated with pop/rock music. They don’t talk about him and when Adam tries, Tommy avoids the subject. If Adam doesn’t know who he is, then he’ll find out eventually, and Tommy doesn’t want to be the one to tell him. People get a little star struck.
Tommy likes him, a lot, but he still has that lingering question in the back of his head; why is he even talking to me? He doesn’t understand and when they get their drinks and walk back to where Tommy was sitting, Adam asks if he can join. Tommy isn’t going to say no, but he just doesn’t get this. Adam shouldn’t be treating him as if he’s like everyone else. He should treat him as others do, as if he has a disease.
Before Adam continues his conversation with Mia about something, he doesn’t know because he’s been in his own head for the past fifteen minutes, he looks at Adam and says, “Can I ask you something?”
Adam smiles and nods. “Shoot.”
“Why are you even talking to me? Well, us ... I mean, I just don’t get it. I … Never mind.” Tommy sinks back in his seat and stare at him drink, putting his finger in it to turn the ice. He doesn’t get why he can’t say what he means.
Adam is looking at him strangely and Tommy wants to hide his face, because he feels really open right now and he doesn’t like it. He’s getting ready to get up and call it a night, because he’s embarrassed and ready to go when Adam says, “I wanted to talk to you. I was sitting over there for about an hour and a half thinking up so many ways to come over here and ask you out. Figured I buy you a drink before I did so. Is that a problem? I mean, I don’t want to get the wrong idea or give you the wrong idea.”
Tommy shakes his head and stands. “Trust me. You don’t want to know me. Have a good night, Adam.” He stands and says goodbye to his friends before he starts out of the bar, heading home. He’s ready for a movie and maybe a dip in the hot tub out back.
“Tommy! Wait!” Adam comes rushing up behind him, stopping next to him after he catches up. “I’m sorry, but what did you mean by I don’t want to know you?”
Tommy stops, turns to him and just stares. “You can’t be blind, Adam.”
“No, I’m definitely not blind. I’m standing on the street of…” Adam looks toward the stop light and the street sign, “Fifth – or is that Fourth – and I’m trying to ask this really gorgeous guy out, but I think he’s turning me down.” Adam looks at him and his blue eye reveal everything, but most of all, they reveal the truth, that he’s telling the truth.
“I’m not gorgeous, and I have to go,” Tommy says, continuing down the street.
“Can I at least have some way to get ahold of you? I really would like to take you to dinner or something!” Adam calls from behind Tommy.
Tommy wonders why he’s pushing so hard. He should leave it the way it is. He doesn’t want someone as broken as Tommy is. Yet, Tommy stops and waits for Adam to join him again because he thinks that’s how Adam is, pushing until he gets his way, and he’s not wrong when Adam stands next to him.
“I’m trying. I should get points for that, right?” Adam asks and it makes Tommy laugh.
“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” Tommy asks, giving Adam his number.
“And I hope you accept my invite to dinner so you can see what else I am. Have a great night, Tommy.” Adam leans down and kisses his cheek … his scar, and Tommy closes his eyes and turns around, walking the rest of the way home without Adam interrupting it. He can’t help but think of him on the way there. Adam’s insane and yet, Tommy’s still going to wait for that call.