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It was 11pm on a rainy winter night and Joyce was cleaning the kitchen counter when she got startled by a loud banging on the front door. Who would be this loud at 11pm ? People from the lab ? Did they come to get Will ? Will was at mike’s house, she reassured herself. Will was safe. Her mind showed her every possible scenario from best to worst but the last thing she expected to see when she opened the door was a soaking wet Nancy Wheeler.
“Nancy, hi. What are you doing here ?”
“Is Jonathan here ?” Her voice was shaky and her eyes were quickly inspecting what they could see over Joyce’s shoulder whose eyebrows knitted together in worry.
“Nancy, are you alright ?” The lack of courtesy on the young adult’s side wouldn’t usually be concerning but this is Nancy Wheeler we’re talking about.
“Is Jonathan here ?” She repeated quickly. She was shaking and her chest was dropping up and down in short ragged breaths. Even when they were exorcising her son from some kind of mind controlling monster, Joyce hadn’t seen her this panicked. She remembered her actually being surprisingly calm.
“Uh, no, he has a late shift. Why ? What’s going on ?” She was starting to get worried about her son herself.
“Are you sure ? Have you talked to him ?”
“Not since he left this afternoon, why ? Is he in danger ?”
“Yes ! I mean no. I don’t know !” She let out in a sob.
“Why don’t you come in and explain to me what’s going on ?”
She didn’t wait for an answer and gently grabbed the brunette’s shoulder to lead her into the house and out of the rain.
She closed the door behind her and turned around to get a better look at the young woman standing in her kitchen. Her hair was dripping onto her already soaked clothes. She was only wearing large pants and an equally large t-shirt that were now sticking to her petite frame. She was barefoot. Joyce’s motherly instincts awoke when she realized the young Wheeler must have walked all the way over to her house.
“Oh honey, you’re gonna get sick.” She said softly as she got closer to Nancy.
“Can you reach him ?” The urgency in her voice brought Joyce back to the present moment. Jonathan was in danger. That was the priority.
“I’m gonna try calling him.”
She walked to the phone that was hanging by the wire and dialed Jonathan’s workplace number.
Nancy was desperately searching with her eyes for something or someone around the room. She didn’t move as to not wet the house too much. As panicked as she was, she didn’t want to importunate Ms Byers more than she already was.
“Hi, is Jonathan here ?... Thank you... Hi sweetie !... No everything’s fine, it’s just that Nancy was worried about you... I see... Alright... This better be the last time young man... Okay, I’ll see you soon... Bye honey.”
She turned to Nancy who was looking at her expectantly.
“He’s alright sweetie, just finishing up his shift. He should be back in a couple of hours if you wanna wait for him.”
The young girl let out a shaky breath before looking around like she was only now realizing where she was.
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry for this Ms Byers. I’ll get going, I’m so sorry for worrying you, I shouldn’t have, I’m so sorry-“
“Hey, hey, it’s alright honey. No need to apologize.” She softly stopped Nancy’s panicked rambling and gently cupped her cheeks.
“I should get back home.”
“In your state ? What kind of mother would I be if I let you walk back home barefoot under the rain at this hour ? There’s no way. You’re already probably gonna get sick from this. Come on, let’s get you dried up.” She could see tears starting to prickle at the young woman’s eyes.
She knew she wasn’t used to being treated so carefully. She had no doubt Karen was a good mother but she had always been so worried about the looks of it all that there wasn’t much room for mistake with her as a mother. Now that she thought about it, that was probably why Nancy was such a driven perfectionist. She was a lot like her mother in that sense. But Karen never let people in. Joyce never got to fully crack her shell, no matter how hard she tried. she hoped it would be easier with her daughter.
“Come on.” She repeated softly and led Nancy into the bathroom.
She sat her down on the edge of the bathtub before returning a minute later with a shirt from Jonathan’s closet and a pair of warm pants from her own as well as a towel.
“There you go, sweetheart. I’ll be in the kitchen. Call me if you need anything, alright ?”
Nancy slowly nodded and waited for Joyce to leave and close the door behind her before taking in a deep, shaky breath and getting up. She took her clothes off and noticed her bruised knees from falling over a few times on the way there. She dried herself up and put on the clothes that she was given before sitting back down on the bathroom floor and burying her face in her hands.
It was stupid really. Jonathan had said he would call her but he didn’t and so she got worried because something could have happened to him, anything could have happened to him and she couldn’t help because he wasn’t answering her calls and what if the monsters had caught him and she was all alone again and she couldn’t breathe ? She couldn’t breathe. A sob escaped her lips and she curled onto herself as she heard a soft knock on the door.
“Nancy ? Are you alright ? Can I come in ?” Joyce’s voiced was laced with concern.
She was answered by a chocked sob and slowly opened the door only to be met with a curled up, trembling Nancy Wheeler. Seeing the usually so perfectly composed young woman in such a vulnerable state broke her motherly heart.
“Oh honey.” She softly called as she got closer, dropped to the floor beside her and wrapped her arms around the frail girl, dropping a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
Despite Joyce’s warm embrace, Nancy’s chest was heaving up and down in short ragged breaths as she got stuck in her own thoughts. It was such a stupid thing to get worked up about. Jonathan had simply forgotten. It’s not that he didn’t care about her. He had just forgotten. It’s not that he got ripped apart by monsters. He had just forgotten. It was so stupid. Yet here she was, curled up on the Byers’ bathroom floor, unable to breathe, as if her boyfriend’s mother didn’t already have enough to worry about. She didn’t want her to see her like this. She seeked Ms Byers’ approval way more than she liked to admit to herself and being this vulnerable in front of her would definitely not help. She probably hated her now and thought she was a coward who would just come by at any hour, talking nonsense just to be a nuisance.
“I’m so sorry.” She croaked out between two ragged breaths.
“Shhh, it’s alright. You have nothing to be sorry for, honey. Just breathe, alright ? I’m here. You’re safe. You’re okay. Just breathe, sweetie.” Joyce held her close and continued whispering reassuring words as she rubbed soothing circles on her back until Nancy’s breathing evened out and returned to normal.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, a shaky Nancy in a concerned but caring Joyce’s embrace.
“You alright ?” She asked softly.
“Yeah. Thank you.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
“How about we go to the kitchen and I make us some coffee ? Sounds good ?”
That earned her a weak smile from the brunette safely tucked in her arms.
“Sounds great.”
She helped her up and led her to the kitchen before sitting her down and starting to prepare coffee. On any other day Nancy would have insisted on making the coffee herself, but tonight, she didn’t have it in her.
A couple of minutes later, a cup of coffee was put down in front of her and the caring mother sat down on the chair opposite of her.
“I’m so sorry about this Ms Byers.” She said, looking down at her cup.
“Nancy, look at me.” Joyce’s voice was firm but when their eyes met, they were only filled with concern and care.
“You can come to me for anything, alright ? You’re my son’s girlfriend which means that you’re basically my daughter at this point. So don’t ever apologize to me for coming over if you need to. You are very welcome here. In this house. And in this family. Do you you hear me ?”
Nancy’s eyes filled with tears as the words she had just heard sunk into her mind. She knew, in this moment, that there was no more caring and generous person than Joyce Byers. She had no idea what she did to deserve to be called daughter by the most amazing woman she had ever met but it stole an honest smile from her.
“And call me Joyce.”
Her smile widened. “Thank you. Truly.”
Joyce smiled, satisfied.
“Do you wanna talk about what happened ?” She asked softly.
“Oh it’s nothing,” the young brunette looked back down at her coffee, “it’s stupid.”
“I’m sure it really isn’t.”
“It’s just- Jonathan said he would call me and he didn’t so I got worried something bad had happened to him.” She laughed. “Gosh, I sound insane.”
“Nancy, you lost your best friend, you got stuck in the upside down, you’ve fought weird alien monsters in and out of the upside down, you helped us exorcise Will from a weird scary shadow monster that tried to kill us all and there’s probably more that I forgot in only the span of a year. My point is that you’ve been through hell. More than anyone should ever go through, let alone at your age. So no, you don’t sound crazy. You sound like someone who’s been through what you’ve been through. That kind of stuff doesn’t just go away like nothing happened. It sticks with you. And that’s okay. It’s normal. It’d be weird if it didn’t.”
Nancy let that statement sink in, taking in every word before speaking again.
“It’s just that- I’ve always been worried. About everything, I mean. I would drive myself crazy over the tiniest things that nobody would notice and that I knew were out of my control. My worst fear used to be other people. Or rather how they saw me. The image they had of me. And it was awful. When i was around people i would just do everything i could to be liked, to the point where i didn’t even know who they were or who I was anymore. And when I was finally alone, all I could do was worry about it. ‘Did the girl in my math class look at me weirdly ? Did she hate me ? Did she think I was awful ? And the next day ? How would I dress ? Who would I see on my way to class ? Should I make small talk ? Or would that make me look desperate ?’ It was exhausting. It was like a constant buzzing that took all of the free space my mind had. And yet, now, I would give anything to get back to that. When my worst fear was wether my mom would be mad that i got a B instead if an A or wether Sarah from PE class thought i looked fat in my sweatpants. It was all so... mundane. Now anyone I care for could get torn apart by monsters at any time. And it’s not just the nightmares i have every night or the constant intrusive thoughts, it’s real. Its not overthinking. It’s just being careful. It’s like this constant weight over my head and im just waiting for it to drop. And sometimes it does, when im alone and I can’t stop thinking. It drops on my chest and i just can’t breathe because what if something happened to one of the kids or Jonathan or Steve or you ? The only time I let myself get close to anyone it was Barb, and now she’s dead because of me. I can’t let that happen with anyone else.” She took a deep breath. “I’m just so scared.”
She looked up and her eyes met Joyce’s comforting ones whose eyebrows knitted together like she was thinking of something to say.
“Oh honey.” She called softly before reaching for Nancy’s hand and squeezing it tight. “You know, when I was still with Lonnie, I was terrified. He was scarier to me than any monster i could imagine at the time. All I wanted was to protect my boys, not to let them see what was really going on. But after a while, it got out of hand and he started getting violent with them too. That’s when I knew I had to get away from him. For my kids. For them to have a chance of a somewhat normal life. And I did manage to get away from him. But I wouldn’t have been able to on my own. Your mother was actually the one who helped me. I mean, I would have broken down long ago if it wasn’t for her and Hopper, but she’s the one who helped me make the right choice and out of that abusive marriage.” Nancy was looking at her intensely, like she had never been more focused in her life. “My point is that you need someone. You need someone you can be vulnerable with. Someone you can be yourself with. Someone who will do their best to help you. Someone who appreciates you for who are.” She added intently, squeezing Nancy’s hand to emphasize her point.
The young one opened her mouth to speak, then closed it and then opened it again. “But I still don’t know.” She finally said slowly.
“Don’t know what, sweetheart ?”
“Who I am.”
Joyce smiled. “Oh honey, nobody does. We all navigate through life for the sole purpose of getting to know ourself. Understanding who we are. But the secret is that we’ll never know. You know why ?” Nancy shook her head. “Because we’re never the same person. Every moment that passes, we’re changing and evolving. We’ll never know who we are because the us we know is already in the past when we get to know it. We can only guess who we are based on who we’re gonna become. But nobody knows what awaits us. Nobody knows what the future holds. Life is too short to worry about other people, sweetheart, especially if you’re fighting weird alien monsters.” She smiled. “You shouldn’t be trying to be what everyone else wants you to be. You should be trying to get to know yourself, your path, what you want, what you need, what you love, what you hate, who you love, who you hate, what you feel. Nancy, your life isn’t about others. It’s about you. And you don’t get a redo for life. So live it to the fullest while you can. Because it’s yours. And it’s the only thing that will ever be fully yours.” She let out a breath, content with her speech.
Nancy breathed in deeply.
“Yeah, I know I should have been a philosopher.” The older woman said with a smile which earned her a soft laugh from the young woman sitting opposite of her.
“I’m sorry, Ms Byers.”
“What for, honey ? And it’s Joyce.”
“For that asshole Lonnie. For what happened to Will. You’re the most amazing person I know, it’s not fair you had to go through so much while some people lived their life not having a care in the world.” She squeezed Joyce’s hand.
“You know, it was hell. A big part of my life was. But i don’t think I would have it any other way. Lonnie may have been an asshole but he gave me my boys. And the whole upside down thing may have almost took my boy away but it also brought me extended family. Hopper, Eleven, you. All of those things made me who i am today.” She breathed in deeply. “They made the Joyce Byers you know and are currently listening to ramble about life.” She added with a smile.
“You’re incredible.” Nancy let out, watching her with a burning gaze.
“Why, thank you sweetheart.” She smiled and put her hand up and to cup the girl’s cheek. “Are you feeling any better ?”
Nancy took a deep breath in, as if to check in with herself.
“Yeah. Thank you. For everything.” She said putting her hand atop of Joyce’s on her cheek.
“If you ever need anything, I’m here. Anything. Anytime.”
“Thank you, Ms Byers.”
“Joyce.” She corrected her. “So do you wanna wait for Jonathan to get back and spend the night here ? I can always drive you back home if you want to.”
“I think I’ll wait for Jonathan. I don’t want to bother you any more than I already have.”
Joyce got up and flapped her hand in the air. “Nonsense. You’re great company, not a bother at all.” She dropped a kiss atop Nancy’s head on her way to her room. “I’ll be in my room. The door’s always open. Make yourself at home until my forgetful son gets back.”
“Thank you, Joyce.”
They smiled at each other before Joyce walked out of her sight.
Nancy walked over to the couch and let herself fall on the soft cushions.
She had never felt as safe as she did in that very moment, waiting for her boyfriend to get back safely from his shift, his incredible mother who called her family only a few feet away. And she really was. Safe. And family.