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r/AskReddit • Posted by u/loverofsnezhnayanqueen 5 months ago
21.3k upvotes • 4.2k downvotes
Does anyone know any Magical Girls IRL? If yes, what are they like?
TOP COMMENTS
causeofjurassicpark • 5 months ago
Oh boy, here we go. I’ve gotten permission for everyone involved here so buckle up, it’s time to spill some tea.
I (24f) know three Magical Girls from my school. Let’s call them D (27m), K (25m) and J (27f). D is currently in another dimension fighting against some corruption. J is in the sun leading a magical rebellion. K is my colleague who will be fact checking this after I finish typing.
To be honest, they’re actually really normal people. Sure, they can transform with a bucket full of glitter and shoot lasers from their hands, but they’re quite chill. We still hang out sometimes when they’re not out risking their lives.
Their favorite foods are grape juice, chicken and mushroom skewers and pizza. Sundays are movies with popcorn and frozen yoghurt from a brand that doesn’t exist in this reality.
3k upvotes
REPLIES
backflipping_intoyourdms• 5 months ago
Nah there’s no WAY this is real. The Magical Girl in my country lives in a goddamn mountain with a talking bird.
247 upvotes
causeofjurassicpark • 5 months ago
No cap. This is 100% real. When J was still in studying she had to fight an evil overlord while taking her SATs. She even made top 10 with her dominant arm chewed off.
2k upvotes
loverofsnezhnayanqueen [OP]• 5 months ago
By any chance can I ask how did you guys meet?
causeofjurassicpark • 5 months ago
Sure! Though keep in mind that this took place in a time where Magical Girls were still a secret to the public.
When I was 14, I forgot my bag one day so I had to go back to school in the middle of the night. The gates were all locked, but I knew there was an opening somewhere in the cafeteria walls.
I made my way there and got ready to climb through dirt and mud… lo and behold, as soon as I got through, I saw a portal ripping through one of the tables. A massive hulking monster crawled through, burning everything that it touched.
It saw me, a little kid, and let out the most fork-on-plate screech your imagination could allow. It lunged for me and I prepared for the worst, but the blow never came. When I opened my eyes I see some guy decked out in full black armor and a sword in front of me, killing the thing in one hit.
The guy was bleeding pretty heavily. Blood was pooling on the floor where he was standing and he struggled to even keep himself upright. I was scared shitless, but I tried to make sure the dude was alright. He spun towards me and panicked a bit, but he wasn’t in any shape to do anything. He detransformed and revealed himself to be K, the popular kid in my school who everyone wants to fuck.
He was muttering a lot of stuff, but he insisted to not be brought to any clinic or hospital. I remembered smacking him like the idiot he is.
What happened next was a blur. I princess-carried him back to my dorm (I lived alone with my roommate E but she was out of town) and he passed out somewhere along the way. Thankfully no one saw it because I had no idea how to explain I’m carrying a dude almost twice my height who happened to be bleeding to death.
(K is reading over my shoulder and rolling his eyes, just so you know that this is an accurate retelling)
I knew some first aid from my grandfather, so I did the best I could to patch him up. He didn’t show any signs of waking up; matter of fact, he seemed to be getting worse. I was debating to call 911 at this point when a girl in some captain uniform appeared on the balcony and crashed through the window.
Let me tell you, this gave me the fucking heart attack of the fucking century.
She ignored me and left to heal the dude, whose chest had been glowing the entire time. The glowing stopped eventually and he woke up.
Then they decided to kidnap me because they leave no witnesses. Yep, stolen out of my home and whisked away like Rapunzel. It would be romantic if not for the literal potato sack they shoved me in.
They brought me to some warehouse in Singapore (yes, all the way in Singapore) and interrogated me a bit. I thought they were psychopaths, but I saw what they did and I know I wasn’t the slightest bit clinically insane. They were arguing on whether to kill me to silence me when the third guy returned.
When the first guy was decked out in full spiky, goth, edgy armor and the lady in some regal uniform, the third dude was just something that came out from a dating sim. White suit and red hair and all, he looked like he was about to say some cheesy pickup line that I would only have one dialogue option for a reply.
This time the two stopped arguing. Then the third guy joined in. So it’s now three people arguing instead of two.
They decided to trust me after I made some blood oath, and they introduced themselves as K, J and D. Turns out we all went to the same school, and they’re all part of the student council. J is the president, D is the treasurer/HR/PR/event organizer, and K is the vice-president.
I’ll spare a lot of unnecessary details, but we’ve had our ups and downs. Notable mentions of our adventures were:
- J trapped in a dance battle against undead legionnaires for mine, D, and K’s lives
- A time loop where K lived through the same day for 593 times.
- My roommate E caught in the crossfire and got turned into an honorary MG for a day
- A talking teddy bear joining the group for three months then sacrificing himself for the sake of all the known universe (RIP, Barbatos)
- Traveling to a medieval alternate universe where D is an edgy wine mogul, K is a Calvary captain with no horses who flashes everyone, and J an acting Grandmaster who passes out at least three times a day
- Saving said alternate universe by killing all the gods there
- Destroying said universe’s economy by killing the god of wealth which will doom it inevitably
- D becoming evil for a whole year because of some corruption and we brought him back using the power of friendship
- Saving a reality where no matter what you wear, it will become a swimsuit and everywhere is a nudist beach (my bi awakening MUAHAHA!)
- Went undercover in a Magical Girl cult in Korea while speaking absolute gibberish (K didn’t even try and just used google translate whenever he needed to talk to someone. He got punched in the face two times)
- K and J became KPOP idols by accident
- D got the ownership of North Korea by accident
- I became the manager and part of PinkBlack, BST and Wild Kids by accident
- I got into a scandal with Lily from PinkBlack because I tripped and landed facefirst on her toes once
- Watched everyone I ever loved and cherished die before my eyes thousands of times knowing that I am powerless to stop any of it
- Ate my own arm once
- Ate J’s finger once
- I think I threw up on some king’s feet once and he ordered for my execution? I forgot which one
There’s obviously more but I’m not going into every single one of them!
6k upvotes
loverofsnezhnayanqueen [OP]• 5 months ago
Good sir/madam/non-binary person,
Are you okay
2k upvotes
causeofjurassicpark • 5 months ago
Don’t worry! I’m fine. We go to a pocket dimension every month to get our trauma magically removed. It’s run by a Magical Girl who’s over 6000 years old. I never had the heard to tell him that he’s a dragon god in another reality who we had to kill, but I think he already knows that.
4k upvotes
HEIIII • 5 months ago
Magical therapy where they literally whoosh your depression away?
Let me in, LET ME INNNNNNNNNNN
302 upvotes
causeofjurassicpark • 5 months ago
No, there ARE side effects. Especially for non-Magical Girls. One of them is memory loss, which is why I flunked my entire midterms and had to go to summer school. I was told someone’s head imploded in the past and their melted brain oozed out of their ears. I guess I had been delirious and traumatized enough to decide that death was a better option than suffering with whatever PTSD I had.
5k upvotes
HEIIII • 5 months ago
HUH
I’ll take my medication, thank you.
72 upvotes