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“She tell you who I am?”
Mr Jacobs turns away from Fez and locks eyes with Lexi. Her heart starts to jackrabbit in her chest.
Fuck .
Lexi had always known that the Jacobs family was a bit… off. Not that her family was without it’s problems. But still. They had a menacing energy to them, even the mom. And right now, Mr Jacobs has that eerily calm serial killer half-smile thing going on that Lexi’s seen in the movies.
No wonder Nate is such a scumbag .
Lexi fiddles with the bag of crisps to her right as she regrets how incredibly uncool she acted when Mr Jacobs visited the house to talk to her and Cassie earlier.
Mr Jacobs turns back to Fez and Lexi laments her decision to walk over to this aisle, wishing she could see his face right now. See what he’s thinking.
“Nah, man,” Fez drawls.
“Are you a cop?” The big-lipped girl - Faye , Lexi remembers - asks, her posture straightening up from where she had been leaning against the window. Lexi kinda wants to tell Faye to shut up . And not just because she’s… whatever she is to Fez. She's got that faraway look in her eye that Lexi's seen in her mom when she's six drinks deep on a Sunday night and isn't censoring her cruel thoughts anymore.
Lexi breathes.
“No,” Mr Jacobs replies, tone ice-cold and eyes ablaze. Lexi catches the very obvious move of his hand to his pockets and her breath catches in her throat.
Lexi’s seen enough movies. She knows what that is in his pocket.
Her mouth goes dry - tongue turning the texture of sandpaper - while Faye-with-the-big-lips’ eyes seem to widen to an improbable degree. Lexi wishes she knew what to do.
If she was more personable and beautiful like Cassie, maybe she would jokingly flirt and tell Mr Jacobs he’d look good in uniform, just to throw him off.
If she was more forthright and uncompromising like Kat, maybe she would ask what business he has harassing Fez.
If she was more confident and brave like Maddy, maybe she would walk right up to Mr Jacobs and say that she has the cops on speed dial, and that he better get the fuck outta here.
But she isn’t. She’s just Lexi. And for all the courage and self-belief that chatting with Fez on New Years had awakened within her, it seemed that when it matters most, she’s still just Little Howard , demure and unassuming.
Somewhere in the store, Lexi hears movement and – is that the sound of a gun cocking?
Could be Fez's little brother, her brain supplies.
She swallows and watches Mr Jacobs just stare Fez down, seemingly unbothered by the sound. Sweat begins to bead at her hairline.
Her eyes track the movement as Mr Jacobs lifts his hand out of the pocket and Lexi braces herself, preparing for… she doesn’t even know what. When she sees that it’s just a twenty dollar bill, she stops fearing for their lives.
“Just a concerned father.”
And just like that, Mr Jacobs turns and leaves, walking out the door and into his car. Fez follows after, and Lexi honest-to-goodness prays that he’s not about to confront him. She hears Mr Jacobs’ car pull away, and lets herself exhale. No longer frozen, Lexi walks to the door, past a dazed-looking Faye, and outside to where Fez is, his silhouette casting long shadows as the lights above flicker haphazardly.
She watches Fez watch the car drive away up the street, and sees how the line of his shoulders, tense and taut, finally relaxes once Mr Jacobs’ truck is out of sight. Lexi feels guilty. If only she had come earlier. She could have warned Fez sooner. Let him be prepared for something like this.
That night on New Years, Lexi recognised something in Fez’s eyes which she knew intimately. The sort of world-weariness that comes with having too much responsibility at a young age. Lexi knows it’s ridiculous to think that there are similarities between her life and Fez’s, and she knows undoubtedly that he’s had it so much worse. Still, she can empathize, on an albeit much milder level, how it feels to have shit dumped on you which means you’re constantly on high alert. Thinking two, three steps ahead to try and keep the people you care about in your life safe.
Lexi feels jumpy, agitated. She thought - in the past at least - that if she was ever in a situation where a gun is involved she would not handle it very well. She pictured herself crying, breath hiccupping as she tried to calm her heart. She didn’t expect this. Her nerves are coursing with energy, and she feels like she could run a marathon, adrenaline pumping through her veins.
Fez turns around, and Lexi takes in the terse set of his lips; the furrow of his brow. When his eyes lock with Lexi’s, his expression softens, and something inside Lexi just melts .
“Lexi, I-” he stutters, looking down. “I’m so sorry. Shit.”
“No, please,” Lexi insists, waving his apology away. “I’m the one that should be sorry,” she says, Fez taking a step towards her.
Fez looks puzzled, hands in his pockets. “That’s bullshit. That family is all kinds of fucked up. What do you have to be sorry for?”
“I came over here to tell you that he had been past my house and questioned my sister Cassie and I,” Lexi explains. “I should have gotten here earlier,” Lexi stresses, running a hand through her hair. “He was asking us all these questions about what happened to Nate and I tried so hard to keep your name out of it, but then Cassie went and-”
“I still don’t see how any of this shit is something you need to be sorry for,” Fez interjects, a wry smile on his face that makes Lexi’s stomach flutter.
Lexi huffs.. “I just wanted to-” she stops, cause Fez has taken another step towards her, and the close proximity is messing with her head a little bit. “Warn you.”
She didn’t realize how fast she was talking. She’s out of breath.
Fez takes his hands out of his pockets and takes Lexi’s hands out of the air, holding them in his. “Lexi. You don’t need to be sorry for nothin’. You feel?”
Lexi just nods.
“Are you okay? That shit was pretty scary,” Fez asks, deep blue eyes asking the question with a penetrating gaze. His hands are warm and firm over hers, and Lexi can’t help but shiver, the touch electric.
Lexi nods again, before stopping, cause she probably looks like an idiot. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” she breathes out, steeling her nerve. Because that’s the funny thing. She actually is okay. “I’m just sorry you had to deal with that shit.”
Fez cracks up laughing, a deep, sort of scratchy sound, and Lexi blushes. First Faye, now this ; seems like she can’t go two minutes with embarrassing herself tonight.
“You’re fucking fearless , Lexi Howard,” Fez says, eyes bright with what Lexi could only call wonder, lips stretched into a grin. “You know that?”
There’s that word again.
Fearless .
Lexi can’t help but smile. Something about that word, that praise, that recognition in Fez’s voice makes Lexi’s insides catch alight and burn hot. It’s the sort of feeling that makes her want to believe that she can be more than just Little Howard . If he can see her like that, then what’s stopping her from seeing herself that way?
Fez lets go of her hands and cocks his head to the side. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
The freezer light from inside the store casts a red glow over Fez, highlighting the scar that arcs from the top of his head to just behind his ear. Lexi can’t believe she hasn’t noticed it before.
“I, um,” Lexi chuckles, still a bit giddy about the whole fearless thing. “I just can’t believe I almost was part of a legitimate shootout.”
Fez’s expression darkens and he hangs his head. “It’s fucken shit you had to be round for that. I’m sorry, Lex.”
“It’s alright, really,” Lexi reminds him, resisting the urge to hold his hands in hers. To feel his skin on hers once more. “I mean, look at me,” she gestures to herself, and Fez looks up, those blue eyes boring deep into hers. “I’m fine! Not a scratch on me.”
Fez laughs softly. “You’re not wrong I guess. As much as I’d wanna protect ‘chu, you probably wouldn’t need my help.”
Lexi forgets to breathe for a second and tries to mask it by looking down and fiddling with her rings; not noticing how Fez’s cheeks redden.
As much as I’d wanna protect you.
“I don’t know, Fez,” she recovers, not allowing herself to get caught up in that particular fantasy, and tries to alleviate the tension, “my booksmarts will only take me so far.”
Fez is looking down again, kicking at the pavement. “Naw, you’re gonna go as far as you want, girl," his voice soft and a little husky. "Too smart not to.”
Lexi blushes.
Maybe it’s the rush of adrenaline from Mr Jacobs’ visit, or maybe it’s the way Fez sees her as more than just Cassie's sister; more than just the quiet girl in the corner. She can't put a finger on what it is, but Lexi knows this is something she needs to do, or she won't forgive herself. She needs to at least try.
Fuck it.
Lexi's gonna be brave. Fearless.
“Are you sleeping with Faye?”
Fez looks up and his face is one of confusion. “What? Nah, girl,” he says adamantly, shaking his head. “She’s just living at mine cause her boyfriend’s gotta lay low for a while.”
Lexi lets herself breathe, no doubt grinning like a lunatic.
“Ash fucken hates that she’s hanging around,” Fez adds. “I could never be with her anyway. I don’t do addicts.”
Lexi nods. Well there's a chance for me then, she thinks to herself. “So what do you do?”
Fez coughs a little and clears his throat. “Uh, not much. I guess.”
Lexi swallows and shrugs. "Me either."
Fez smiles, one of those rare ones where you can see his teeth, and Lexi feels alive as the wind whips against her skin, dancing on the night air. Feels fearless under his gaze like she never has with anyone else. Like she’s someone . Lexi can’t fucking wait to find out who that is.
She looks into Fez’s eyes and once again sees something in there that she recognises. Sure, there’s the world-weary exhaustion, but there’s something else. Something like excitement. Like hope.
He just nods, still smiling. “That’s cool.”
␥␥␥
lexi 11:21pm
faye and ash alright after tonight?
fez 11:29pm
lexi howard
you texted me
and yeh they’re chill
lexi 11:30pm
glad to hear it
you know…
fez 11:31pm
know what lex?
lexi 11:31pm
i just realized i never brought you your sweater
fez 11:32pm
guess you just gotta come by the store again then
lexi 11:32pm
guess so
:)