Chapter Text
Skyfire smiled as he entered a small room, Mirage, Tracks and Inferno waiting for him inside. Each week one of them picks a spot to meet up and they all talk about their cute boyfriends. Somewhere the others couldn’t hear, since Starscream was a Decepticon and the others would accuse him of treason if he talked about Starscream’s cute pout or the way he fluttered his wings when he was excited about something.
“I was wondering when you were going to show up,” Tracks said, “was someone following you?”
“Oh no,” Skyfire said as he sat down, “Wheeljack blew himself up again, I took him to Ratchet.”
“Of course he did,” Inferno muttered, “every time that happens, Red Alert freaks out, thinking that the cons are attacking. It scares me when his glitch gets worse.”
“Hey,” Mirage said, “Ratchet’s helping him, I’m sure he’ll find something to help him.”
“I sure hope so,” Inferno said, “I want to have a quiet life with him someday. After the war, we’re going to settle down in a quiet part of Cybertron. Somewhere far from the major cities, so none of the noise bothers Red Alert. Just me, him, and a future sparkling.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Skyfire said, “I had always hoped that Starscream and I could make our way as scientists, and then settle down, raise a sparkling in a world where they could be anything they wanted to be. Not constrained by their frame type to be in one certain job.”
“Speaking of Starscream,” Mirage said, “we might have to change our club’s name again, from the small boyfriends club, to the boyfriends club.”
“Why?” Skyfire asked, “Starscream is small.”
“He’s taller than me,” Mirage said.
“He is pretty tall,” Tracks agreed.
“No he’s small,” Skyfire argued, “I can prove it.”
“How?” Inferno asked.
“If I can pick him up easily, then he’s small,” Skyfire said matter of factly. The other three looked at him as if he were crazy, but muttered in agreement.
“How are you going to do that exactly?” Mirage said, “it isn’t like you can walk into the con base and pick him up.”
“I’ll think of something,” Skyfire said.
The next time Skyfire saw Starscream, it was on the battlefield. The Seeker had just been standing there as Megatron lunged at Optimus. Starscream had been complaining that Megatron’s plan was ridiculous and he would be a better leader. Skyfire smiled as he watched the seeker flicking his left wing in annoyance. Starscream could use a hug , Skyfire thought. As quietly as he could, Skyfire sneaked behind the seeker and pulled him into a hug.
“What’s going on!” Starscream yelled, wiggling around in Skyfire’s grip.
“Hey, Starscream,” Skyfire said, “how are you doing?”
“I’m fine,” the seeker hissed, “what are you doing?”
“I’m giving you a hug,” the shuttle said sweetly, “you look stressed.” Starscream muttered something inaudible but stopped fighting the hug. For a while the two just stood there as the fight went on, both sides ignoring the two just standing there.
“Come back with me,” Starscream said softly, “we can overthrow Megatron and lead the cons to victory, end this war.”
“You know I can’t,” Skyfire said even softer, “but you could always come back with me, be free from the stress.”
“And let these fools starve and bring themselves to ruin?” Starscream said, leaning back into Skyfire, “I couldn’t. As much as they say I’m a traitor and a coward, this faction couldn’t function without me. I do so much more than they think I do.”
“Well then, we should meet more in secret,” Skyfire muttered, “I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” Starscream said, before pulling himself out of Skyfire’s grip, “you want something, I can feel it.”
“Well,” Skyfire said, “I do need some to help me win an argument.” Starscream smiled a vicious grin.
“Of course,” the seeker said, “just tell me who and I’ll-” Starscream was caught off guard when Skyfire scooped him up bridal style and started running.
“Look guys!” Skyfire yelled, causing everyone on the battlefield to look at him, “he is small.”
“I am not!” Starscream yelled. Soon the seeker was sputtering curses and trying to claw his way out of Skyfire’s grip. Unfortunately a few human news crews were there and were filming the whole thing.
“Well, we did agree that if he could lift him up with ease, then Starscream was small” Tracks said, a smile on his face. The others, except Inferno and Mirage, just looked at him in confusion. Reaching down, the flying car picked up Raoul and placed a kiss on the human’s helm.
“Whatcha doing?” Raoul said, but still placed a kiss on Track’s cheek. Mirage and Inferno just smiled at each other and looked at their small boyfriends.
“I don’t like what’s going on,” Cliffjumper muttered as Mirage disappeared. Suddenly The red mini bot was lifted into the air. The blue noble reappeared and kissed Cliffjumper’s neck. Inferno lifted Red alert into the air and started to kiss the paranoid bot’s face.
“They’re glitched!” Red Alert yelled, “They’ve been infected with some sort of cuddle virus!”
“There’s no such thing!” Starscream yelled as Skyfire kissed his cheek. The other cybertronians were starting to mutter and talk. All the cameras were on them. Reporters were starting to talk, and the camera operators were trying to get the best shots of the couples.
“What are your men doing, Prime?” Megatron yelled.
“I wish I knew,” Optimus sighed.
“I know one thing,” Megatron yelled, “I’m not smaller than you!” The warlord lunged at Optimus and grabbed him under his arm sockets. Megatron could barely lift him off the ground.
“Megatron, what are you doing?” Optimus asked. Photographers and camera operators turned their attention towards the two leaders.
“Proving to everyone that you are the small one,” the warlord yelled back. Megatron’s arm’s started to shake and quickly collapsed, causing the Prime to land on top of them.
“Man, this is getting weird,” Jazz said as he watched mechs try to pick each other up.
“Perhaps we should look into a cuddle virus that Red Alert was talking about,” Ratchet said. As the two were talking, they missed Soundwave and Deadlock sneaking up on them. Soundwave seemed to have more success than Deadlock when picking up their autobots.
“I can pick you up doc,” Deadlock said, trying every way he could to pick up Ratchet, though the medic wasn’t budging.
“With those skinny arms?” Ratchet said, “I’m going to love seeing you try.”
“Jazz: is small,” Soundwave said, picking him up and holding him in one arm and pulling out a long string of photos, “but: not as small as the cassettes when they were born.”
“We’re not small,” Rumble yelled as he and the other cassettes jumped out of Soundwave’s docking station.
“Yes you are,” Soundwave said, “you're always small to me.”
“We’ll grab someone and prove that we’re not small,” Frenzy yelled and the cassettes scattered.
“Cassettes: will always be small. Rumble and Frenzy: were such cute sparklings,” Soundwave said.
“Ya, your kids are cute when they’re not stealing information from us,” Jazz said. Soundwave started walking over to one of the reporters, “where are you going?” The spymaster didn’t stop until he reached one of the reporters with a camera operator.
“Cassettes: were cute and small,” Soundwave said, “You: will listen.” Jazz groaned as Soundwave started telling the humans about his kids, but the reporter just listened, and made sure everything was caught on tape.
Chip Chase watched in confusion as the battlefield turned into a chaos of mechs trying to pick each other up. All of it was confusion, and the reporters weren’t helping in the slightest. Soundwave had Jazz, and had cornered one reporter and was telling her all about his cassettes when they were young. Skywarp and Thundercracker couldn’t lift each other up, so Skywarp disappeared and came back with a dog, and they had cornered a different reporter and were telling him all about the dog.
“There you are,” Ravage said, “now you don’t like me, and I don’t like you, but I will not be one of the smallest beings here.”
“And what do you want me to do about it?” Chip said,turning his chair around to look at the cat cassette. He knew that he shouldn't antagonize Ravage, but part of him wanted to.
“Just sit there and look small,” Ravage said before spinning Chip around and picking up the back of the chair.”
“Not again,” Chip muttered as Ravage trotted off to one of the reporters.
Starscream grumbled as Skyfire brought him back to the ark. With all the commotion that the shuttle caused by calling him small, the last place the seeker wanted to be was with the other cons.
“I didn’t mean to call you small in front of everyone,” Skyfire said.
“You can make it up to me,” the seeker muttered, “with fine high grade and a good spa day.”
“Of course,” Skyfire said as he placed a kiss on Starscream’s forehead. The seeker wrapped his arms around the shuttle and rested his helm on the Skyfire’s shoulder. All was good in that moment, and Starscream let himself smile softly.