Archive of Our Own

More important than any costumes or cosmetics, though, were attitudes, mannerisms, and movement.  In an instant, Nightfall became the upper-class merchant Balshaz, strutting towards the Gold Lantern Inn, opening the door as if unconcerned with who may notice on the other side.

Nightfall only needed a moment to take in the room.  The familiar faces of the owner Softra and his wife were the only ones Balshaz should recognize.  All the regulars must have been scared away by the pirates filling the tavern.  Clearly, the pirates had had a successful haul.  Many sported new clothing or mismatched, garish jewelry.  Nearly all were armed, and Nightfall assumed that those that appeared unarmed were hiding daggers or weapons on their person.  As he was.

Nightfall's composure nearly slipped when he noticed the man who stuck out of this modest tavern room like a sore thumb.  The captain of the pirates.  He was as ostentatious as before, but his elegance seemed even more surprising and out of place here than it had on his ship.  His hair was curled and oiled with a care that Nightfall could appreciate, considering how long his own administrations took.  The charcoal black curls shone in the flickering lights from the tavern's fire and scattered lanterns.  Unlike his crew, the captain's clothes were well-tailored and in good condition.  His jewelry was coordinated, sapphires glittering in their gold settings.

Nightfall tore his attention away after the briefest glance.  He shouldn't catch the captain's attention too early.  He felt the captain watching him as he made his way to the bar and greeted Softra.  The silence that had struck upon Nightfall's arrival fell as he sat, but he could sense a certain pair of eyes still observing him.

"Balshaz," Softra greeted him quietly.  "It's good to see you."

They discussed the state of the tavern, and how its noisy, less-than-upstanding patrons had scared away the regulars, scared Softra into hiding away his own daughters, and were partying loudly far too late into the night.  Softra aimed for an air of composure, but Nightfall noticed the fear in the corners of his eyes, and the anxiety in the tightness of his hands, and heard the desperation hidden in his voice as he asked, "You've traveled a lot, right, Balshaz?  Do you have any experience ending such...um...festivities?"

"I might," Nightfall replied, masking his own satisfaction at the opportunity.  He ordered a drink, reassured Softra one more time, and casually headed toward the captain's table, grabbing a chair on the way.  He smiled politely as he put the chair in front of the captain, and as he sat down said, "Hello, good sir.  My name--"

Nightfall stopped short as he watched a knife slip out of its sheath and race toward his hand on the table.  He didn't move, knowing as he calmly watched that the blade would hit the table next to his fingers.

The room went silent, and although Nightfall had known it would miss, he could feel the prickle of adrenaline through his body.  Long practice schooled his expression as he met the captain's gaze.  His blue eyes shone, and Nightfall hoped his own indigo eyes hid their excitement better.

"A finger's breadth leftward, and you'd be missing a thumb."

"With all due respect, sir.  If that blade had come at me a finger's breadth leftward, I would have moved my hand."

They held each other's gaze, both still as stone, as the taunts and jabs of the other pirates flowed around them.  Nightfall was struck by how much more composed, how much more intelligent and dignified the captain seemed in contrast to his uncouth companions.  He remembered how similarly controlled and calm the captain had been on the ship, when he had met him as Sudian.  He could only wonder what that mind was noticing and concluding about him now.

Nightfall suddenly broke off his stare and rose.  He grabbed the dagger midair from its flight toward his head and instantly threw it back in a razor rebound.  His aim was impeccable, and just as the captain had "missed" his hand, he missed Paskhan, and the dagger thudded into the dartboard behind the vile man.

In the silence that followed his display, Nightfall took inner, secret satisfaction from Paskhan's fearfully startled expression.  Casually, he reclaimed his seat in front of the captain, deliberately turning toward him as if giving him his full attention.  "As I was saying--"

The room erupted, chaotic screams tore through the room, and Nightfall heard every pirate draw their weapon.  His blood caught fire, then froze as his mind unwillingly flashed back to those terrible moments on that pirate ship, when he had been helpless under the filthy, tearing hands of these gold-lusting, murderous pirates.  Only his quick hands and the captain's leadership had saved him then.  Every instinct in him screamed to take out his own daggers, to flee and make his escape, but the captain's gaze held him still.  Nightfall hoped his trust in this captain wouldn't prove unfounded, basing much on his brief interaction with his as Sudian.  He hoped his fear didn't show in his eyes, even as he silently begged the captain to control his men.

He stayed still in his seat as the captain got up and admonished his men, as well as apologized to Softra and his wife.  He forced his body to appear relaxed as the weapons were sheathed around him and the captain retook his seat.

The captain seemed to ignore everyone else as he returned his attention to Nightfall.  "You were telling me your name," he reminded.

Nightfall allowed himself a small smile.  Although this captain's gaze never wavered from Nightfall's own, he would wager that the other man was just as attuned to his surroundings as Nightfall was.  He couldn't help feeling impressed, even as he struggled to figure this man out.  He seemed a study in contradiction, dressing and carrying himself as one of the upper class, yet able to interact with his crew at their level seamlessly.  He knew how to command savages and pacify nobility.  His voice and expression held the perfect range, and he thought swiftly enough to use the right approach in diverse situations.  Nightfall realized that more than anyone he had met in a long time, this captain might actually be a match for him.  It gave him a heady feeling, staring into those pale blue eyes and recognizing a kindred spirit.  He had a sudden, mad impulse to get this captain alone, and confess everything just to see if the captain recognized himself in Nightfall, too.  How much could he read in Nightfall's eyes, in this merchant guise?

Through everything that had happened in the short time since Nightfall approached, the captain hadn't lost the thread of the conversation.  Nightfall stamped down the ridiculous urge to tell this man who he really was and recalled his mission.  "My name is Balshaz.  I'm a merchant seeking passage to Alyndar."

"Alyndar?"  The captain snorted.  "Well, good luck there, donner.  No one's sailing to Alyndar."

"So I've heard."  Nightfall tried to sit back in his chair but found himself incapable of relaxing his guard in view of this astute man.  He tried to ignore his curiosity and the intrigue that drew him forward, fighting with the anxiety of how much he needed the captain's help.  "They're hunting a fugitive and force-checking every ship."

"That's only part of it."  The captain leaned forward, and Nightfall couldn't help noticing how boldly handsome his features were.

Focus, he told himself sternly.  This is no time to be distracted by another man's appearance.

"There's a war brewing," the captain continued, unaware of Nightfall's inner tangent.  "And no one wants to be a part of that."

"A war?"  It was  like a bucket of cold water to the face.  He didn't bother hiding his expression of alarm.  There hadn't been a war in Nightfall's lifetime.  A war could also decrease the timeline Volkmier had given him.  The High Council might rush to declare Edward dead sooner if they were under threat.  "Who would declare war on Alyndar?"

The captain shook his head.  "Not war between kingdoms.  A civil war."  Nightfall felt a wave of relief.  He still had time to rescue Edward.  "They've gone so far down the ascension, I'm starting to think I have a chance at the throne."

The tone was light, joking, but Nightfall studied the captain, wondering if he might be serious.  He demonstrated more than enough poise to have once lived among the nobility, perhaps a displaced and disgruntled younger son.  The thought made him chuckle inwardly as he considered his assumed kinship with the captain.  He might be a match of intelligence, dexterity, and competence, but if this man was a fallen noble, that made him a striking opposite to Nightfall's rise from the gutters.

The captain huffed out a laugh, but Nightfall wasn't quite convinced, and he sensed the captain was aware of his suspicions.  He put his ruminations to the back of his mind and refocused on the captain's information.  "The king left no heirs, being a youngster himself.  The chancellor's a traitor.  Age-old law doesn't account for such details.  I don't know if anyone's sure who has next right, but a whole lot of people would like to believe it's them."

Jackals.  Nightfall felt a surge of anger at these traitors, but he had to shift topics to a more productive end.  "So, can you get me there?"

"Me?"  The captain sounded taken aback.  "Why should I go to that kind of trouble for a stranger?"  Beneath the exaggerated shock, Nightfall believed his surprise and felt relief that the captain hadn't seen through his disguise and recognized him.  Not that it had ever happened, but Sudian wore Nightfall's true face, and this man was sharp.  Nightfall wouldn't be letting his guard down for an instant around him.

"Because the man I'm going there for said you owed him a favor."  'The man' was Sudian, and Nightfall studied the captain's face carefully for any sign of recognition or deceit.  This conversation was risky, and if he was as good of a liar as Nightfall, he'd be difficult, if not impossible, to read.  But Nightfall was a master at reading expression and body language.  It had been a matter of survival growing up.  Plus, Nightfall had the added advantage of long practice being Balshaz.  His lies came across at Balshaz's truth, and so far he was certain the captain believed him.

"What man is this?" the captain asked, eyes narrowed, stroking his smooth chin with long fingers.  Nightfall's eyes followed the movement, entranced by its elegance, before refocusing on the pale eyes.

"He said you would know."

"Did he now?"

Nightfall waited.

"Would this man have a name?"

"He would.  But he told me not to speak it.  Said it might get us both in trouble."

The captain looked at Nightfall thoughtfully, saying nothing.  Nightfall held his gaze and felt the strange pull again, urging him to tell the captain the real story behind all his half-lies and veiled truths.  He willed the captain to read the truth in his eyes, and it was such an unlikely feeling to want someone to figure it out, to know him.  Besides Kelryn, it hadn't happened, ever.

The mutterings of the pirates around them made Nightfall realize just how public this exchange was, and how long the two had been staring at each other in silence.  The captain cleared his throat and Nightfall look casually around the common room.

"So, what favor are you doing for...this mutual friend?"

"He said you wouldn't ask," Nightfall tried.

"He lied."

"Alright then," Nightfall smiled.  "I don't suppose it can hurt to tell you.  I'm delivering a message."

"What message?"

Now, Nightfall's brows rose, and he could see the captain admit they were at an impasse.  Despite the urgency of his task, Nightfall realized he was having fun, testing their limits during this exchange, trying to figure each other out.

"Why are you doing this for him?"

Nightfall hid the panicked calculations from showing on his face.  He needed a believable reason Balshaz would do this big favor for Sudian, a stranger and disgraced councellor.  He also needed to reassure the captain that he wasn't going to be arrested for holding the noble Sudian hostage in the first place, even if Sudian was a fugitive now.  "He bested me in a dart game.  Said it was too risky to travel there, so he wagered money against a boon."

The captain's head swiveled to the dartboard.  One brow raised, his voice came out sarcastic, but Nightfall could tell it was masking real suspicion.  "Wouldn't have thought anyone could best you at darts."

Nightfall swore internally, but kept his nonchalant expression in place.  His earlier perfect bullseye had done its job to intimidate Paskhon, but now it took some credence from his story.  Changing it now would only take more.  "I wouldn't have either.  I thought I was unbeatable, but that man is good."  He waited to see if the captain would be convinced.

They stared each other down again, this time the captain's turn to search his face intently, and Nightfall's turn to hold his face and expression.  The captain's pale eyes roamed over Nightfall's face, over his clay-crafted long nose and pock-scarred cheeks.  Nightfall had used powder and clay to make his eyes appear wide-set and larger, but nothing could change the distinct color.  As the captain continued to study him, Nightfall tamped down his anxiety and trusted his skills that had kept his personae safe for years.  But as the captain's eyes came back to meet his, they filled with a strange spark Nightfall did not, at first, recognize.  It looked vividly familiar.  He had seen that same kind of excitement in another not long ago.  Night only had to place it.

"Softra!" the captain suddenly bellowed.  "Another round for my crew!"  The room around them that had been watchfully muttering, erupted into cheers.  Nightfall warily listened to the chaos, but he didn't sense anyone approaching closer.  Wondering at the abrupt change of tone from his counterpart, he watched as he took a pull from his mug and left it half-full on the table and stood.  "Let's take these negotiations somewhere quieter."

Nightfall tensed, wary of the dangers of being alone with the captain without any witnesses.  Especially after the man had just created a noisy room himself, only to suggest a change in scenery.  It was blatant he just wanted an excuse to get Nightfall alone.  Nightfall looked over the captain's body again as he started moving away from the table, his flat stomach leading up to broad, muscular shoulders and arms.  Nightfall usually relied on his speed and dexterity more than brute strength in a fight, and he'd seen for himself how fast this captain was.  But he didn't see any way to refuse, especially as Balshaz, and he liked his chances better away from the large crowd of drunk, violent-prone pirates. 

He also found that despite the danger, a part of him wanted to follow the captain, to keep talking, to figure out a little more about him.

His ruminations lasted only a moment, and he was up and following the captain to the stairs.  He gave an apologetic glance to Softra; with another round, the pirates were louder and rowdier than ever.  He pushed that problem out of his mind as he followed the captain past the common sleeping rooms to the hallway of private rooms on the third floor.

"You never told me your name," Nightfall said as they entered a small room.  In a glance, Nightfall took in the small bed, an ancient chest at the foot, and the rickety chair and table under the single window.  He tried to appear as if the choice was casual as he leaned against the wall next to the window.

When he turned, he saw the captain watching him carefully.  "No, I didn't."

Nightfall raised a brow.

"My name is Celdurant," he said, looking cautiously to see if Nightfall showed signs of recognition.  That seemed odd to Nightfall, and the name did have a slight familiarity to it, but Nightfall was certain he'd never met this man before, in any guise but Sudian.  He wondered who Celdurant was, and why he expected Nightfall to recognize him by name alone.

"Nice to meet you, Celdurant," Nightfall replied with Balshaz's easy grin.  Now that it was just the two of them, he knew Celdurant would be paying even more attention to the slightest details.  And somehow, he knew the other man was expecting the same of him.  He felt the thrill of adrenaline spark through him again, even though no blades were drawn.  Celdurant's charcoal-black curls bounced mesmerizingly as he fell to a seat on the edge of the bed.  His pale eyes seemed to glow in the darker room as he stared at Nightfall, and he felt the smile ease off his face as the silence grew.  Nightfall kept himself from swallowing, wondering why he suddenly felt uncomfortable.  Celdurant's eyes finally broke contact with Nightfall's only to slowly travel down his chest, past his torso, all the way down his legs and all the way back to his eyes again, never saying a word.  Nightfall was mortified to realize he was blushing.

Oh.

He had known the captain admired his dexterity with the knives downstairs, and his cleverness in conversation, but he had not realized the depth of that appreciation.  Some parts of the world accepted men coupling with other men, but most found it reason for disgrace.  Nightfall wondered if the captain's fall from nobility had to do with his sexual preferences.  Nightfall himself had never had to deal with that kind of scandal.  It's not that he was immune or unaware of his attraction to other men.  He was constantly noticing how handsome Edward was, or Leyne, or anyone.  He'd never denied it.  But he'd also never been able to act on it.  Whether because the other man showed no interest, or it hadn't fit his current disguise, or because he was too busy surviving, the chance had never presented itself.  Yet now, here was Celdurant, who was still drinking in Nightfall with his eyes during his long moments of rapid reflection.  Nightfall wasn't sure what his own expression revealed.

Nightfall shifted.  He turned to lean against the side of the table, so he could turn his head and look out the window.  The narrow alley was an uninspiring view, but he needed time to think and a reason to hide his eyes.  "How well do you know Sudian?"  He originally asked as a way to stall for time, but as soon as the words were out he realized how fascinated he was to hear Celdurant's opinion of his real persona.

"Oh, so you really do know Sudian, then?"  The captain chuckled.

"Oh, so you really are going to take me to Alyndar, then?

"What's in it for my men?"

Nightfall thought quickly.  Somehow he hadn't prepared for this question, which seemed like a glaring hole in his planning.  "You wouldn't do it for Sudian?"

"It wouldn't be fair to the crew to travel without pay."

Nightfall considered.  "Half my profits from everything I sell in Alyndar.  And then you take me to Hartrin after."

The captain laughed, standing.  "You've got gall, Balshaz.  But I can accept your terms on behalf of my crew."  He walked toward Nightfall, leaning his hands on the old table.  "Now, what's in it for me?"

Nightfall swallowed.  Celdurant was facing the window, aglow from the ambient street light.  If possible, if was even more handsome up close.  His features were strong, his skin so smooth it would have made Nightfall embarrassed if his pockmarks were real.  His eyes shone in contrast to his pitch dark hair.

Nightfall enjoyed the view of Celdurant's visage as he considered his options.  He could take advantage of the captain's attraction toward him, and use him to further his mission.  But even if that was something that could fit with Balshaz the honest merchant, Nightfall hadn't had much experience with relationships like that.  A mistake could have greater consequences if the offended party had a greater emotional connection.  Besides, he'd been more successful with his attempts at honesty recently.  He should make an excuse, find another way to Alyndar if necessary.

The captain was still looking out the window.  He shifted slightly and his hand brushed, ever so slightly, against Nightfall's thigh where it was leaning against the table.  Nightfall shivered.  Celdurant turned to look Nightfall in the eye, waiting for an answer to his question.

If only Nightfall knew how to answer it.

"I'll help you out on the ship," he offered weakly.  "I know a thing or two about sailing."

"Mmm," was Celdurant's only response, still looking at Nightfall, expression unchanged.  Nightfall could only stare back, indecision and responsibility and promises and desire warring in his mind.  Celdurant leaned forward, so slowly, until Nightfall could feel his breathe against his face.  He told himself to stand up, back away, something, but he didn't move a muscle.

"Would you still take me to Alyndar, if I said no?" he whispered.

Celdurant froze in his approach, inches from Nightfall.  "Yes," he said, and Nightfall believed him.

Nightfall closed his eyes, closed the last breathe of distance between them, and pressed his lips against Celdurant's.

It was his first kiss with another man, and the world didn't explode, the ground didn't shake.  Instead there was warmth.  Softness.  A gentle pressure against his lips.  And a lightness in his chest he'd never felt before.

Then, Celdurant's lips parted, and his tongue grazed against Nightfall's lower lip.  A sudden, powerful surge of desire filled him from chest to loins, making him gasp.  As his lips parted involuntarily, Celdurant's tongue was in his mouth.  Nightfall gave in, kissing him with everything he had.  He lost himself, mind blank and focused only on the feel of Celdurant's mouth against his.

Celdurant shifted, and Nightfall felt the pressure of an arm sliding around his ribs.

He jumped back, head spinning.  He was Balshaz, with a face covered in cosmetics and a body shaped by silks.  It wouldn't do for Celdurant to discover the truth this way.

No, this wouldn't do.

"Celdurant, look," Nightfall started.  His blue eyes were a little glazed, mouth still parted, and confusion was starting to show.  "It's just, that, I really need to get to Alyndar.  I can't...get distracted...until my...business is complete."

Celdurant blinked, and he saw a quick flash of hurt in his eyes before he nodded and turned away.  He stood but didn't leave the room, facing away from Nightfall with his head down.  "We'll cast off at midday."  He headed for the door.

"Wait, I'm--" The door closed before Nightfall could finish.  "...Sorry."