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“she made her choice…we’re gonna have to find a way to live with that.”
“i should’ve come back for you…it was real to me, too.”
“don’t touch her! i will shoot! i will kill you all!”
“we’re both upside down…”
“yelena? yelena, are you there?”
yelena belova shakes her head, dispelling the thoughts, the memories, the pain that floods her as she clears her throat and nods, touching her finger to her ear to activate the earpiece in it.
“i’m here. do you see her?” she says roughly, looking through her binoculars for any sign of the woman she’s looking for before she hears a reply.
“yes. she’s with him, but keeping her distance. we should move fast.” yelena moves her binoculars to the building across from her now, sees the cavalcade of people gathered around each other on the sixth and top floor, laughing and clinking their wine glasses together before she kisses her teeth and sighs.
another widow, rita, victim to dreykov’s mind control, hired to take out an american diplomat that will see her in prison for the rest of her life, possibly even executed, because that’s what she’s been hired to do.
her employers have given her the task to kill this man, drop her weapon and let the police arrest her and take her away. and she will have no choice but to obey.
yelena can’t let that happen.
she’s just thankful another widow based here has joined her on this mission. she may be in new york, and yes…the thought crossed her mind to contact a certain bow and arrow enthusiast for back up, but this kind of work is something yelena would rather keep kate bishop far away from.
it’s not heroic business. it’s heartbreaking, and sometimes deadly. she can’t be worrying about that girl and her insane antics in her quest to be an avenger when she’s working. besides, this isn’t a job involving heroics or saving anyone. it will end with someone dying.
it’s a two birds one stone job here. yelena’s being offered big money to kill the man who hired rita to kill this american diplomat, so yelena’s plan seems obvious here.
hit rita with the red dust, free her, kill her employer, enjoy some h’ordeuvres, maybe pay a visit to kate bishop afterwards, depending on how late she finishes everything up, then head back home.
she’s already looking forward to relaxing in her bathtub with a nice glass of wine.
“go around the back, milana. i’ll meet you there.” yelena pushes herself up off her stakeout spot with a grunt, making her way towards the fire escape when-
“she made me, she’s on the move!” yelena’s heart stops.
“sukin syn! follow her! i’m on my way!” yelena jumps for the stairs, making her way down them two at a time before she jumps from the last ledge down to the floor, ignoring the twinge in her ankle and running as fast as she can towards the building just as her earpiece crackles to life.
“yelena, she’s going to attack him any minute-.”
“get her away from him! lead her out back!” yelena growls, her feet moving faster now, as quick as she can, she needs to get to them-
she goes around the back of the building within five minutes just as the fire escape door bursts open and milana’s crashing through the door and landing on the ground on her back, groaning as rita jumps through after her and goes on the attack-
yelena rushes her and tackles her to the floor, somersaulting as rita recovers and swings a leg right for her face, which she dodges and retaliates with a swinging fist that rita catches. she holds yelena’s forearm in her elbow and hyperextends it, leaving yelena’s body open for a swift kick to the ribs that has her doubling over with a gasp.
a knee strikes her forehead, and yelena’s head is spinning when rita’s hold on her loosens and disappears completely. yelena rights herself, her head already throbbing as she sees milana holding rita’s arms behind her back-
“do it!” she shouts, grunting as rita goes to move out of her hold, and yelena reaches into her vest pocket, pulls out the vial and sprays the red dust right into rita’s face.
rita sputters, stumbling in milana’s grip before she slackens, wiping at her face while milana lets her go and looks at yelena with worry.
“are you okay?” she breathes, gripping yelena’s elbow as the blonde waves her off and clutches her sore ribs.
“f-fine.” she gasps out, watching carefully as rita looks up at them both with nothing but confusion.
“rita? do you remember us?” milana asks her carefully. the tears that well in rita’s eyes is answer enough.
“i…i didn’t mean to hurt you, i’m sorry!” she whispers with horror, and milana sighs as rita walks forward and looks at them both with so much guilt, yelena finds her heart breaking as milana hugs rita close to comfort her.
“it’s okay, shh…let’s get you out of here.” she says softly, and yelena can’t help but smile as she nods at them both before looking up at the building.
“take her to your place, help her out. i’ll get to you as soon as i can.” she tells them. she hears milana sigh, and turns to see her still rubbing rita’s back comfortingly, but looking at yelena sadly.
“yelena, you don’t need to do this. i can set you up with a job where i work, you can get out of this whole thing-.”
“milana, please. thank you for coming out of retirement to help me with this, but the sooner you get her out of here, the sooner you can get back to your normal life. go on, i’ll be with you soon.” yelena reassures her, and thankfully, milana accepts defeat.
“be careful, yelena.” she says hollowly. yelena simply nods.
“always am.” she’s about to make her way in when rita grabs her hand.
“he’s on the third floor. he has an office there. if he goes upstairs to the party and sees i’m not there-.” she rasps out, but yelena squeezes her hand tightly with a smile.
“i’ll handle it. go, both of you.” and with that, she rushes into the building, making her way to the elevator and heading for the third floor.
she adjusts her vest, swallows thickly and licks her lips before making sure her weapons are ready to fire and wiping away the blood that drips down the side of her face from the cut above her brow.
she ignores the pounding headache building behind her eyes, ignores the pain in her heart that’s been with her all day.
because it’s december third.
it’s her sister’s birthday.
she blinks back tears, clenches her jaw and forces herself to focus, not to think about natasha, and how much she fucking misses her, and how it’s her forty first birthday today and she’s not here to celebrate it.
her sister is dead.
“it was real to me, too.”
she can’t, she needs to focus, she can’t think about that right now…
the elevator doors slide open, and yelena grips the gun holstered to her thigh and raises it, making her way out into the empty hallway, every office door locked shut when she checks it, and she makes her way to the left to find the lights on in one office.
this seems too…quiet.
something’s not right, her instincts telling her not to go into that room, but her mind’s not focused, and she just wants to get the job done.
so she walks in, looks around the room carefully-
and sees a woman with red hair standing at the window.
yelena pauses, eyes wide, breath coming out ragged because it can’t be, it can’t-
“natasha?” yelena breathes, the gun in her hand trembling, and the woman turns around-
“oh my god!” she gasps as she stumbles back into the window, eyes wide with horror and looking at yelena in shock while the black widow assassin stares at her with nothing but disappointment and sadness.
of course it's not her...natasha's gone, she's gone, she's never coming back...
her bottom lip trembles, tears welling in her eyes as the woman raises her hands with panic all over her face.
“please, don’t kill me!” she sobs.
“get out of here. now!” yelena growls, angry at herself for the stray tear that falls down her cheek as the woman whimpers and runs for the door.
yelena pinches the bridge of her nose, trying to tame the headache, she needs to focus, get her hands on her target-
“hey.”
she spins around with a gasp just as a gun goes off multiple times, and with each shot, she stumbles back from the impact.
two shots to the vest, which is bulletproof, that’s fine-
one in her shoulder, not protected, not fine.
another in her leg, also not protected, also not fine.
one that misses, hits the window behind her, which shatters and sends cold air flooding into the office, lucky.
one that manages to find the small gap between her vest and her belt, right at her hip.
…fuck.
yelena crumples to the ground, fire hitting her in three different places and flooding her entire body as she tries to crawl away, but she’s being grabbed and forced onto her feet by a rough grip on her hair, her entire body throbbing angrily while her vision begins to swim wearily.
“hmm…and who are you, exactly?” a deep voice asks, the voice unfamiliar, but yelena’s pretty sure this is the person that’s shot her.
“d-depends. who are you?” yelena gasps out, blinking back tears of agony as the voice chuckles and grips her by the lapels of her black widow suit now.
“mark ramsay, owner of this building and the man who’s about to throw you out of this window if you don’t tell me who you are.”
ah…good. she can't see his face but she knows that name.
“you first.” she says simply, and she grins before she’s activating her widow’s bites and jamming them into his stomach, forcing him back, and she’s falling with him out of the window and gripping him tightly to make sure he’s falling first, his screams echoing in her ear and the wind rushing through and hitting her body almost soothingly as they fall, fall, fall from the third floor all the way down-
and crash onto the top of a car that immediately begins blaring an alarm loudly.
yelena’s entire body jolts, but she escapes…relatively unharmed.
she still groans with pain and blinks back more tears as she rolls off the body beneath her and looks up at the sky.
she can hear people screaming around her in shock, and she groans and quickly reaches up behind her back with pain shredding into her shoulder from her action, gripping the hood attached to her black widow uniform and pulling it over her head to cover her face. her night vision goggles automatically tighten over her head and blink on, helping her see through the hood and the darkness of night as she stares down at her target to see his eyes wide and staring and blood pooling beneath his head.
she reaches for his pulse, feels nothing, and sighs with relief.
good, she doesn't need to make a scene.
she pulls her phone out, snaps a quick photo of his dead body and sends it to valentina, along with the message: ‘i’m now on vacation, put the money in and leave me be’, before she’s pushing herself off the top of the car and landing on all fours behind the car.
she can hear people beginning to make their way over with cries of shock and horror, and she quickly crawls towards the nearest pillar of the building she’s just fallen three stories off and hides behind it, praying no one’s seen her. she needs to take advantage of the adrenaline flooding her right now, get somewhere safe before her injuries catch up to her…
she collapses, her shoulder, her leg, her hip, her whole damn body aching terribly. she takes a few deep breaths in, and when no one comes rushing after her, she reaches up and pulls off her mask, gasping for air and blinking back more tears. she pushes herself up slowly, gasping in pain before she limps her way through the alleyway to the other side of the street, far away from the dead body and the sirens wailing in the distance.
stupid, very stupid, how did she miss him walking into the room?
she hates this fucking day. she hated it last year and she hates it this year. this day is gonna fucking get her killed.
she hails down a cab the second she sees one coming down the street, and she thanks all the gods she knows that she didn’t wear her white widow uniform for this mission, choosing to go with stealth by wearing her black one during a night mission. it’s also hiding all the fucking blood that’s no doubt pouring out of her body right now-
“where to?” the cab driver deadpans, looking at her as she opens the back door and somehow manages to get herself into it without crying at the absolute pain and torture it causes her.
any normal person would say the hospital, she knows this. but these are gunshot wounds, which means they’ll be required to call the cops, and then yelena will be carted off to the raft, more than likely, so that only really leaves-
“herman’s hearty slice pizzeria, please.” yelena rasps out, her vision really beginning to blur now as she sinks against the seat and tries to focus on her breathing, god, she’s gonna throw up…
the cab driver gets there within fifteen minutes, and yelena’s throwing money at him, not even caring if she’s overpaying him as she gets out of the cab and tries not to collapse. her head is spinning, her entire body hurts so much, the adrenaline’s definitely gone now…
she looks up, sees the pizzeria is flashing red with a ‘CLOSED’ sign, and she blinks with bleary eyes and looks around her to see the street quite empty.
she stands on shaking legs before she’s lifting the hand of her non-shot arm and aiming it for the window above the pizzeria.
this is all too familiar…
yelena shoots her grappling hook right for the window, hears the thunk of it hitting the ledge before she’s being lifted through the air, and she grabs the ledge with a loud whine when she lands at the burn it causes in her shoulder.
“holy shit!”
oh thank god, she’s home…
yelena collapses over the ledge, falls to the floor and stares up at the ceiling before two blurry faces swim into her vision.
“yelena?! what the hell?!” kate’s voice shouts in panic, but strong hands are the ones gripping her shoulder and causing her to cry out with pain.
“she’s been shot, multiple times by the look of it! kate, go grab the first aid kit! yelena? hey, come on kid, look at me!”
barton…it’s clint barton’s voice.
well…she doesn’t necessarily want him here, but she doubts kate would’ve been able to do much for her here. he might be able to with all his shield training, maybe she has a chance at living now.
his face slowly focuses, and yelena’s saying the first stupid thing that comes to her mind at the sight of him.
“it’s…her birthday.” she breathes, swallowing what feels like razorblades as clint looks down at her with wide eyes.
“what? what did you say?” he asks softly, gripping her face as yelena blinks back tears and her bottom lip trembles.
“natasha…her birthday…” she croaks out.
yelena doesn’t know what clint’s expression is after that because it goes blurry from the blood loss that’s causing her to lose consciousness.
“yelena, stay with me! kate, put pressure on her leg!”
yelena feels a deep weight on her leg, but an even deeper weight on her hip right on her wound, and she screams in agony, fire ripping through her before she feels the weight lifted off her quickly.
“what?! what did i do?” kate’s crying out. she feels her vest being unzipped, and clint’s gasping before he curses under his breath.
“shit! you were on her wound, she’s been shot in the hip, dammit…”
whatever else is said, yelena doesn’t hear.
she’s unconscious within seconds.
—
“you had to come to budapest, didn’t you?”
“i came here because i figured you wouldn’t.”
green eyes wrinkled with glee, a laugh that makes yelena’s heart feel warm-
“and you? you got out. dreykov made sure no one could escape. are you gonna say anything?”
now they’re filled with guilt, with sadness, and pity, she hates her, she hates her so much-
“i should’ve come back for you…it was real to me, too.”
and yet she loves her. she loves her more than she’s ever loved anyone or anything before in her entire life-
the sound of sniffing pulls her out of the dark depths she’s swimming in, and the pain slowly begins to settle as she tries to open her eyes, but even that hurts more than it should.
“yelena? can you hear me?” the voice sounds distant, but yelena forces her eyes open, sees nothing but a ceiling that swims in and out of sight before she swallows the lump in her throat.
“where am i?” she croaks out.
“in my apartment. you’ve been out for almost a day.” yelena looks to the side, sees blue eyes and long black hair and a beautiful, but concerned face staring back at her.
a face that smiles as she licks her dry lips and realizes what kate bishop has just said.
she’s been out for almost a day…
“it’s not december third anymore?” she whispers, tears building not just from the pain in her body as kate frowns.
“…no. it’s december fourth now.” she tells her. yelena whines, her body unwilling to move before clint barton suddenly moves into view behind kate slowly.
“it’s not her birthday anymore, yelena. you can breathe now.” he tells her softly. the sadness in his eyes mirrors her own, she knows this as he crouches down beside her, rests a gentle hand on her wrist and yelena clenches her jaw and feels her stomach turn with nausea.
when will it stop hurting? she wants to ask him, but clearly he doesn't have an answer, because the pain is still with him, too.
“you were talking about her in your sleep…” kate whispers suddenly, looking up at yelena sadly, and the blonde blinks once at her, that nausea only growing before she clears her throat.
not now…not now, she can’t do this right now.
“what’s the damage?” she asks roughly, ignoring kate and looking up at clint, who nods at her knowingly.
“two broken ribs, gunshot to the thigh, the hip and the shoulder, all patched up with some less than stellar, but still pretty good surgical work thanks to her.” clint says with a sad smile, nodding up at someone to the left of her, and yelena slowly turns her head to see a woman with dark hair, dark eyes, but a kind face step into view, raising a hand in greeting towards her with a smile.
“hi…i’m laura. clint’s wife, and i was a close friend of natasha’s. she told me a lot about you, yelena.” she says kindly, making her way around to where kate and clint are, both of whom step back as she crouches down beside her now.
“oh…hello. nice to meet you. sorry it’s under these circumstances.” yelena croaks out. laura chuckles before she’s reaching beside her for something and pulling out what looks like a stethoscope.
“how are you feeling, honey?” she asks, pressing the cold metal to yelena’s chest to listen to her heart rate.
“like i’ve been hit by a truck five times.” yelena groans, her entire body throbbing angrily as she takes a breath in.
“yeah, you were in pretty bad shape, enough for clint to call me here. i’m gonna check your wounds, make sure everything’s okay, alright? you wanna tell me what happened? ” laura asks her as she lifts the blanket that’s covering her off her body.
clint turns suddenly, and so does kate, and yelena frowns and looks down to see she’s naked underneath the blanket.
it’s not that big of a deal, is it? it must be, clint and kate are now facing the wall to give her privacy which she guesses is nice of them, and kate’s face is turning red, but yelena’s had people stare at her naked body before without her consent, what does it matter if-
“yelena?” laura asks, pulling her out of her thoughts, and she swallows before she shrugs, then hisses at the way it jolts her shoulder.
“uh, i was saving a widow from the mind control serum, i got shot a lot of times then fell through a window three floors high and landed on top of a car. a man broke my fall, he’s dead now.” yelena deadpans, wincing when laura pokes at the wound on her hip before she’s bandaging it again and moving to the one on her thigh.
“was he intentionally there to break your fall?” clint asks gruffly. yelena smiles sheepishly.
“well…” clint pinches the bridge of his nose as laura sighs and raises an eyebrow at her.
“well, if it was between you or him, i’m glad you came out of it.” she says simply. yelena smiles, looks down to see there’s still a lot of blood staining her skin as laura finishes up on her leg and begins working on her shoulder.
“i am getting blood on your sheets, kate bishop. i’m sorry.” yelena says hoarsely, and to her surprise, kate scoffs and glances back at her briefly before she’s facing the wall again.
“that’s okay, yelena. just wanna make sure you’re alright.” she tells her softly, and yelena grunts.
“never better. i fell from a plane thirty thousand feet in the sky and lived, it takes more than a few bullet wounds and a fall to kill me.” she tells her firmly. kate scoffs and looks back at her again with amusement before she’s facing the wall again with her face turning even more red.
what is she so shy for?
“you do realize the insanity of that sentence, right?” yelena grins at that, and laura chuckles before she finishes up and looks at her with a smile.
“hmm…everything looks good. no internal bleeding in the hip, but i’m worried about it…stay here for the next few days, maybe even weeks, okay? let kate keep an eye on you, and the both of you keep us updated every few hours. if those wounds get infected or you notice anything odd, especially with the hip, you call us right away.” laura says firmly, covering yelena back up with the blanket and causing kate to spin around with wide eyes.
“you’re leaving?” she blurts out. clint sighs and turns as well.
“we can’t stay. not safe.” he says firmly.
“why isn’t it safe?” kate demands. clint and laura share a look before he’s clenching his jaw and nodding at them both.
“you two will be okay. just do what we said, alright? yelena, don’t leave this bed for at least a few days, you hear me?” clint demands. yelena scoffs at him.
“you’re not my dad.” she grumbles.
“no, but i’m your sister’s best friend, so do what i say.” he tells her sternly. yelena glares at him.
"merry christmas to you too, barton." she grumbles with a roll of her eyes, a groan escaping her when it causes her head to throb as laura jumps up and squeezes her hand tightly.
“stay hydrated and fed. keep your energy up. i know the kind of treatment you’re used to with injuries, but you’re not there now, okay? you don’t need to rush to get healthy. take your time, rest as much as you can.” laura tells her. yelena’s heart aches, and she clenches her jaw, but nods once.
“she really told you two everything, didn’t she?” she asks. laura chuckles, and yelena’s almost frozen in shock when laura leans in to kiss her hair softly.
“not everything, i’m sure. natasha romanoff’s secrets had secrets.” she teases before she stands and looks to clint with a smile.
“alright, let’s go home to our rascals. scott and hope have better things to do than babysit our children.” she says happily. clint nods with a smile.
“let’s go. remember what i said, you two!” he says, looking between yelena and kate as the dark haired girl salutes him with two fingers.
“got it, boss!” they make their exit down the stairs, and the second the front door echoes being shut, yelena winces as she tries to push herself up out of bed, but kate’s immediately rushing to her side and pushing her down gently by her good shoulder.
“nuh uh! didn’t you hear what they just said?!” kate exclaims.
“oh really? his wife is a doctor now? why should i listen to what she says?” yelena grunts, but finds herself sinking back against the pillows anyway, too weak to fight her.
“she was a bit vague on the details, but said something about her previous job involving a lot of medical training, so…” kate trails off, looking down at her with worry, and yelena sighs before she licks her dry lips and nods at kate once.
“can i get some water?” she asks softly, her throat burning as kate’s eyes widen before she jumps up.
“yeah, of course! uh, one second…” kate rushes down the stairs, and yelena takes a moment to look around the room with a smile. it hasn’t changed much at all since she broke into this apartment last year, except there’s now photos of clint and kate training together and hanging out hanging from her mirror, and her archer’s outfit, the purple one yelena had seen her wear last year at rockefeller center, is on a mannequin in the corner of the room, ready to be put on at a moment’s notice.
kate is rushing back up the stairs with a cup of water and a straw, and she crouches beside yelena and holds the straw to her lips.
“i can hold the cup, kate bishop.” yelena deadpans, but even reaching up for it causes her shoulder to burn, and kate looks at her with a raised eyebrow as she drops her arm quickly and glares at her angrily.
“fine.” she says simply, and kate chuckles and holds the straw to her lips. yelena sips it slowly, feeling completely useless, and she hates it.
“here, laura told me you should drink these every couple of hours. i think they’re pain pills of some kind.” kate says softly, brushing her hair back from her face as she pops two pills out of aluminum casing and holds them up to yelena’s lips.
yelena takes them, sighing as she sips more water, and within minutes of swallowing them, she finds her eyes beginning to droop closed once more.
“what…those pills…” yelena slurs out, her body sagging into the pillows as kate takes her hand and squeezes it.
“they’re just gonna help you sleep, yelena. you need to rest so you can heal, i’m here, okay? you can trust me, i promise.”
yelena panics for just a moment, but kate’s hand is still in her own, and her eyes are closing before she can stop them.
—
that’s how the first three days go.
kate dotes over her like an annoying fly, but albeit a very pretty one, yelena will admit.
she brings her food, mostly pizza or sandwiches, which yelena wrinkles her nose at but eats anyway in small bites as the days go by. she drinks the pills laura gave her, falls asleep, and is out like a light for a solid twelve hours every night.
kate doesn’t leave her side.
yelena wants to tell her how thankful she is, but kate is making sure she’s resting as much as possible with those damn pills, keeping her fed and hydrated, and yelena doesn’t have the energy to fight her on it.
but on the third day, yelena finally puts her foot down.
when she wakes up in the morning, kate’s still by her side.
she’s fast asleep in a chair, her head bowed and her arms crossed over her chest, but she suddenly startles awake and looks up the second she hears yelena groan, her eyes wide and blinking away the sleep as she leans in and takes yelena’s hand once again.
“hey, how are you feeling?” kate asks with a smile, something in her eyes that yelena can’t describe as she looks at her. yelena swallows thickly, her tongue like sandpaper in her mouth.
“i’m okay. water?” yelena whispers, blinking back tears when she moves to sit up and pain rips through her whole body.
this has to be the worst injury she’s ever had, she can barely move and it’s almost been four days which means it’s almost been a week, this fucking sucks…
kate holds a straw to her lips, and yelena takes the cup from her hands and sips slowly, looking up at kate resolutely when she finishes the cup of water and says:
“shower.” she says firmly.
“hey, we can think about that later, okay? you need to stay in bed.” kate says, and yelena hates those words the second they come out of her mouth.
she refuses to be bed bound any longer. she won’t.
which is why the second kate’s putting the cup on her nightstand, yelena’s reaching for the blankets and throwing them off herself with a whine.
“whoa!” kate jumps up and spins around to face the wall, and yelena rolls her eyes and winces as she tries to sit up slowly.
“wait, what are you doing?! i can’t see you-.”
“then turn around and face me, i need help getting up!” yelena growls, the pain hitting staggering levels with each movement.
that has kate spinning back around quickly.
“what?! no, yelena, you can’t move-.”
“it has been three days, i am covered in dried blood and i refuse to be bed bound anymore, so either you help me or i do it myself. i need a shower.” yelena grunts, trying not to convey the agony that rips through her when she tries to sit up, and kate’s hesitating before she rushes to yelena’s side, her gaze focused up on the ceiling as she grips yelena’s hand and curls an arm around her waist.
“okay, just go slow, i’ve got you-.”
“why are you looking at the ceiling?” yelena sighs, sweat building on her brow as she slowly inches further and further up and tries not to whimper at the pain that rips through her hip and her shoulder.
“uh, well, b-because you’re naked and i don’t wanna-.”
“i don’t really care if you see me naked, kate bishop. some men paid a lot of money for the privilege and you are getting it for free.” yelena says with another sigh of defeat, finally pushing herself up into a seated position and gripping kate’s hand tightly from the pain it causes.
“wait, what?” kate breathes, yelena whimpering and biting down on her lower lip as she slowly turns and rests her feet on the floor.
“nothing. you can look, it’s fine. please, i just…i need help.” yelena admits with embarrassment, looking up at kate pleadingly, hating that she’s even in this position.
but kate’s deep blue eyes meet her own, and the girl looks devastated as she purses her lips before she nods.
“okay, come on, let’s get you up. lean on me, okay?” she croaks out, and yelena uses her good arm to grip kate’s shoulder, slowly pushing herself up and resting her weight on her good leg as well.
it still hurts.
she whines, tears falling before she can stop them as kate wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her up the rest of the way. she grabs the wrist of her good arm and pulls it over her neck, and yelena looks at the stairs ahead of them with a groan.
“your skin’s really hot…” kate murmurs with worry, but yelena’s nodding towards her chest of drawers to the side of her bed.
“do you have a bathrobe?” she croaks out. kate nods, leans down while still supporting yelena’s weight and opens a drawer and pulls out a thin bathrobe that yelena nods in approval of. she helps yelena slip into it, ties it around her waist to keep it from falling off, then supports her once more as they make their way to the stairs.
“okay, so the stairs-.”
“you’re going to have to carry me.” yelena sighs. kate looks at her in shock.
“wait, really? okay, y-yeah, that’ll be easy enough, how do you wanna do this?” yelena raises an eyebrow at her, and kate looks at her in confusion.
“i shoot arrows and train in combat almost every day, you’re what? a hundred and twenty, a hundred and twenty five pounds? i’ve got you, okay? now how do we do this?” yelena frowns, hesitates, but then kate is rolling her eyes and hoisting yelena up slightly, the blonde shouting out in surprise despite herself as kate lets her lean her full weight onto her side and begins walking down the stairs with ease.
but god, does every movement hurt. yelena keeps her lips sealed, doesn’t even remotely show it on her face or make a noise, but kate quickens her pace when she notices a slight wince until they reach the bottom.
yelena blinks once in surprise, watching kate as she hurries down the second set of stairs and lets yelena rest her good leg on the ground. yelena takes a few deep breaths in, grateful that she’s doing this now even though five days is hardly long enough to heal from gunshot wounds.
“bathroom’s right there, do you want me to carry you there?” she asks, nodding to the door next to the small kitchen as yelena clenches her jaw, but nods.
“please…” she says, voice small and defeated, and kate smiles at her reassuringly before she lifts her once more and takes off.
more pain, god, she’s gonna throw up…
yelena’s impressed, she’ll admit, but she hates every single thing about this. relying on kate to carry her around, like she’s some kind of child, it’s embarrassing-
“alright, let me get the bathtub filled, just sit here, okay?” kate says softly, kicking the toilet seat down with her foot and gently setting yelena down on it. yelena leans against it tiredly, her entire body aching and her breath ragged.
that took too much out of her…way too much, shit, maybe this wasn’t a good idea.
"don't touch her! i will kill you all!"
natasha...her voice in her head...
she’s fading in and out of consciousness again, the pain numbing her to everything else, and she faintly hears kate bustling around, hears the sound of water running before a soft hand is cupping her cheek.
“yelena? hey, the water’s ready, i’m gonna take your bandages off, we’ll wash the blood off and re-bandage everything upstairs, alright? yelena, you’ve gotta wake up.” kate tells her.
"you just didn't want your baby sister to tag along whilst you saved the world with all the cool kids."
"you weren't really my sister."
yelena simply nods against her, too weak to do anything else as the echoes in her mind continue.
she doesn’t know what happens next, only faintly feels the bathrobe and the bandages being peeled off her body, only slightly feels herself being lifted up and practically carried into the bathtub, her body protesting and forcing a loud groan out of her.
“i know, i’m sorry, just keep breathing…” kate whispers into her ear.
and then, water…
it feels like she’s being dunked in ice, it feels so good.
she moans with relief and sinks into it, feels gentle hands holding her above the water as kate’s face swims in and out of focus.
“i’ve got you, just relax, i’ll clean your wounds and the blood, okay?”
“you were so scared…about seeing me naked…just fifteen minutes ago…” yelena breathes, smiling as kate chuckles and brushes her hair back from her face.
“yeah, well, now i just wanna make sure we get you back upstairs to bed safe and sound.”
yelena’s not sure what happens next. things blur in and out of focus, everything just a whirlwind of pain and the feeling of water rushing over her body, and gentle hands wiping at her skin until the pain of everything is forcing her under…
something’s not right. her skin feels so hot, everything feels hot and suffocating…is she dying?
kate tapping a bowl of water on the rim of the bathtub to clear it of soap…
a stick slamming against the ground, keeping beat as she spins and spins and makes sure her form is perfect…
“these injuries are not tolerated, yelena…you must be better next time.”
“i will…i’ll be better, madame b, i promise…” yelena rasps, whining when she hears that all too familiar chuckle.
“the graduation ceremony will already require healing time. your test will be next week, followed by the procedure. make sure you are ready.”
“i will be ready…i will be.” yelena swallows, her entire body trembling when she hears a soft sigh and fingers raking through her hair.
“yelena…” a voice whispers, a voice that sounds so distant, too far away-
“yelena?” soft fingers run through her hair, her left hand raised towards the headboard before it’s being handcuffed to the railing. she feels the tears falling, a soft whine escaping her as she looks up at the woman who smiles down at her softly.
“there’s no need to cry, child. you are home now.” she says, but yelena doesn’t feel like she’s home.
“natasha…where’s-.”
“natasha? i want my sister!” she cries, sobbing as she tugs on the handcuff desperately, the woman sighing before she’s pinching yelena’s ear between her fingers.
she cries out at the pain-
yelena moans, her entire body aching, gentle hands gripping her own flailing ones before she feels water on her face, wiping away sweat and dried blood…
“you will forget about natasha, yelena. she is not your family. we are your family, now. you will be trained here, with your sisters. we will turn you from glass into marble. unbreakable.”
she wants to go home, she doesn’t want to stay here, she wants her mommy and daddy back, she wants her sister back!
“no! i want my mommy! where’s my mommy! where’s-.”
“natasha…where’s my natasha, i want my natasha, where’s my sister…” yelena whines, tears falling before she can stop them before she feels lips being pressed to her brow.
“she’s not here, yelena, i’m sorry…shh, it’s okay, i’m here.” the voice sounds broken, saddened, and it makes yelena feel sad for them, but before she can ask them if they’re okay, the darkness takes over and pulls her under.
—
once again, yelena wakes up and feels a soft mattress and cold blankets over her body.
she frowns, unsure of where she is, how she got here or what she’s doing here when she hears a soft gasp beside her.
“yelena?”
a warm hand slips into her own, and yelena sighs happily and opens her eyes to see kate bishop looking down at her with bloodshot eyes and dark circles under them, like she hasn’t slept in days, hair slightly disheveled, what happened to her?
“kate bishop?” she rasps out. kate’s eyes brim with tears quickly.
“god, it feels good to hear you say that.” she croaks out, chuckling and sniffing as yelena frowns at her and slowly sits up with a wince.
“what happened? is everything okay?” she asks. kate quickly helps her sit up, looking panicked for just a moment before she sighs shakily.
“you got an infection. you collapsed in the bathtub, i had to call clint and laura back. laura patched you up, gave you an iv of fluids to fight off the fever, but you’ve been out for almost four days, yelena.” kate says defeatedly, looking beyond exhausted as yelena gathers her bearings and realizes she’s back in kate’s bed on clean sheets and actually wearing clothes this time, small little sweat shorts and a wifebeater.
that’s an upgrade.
“where are they?” she asks, noticing the absence of said bartons as kate rubs at her eyes and fights off a yawn.
“clint took laura home, said he’d be back…he said it’s too dangerous for her to be out in the open, i don’t…i don’t really know the story there, i think laura might be in the witness protection program or something-.”
“she’s a former shield agent.” yelena says simply. kate’s eyes widen.
“h-how do you know-.”
“i was shot three times and she somehow was able to fix me with barely any surgical instruments and a first aid kit for help. one of the first things they teach any spy is how to keep yourself alive no matter what situation you’re in.” yelena deadpans, looking down at her shoulder to see it bandaged completely, along with one covering a majority of her left hip and her left thigh.
“i did not connect the dots on that, wow.” kate breathes.
“so…am i gonna live?” yelena asks nonchalantly. she definitely feels much better than she did a few days ago, that’s for sure.
“well, laura told me if you wake up and the fever’s broken that you should be, so…open up?” kate asks weakly, and yelena rolls her eyes, but opens her mouth and allows kate to place a thermometer in it. she pulls it out once it beeps, and at the gigantic grin that spreads on her face, yelena takes it as an indication she’s okay.
“ninety nine point two! perfect!” she says gleefully. yelena offers her a small smile back and sinks against the pillows with a tired sigh.
“can’t believe a few gunshot wounds knocked me out for over a week-oh shit, kate, where’s my phone?” yelena asks quickly, panic flooding her as kate raises an eyebrow and jumps up, reaching over to her dresser, where yelena sees her black widow uniform and her vest.
“left pocket of my vest.” yelena tells her, reaching her hand up with a wince as kate pulls out her phone and hands it to her.
four messages from milana asking her if she’s okay.
“shit…she’s probably worried sick.” yelena murmurs, sighing as she quickly types out a message telling milana she’s okay and that she’ll see them as soon as she can.
she ignores the message from valentina telling her she has another assignment for her.
“who?”
“the widow i helped save and the widow that helped me save her. i told them to get out of there before i continued my assignment.” yelena runs her fingers through her hair, fatigue gripping her as kate sits down on the edge of the bed and holds up a half eaten sandwich to her.
“gotta eat something.” she says with a shrug when yelena raises an eyebrow at her. the blonde takes the sandwich, taking a bite and chewing slowly as kate watches her with something close to relief.
“i sent a message to clint letting him know you woke up. he’s worried about you.” she tells her. yelena rolls her eyes despite herself.
“tell him not to worry. i am okay.” kate scoffs at that.
“i think that’s kind of impossible, you’re natasha’s sister…” she trails off suddenly, looking at yelena with wonder before she leans in a little closer and takes yelena’s hand into her own.
yelena’s not sure when their friendship progressed past hand holding, but she doesn’t necessarily mind it.
“yelena, while you were unconscious, or well, fading in and out of consciousness, i guess…you mentioned natasha’s name. a lot. i don’t know what you were dreaming about, but every single time, you asked for her.” kate tells her softly, with an air of pity that has yelena slowly slipping her hand out of her grip with a wince and a clenched jaw.
“i…i guess i just miss her.” she says aloofly, but kate shakes her head.
“it’s more than that. yelena, have you ever spoken to anyone about natasha?” she asks. yelena’s head snaps up at that.
“why would i do that?” she demands and kate frowns at her.
“because sometimes it’s good to talk about the people we’ve lost. it helped me recover from losing my dad. maybe it’ll help you, too.” she tells her with a reassuring smile that has yelena scoffing in disbelief.
“what will it help, kate? she’s gone, and she’s never coming back. i can talk about her until my voice is hoarse and my heart is hurting so much, i can no longer breathe, it won’t change anything. why put myself through that pain?” she asks firmly. kate chews on the inside of her cheek, clearly contemplating an answer before she simply shrugs.
“pain only makes us stronger.” she says.
yelena’s heart aches.
“pain only makes you stronger, remember?”
“what did you just say?” she breathes.
“it’s like a saying, you know, pain only-.” kate starts, but yelena’s gripping her hand again and squeezing it to get her to shut up.
“yeah…yeah, i know the saying.” she mutters. kate watches her apprehensively, and yelena hesitates before she licks her lips…
and natasha's face appears before her eyes as she closes them, smiling at her and nodding once as if encouraging her to do it.
“where do i even start?” she croaks out, opening her eyes and meeting deep ocean blue ones instead of the green she so desperately wants to see.
kate’s smile is life changing.
“maybe from the beginning?”
—
yelena doesn’t fully heal until about a month after she was first shot.
in that month, she tells kate everything.
she tells her about her time in the red room, about ohio, about natasha, and melina and alexei, about missions she went on, about the agony of everything she was forced to do, about bringing the red room down, being snapped...everything.
mostly she talks about the pain of losing her sister.
kate listens, smiles when she needs to, cries when she wants to, and looks at yelena in awe for almost every part of it.
yelena stays with kate under clint and laura’s orders, which she hates, but kate refuses to let her leave as well, and it’s a little harder to disobey kate bishop than it is to disobey the bartons, so, yelena stays.
she stays with her as the snow begins to fall outside, stays with her as the christmas carols begin to sound on the streets outside from pedestrians and the christmas lights begin to glint through the open window that apparently kate hasn’t gotten repaired since her stint with the tracksuit mafia last year.
“i just haven’t gotten around to it!” kate had said sheepishly, and yelena hadn’t pushed her on it, but something tells her she did it for a reason.
that reason being why yelena is here with her now in the first place.
kate gets them a christmas tree two weeks into yelena’s recovery, the blonde managing to get herself up and down the stairs now with only minor difficulty, and she helps kate decorate the tree with a smile. milana and rita come to visit her on the twentieth and they bring her dog fanny with them, and the sight of her dog has yelena feeling even better than she did before as fanny licks her face as way of greeting.
kate mutters something about not being able to believe she has three black widows in her apartment, but apart from that, she’s the perfect host to them.
fanny and lucky get along beautifully, and when kate wakes yelena up on christmas day and hands her a gift, yelena feels guilt grip her tightly.
especially when she pulls out a two fingered ring in the shape of an arrow.
“so you have something to remember your best friend by!” kate tells her with a cheeky smile that has yelena’s heart aching with something close to affection.
yelena puts the ring on and doesn’t take it off, and when she complains about her lack of a gift to kate and kate brings up that she’s been stuck in the apartment for almost a month, yelena’s the one who takes her hand, grabs their coats and takes them outside into the snow.
the pain is manageable, but she keeps her arm looped in kate’s just in case she falls.
kate’s grip on her is too tight for that to happen, but neither of them mention it, and the cold reminds yelena so much of home, the smile on her face doesn't fade the longer they stay out in it.
yelena tells kate about how much natasha loved the cold too, and kate surprises her by grabbing a stick and carving natasha's name into the snow.
it will melt and fade or someone will step on it, yelena knows this, but the gesture is so kind, she buries her face into kate's shoulder to hide her tears at the sight of it.
on new year’s eve, kate takes yelena to the rooftop of the pizzeria, which isn’t exactly high, but is still good enough for them to see the fireworks, and as they lounge on two pull out chairs with herman bringing them up a pizza and some beers, they actually get to see something even cooler.
“holy shit, is that spider-man?!” kate’s exclaiming, pointing to their right just as yelena turns to see a red and blue figure come zipping past them, performing a bunch of twirls in the sky before yelena cups her hands over her mouth and screams:
“happy new year, spider-boy!”
he turns back to face them in mid-air, and yelena only faintly hears back-
“it’s spider-man! happy new year!” he echoes out before he’s disappearing off between a bunch of other buildings, and kate’s sinking back into her chair with a wide grin as he watches him go.
“man, this city is awesome.” she breathes. yelena shrugs.
“i’ve seen better. but natasha always did talk about how much she loved new york.” yelena says with a sad smile, one that’s echoed in kate’s own face.
kate bishop, who has now heard everything about natasha romanoff, and just how much yelena belova loved her. kate bishop, who probably feels like she knew natasha romanoff on the same level yelena and clint did with how much yelena has spoken about her.
“to natasha?” she whispers hoarsely, holding up her beer bottle, and yelena clinks her own against kate’s, her heart aching at similar memories in budapest with her beloved sister.
“to natasha.” kate takes a sip of her beer, and then she looks out at the open sky before them, sighing deeply before she pouts her lips, and whistles.
she whistles natasha’s side of their secret whistle, pitch changing from low, to high.
yelena blinks back tears, and when kate looks at her and holds out her hand, yelena takes it and whistles back.
high, to low.
kate smiles at her, and yelena’s not really sure how it happens, but she finds herself placing her beer bottle at her feet and leaning over until she’s cupping kate’s cheek in her hand and she’s kissing her.
it’s a little awkward, because kate’s facing forward and yelena didn’t exactly think angles through, but she corrects it by gripping kate’s chin and turning her face, kissing her properly this time, and kate’s over the shock of it within two seconds and is kissing her back, tucking loose strands of blonde hair behind yelena’s ears and smiling into the kiss before she pulls away with a laugh and rests her forehead against yelena’s.
“you’re supposed to kiss me at midnight.” she says hoarsely.
“then we’ll kiss at midnight as well.” yelena whispers back before she’s capturing her lips once more.
jokes on them, though…
they don’t stop kissing until well after midnight.
and as much as yelena's sure her heart will always have a piece missing for the sister she's lost, for her natasha...
kate bishop's place in her heart provides enough warmth to make up for it.