Work Text:
Can I have a minute?
I've gotta tell you something
I heard that someone likes you
And it might be nothing
But he's right in front of you
“So,” Neil starts out, trying to make his tone as cool and casual as possible, even though his heart feels like it’s beating its way out of his chest. “I’ve got this friend.”
Andrew pauses what he’s grabbing from his locker and stares blankly at Neil. “You have friends?”
Neil’s mouth twitches despite himself. “Unfortunately. Or else Matt and Dan are the nicest stalkers I’ve ever met.”
“It’s how they lull you into a false sense of security.”
“Ah, I see,” Neil tilts his head as he leans against the locker next to Andrew’s. “This is all part of their nefarious plan, then?”
“Exactly.”
“Okay. So, once I’m lulled, then what happens?”
“Then they grab you, blindfold you, throw you in the back of a van, and…” Andrew pauses before sighing. “Knowing them, they’d probably surprise you with a free day at an amusement park or a laser tag party or some shit like that.”
“Ugh, disgusting,” Neil says solemnly. “Who would want that?”
“Nerds,” Andrew says promptly. “Like you.”
“Hey! Weren’t you the nerd who bugged me like six times this summer to go to the water park?”
“That’s because it was goddamn hot, and all you wanted to do was run around on the court with Day, like an idiot.”
Neil grins. “So does that make you an idiot, too, since you were on the court with us every time?”
“No,” Andrew huffs. “I was there because some people need supervision. Otherwise, they’d blow out their legs and then whine at me for weeks about how they can’t run and are bored out of their minds.”
“Hmm, you’re right. Day can be a real pain in the ass when he overdoes it,” Neil nods with a straight face, only breaking into a laugh when Andrew pushes his face away from him.
He closes his locker, and the two of them begin walking down the crowded hallway.
Neil clears his throat. “So anyway, about this guy – um…” He takes a deep breath then expels the words from his mouth in a rush, “I heard that he likes you.”
“Heard?”
Neil swallows. “Uh, well, actually, he told me himself, so I know it’s true.”
Andrew bristles for just a second before his eyes coolly flash back at Neil. “So?”
“So, um, would you be interested in meeting him? Maybe?”
“No.”
Neil’s heart sinks a little. “Oh. Like, not at all?”
“No, Josten. Like, not at all,” Andrew repeats, rolling his eyes. He pauses at the corner of the hallway where they need to split – Andrew to go to his English class and Neil to his Advanced Geometry. “You know I don’t do ‘like.’”
“Yeah, I know,” Neil rubs his upper arm with his other hand, bookbag shifting precariously on his shoulder as he does so. “But I just thought-”
“Well, do us both a favor and stop thinking so much,” Andrew scoffs as he begins walking away. “And tell that guy if he bothers you again to fuck off.”
Neil sighs, feeling his chest concave a little as he answers with a quiet, “Okay.”
He's kinda my size
Don't look back cuz' he's looking
I think you know him
But you just don't know that he's right in front of you
“So Andrew,” Neil starts again as he sits next to Andrew at practice a few days later and begins stretching.
“No,” comes the resounding answer from the blonde.
“Oh, come on, Drew! You don’t even know what I was going to ask!”
“You were going to ask me about that guy again.”
Neil sputters. “But how did you-”
“I’m not interested in him,” Andrew says firmly, stretching his arm behind his head.
Neil gets caught up in the flex of Andrew’s bicep for a moment. Then he clears his throat and says stupidly, “But…you don’t know anything about him?”
Andrew turns and looks him in the eye. “I already told you, I don’t do ‘like.’”
“Right,” Neil says, backpedaling as he thinks through this a little. “Um, okay, so what if he doesn’t care if you like him back? That he’s down to…to do whatever.” His face flames a little at the suggestive meaning behind his words.
Andrew lifts his eyebrow a little. “What does ‘whatever’ mean?”
Neil’s brow furrows. “Whatever means…well, whatever, right?”
“Sounds like he’s not sure what he wants if even you can’t tell what he means.”
“Uh…maybe I just don’t want to repeat it?”
“Why?”
“Because it’s…naughty.”
“Naughty, huh?” Andrew’s mouth quirks, making Neil flush further. The redhead huffs and throws himself onto his back, pulling his right leg up towards his chest and wrapping his arms around it to stretch it.
A moment later, he hears rustling before Andrew is perched over him. He tilts his head, waiting until Neil gives him a nod. Then he replaces Neil’s hands on his shin and slowly leans his full weight onto it.
Neil groans as his hamstring is fully stretched, a little thrill going through him to have Andrew’s solid weight pressing him down. Which is silly because they’re in the middle of the gym with the rest of their teammates. Meaning even if Andrew was as into him as Neil is Andrew, they’re the furthest thing away from doing anything remotely…naughty right now.
As Andrew leans over him, though, his voice is low and gravelly as he whispers, “Aww, poor Josten. Don’t want to play cupid anymore?”
He moves closer, and Neil is trapped in the tawny hazel color of his eyes, his mouth falling open a little as Andrew presses his leg deeper into his chest. “No,” Neil whispers, licking his lips.
He watches Andrew’s gaze drop to them, and there’s the slightest pause he makes.
Neil’s heart starts beating faster.
Andrew leans closer until Neil can see the freckles dotting his cheeks, can smell the minty gum he’s been chewing on his breath, can almost feel how soft his lips look if Andrew would just – if he’d just -
“Ow!” he snaps, rubbing the ear that Andrew just flicked.
“Then stop doing it,” Andrew tells him ruthlessly before sitting up and letting go of him. “And make sure you stretch out the left side too, junkie. You’ve been favoring it.”
Neil scowls at him. “Have not.”
Andrew just aims one of his patented stares at him.
“Okay, fine,” Neil sniffs. “Maybe just a little.”
Andrew rolls his eyes before standing up and bending over to grab his goalie racquet. “Get moving already, or Day will make us do extra laps.”
The move treats Neil to an up-close and personal view of Andrew’s perky bubble butt, which causes him to snap his head away quickly, his face burning. “I thought you said he can’t make you do anything,” he whips out instead, desperate to cover up his treacherous thoughts.
“By ‘we,’ I meant you because you would probably do it for fun, and I’d be forced to wait until you finished.”
“Aww, you’d wait for me?” Neil grins, hiding his hot face by pressing it into his shin and reaching his hands around his outstretched foot.
“You’re right. Forget it – if you get extra laps, you’re walking home.”
Neil pops his head up and narrows his eyes at Andrew. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me, Josten.”
Their gazes collide, and for a second, Neil forgets what they’re arguing about because Andrew looks so cool standing there. Relaxed in his workout clothes with his slightly tousled hair. Leaning his racquet over his broad shoulders like it’s nothing, his jaw sharp and his face blank and his eyes burning as he stares back at Neil -
“Josten! Minyard! Stop flirting and get over here!” Jeremy, their co-captain, calls to them, blowing his whistle for good measure.
Neil rolls his eyes before calling back in an aggravated tone, “We’re not flirting!”
“Uh-huh. And I’m not in love with the foreign exchange student who only speaks French.”
“Dude, Jean is right there,” Matt says, nodding his head at the tall Frenchman beside him.
“And he hasn’t spoken a word of English since he got here,” Jeremy groans. “Believe me, I’ve tried everything.”
“Everything, huh?” Allison smirks, lifting an eyebrow.
Jeremy blushes.
Aaron furrows his brow before jerking a thumb at Jean. “So how the heck is he able to play with us if he can’t understand a word we’re saying?”
“Usually, Laila translates for him, but she had a dentist appointment today,” Jeremy says morosely. “Neil, would you mind…?”
“No problem,” Neil shrugs.
“Thank you,” Jeremy smiles at him.
“Hey, why can’t I translate for Jean?” Kevin scowls. “I know French too.”
“Yeah,” Neil snorts. “As in you know how to butcher it.”
“Oh, shut up!” Kevin scoffs in French. “Like you can speak it any better.”
“Jean’s ears are gonna start bleeding if he keeps listening to you.”
“Oh yeah? Well, I’ll bet he-”
“Both of your accents are horrible,” Jean smoothly cuts in.
Both Kevin and Neil flip him off.
“But if I had to pick one that is marginally less grating to listen to, it would be Neil,” Jean finishes, not pulling any punches.
Neil sticks his tongue out at Kevin, who scowls blackly.
“Um, so everything’s good?” Jeremy asks, glancing between the three of them.
“Jean is super excited that I’m going to be his translator for the day,” Neil tells Jeremy with a straight face.
He swears he hears a snort come from Jean but figures he must be imagining things. Maybe the Frenchman has a cold.
Beside him, Andrew also rolls his eyes, but Neil can see the faintest tinge of pink at the tips of his ears. Having known his best friend for years now, Neil knows this is a tell – but the question is, what caused it? Was it maybe something he said? Or was someone else responsible?
“Hm, still seems shady to me,” Allison tells them, turning to stare suspiciously at Jean. The other boy glares at her in return.
Jeremy rolls his eyes good-naturedly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Look, guys, if I was even the least bit worried, I definitely wouldn’t stand here and tell you how freaking hot he is and how much I want to jump his bones and possibly have his babies, okay?”
“Uh, do you want me to-” Neil begins to offer before Jeremy blushes and yelps, “No!”
Andrew quirks a brow.
Jeremy clears his throat. “I mean, no Neil, it’s fine, thanks.”
Neil sneaks a glance at Jean and swears he sees a slight smirk in the corner of his mouth, but it’s gone so quick that Neil’s not even sure he really saw it.
“Can we actually play Exy now, or are y’all not done with your gossip circle yet?” Dan deadpans.
“Yes! Exy! Let’s do that!” Jeremy squeaks. “You heard your co-captain! Everyone take your positions!”
Dan rolls her eyes.
Neil casts one last look at Andrew, who gives him a two-fingered salute before he saunters towards the goal at the opposite end.
Neil watches him go and sighs. Then he lifts his racquet up and gets ready to play.
Baby, you've been talking to him nearly every day
He really likes all the games that you play
I need to tell you to see what you say
Before he jumps in and he asks for a date
“I’m honestly flabbergasted by how much you suck at this,” Andrew declares.
He’s sitting upside-down on the couch, with his bare feet dangling over its back. The white-blonde, fine silk strands of his hair hang straight down as the blood slowly collects in his face. He holds his game controller loosely with one hand, the other in a bowl of caramel popcorn, and still somehow manages to completely pulverize Neil.
On the other hand, Neil is seated two feet away from the screen, tongue out and desperately punching at the remote controller with both hands. “It’s just – so – hard!”
“That’s what she said,” Aaron quotes as he walks in the room with Kevin.
“Nice,” Kevin grins, and the two of them high-five.
Andrew rolls his eyes at them.
Kevin launches himself over the side of the couch, causing Andrew to bounce when he lands while Aaron slides down onto the floor next to Neil.
“So we’re kicking Josten’s butt in Mario Kart, I take it?” Aaron asks.
Kevin scoffs. “Again? Ugh – it’s not even a challenge.”
Neil flips him off without looking back and manages to kill his character by driving it off the track.
“Nooooo!” he cries.
“Sweet. Restart,” Aaron smirks as they bring it back to the main screen and begin choosing their characters. “Prepare to be creamed, Josten.”
“That’s what he s-” Kevin starts before Andrew cuts him off with a pillow to the face.
“Stop. Gross.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Aaron shushes his twin, not drawing his eyes away from the screen as he starts the next race. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Andrew.”
Andrew hits him with a red shell onscreen, causing Aaron’s character to spin and Aaron himself to curse as he says, “Wait until I tell Katelyn you said that.”
Kevin laughs while Aaron’s face pales. “Yeah, well, I’ll tell…um…”
“Dean?” Kevin suggests.
“Cody?” Aaron squints.
“Marshall.”
“Billy.”
“Steven.”
“Joshua.”
“Very funny, assholes,” Andrew scowls at them. “It was Roland, and that was a while ago.”
“Right,” Kevin and Aaron both say at the same time.
Andrew scowls even harder. “I mean it.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Yep.”
“Ask Neil. He’ll tell you,” Andrew sniffs.
Kevin and Aaron exchange a look before Day casually asks, “Speaking of…anyone caught your eye lately, Josten?”
“What?” Neil flinches, causing his character to spin around and start driving the wrong way. “Why?”
Kevin shrugs. “Just wondering if anything’s changed on that front or if you’re still…you know…”
“Not swinging,” Aaron finishes for him.
“Um,” Neil says, staring hard at the screen and feeling his neck start to flush as he tries to get his character turned back round the right way.
“See? Now you know how it feels,” Andrew smirks, flipping himself right-side-up and pushing his bare foot into Neil’s shoulder.
Neil scowls at him.
“What do you mean?” Kevin asks.
“Neil keeps trying to set me up with this ‘friend’ of his,” Andrew rolls his eyes.
Another look is exchanged between Kevin and Aaron.
“A friend, huh? Didn’t know you had those, Josten,” Aaron teases, hitting Neil with another red shell as he laps him.
“Oh, fuck off!” Neil says heatedly and throws his game controller to the side.
“Who is this friend?” Kevin asks. “Do we know them?”
“Oh, well, um, maybe,” Neil replies cagily.
“Well, how do you know them?”
“Uh, they…go to our school.”
“Well, no shit, they go to our school – they’d have to if they have a crush on Andrew,” Aaron rolls his eyes.
“What grade are they in?” Day presses.
“Um, ours.”
“Really,” Kevin narrows his eyes. “Do any of us have classes with him?”
“Uh….” Neil swallows. “Nope, just me. He’s in my…stats class.”
It’s the only one he can think of off the top of his head that none of the others are in.
“Ugh, a math nerd,” Aaron screws up his nose.
“So? You’re a nerd too, moron,” Neil says heatedly.
“Yeah, a science nerd. World of difference, man.”
Andrew snorts.
“Is he hot?” Kevin asks.
“Um,” Neil starts again.
“Come on, Day? Why the heck are you even bothering to ask him?” Aaron scoffs. “First off, Josten’s asexual, but second off, he’s as oblivious as they come.”
“Hey!” Neil snaps. “I can tell if someone’s attractive…kind of.”
“Stunning defense,” Andrew deadpans.
Neil glares at him.
“So? Is he?” Kevin asks again.
Neil swallows, wondering how the hell he’s supposed to answer this without sounding like an ass. In the end, he just shrugs. “Yeah, I guess.”
Aaron rolls his eyes. “Great, so because this is Josten, we know the guy is somewhere between meh and drop-dead gorgeous.”
“Don’t care,” Andrew pipes up. “Not dating him.”
“Fine,” Neil sighs, reaching towards his discarded bookbag to the side. “Guess I’ll have to give someone else this giant heath candy bar he told me to give you-”
Andrew whips back around, leaning towards Neil and holding his hand out. “Gimme.”
Neil smirks as he drops the candy bar into Andrew’s waiting hand.
“Seriously, Andrew?” Kevin gives him an unimpressed look. “Besides the horrible amount of sugar in that thing, are you actually considering this guy just because he gave you a gift?”
Andrew looks him dead in the eye as he takes a giant bite of the candy bar. “Maybe.”
“Ugh,” Kevin says, twisting his lip.
“Gold digger,” Aaron taunts, earning himself a middle finger from Andrew.
“Boys!” Andrew and Aaron’s foster mom, Bee, calls down to them. “Are your friends staying for dinner?”
“Yeah!” Kevin and Aaron both holler up.
Andrew tilts his head at Neil. “Stay?”
Against his will, a small smile pulls across Neil’s face as he stares at Andrew. “Okay.”
Andrew nods, and Neil draws closer, leaning his back slowly against Andrew’s legs as Aaron queues up another round. He sucks in a breath when he feels Andrew’s fingers slowly spear through the curls on top of his head, drawing small concentric circles into his scalp with his fingernails.
He closes his eyes for just a second, leaning into the touch and wishing that, just maybe, he could have this forever.
Cuz’ I’ve got this friend who’s crazy about you
I’ve got this friend who can’t be without you
I’ve got this friend and I wish I could see
How this would end if you knew it was me?
“Oof,” Allison grimaces as she stares at the two boys making out on the other side of the cafeteria. “Must suck watching your old boyfriend suck face with the hottest guy in school, eh, Minyard?”
Andrew simply grunts and flips her off.
“To be fair, Andrew did say that he broke up with Roland – not the other way around,” Renee pipes up.
Several looks are exchanged around the table.
“Uh-huh,” says Allison.
“Sure,” snorts Seth.
“Oh yeah, definitely,” Matt nods, a little too straight-faced.
Neil frowns before turning towards Andrew. “I believe you.”
Andrew doesn’t look at him, but his mouth lifts slightly in the corner.
“Surprise, surprise,” Allison rolls her eyes. “Andrew could be standing over a dead body with the bloody knife in his hand, and you’d still believe him if he told you he was innocent, Neil.”
“Because he would be,” Neil says staunchly, crossing his arms. “Andrew wouldn’t do something like that. Not without a good cause.”
Again, Andrew’s lips quirk.
“Ugh, fine, moving on,” Allison says, knowing a lost cause when she hears one. “So, who’s the new guy hitting on him, Neil?”
Neil chokes on his chicken salad.
Andrew frowns and pats him hard on the back.
“What?” Neil manages to cough out before taking a huge sip of water. “Why are you asking me?”
“Because you’re the one he talked to, duh,” Allison stares at him like he’s an idiot.
“Oh, right.” He squirms a bit then shrugs. “Um, he asked me not to tell anyone except Andrew. He’s – uh – kinda shy, you know?”
“Ooh, strike one,” Dan shakes her head. “Andrew has no patience for timidness. He’ll walk all over him in two seconds flat.”
Andrew gives her a quick two-fingered salute in response.
“Maybe there are other things the two of them have in common, though,” Jeremy pipes up. “What else do you know about him, Neil?”
Neil pulls at the collar of his shirt, suddenly feeling hot and flustered as he shrugs again. “Uh, well, he’s in my stats class, and he’s, you know, good at it, so he’s…smart, I guess? And um, he’s around my height and likes sports, so-”
“Yikes, strike two,” Matt jumps in this time. “A jock? No go, my dude. Andrew absolutely detests all things sports.”
“How the hell can you say that? He’s literally an athlete himself,” Kevin argues. “He even made the county all-star team last year, remember?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Aaron rolls his eyes. “Andrew could give a shit about Exy. He didn’t even bother going to the banquet they held in his honor.”
“When was that again?” Renee asks.
Aaron shrugs. “I don’t know – March something? It’s always held in the spring.”
“Hmm,” Renee says, casting a quick look at Andrew then Neil before returning her eyes to her lunchbox.
Neil, for his part, stares at his own tray, remembering very well what date that particular banquet fell on. His cheeks are tinged with a pale pink color as he recalls how Andrew had shrugged and said it didn’t matter - that he’d rather spend time with Neil any day than go to some stupid dinner. How when Neil had protested, he’d said that there was no way he’d choose some strangers over Neil on his birthday.
His stomach still flutters a little whenever he remembers the serious look in Andrew’s eye and the blunt tone of his voice as he told him. He thinks it might be the first time he’d ever wanted to fling his arms around the man and squeeze him tight.
“Hmm, so he’s short, smart, and shy,” Allison recaps, “which definitely means he’s a nerd-”
“That’s what I said,” Aaron grins, and the two of them high-five.
“But he at the very least has an interest in sports, if not an athlete himself,” Dan counters. “So, there’s potential. What else do you know about him, Neil?”
Neil blinks at them. “You want more?”
“Of course, we want more, Neil!” Nicky tells him. “What’s this guy like? His favorite food, favorite color, what movies or music he likes, what he’s interested in. No one is two-dimensional, silly – and the more we know about this guy, the more Andrew might be able to tell if he’d like him!”
“Um, but…isn’t that the whole point of them dating?” Neil says hesitantly. “That they’d find out more about each other? And then it’s only for the two of them to know? Not…all of us?”
“Oh god, tell me this guy isn’t a sap,” Seth sneers. “If so, then that’s strike three. Minyard doesn’t do romance.”
“Good point,” Allison tilts her head. “Do we know if this guy is just down to bang? Maybe Minyard could have a hot date for the night.”
“Oh, a rebound!” Seth snaps his fingers and points at her. “Yes! So Andrew can get over his broken heart after Roland dumped him.”
Andrew flips Seth off.
“Yes, exactly!” Nicky cries. “That’s what I’m saying! Andrew, you should definitely go out with this guy and see if he’s hot. Then boom – have a little fling, show him a nice time – you know, get your groove on. Then you can dump him and keep moving.”
“Really?” Aaron grimaces.
Andrew merely lifts an eyebrow at his cousin.
“What?” Neil sputters out, his eyes widening. “But that’s-”
“Ah, come on, bud,” Matt shrugs. “I know you feel bad for this guy, but it doesn’t really sound like Andrew and he are compatible. And you do want the right guy for your best friend, right?”
Neil gives Andrew a sidelong glance before his eyes drop to the table. “Well, yeah, of course, but-”
“Then you might want to let this guy down easy,” Matt pats him on the back. “Give him a heads up that Andrew just…isn’t his style.”
Neil doesn’t even realize that he’s bitten through his bottom lip until the coppery tang of blood hits his tongue.
Andrew furrows his brow, reaching up to tug Neil’s lip away from his teeth with his thumb. Then he reaches into his pocket and puts the tube of lip balm that he always carries for Neil in the middle of his hand.
Neil stares down at it, watching the tube blur for a few seconds before he pulls himself together. “Yeah, okay,” he says, though he doesn’t meet Matt’s eye again. He’s not even sure anyone’s heard him, in fact, but he watches Andrew shift closer until his thigh touches Neil’s.
Neil gives him a small half-smile before he takes a deep breath and pushes everything down inside. He does want what’s best for Andrew, after all. Even if that means…even if it’s not…
He stands up and dumps the rest of his tray in the trash before heading out the cafeteria door. Maybe if he’s lucky, Wymack, their gym coach, will let him use the track for the rest of lunch period.
Something I have to tell you
He plays the bass guitar
He thinks you'd like him better
If he had a car and he's right in front of you.
Neil’s sitting up on the roof of the house he lives in with his Uncle Stuart, staring up at the stars as he thinks. It’s often where he goes when he wants to be alone, sitting outside his bedroom window and enjoying the quiet of the night to ponder things.
And right now, the thing on his mind is, unsurprisingly, Andrew.
He’s been the thing on Neil’s mind for months now if he’s honest with himself. But tonight, he isn’t thinking about how strong Andrew is or how gentle his touch can be. He doesn’t imagine what it would be like to have Andrew gather him in his arms, hold his hand, or even…maybe…kiss him.
Neil flushes in the dark before scrubbing his hands over his face and forcing himself to focus. No, daydreaming about Andrew isn’t what he came here to think about. Because while Neil knows that Andrew is everything he could ever want in a partner, he’s never really thought about who Andrew might want.
And that thought frightens him.
Because the more he thinks about it, the more he knows his friends are right.
The two of them really are nothing alike. Andrew is much more fashion-conscious, taking hours sometimes to pick the right outfit or make his hair perfect before they go out. Whereas Neil throws on the first clean clothes he sees before he scurries over to Andrew’s house and contently watches him prep.
Andrew is a picky eater – textures, smells, and even sounds can bother him depending on the meal, while Neil will eat anything, having been forced to deal without complaint on the run with his mother. Andrew has to remind him sometimes that he doesn’t have to eat food if he doesn’t like it, though it’ll usually take Neil eating half the meal and making pained faces before he realizes it.
Andrew has a monstrous sweet tooth, while Neil absolutely hates sweets.
Andrew likes novels and movies, and pop culture while they barely hold Neil’s attention.
Andrew likes grunge music and fast cars and baking and drive-in movies and tropical skittles and cats, and Neil is…nothing like that.
Neil likes running, especially through the park or on nature trails. He prefers fruit to any other food and gray clothing because it helps him blend in. He likes math and languages, smoothies, Exy, soft music, and spending time with his friends.
He especially enjoys spending time with Andrew.
He frowns and thrusts his fingers through his hair. Okay, but that doesn’t mean he can’t find ways to connect with the things Andrew likes, right? Like maybe he’ll learn how to play the guitar or something, and Andrew will be so impressed that he’ll-
But he cuts off his own train of thought as he thinks of the disastrous lack of musical talent he possesses. His music teacher had run through every instrument available before handing him the triangle because they found Neil could be on beat at least half the time with it.
(Neil doesn’t mind, though, since it means he gets to hang out in the back with Andrew, who plays the drums).
Okay, so he won’t be dazzling Andrew with his fancy guitar skills any time soon. But maybe he can learn more about cars or something? Oh! Perhaps he can even get his own fancy car, one that Andrew loves, and then-
But again, he cuts himself off because he knows how much Andrew’s car means to him. It was what he used his cut of his abusive mother’s life insurance on, and it gave the vehicle a whole new meaning. Neil could ask Stuart for a car, and his uncle would gladly give it to him, but…it wouldn’t mean the same. He doesn’t want to compete with Andrew’s car – in fact, he’d rather just give him a car he wants. One that would make Andrew happy. And besides, if he has his own car, what excuse would he have to bum a ride with Andrew all the time then?
Neil sighs, dropping his head in his hands.
See, Andrew also has this whole aesthetic about him. Allison calls him a “classy gay” – meaning, as she told Neil with a huff, that Andrew is sophisticated and mature. He likes pretty and soft things surrounding him, like gorgeous men and fitted sweaters and warm scarves.
Andrew’s last couple of…flings certainly seem to prove this as well. Roland is stunning, of course, but so were Oliver, Liam, and Aidan. Andrew even had a crush at one time on Kevin, he remembers, who’s definitely one of the hottest guys in school.
Whereas Neil is…well, just Neil.
His friends always like to comment on his hair and eyes, but Neil hates them. They remind him too much of his father, and he hates how coarse and rough his hair feels in comparison to Andrew’s silky strands. He’s also ridiculously scrawny and clumsy sometimes, unlike Andrew’s well-developed muscles and solid grace.
In fact, Neil sometimes feels…immature and naïve around Andrew. There are even moments where he wonders why Andrew puts up with him because he’s so cool and smart and funny and handsome, and Neil’s just…not.
“Ugh,” Neil says out loud, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them.
This really is hopeless, isn’t it?
“That better not be directed at me,” comes a voice from behind him. “Or else I’m pushing you off that roof.”
Neil whips around to find Andrew staring blankly at him in his bedroom window.
“Andrew!” he says. “What are you doing here?”
Andrew gives him a glare. “Told you I was coming over earlier today. Texted you a half-hour ago too. Rang your doorbell, and your uncle let me in downstairs – really, there’s not a lot of other options to give you a heads up short of tattooing it on your forehead.”
“Sorry,” Neil flushes. He can be so oblivious sometimes that he doesn’t even –
Andrew flicks him in the forehead. “Did I ask for an apology?”
“No?”
“Then stuff it,” he says shortly as he pulls himself through the window and onto the roof next to Neil.
His body looks relaxed, but he keeps his hands close to the windowsill, ready to pull himself back if he starts sliding at any time. Neil knows the worst he’d probably get would be a broken wrist or ankle if he went over, but he also knows Andrew is afraid of heights. He’s afraid of heights, yet he always comes over and sits with Neil in his favorite spot on the roof anyway, so Neil happily keeps his mouth shut.
“What was up with you today?” Andrew asks him, blunt as ever.
“What do you mean?”
“In the cafeteria,” he points out. “You were being weird. And then you just left. Why?”
“Not weird,” Neil mumbles, shrugging. “Just…wasn’t hungry.”
Andrew is silent for a moment. Then he asks, “Bad day?”
There’s a little tug at Neil’s heart as he realizes what Andrew’s really asking. They both had what they called “bad days” sometimes when their respective ghosts came back to haunt them. Neil’s consists of crankiness and a lack of appetite and running himself ragged, whereas Andrew becomes withdrawn and silent and touch-averse. For the most part, they try to give each other a heads up when a bad day occurs so the other can help where they can.
Unwilling to lie to Andrew, Neil shakes his head. “Not really. Not like our bad days.”
“Hmm,” Andrew says. “So, like a normal bad day?”
“Yeah.”
“Still having trouble with your American History class? We could study if you want?”
Neil shakes his head. “No, I’m fine.”
“You are not fine,” Andrew tells him sternly, and the obvious care in that statement makes Neil’s chest tighten painfully in response.
“Can we just drop it?” he whispers a little harshly into the space between them.
Andrew immediately goes silent.
Neil begins picking at his nails, anxiety wracking his nerves until Andrew asks quietly, “Do you really think I should go on a date with this guy?”
Neil swallows. “Only if…if you want to.”
“I don’t want anything.”
“Well, yeah, I know, but-”
“But you think I should.”
“I think…” Neil whispers and licks his lips. “…I think you’ll never really know unless you give him a chance.”
“Would you?”
Neil hesitates. “I…I don’t really see people that way. So, I…I wouldn’t want to give anyone hope if there’s not…well unless I was really serious about them.”
“But what if they aren’t serious back?”
Neil shrugs and stares down at his shoes. “I guess that’s the risk I have to take,” he says quietly. “That if there is someone who I actually…could actually see myself with…that they wouldn’t necessarily like me the same way back.”
Andrew mulls over this for a few moments then asks, almost shyly, “And what if they were? Serious, I mean?”
Neil looks over and gives him a soft smile. “Then that would be the best, wouldn’t it? I mean, it sounds like a pipedream, honestly-”
“You’re a pipedream,” Andrew grumbles.
Neil chuckles before continuing. “-but I’m willing to take that chance. Maybe someday,” he hesitates, pulling his sleeves down over his arms, “maybe someday someone would be willing to look past all my scars. Someone who wouldn’t care about my past or who my family was or what happened to me. I mean,” he swallows, “I know I’m not much, but…maybe someday…I’d be enough for someone.”
His voice breaks on the last few words, and he doesn’t even realize he’s shed a tear until Andrew’s gently wiping it away from his cheek with his thumb.
“I think it’s possible,” Andrew whispers.
“Just improbable, right?” Neil gives a watery laugh, wiping roughly at his eyes as he tries desperately to get himself to buck up and stop crying. Jesus, how stupid can he be to cry over something dumb like this? Andrew must think he’s an idiot. “Like Kevin eating ice cream, or Jean speaking English, or Allison leaving the house without her makeup on. Or even you falling in love with someone. It’s just something that will never happen.”
Andrew stills. Then he turns away from Neil, leaning back and saying sharply, “Right.”
Neil wavers, tensing upon Andrew’s tight tone and wondering what he said wrong. After all, Andrew’s told him several times that he’ll never fall in love. It’s why Neil’s never gotten his hopes up before.
But something lately seems to be pushing him.
Maybe it’s because every time Neil looks at Andrew, he finds Andrew staring back at him. Or maybe it’s the way all those light, innocent touches Andrew gives him send sparks shooting through his body. Or maybe it’s because Andrew will let Neil lay in his bed while he reads his assigned English books out loud to him, or how he’ll bring Neil fruit tarts because it’s one of the only desserts he’ll eat, or how he’ll hold Neil’s hand as they sit alone at the top of the bleachers looking down at an empty field because everything is too much for Neil sometimes.
Or maybe Neil is taking everything out of context, and this is just what best friends do for each other. Maybe this entire thing is hopeless, and he’s ruining everything good between them by trying to make this happen.
But despite all his reservations, he knows what answer he’ll give when Andrew clears his throat and asks one more time, “So…you think I should date this guy? Yes or no?”
He takes a deep breath and whispers back, “Yes.”
After that, Andrew doesn’t say anything in return. In fact, he doesn’t speak again at all, simply nodding his head and going back inside. Presumably leaving Neil’s house and going back to his own, next door.
And Neil hopes and prays with everything he’s got that he didn’t just royally fuck things up.
I've got this friend who can't be without you
I've got this friend and I wish I could see
See what you'd say if I told you it was me
“Neil, oh my god!” Nicky screeches to a halt in front of the couch. “How did you convince him to do it?”
Neil furrows his brow. “Convince who to do what?”
“Convince Andrew to go on a date with this guy!” Nicky squeals. “Like, for real, I must have suggested it a thousand times, but he just kept ignoring me or throwing spoons and shit at me!”
“Ooh, I have to admit I’m curious as well,” Jeremy leans over, giving Neil his full attention.
“Oh,” Neil says uncomfortably. “Uh, well, I-”
“Oh boy, here we go again,” Dan shakes her head as she sits down with Matt and Kevin next to her. “Let me guess – you asked, right? Neil and his mysterious superpower of asking things of Andrew.”
“It’s insane,” Matt adds, stuffing pizza in his mouth. “I don’t know how he does it.”
“And Andrew always listens?” Jeremy asks them.
“Every time,” Matt nods. “Without fail.”
“Superpower,” Dan insists.
Neil rolls his eyes at them before he focuses on Kevin. “Uh, Kev,” he starts bewilderedly, “what are you doing?”
Because sitting in front of Kevin is a ginormous sundae that the striker’s tucking into without shame.
“Oh,” Dan winces, patting Kevin’s back consolingly. “Kev failed his first history exam ever. Got the exam pages mixed up and put the wrong answers down on his scantron. Teacher won’t let him redo it, so…Andrew made him a consolation sundae.”
Kevin shoves the spoon more forcefully into his mouth, and Neil notices how his eyes fill up a little.
“Ah, it’s okay, Kev,” he tells him. “It’s just one tiny mistake. You’ll remember next time. And it’s not like you didn’t know your stuff – you’re the smartest kid in our class when it comes to history.”
Kevin pauses. “…you think so?”
“Kev, we know so,” Jeremy pipes in with a smile. “You kick all of our butts in Trivial Pursuit every time. And you destroy the Jeopardy contestants whenever a history question comes up on TV!”
A hint of a smile begins to form in the corner of Kevin’s mouth. “Yeah, that’s true, I guess.”
Neil grins. “Heck, I bet Wymack almost keeled over in shock when you showed it to him.”
Now Kevin really does smile. “Well, he did put it on the fridge. At first, I thought he wanted me to be reminded of my shame, but he looks weirdly…pleased? Whenever he sees it? So…”
“Yeah, because you’ve never failed anything in your life,” Dan grins, ribbing him. “So he’s probably just excited to find out you’re not perfect.”
“Why would he be excited about that?” Kevin frowns.
“Because no one’s perfect,” Renee tells him softly. “Watching you make mistakes and be brave enough to show them to him – it tells him you’re still learning. That you’re not done growing yet. And I bet he’s happy to be part of that process.”
Kevin seems to think about this for a moment before he gets up with the half-eaten sundae. “I think I’m going to have a salad now,” he says out loud, moving back towards the kitchen.
“And there goes the waste of a perfectly good sundae,” Matt moans.
“Nah,” Neil shakes his head. “Andrew will just eat it when he gives it back.”
“Didn’t he already make himself one, though?” Dan asks.
“Won’t matter,” Nicky groans. “Andrew is a bottomless pit when it comes to sweets.”
Neil grins, looking back at the kitchen to see Andrew and Jean burrowed together in one corner. They’re both hunched over their phones, heads leaning close, and Neil feels something sharp run through his chest.
But he’s distracted by the front door of Andrew’s house swinging open as Allison comes sweeping in.
“Today is the worst day ever,” she shrieks before throwing herself onto the couch, flopping her torso on top of Neil and her head in Renee’s lap.
“A bit overdramatic,” Seth adds as he walks into the room behind her and shuts the door. “But not a great day, I’ll grant you.”
Allison lets out another muffled scream into Renee’s skirt.
Seth rolls his eyes before he continues, “Apparently, she woke up this morning to a pipe bursting in her bathroom, meaning all of her makeup and hair stuff was ruined.”
Immediately, Dan and Renee make concerned noises and draw closer to Allison, shushing her and stroking her hair softly.
“Then they discovered it wasn’t just Allison’s bathroom, it was several main pipes in the house. So now she’s had to move out into a hotel room where she’s sleeping right next to her parents while they remodel. For two weeks.”
Both Nicky and Matt hiss in sympathy at this announcement.
“And then to cap it all off,” Seth tells them gleefully, “her corvette died. Something’s wrong with it, so they took it to the shop, which means she’s without wheels now for a while as well.”
“Why does the universe hate me,” Allison whines.
“Well, it could be worse,” Neil muses. “Your car could be totaled, and your parents could refuse to get you a new one. They could declare your house no longer habitable, and you could be too poor to afford a new one, making you homeless on the street. And your parents could hate you with every fiber of their being, or at least hate each other, making it uncomfortable to live with them. Or worse.”
The room goes silent.
Neil looks around at the stares his friends are giving him and wonders if he’s said too much.
Then Allison sits up and glares at him. Neil’s eyes widen.
Because while he heard Seth say that her hair and makeup stuff was ruined, he didn’t really get that would mean Allison wouldn’t be able to put anything on. But now he stares at a fresh-faced Allison, with her hair thrown up in a messy bun and looking four years younger than he’s ever seen her.
“Neil, you ass!” she tells him furiously, kicking him lightly in the ribs before tackling him, rubbing a noogie into his hair. “You’re supposed to feel sorry for me! Not trump my bad day with reminders of your own past trauma!”
“Is that what I did?” Neil says sheepishly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“Ugh, but you’re right,” Allison sighs, crossing her arms and sitting between Renee and Neil. “It could be much, much worse.”
She looks around the room with an angry glare, practically daring anyone to bring up the fact that she doesn’t have makeup on. However, it seems everyone has a healthy sense of self-preservation because the room remains silent. She sniffs, satisfied, before remarking, “Where the hell is the pizza?”
“Kitchen,” Nicky jerks a thumb in that direction. “Where Andrew and Jean are.”
Immediately, Allison whips her head around to stare at them. “Andrew doesn’t speak French.”
“Yeah, apparently, he just downloaded an app to translate for him,” Aaron speaks up for the first time. He doesn’t bother looking up from his phone to do so, though. “The two of them have been texting for a couple days now.”
Jeremy’s mouth drops open. “Why didn’t I think of that?” he whines, staring over at the two of them wistfully.
Allison’s mouth drops open as she turns back to Neil. “Wait, Neil, is Jean the guy you’ve been talking about?”
“Um-” Neil starts, unsure where to go with this.
“Oh, oh, that would make sense!” Matt says, rising onto his knees from the floor to point at Neil. “Because Neil’s one of the only people he can talk to! And Neil’s best friends with Andrew!”
“Plus, Jean’s quiet and really smart,” Dan adds. “He totally fits Andrew’s whole vibe.”
“Hell yeah, he does,” Allison grins. “Sleek, sophisticated, handsome – but does anyone know if he’s gay?”
“Actually, I’m bisexual,” comes a lightly accented voice from the kitchen.
Everyone’s mouths, including Neil’s, drops open as they stare at Jean.
“But you don’t speak English!” Nicky squeaks.
“I do, in fact,” Jean says. “You just didn’t ask.”
Andrew smirks as he sits on the counter next to him.
Neil stares at them before turning away suddenly.
Right, so – Andrew obviously knew Jean spoke English way before the rest of them did. So it makes Neil wonder precisely how long they’ve been talking. He wonders if Jean was why Andrew was blushing in the gym the other day. If Jean’s maybe the reason why Andrew’s been fighting so hard against going out with this ‘guy’ Neil suggested.
And how the hell is Neil supposed to compare to someone as talented and worldly as Jean anyway?
He doesn’t, that’s how.
As everyone begins launching questions at Jean left and right, Neil excuses himself to go to the bathroom. He stays in there for a moment, splashing water on his face and taking deep, calming breaths in the mirror.
Then he unlocks the door and nearly walks right into Jeremy.
“Oh,” Jeremy says, trying to smile at him and failing miserably. “My bad. You all set?”
Neil looks at the way Jeremy avoids his gaze, trying desperately to hide the embarrassment and dejection visible in his eyes, and thinks that, for once, he might know exactly how he feels.
“Yeah,” Neil says forlornly.
Jeremy’s eyes dart back to him and, after searching his face for a moment, his own crumples. “Yeah,” he echoes painfully.
Then the two of them switch places, Jeremy slowly closing the door behind him and Neil taking one last deep breath before going back out into the living room.
“Everything okay, Neil?” Nicky asks him cheerfully when he comes back.
“Yep,” Neil says evenly, staring at the TV. “I’m fine.”
I've been that friend
I've been that friend
I've been that friend and I wish I could see
How this would end if you knew it was me?
Neil nearly jumps when Andrew slams into the lockers right next to him.
“So,” he starts, “are you ever going to tell me who this guy is? Give me a name? A phone number? Something before I go on this supposed date with him?”
“Why bother?” Neil jerks his shoulder. “Not sure it matters since you have Jean.”
This causes Andrew to still. He blinks a few times before glaring back at Neil and asking carefully, “And what do you care if I do?”
“I don’t.”
“Then don’t get pissy.”
“I’m not.”
“Could have fooled me.”
Neil slams his locker closed and aims a cold stare at Andrew. “He said to meet him at Sweetie’s diner on Friday at seven. That he’d treat you to dinner – if you bother showing up, that is.”
“Maybe I won’t,” Andrew snarls.
“Fine. See if I care,” Neil snaps back.
“No need – you never do,” Andrew says coldly, then walks away from Neil without another word, shoulders hunched and bodily shoving his way through the crowd of students.
Neil stands there, somewhat shocked by the abrupt dismissal. Andrew’s words echo in his ear and twist horribly in the bottom of his stomach.
Of course, he cares – the problem is, he cares too much.
He looks across the way and sees Nicky, Dan, and Matt staring at him.
“Did that just happen?” Matt asks dazedly.
“Holy shit, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them fight,” Nicky admits, astonished.
Dan ignores them, crossing the hall and gently touching Neil’s shoulder. “Neil, are you okay?”
But Neil can’t speak right now, so he just shakes his head and turns away from them. He walks first, then runs, then sprints his way down the hallway and out the front door.
And he doesn’t look back.
Talking to you nearly every day
I really like all the games that you play
I wanna tell you to see what you say
Before I jump in and I ask for that date
Neil lifts his racquet up and hurls the ball towards the goal, grunting as he does so. Sweat drips down the back of his neck, his arms aching as he takes what must be his thousandth shot today. But the ball just pitifully enters the goal with zero resistance, seeing as he’s facing an empty net.
He stops and stares at it, breathing hard.
The gym is empty, seeing as no one wanted to practice on a Friday after school. Even Kevin shockingly had somewhere to be. So, Neil stands here alone, wallowing in his own self-pity as he tries to run himself into the ground.
Tonight is his supposed date with Andrew. A date that Andrew doesn’t even know is him and probably will skip just to spite Neil. Which doesn’t matter anyway because he’s probably going out with Jean which means Neil was rejected before he even had the chance to ask.
His racquet slips from his hands and drops to the floor with a loud clang. Groaning, Neil bends down to grab it, but his knees buckle beneath him, and he ends up tumbling to the floor in a disgusting heap.
He decides to admit defeat, accepting his fate as he rolls onto his back and looks up at the ceiling. He sighs again, staring at the rafters and wondering what Andrew and Jean are doing right now. If Andrew’s having a good time with him. If Jean is treating Andrew the way he deserves to be treated.
Then he nearly has a heart attack when a white-blonde head with pastel tips leans over him. “Hello, Neil.”
“Renee,” Neil jerks upright into a sitting position. “Um, hi. What are you doing here?”
“Well, after Andrew and I had our yearbook meeting, we went over to the library and helped Mrs. Dobson restock the shelves so that she wouldn’t have to come into a mess on Monday,” Renee smiles at him. “Once we finished that, though, we split ways. I was heading back to my locker when I heard a noise coming from the gym, and I got curious. So, I came in to investigate and found you.”
Neil blinks at her.
Oh. Right. Andrew was on the yearbook committee. A committee that sometimes meets on Fridays when their regular Wednesday night status gets missed.
It’s something he would’ve normally known about if Andrew and he were still talking.
“Oh,” Neil says out loud for her benefit. “I was just…”
He gestures lamely to the racquet and the bucket of balls laid out along with the empty goal.
“Practicing? Very diligent of you,” Renee praises him as if it’s not weird and pathetic that he’s practicing Exy in a gym all by himself on a Friday evening. She cocks her head and stares at him. “But don’t you think it’s about time you get going?”
“Where?” Neil says glumly.
“To your date at Sweetie’s.”
Neil’s eyes shoot up to meet hers. Cautiously, he says, “Andrew has a date at Sweetie’s.”
“Right,” Renee nods at him. “I heard it from Allison, who found out from Kevin, who was informed by Aaron, who heard it from Nicky that you told Andrew his mysterious date would be waiting for him at Sweetie’s at seven.” She looks up at the clock on the wall. “And it’s six o’clock now.”
Neil shrugs. “So? He has an hour until he stands up the guy at Sweetie’s. What do I care about it?”
“Because if you don’t show up at Sweetie’s, the guy who could be stood up instead is Andrew.”
Again, Neil glances over at Renee. “You don’t know that.”
Renee nods. “You’re right. I don’t. Andrew hasn’t confirmed with me either way if he’s going. But don’t you think it’s worth finding out?”
“Even if Andrew did come,” Neil says slowly, “it doesn’t mean he wants the same thing as...this guy does.”
“True,” Renee allows. “But what if he does?”
Neil stays silent.
“The only way you’ll know is if you show up,” Renee tells him. “But the choice is up to you.”
Neil stares down silently at his tennis shoes for another moment. Then he swallows and asks quietly, “Will you help me clean this place up?”
“Happy to,” Renee smiles at him before they both start grabbing balls and putting them back in the bucket.
Cuz' I've been that friend who's crazy about you
I've been that friend who can't live without you
I've been that friend who wants to be with you
I've been that friend who wants to be near you
Even with cleaning up the gym, showering, and running all the way here, Neil still manages to arrive fifteen minutes early. The waitress who seats him winks at him, seeing as Andrew and Neil are regulars there. She places another menu down on the other side of his table without asking Neil, and for some reason, it’s this small gesture that has his stomach tying itself in knots.
Sweetie’s is an old-school diner but Andrew’s absolute favorite, so Neil doesn’t mind coming here. It’s usually not that crowded, and Friday night proves to be no exception. There are only two other tables full at the moment – a family of four a few booths down, two middle-aged women chatting, and an old man drinking coffee at the counter.
Neil swallows. It’ll be pretty obvious when Andrew walks in who’s waiting for him. He only hopes he isn’t too disappointed by the discovery.
So, Neil orders his usual strawberry milkshake and wistfully pretends it’s a smoothie instead while he colors in the back of the kid’s menu with the crayons available at the table. This particular one only has two yellows, a green, and a blue, so Neil’s taking some creative license with the picture.
He glances at his watch several times, waiting anxiously for the clock to strike seven.
When the big hand finally reaches the hour, his gaze becomes glued to the doorway. As if he expects Andrew to walk right in.
Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t.
The clock changes to 7:02. Then 7:05. Then 7:11.
Finally, at 7:15pm, Neil swallows hard and realizes that Andrew isn’t coming. He tries not to look at the waitress, who’s staring over at him with her brow furrowed. As if even she is confused why Andrew isn’t there.
He starts pulling his wallet out of his pocket, getting ready to pay for his $4.50 milkshake, when the door to the diner slams open, the bell above it pinging loudly.
Neil freezes.
Andrew stands in the doorway, looking freshly showered and supremely pissed. His cheeks are red, his hair is slicked back, and he stares angrily around the diner until he spots Neil.
His eyes widen for a second, then he rolls his eyes and scoffs, stomping his way over and plopping himself down on the seat across from Neil.
“What, so you came to spy on me?” he accuses Neil straight out of the gate. “You really didn’t think I’d show up?”
Neil stares at him, his mouth working like a fish out of water.
Andrew gives him another scathing glare. “So, where is this guy? He didn’t bother coming?”
“Well,” Neil finally manages to say something. “You are late.”
“So what? He gave up and went home already?”
“No,” Neil says in a smaller voice. “He’s still here.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t see anyone other than-”
And suddenly, Andrew stops.
Now he’s the one who whips back around and stares at Neil, his own mouth falling open slightly.
“Um, before you say anything,” Neil tells him, holding up a hand that trembles slightly, “I just wanted to say that you mean everything to me, Andrew. This thing we have between us…it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my entire life. For years, I was more than satisfied with our friendship; I couldn’t even imagine myself wanting or needing anything more. But now…I think…I think I’ve wanted more with you for a long time.
“But I also know I’m not good enough for you,” Neil shakes his head. “You’re so cool and interesting, and I’m just…well, I mean I get it. We’re not really compatible. Um, our friends helped me see that – see how different we are and how someone like you couldn’t possibly...well, anyway. So, I know you’re probably disappointed, and this is probably really awkward and strange for you, and the last thing I want to do is ruin our friendship over it. So, if you don’t really…want me…or, um, that is to say…if you can’t ever see yourself being with me in that way, then you should probably just…tell me right now.”
He takes a deep, shuddering breath before smiling at Andrew. “No matter what you say, I just want you to know I think you’re amazing, Drew. And I want you to be with someone who makes you happy, someone who you want to be with. Even if that someone isn’t me. Because you deserve it. And maybe someday, they can earn the right to deserve you too.”
He finally falls silent, eyes glued to the table where he’s tearing his napkin into pieces as he waits for Andrew’s verdict.
Finally, Andrew clears his throat, and Neil swears he feels his heart stop beating in his chest. “I thought you said you were asexual.”
Neil nods. “I am. Or at least, I still am for everyone else. I think it’s just…you.”
“I’m your pipedream?” Andrew asks quietly.
“Well…yeah,” Neil says sheepishly. “I mean, at least, that’s how I see you. I know you don’t…that you don’t necessarily feel the same way or ever will but…but I had to tell you either way.” Neil smiles shakily at him. “Best friends don’t keep secrets from each other.”
Andrew stares at him for a long time. For so long that Neil actually begins to wonder if he’s broken his best friend when Andrew whispers hoarsely, “I did.”
“You did…what?” Neil asks, furrowing his brow.
“Kept a secret from you,” Andrew licks his lips now. “Because I’ve wanted you for a very, very long time. Much longer than you’ve wanted me.”
Neil sucks in a breath. “You…you have?”
Andrew nods slowly. “You never asked me why I broke up with Roland.”
“It wasn’t my place to ask,” Neil counters quietly.
“I broke up with him because we both realized that I could never be for him what I am for you. You are the most important person in my world, Neil,” Andrew sits closer to the edge of his seat, leaning his body over the table’s edge.
“I am?” Neil whispers, eyes wide. Andrew opens his hands, laying them flat on the tabletop, and Neil places his own in them without question. “But what about Jean?” he asks.
Andrew furrows his brow. “What about Jean?”
“Aren’t the two of you…?”
Andrew’s eyes widen a fraction before he scoffs. “No, Neil. Jean is stupidly in love with Jeremy.”
Neil stares at him.
Andrew snorts. “Idiot got so tongue-tied when he met Jeremy for the first time that Jeremy assumed he couldn’t speak English. So Jean went along with it because he didn’t know how to tell him the truth.”
Neil blinks at him. “What a moron.”
“Exactly.”
“Even after all those times Jeremy confessed? In front of the entire group?”
“He wanted to let Jeremy know he felt the same way but was worried he’d hurt his feelings for pretending all this time.” Andrew rolls his eyes. “I told him it was too late for that. That he should just rip off the band-aid and confess his feelings for him. They’re on a date I helped plan for him right now.”
“Oh,” Neil says as he digests this new piece of information, blushing slightly as Andrew’s thumbs stroke gently over the back of his hands. “Oh,” he says stupidly again because what else is there to say, really?
“Although I’d say this was pretty stupid as well,” Andrew stares at him, drawing Neil’s hands closer to his mouth and brushing a kiss over his knuckles. “A ‘friend’? Really, Neil?”
“I know,” Neil admits, his light blush turning into a full-on flush as he stares at Andrew’s lips. “It was a cowardly move. I just wasn’t sure – I didn’t know how to tell you that it was…me. Whether you – well, really if you’d even be interested.”
“I’m always interested in you,” Andrew whispers softly, drawing Neil slowly towards him.
Neil sucks in a breath. “But…we’re nothing alike. Our friends said-”
“Our friends are idiots,” Andrew dismisses them easily. “And no one said we had to be the same person, Neil. We’re allowed to like different things.”
“But-”
“I like you because you’re different, Neil. I don’t need another clone – one’s more than enough,” he says dryly.
“Oh,” Neil answers, losing his train of thought as he stares at the flecks of gold in Andrew’s hazel eyes. “Well then, I’m always interested in you too,” he breathes.
Now it’s Andrew’s turn to suck in a breath. “Promise?” he asks. “You’re not lying?”
Neil shakes his head. “Not lying, I swear.”
“Then I’m very, very interested in kissing you, Neil Josten,” Andrew tilts his head, his words whispering over Neil’s lips.
“I’m very, very interested in that too, Andrew Minyard,” Neil whispers back.
“Yes or no, Neil?”
“Yes,” Neil breathes and closes his eyes.
When their lips meet for the first time, the world stops for Neil.
Andrew’s lips are warm, soft, and, like the rest of his touches, oh so gentle. He tastes like warm butterscotch and sips at Neil’s mouth slowly, caressing him until Neil can’t help but let out a tiny moan. Andrew pauses at the sound, pulling back for a second, and Neil already misses the loss. Then he surges in again, re-angling his head and deepening the kiss.
His tongue boldly brushes over Neil’s lips, asking for permission, and tentatively, Neil opens to him. When he sweeps inside, Neil shivers in delight. The two explore each other slowly, curiosity and wonder mingling as they dip and play, nibble and bite, and it’s more than Neil could have ever imagined.
In fact, it’s a kiss Neil would be happy to sink into for hours, but before he knows it, Andrew is pulling back for real this time.
Neil whines reluctantly before he opens his eyes and meets Andrew’s smirk. It causes his face to nearly burst into flames, his hands covering his eyes as he remembers exactly where they are and what he and Andrew had just been doing in front of everyone at the restaurant.
He wants to dig a hole and bury himself in it from the shame, but Andrew grabs one of his hands and drags it away from his face. He interlaces their fingers and gives Neil a small smile – one of his rare ones.
It makes Neil light up from the inside.
They’re so lost in each other’s gazes that both of them jump when their waitress squeals right next to their table. “Oh my gosh, you two are just the cutest! We’ve been waiting for months for that to happen! Don’t worry about your dinner tonight, boys – it’s on me! My friends are gonna owe me sooo much money ‘cause of this!”
Both Andrew’s and Neil’s faces flush this time. Then Andrew angrily grabs the diner menu as Neil pointedly looks out the window while he orders. But he can’t help but smile wide underneath the hand covering his face.
Because despite their embarrassment, neither of them lets go of the other’s hand.
Cuz' I've been that friend and I wish I could see
How this would end if you knew it was me?
“Ugh, Josten, this really is pathetic,” Aaron tells him as he takes the lead, quickly brushing past Neil on the track.
“Shut up!” Neil scowls, his avatar’s vehicle following closely on Aaron’s proverbial heels. “Feel free to lose and go back upstairs with our teammates then.”
“As if,” Aaron snorts. “Eat my dust.”
The four of them – Andrew, Kevin, Aaron, and Neil – are back playing Mario Kart again, and this time, Neil’s actually close. For once, he didn’t spin off or get turned around or fall for any of their stupid traps – he’s right there, neck and neck with the other three and determined to at least place this time.
He leans back against Andrew’s legs, squirming a little to get comfortable, and nearly smiles when Andrew’s legs open wide enough to fit his shoulders perfectly.
He pulls his eyes off the screen for just a second, smiling gratefully up at Andrew, who automatically shoves his head back down without looking at him.
“Aha! See you at the finish line, suckers!” Aaron crows.
Neil focuses in again. It’s a straight shot to the finish line – and Aaron already missed the last speed boost. If he just draws his vehicle slightly over and aims for it, he can maybe-
But Andrew’s fingers dive into his hair, tipping Neil’s head back into his lap once more. This time, though, he stares down at Neil and tilts his head slightly, asking him a silent question.
Neil immediately forgets about the game and nods. Andrew’s lips quirk, and he slowly leans down to give Neil an upside-down kiss.
“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?” Neil hears Aaron snap, yelling at them before the telltale game noise that means Aaron’s vehicle went off the track echoes through the room. “No! No, no – shit!”
“Oh my god,” Kevin echoes, staring at them. Neil hears his vehicle also crash off the track. “Oh fuck!”
Neil smiles dreamily up at Andrew when he pulls away. Andrew lifts an eyebrow at him before his eyes shoot towards the TV screen and back.
Neil frowns and lifts his head – just in time to see his vehicle declared the winner on the screen.
“Holy shit!” he jumps up and stares at it. “I won!”
“What?” Aaron snaps, dragging his eyes away from his brother to see.
“That’s impossible,” Kevin gapes, completely floored.
“No. Just highly improbable,” Andrew smirks, watching Neil from under hooded lids.
Neil stares back at him, his chest suddenly feeling warm and ridiculously full. He drops the game controller carelessly on the floor and walks back over to Andrew, who pulls him down onto his lap.
“No way, we need a redo – Andrew cheated!”
“Did I?” Andrew asks without looking at his brother. He nods to Neil, who slowly lowers himself until his full body weight rests on Andrew’s lap. “Or were you just distracted?”
“Of course, I was distracted, you asshole! You started kissing Neil! Your best friend! Who, for the record, until five minutes ago, I had no idea you were hooking up with!”
“Are we? A hookup?” Neil asks, threading his hands into Andrew’s hair.
“Is that all you want to be?” Andrew asks quietly, lids fluttering closed as Neil scratches lightly over his scalp.
“No,” Neil shakes his head before he begins lowering it.
“Then let’s be something more,” Andrew answers him, making a fist in his shirt and dragging him closer.
“Okay,” Neil whispers before meeting Andrew’s lips once more.
“Oh my god, Andrew! Ew, gross – now the two of you are making out right in front of us? Jesus Christ – come on, Day!”
“But…what about that other guy? You know, the one who told Neil he had a crush on Andrew? The one Andrew went on a date with?”
“…seriously, dude? Do I need to spell it out for you?”
“…oh my god. There was no guy.”
Neil hears Aaron sigh.
“Holy shit, so that means…wow. I just…I can’t believe they’re actually kissing – I mean, I know we’ve been betting on them for months, but it’s one thing to bet on it and another to actually see it, you know? I mean, holy crap, Andrew’s got his tongue down Neil’s-”
“Shut the fuck up, Day! I do NOT want to hear another word about my brother’s tongue being anywhere, got it? Especially if that sentence includes Josten!”
Neil smiles against Andrew’s lips as he hears the two of them stomp upstairs. Then he moans when Andrew’s tongue sweeps through his mouth once more. It’s not their first, second, or even sixth kiss, but it doesn’t matter. Neil’s brain still turns to mush every time.
“Menace,” Andrew chides him.
“You like it,” Neil whispers.
“I hate it.”
“Liar.”
“Now, my friend, on the other hand…” Andrew says slyly, stroking his hands slowly up and down Neil’s back.
“What about your friend?” Neil smirks.
Andrew nips Neil’s chin with his teeth. “He thinks you’re a dork.”
“Hm.”
“With a one-track mind.”
“Uh-huh,” Neil tips his head back so that Andrew can nibble down his throat.
“A dumb Exy junkie-”
“Guilty,” Neil shudders.
“-who’s a runner on top of it.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“But he also thinks you’re ridiculously hot,” Andrew places light kisses on his collarbone, his hands toying with the edge of Neil’s shirt.
“Does he now?”
“And way too smart for your own good – especially when it comes to all those goddamn languages you speak.”
“Wait, so does that mean you were blushing the other day in the gym because I was speaking French?”
Andrew groans as he rises to meet Neil’s lips once more, kissing them between words. “In fact – it seems like – you’re the exception – to his every rule.”
At this, Neil draws back. He stares down at Andrew with wide eyes, his face serious. “Is that true?”
Andrew leans his head back against the couch and stares up at him. “And why wouldn’t it be?”
Neil’s fingers curls into the front of Andrew’s shirt. “Because I don’t want you to force yourself or think you have to be something just because I see you that way,” he mumbles, no longer meeting Andrew’s eyes. “I know you said you’d never fall in-”
But he gets cut off by Andrew’s fingers on his chin, forcing his gaze back up to meet his once more.
“Stupid,” Andrew tells him before leaning forward and rubbing their noses together. “You’re my pipedream too.”
Neil’s breath catches before he smiles wide. He cups both sides of Andrew’s face with his hands then crushes their lips together again in a fierce kiss.
And feels Andrew’s lips smirk when they hear Nicky yell upstairs, “They’re doing WHAT???”