Work Text:
Logan was a logical person. He was (mostly) in charge of his thoughts and emotions. So when Logan started moving without his control, he was very confused. It was a little jerk at first. His head jerked to the side every now and then, but he just put that down to stress or jitters because frankly Logan was quite stressed a lot of time. But that was before it escalated. What started off as a little jerk turned into arms moving sporadically, shoulders shooting up to greet his head, hitting his chest over and over again. But it didn’t stop there oh no he couldn’t be so lucky as to stop it escalating. Not only was his body not behaving properly, neither was his mouth. Logan would find himself saying weird things at completely random times. Some things were things he had heard that day, some were random phrases like “get back in the pond you silly goose”, something Patton liked to say when flustered. There were certain things that were repeated a lot like falsehood and absolutely not. Sometimes it was so bad, he couldn’t leave his room for fear of concern from the others. Often he would end up crying as he wondered what they did to be inflicted with this. After some research Logan realised that he most likely had tourettes which would explain the not being able to stop.
He obviously had to interact with the other sides at some point, and he wanted to look as non crazy as possible, so he tried to suppress them as long as possible. When Logan couldn’t any more, he went to the bathroom for a non suspicious amount of time and sound proofed it to let them out, and returned like nothing had happened. Or if everyone else had left, he made sure he was alone and let them out. But even then, there were times Logan couldn’t repress them, and was stuck in his room in what he would later find out where tic attacks. So that’s where he found himself at the moment. He had been stuck in his room in the midst of the worst tic attacks he had ever experienced for at least 3 hours and hadn’t left his room for at least a day. And let's just say some sides were starting to get worried. Well worried was a slightly relaxed word. They were very concerned.
Roman was pacing up and down the living room, glancing at the stairs every few minutes, unease clear on his face. Virgil was sitting on the couch, listening to music and trying to look as undifferentiated as possible whilst his leg bounced up and down incessantly. Patton. Well Patton had gone back to old reliable. Bake as many things as possible and hope things sorted themselves out whilst maintaining a mostly stressed smile. After about 2 hours of this, Roman sighed in frustration seeing that nothing was really happening.
“Okay that’s it. I’m going to go confront him.” Roman insisted as he stopped his pacing at the bottom of the stairs. Virgil, who had clearly been listening to his music at the lowest volume possible, looked over at him unable to keep the worry out of his voice any longer.
“I think we should talk to him about it, but we shouldn’t confront him. If Logan’s up there because he’s stressed, acting all accusatory about it will probably only make it worse.” Patton at this point had poked his head out of the kitchen to add his two cents to the conversation
“Yeah Virgil’s right. And I’ll come with you kiddos as well. I’m worried about my other kiddo,” Patton also added “ And I have half an hour before my cake is ready anyway” He dusted his hands on his apron and walked out the kitchen to stand with them both at the bottom of the stairs
“ Okay, but I think I should be the one to knock. Logan is really stubborn,” Roman said like they didn’t all already know that “And he knows I will just knock until I get an answer. I’m persistent like that” Roman is pretty sure he heard Virgil mutter under his breath “More like annoying” but he concluded it was only because they were all worried about their resident nerd. Nevertheless he still shot a quick glare at him, only playfully though.
Logan meanwhile, was upstairs unaware of the conversation below him that would, well, start a chain of not very good events
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The three walked upstairs (well walked is a very loose term. Roman stomped and Virgil sprinted as to not turn around at the last minute. Patton was really the only one who walked.) and stood outside their nerd’s (that they were all incredibly fond ofs) door. Only now that they were there did they really realize something was truly wrong. It was silent. Like completely silent. Nothing could be heard at all which was weird for Logan. If he was doing work, he would be listening to very quiet music or if he was particularly stressed and the work was a lot he would be muttering under his breath, like he was vocally working things out. But none of them had ever heard plain silence from the Logical sides room, not even when he was sick or during the… incident. Even then something had been heard. But this terrified all of them. They waited a few minutes in aprehension to see if anything would happen. When nothing did, Roman let out a frustrated sigh. What was significant about Roman was that he never did things quietly. If Logan didn’t hear his stomping up the stairs, he certainly heard this. And hear he did. Although he had sound proofed his room, Logan could still hear whoever was lurking outside his door. And he panicked.
What should he do? He can’t exactly stop what he was doing, stop crying and just open the door all nonchalantly and continue his life like normal. He was stuck in the eye of the storm, and the only thing he could do was wait it out. But he didn’t have time. Logan had to open the door now, or in the next few minutes as to not raise more concern. But he couldn’t. Not only was he still crying, his hand was also occupied currently with hitting his chest over and over again so much it hurt. If he opened the door like this, he would most likely earn the disgust of the others and be outcast as a side forever. They would all hate him and ignore him for the rest of his life. Okay. Maybe that was overreacting just a little, but he was seriously panicking. But before he could spiral any further…
A knock.
On his door.
As clear as day.
Logan just froze. He still hadn’t come to a conclusion. So he decided to try to remain silent and hope they would go away (not that if he made a sound they could hear it anyway) all the while still in the middle of a tic attack. Now this was the wrong decision. The other sides just wanted to hear some movement, or sound at all. So when yet again nothing happened, this only fueled their panic fueled distress even more. Roman was unsure if Logan was even in there and if this was all just some fruitless venture. So being the lovable, well himbo that he is, he decided to start jiggling to doorknob to see if there was anything animate in the room (preferably a Logan) or if it was just as empty as the space between Remus’ ears (okay that one may have been a little mean, but he was desperate and desperate times call for desperate jokes).
This was possibly the worst thing Roman could have done. Logan took one look at his door, more specifically the doorknob that was now moving like crazy and an ice cold fear took hold. They were trying to get in and seemingly desperate now, meaning the others were going to persevere and get into his room no matter what it took. It’s not that they didn’t value his privacy, but they had all learnt from the incident that Logan isolating himself + silence was never a good pairing. He really only had one choice left. He summoned the only person who could realistically help him in this situation.
“Hey J-anus you’ll never guess who’s dick I just...you’re not Janus” said the intrusive side, cutting himself off upon the realisation this was not who he thought it was. Remus was now squinting at the logical side, coming to the realisation something was wrong. Whether it was the sporadic twitching or the stream of tears, he noticed either way. In this time, Logan had managed to stand, albeit swaying quite a deal whilst doing it and spoke.
“Remus I-ooh ooh ooh-need your help” he winced at his tics. If Remus wasn’t privy to what was happening, he clearly knew now. And Remus did. He wasn’t entirely sure what was afflicting Logan, but he knew it affected his vocal and motor skills. The only question now was why did Logan need his help? Before this could be vocalized, the jiggling of the doorknob started up again. He looked at it, looked back at Logan and suddenly realized what was needed of him
“Oooooh you want me to talk to those light side drips whilst your...occupied? I got you specs, though you might want to get out of the view of the door. Oh and maybe try to be quiet if you don’t want them to hear you? If you can’t I’ll try to be extra loud” Logan quickly scampered to his bed and curled up in the corner of it ( well curled up as best as he could whilst his arms were shooting out into the air). Remus made sure he was okay before bounding up to the door and wrenching it open half way.
Roman, who had just been about to knock again, nearly fell forward into this figure, who upon looking up was...oh. It’s just his brother. Wait if he was in Logan’s room, where was Logan? An impatience scowl crossed his face before brushing himself off and moving to stand in front of Patton and Virgil, both who now had a half confused half concerned look on their faces, although Virgil had hissed as soon as he recognized the trash man. “What do you want Remus?” Roman huffed, obviously annoyed and still worried that his brother had been the one to open the door “Where’s Logan? I swear if you’ve harmed a hair on his perfectly gelled head I’ll-”
“Woah woah calm down dearest brother of mine. I haven’t done anything to your precious nerd, he just asked me to...fill in for him whilst he was doing other stuff. No nefarious shit involved, scouts honour!” Remus held his hands up, and did a crude scouts honour salute. Patton just sighed, over with this whole escapade and just desperate to find his kiddo
“Look Remus. I know you’re just trying to bring the mood up, but we reeeally need to find Logan so if you could just-” Patton said, before cutting himself off. He heard something in the room behind the intrusive side in front of him. It sounded almost like…”wow, astounding”? But that was something..Logan would say. Then it clicked in Patton’s brain. Logan didn’t want to answer the door for whatever reason and was now hiding somewhere in his room, observing their conversation. Hearing the logical side immediately made him feel better, but Patton needed to know if he was okay. So barged past the sides before him, ignoring their cries of protest and into Logan’s room.
It was dimly lit in there, like the side in question didn’t want the darkness nor the full light. His eyes scanned the room, seemingly coming up with nothing before something in the corner moved. Well, move is a vague word usually describing something moving on purpose. This movement was more like an impulse, being restrained by everything inside but nonetheless manages to escape. The ‘movement’ in question was Logan beginning to hit his chest repeatedly. A strangled sort of noise escaped Patton’s throat and before he realised it, he was by Logan’s side, grabbing his hand “No, honey don’t hit yourself. You’re okay, we’re here.” this seemed to only distress the side in question further who was still trying to hit himself in the chest. Logan made eye contact with Patton and knew he had to say something, even if he would rather the floor open up and swallow him whole.
“No Patton it’s-fucking slut- oh god I’m really sorry that wasn’t aimed at you. I’m saying I’m-absolutely not, absolutely not-I’m fine” Logan’s head had jerked to the side which made it difficult to maintain eye contact, but he just hoped what he was saying was presented as genuine. Patton had reeled back, surprised by what the logical side was saying, but mostly confused. By this time, the others had stormed in and stood a little further away, also confused as to what was going on. Roman had a hand half outstretched, hesitant as to whether he should move closer and try to help, or not overwhelm Logan and stay away. Virgil had taken to chewing on the pads of his thumbs and Remus’ eyes were darting between the pair.
“Umm..Logan?” Virgil finally hesitated “Do you want to tell us what’s going on, because I for one have no clue” There was a murmur of agreement from everyone else. Logan looked at the rest of his fellow sides (minus Janus who was mysteriously absent for this whole affair) and took a deep breath. It was now or never he supposed.
“I have a blue-Yerkes-Dodson,Yerkes-Dodson,Yerekes-Dodson- sorry, blue journal on my desk. If one of you would mind-haha virgin- sorry, turning to page 34, it should give you-ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh-sorry again, all the answers you require” Logan sighed, it was quite difficult trying to hold a sentient sentence whilst being interrupted by seemingly random words and phrases. Remus, who wasted no time snatching up the journal, quickly turned to page 34, careful not to rip any of the pages on the way and scanned its contents. His eyes lit up in understanding.
“Oh dork. How long has this been going on for” Remus looked at him with sadness in his eyes. How hadn’t he noticed? He then remembered no one else had the foggiest clue what was going on when Roman shouted
“Okay WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!” Remus quickly handed the journal to Roman and Virgil, who then passed it to Patton. The realisation of what had afflicted their dear nerd furrowing all of their brows. They all looked at Logan, who was staring very intently at the floor as he continued to jerk like a ragdoll thrown from a moving car.
Well. This was it. They were all going to throw him out for having tourettes and he would have to flee to the furthest corners of the imagination where he would live the rest of his days in solitude ( okay maybe spending more time with Roman had an adverse effect, but Logan was stressed, he thought he had a right to be a little over dramatic). Before he could despair anymore however, the paternal side in front of him flung himself into a rib crushing hug. This had surprised Logan.
“I’m so sorry Logan. I never wanted to make you feel like you had to hide such a big part of yourself from us, from me for fear of rejection. I’ll always love you, no matter if your body makes you do funky little movements!” This was just part of the slew of apologies Logan was faced with as he sat there as motionless as one can whilst having tourettes and tried to come up with something, literally anything apart from the soft “Oh” that escaped him.
Soon, one pair of arms became two, then three until they were all in an uncomfortable well meant hug in the corner of Logan’s room, none seeming to mind the twitching, speaking figure in the middle. When they all finally separated, Logan hastily wiped some ‘non existence’ tears from his eyes, and coughed, unsure what to do now.
“Logan,” Roman offered quietly from where he was now sitting crossed legged on the floor ”How long has this been going on? How..long have we failed to notice?” a question they all feared the answer to.
“Well, it wasn’t your fault. I did everything in my power to-absolutely not, absolutely not, absolutely not- sorry, to stop you guys from finding out and I suppose it worked,” Logan offered, in a small chuckle. He hadn’t failed to notice that the worst of his tic attack was over, and was glad he could talk somewhat normally now “But if you really must know, I believe the first tics that I’ve now recognized were-fuck you carl- sorry, 9 or 10 months ago? I’m not entirely sure to be honest” This seemed to knock the wind out of everyone else in the room. They all seemed very distraught with this news. How do you fail to notice something like this for the better part of a year? They were all wallowing in self hatred when Roman spoke again.
“Well….that doesn’t matter now. No matter how much we failed you in the past, we’re here now, and we’ll take care of you no matter what!” There was a determined spark in his eye that Logan had to smile at. Everyone else voiced words of agreement.
“Bring it in you guys!” Patton exclaimed, more than a little teary eyed and brought them all in for yet another group hug. And that is how Janus had found them all, a few hours later all asleep. Even Remus, which was a rare occurrence.
“Well, guess they finally found out.” Janus said to no one in particular as he covered the sleeping sides with a blanket and shut the door quietly, a fond smile on his face.
Things were rough before but now they were okay. Because Logan had his famILY. And that’s all that mattered.