Chapter Text
When he saw Yuta walk through the doors of the Gongcha, his hair wet in his face, jacket hanging haphazardly off one shoulder, struggling to close his umbrella, Jaehyun’s heart started to beat faster again. Not that it didn’t always do that when he saw Yuta, but this time it wasn’t because of the butterflies, it was because Yuta looked as tense now as when he had called Jaehyun half an hour ago to tell him that they needed to talk as soon as humanly possible, and the unease Jaehyun had managed to suppress while he waited for Yuta now flared up again at the sight of him. Yuta saw Jaehyun and spread his lips to mimic a smile, still doing battle with the umbrella, which was spraying raindrops across the floor of the Gongcha. Jaehyun stood up as Yuta approached. Yuta said, “No, no, sit down.”
“You’re going to break the umbrella,” said Jaehyun.
Somewhere within the mechanisms of the umbrella, something popped. The umbrella exploded in Yuta’s hands before caving in on itself. Yuta jumped. Jaehyun tried to take the umbrella from him. Yuta saw the milk tea on the table and said, “Why did you already get a drink? You should have waited.”
“What? Sorry. I’ve been here for like twenty—”
“I was going to buy you a drink,” said Yuta.
He tossed the umbrella under the table and crashed into a seat. Jaehyun put a hand on the back of Yuta’s chair. “You don’t have to. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong!” said Yuta, folding his hands on the table. “Nothing’s wrong. Sit down.”
Jaehyun frowned at him. Yuta nodded at the other chair. Jaehyun sat. Yuta studied his thumbs as they crossed and recrossed. “I have to tell you something.”
“Okay, so tell me?”
When Yuta just sat there, Jaehyun said, “Yuta, you’re freaking me out, just say it.”
Yuta swallowed. Then he looked up from his hands and said, “You’re probably wondering why I gathered you here today. As I mentioned on the phone, an emergency situation has arisen that requires immediate attention.”
That sounded more like Yuta. “Yeah, and?”
“I made a bet with Johnny and now I need to get a boyfriend before he does. That’s where you come in.”
Jaehyun’s head went light. Boyfriend. You. Come in.
“I need you to fake date me,” said Yuta, and the lightness in Jaehyun’s head fizzled. “Just two and a half weeks. Until Hyuck’s environment fair. Please. I’ll literally do all the cleaning from now until the end of the spring.”
Jaehyun felt like he’d been gently punched in the chest. “Fake date you?”
“Yeah,” said Yuta. “We won’t have to do anything to make people believe it, we’ve been best friends all our lives, how could we not fall in love?”
“How could we not fall in love,” Jaehyun said.
Yuta’s elastic smile turned warm. “Exactly! Everyone will buy it. This is actually going to be hilarious. We can mess with people so much.”
“Wait, wait. Wait,” said Jaehyun.
“Yeah.”
“Why…?” Jaehyun tried to clear his throat. “Why do we need to do this again?”
Yuta pulled back. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. Of course. It’s totally up to you.”
“No. I want to.”
“Oh! Sweet, thanks.”
“It’ll be funny,” Jaehyun said, “like you said. But Yuta, I’m still missing the backstory. Johnny? A bet with Johnny?”
“Oh yeah!” Yuta pushed rain-matted hair back from his forehead. “Hyuck is working out what stalls he’s going to have at the fair, and he basically told me and Johnny that he needed one of us to work the pie booth and one of us to work the cotton candy machine.”
“Sorry. Back up.”
“The pie booth, as in, getting pied in the face by strangers for at two thousand won per pie,” said Yuta. He was sipping Jaehyun’s milk tea now.
“Back up further,” said Jaehyun.
“The fair, as in, Hyuck’s fundraiser for the environment? Senior project?”
“Oh yeah! Okay. I got it. So you and Johnny have to…?”
“Yeah, one of us has to get pied all day, and one of us gets to make cotton candy all day. So we made a bet that whoever can get a boyfriend first,” Yuta said, digging his phone out of his pocket, “gets to do the cotton candy, and the other one has to get pied. Here. Take this.”
“Weird fucking bet,” said Jaehyun, catching the milk tea that Yuta had shoved back at him half-empty. “You could have just flipped a coin or something.”
“Yeah,” said Yuta, “I don’t know. We figured since we’re both always complaining about not having boyfriends. Plus, like, you know Johnny, everything always has to be high stakes with him. Smile.”
Jaehyun posed for Yuta’s picture. Yuta, complaining about not having a boyfriend? Jaehyun hadn’t ever heard him complain about not having a boyfriend. The camera shuttered. Jaehyun said, “So it’s only until the fair?”
“Yeah,” said Yuta, “then we can tell everyone it was a joke.”
“Johnny will kick your ass if we tell him it was a joke.”
“Then you’ll have to keep dating me forever,” said Yuta, “so I don’t die.” He bent over his phone, stuck his lip out and blew his hair out of his eyes. It fell back over his face. He’d been growing it out. He certainly complained about that constantly, his hair getting long, but every time Jaehyun told him to just cut it, he asked Jaehyun if he really should, and Jaehyun doubled back every time, no, it looks amazing, well, he should cut it if it bothers him that much, but it looks great so no, don’t cut it, good hair always requires some degree of suffering. And Yuta would toss that smile across the space between them, like a coin spangling into a fountain, and he’d sweep back his hair and say “Thanks Jaehyun,” or “Smart Jae,” and Jaehyun’s heart would ache like it was cramping from overuse.
Ah, shit. This was a bad idea.
Jaehyun leaned over the table to say something—he wasn’t sure what yet, something like, “I’ll date you as long as you let me,” or maybe “I take it back, I don’t want to tear my own heart into pieces,” or else just “Wait Yuta, maybe we should talk about this more”—but before he could speak, Yuta held up the phone and chirped, “There! Congratulations, fake BF, our fake relationship is IG official.”
Yuta had posted Jaehyun with his milk tea and captioned it “from best friends to boyfriends” with the boys-holding-hands emoji. The Jaehyun in the picture was eyeing the camera quizzically, half-smile turned a degree or two aside, brow slightly drawn in fondness and bemusement. Jaehyun was never sure whether he loved the pictures Yuta took of him because Yuta took great pictures, or because he liked feeling seen by him.
“You look really good,” said Yuta, pulling back and tapping at his phone, “I’ll send that to you.”
“I always look good in your pictures,” said Jaehyun.
Yuta bobbled his head and said, “Oh, uh huh, Mr. I’m-So-Photogenic, okay.”
“No,” said Jaehyun, “like, your photos always look good. You always…”
“Capture the essence of your soul in the angle of your gaze, right?”
“Right,” said Jaehyun, “it’s because you’re a good photographer.”
“Yeah,” said Yuta, thumbs still going at lightning speed on his phone, “you looking good in my pictures is completely because of my amateur photography skills and not at all related to the fact that you look like a descendent of Greek gods.”
Jaehyun let the pleasure at the compliment roll over him. “Maybe it’s just because you know me so well.”
Yuta stopped typing and fixed Jaehyun in the headlights of his smile. “Yeah. True. What else are best friends for, if not for getting good pictures of each other?”
“Being fake boyfriends, apparently,” Jaehyun said.
“Aha,” said Yuta, snapping his fingers and pointing at him. “Johnny’s questioning the legitimacy of my post, go comment something cute on it.”
“You already sent it to him?” Jaehyun said.
“Yeah, I had to make sure I had proof of getting a boyfriend before he did. Now he’s all like that was too fast you’re making it up.”
“But you are making it up,” said Jaehyun.
Yuta put his phone down. “Sir, with that attitude, we might as well break up right now.”
“Okay,” said Jaehyun quickly, “okay, we don’t have to break up, I’ll comment something,” and he opened his phone to an Instagram notification. nakamotoputa tagged you a post.
“You’re an angel for this,” said Yuta while Jaehyun looked through the picture’s 8 likes, the “?????” comment from markciity, the “OH MY GOD” from t_yongie. “You’re a god, Jaehyun, seriously. I’ll clean and do groceries and cook all spring. I’ll do whatever you want. Just say the word.”
“Whatever I want?” said Jaehyun, trying to keep his laughter light. “I don’t think you realize how dangerous a promise that is.”
“I know exactly how dangerous a promise that is,” said Yuta, “because I know you and I know you’ll start to get uncomfortable after watching me do all the work around the house for a week and you’ll go back to doing your share.”
Jaehyun recrossed his legs under the table. Yuta wasn’t wrong. “Damn. Taking advantage of my kindness.”
“Why else do you think I asked you to do this?” Yuta said cheerfully.
Jaehyun refreshed the post. Twenty-five likes and three more comments. “Congratulations!!!” “NO WAY I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR 33 YEARS????” “DESERRVEEEE”
“Yuta, people are loving this,” he said.
“They’ll love it even more when you comment.”
“What should I comment?”
“Anything, Jaehyun, it literally doesn’t matter.”
Yuta took Jaehyun’s milk tea back. Jaehyun typed a comment. His thumb hovered and then he hit send.
Yuta picked up his phone and read the comment aloud. “I love you.”
Jaehyun made a noise that he hoped sounded affirming.
“Not your most creative stroke,” said Yuta, tossing the phone back onto the table.
Jaehyun leaned his head into his hand. “Isn’t having a fake boyfriend for two weeks a lot of work just to get out of one night of pieing?”
“Nah.” Yuta noisily sucked up the remainder of the milk tea. “If it were somebody else, maybe. But with you? This’ll be a piece of cake.”
Jaehyun expelled a puff of air, less in laughter than in disbelief at the situation he’d suddenly found himself in. Yuta stood up and said, “Now I’ll buy you a drink for real. Do you want the same thing or something else? You’ve been wanting to try the brown sugar one, right?”
“Uh, sure.” Jaehyun followed Yuta, who was already halfway to the front, and put a hand on his shoulder. “Yuta.”
“What?”
“Your sister just texted me,” said Jaehyun, holding out his phone.
Yuta’s eyebrows shot up and the satisfied grin dropped off his face. He took out his own phone. “She texted me too,” he said. “Oh god. She’s in the chat with my parents.”
“If she tells your parents, they’ll tell my parents!”
“I,” said Yuta, “didn’t think this through.”
Jaehyun bit both lips between his teeth and widened his eyes at him. Yuta tried to keep his lips turned down, but he was laughing. Jaehyun glared at him. Yuta said, “What have we done…”
“Piece of cake, my ass,” hissed Jaehyun, and then the kid at the counter said, “Can I help you?” and Yuta turned away from Jaehyun to ask, “What’s your biggest size, large or extra large?”
While Yuta ordered, Jaehyun stood behind him and reread his sister’s text. “Jaehyun!!! I saw Yuta’s post and I want to say congratulations, you two belong together <3 Miss you!”
“Jaehyun?” Yuta said after he finished ordering.
“What?”
“You, like, look like your brain is somewhere else.”
“Your sister said we belong together.”
“Ah,” said Yuta, lifting his phone up again, a stitch in his smile. “She did say that.”
“Maybe they’re right,” Jaehyun said.
Yuta’s typing fingers paused. “Hm?”
Jaehyun stared at him.
Yuta said, “They?”
“Everybody,” coughed Jaehyun, “uh…”
“True, yeah,” said Yuta, “there’s like, celebration across the gram right now.”
They looked at each other for a while and then Jaehyun said, “Weird, right?” and Yuta laughed. “Weird.”
Jaehyun nodded and took a few steps closer to the pickup counter. Yuta had been right—Jaehyun’s brain was somewhere else. Jaehyun’s brain was nonexistent. Why did he run his mouth like that? He’d never be able to pull this off, not if he started saying whatever dumb shit went through his head.
Behind him Yuta said, “But what did you mean, maybe they’re r—”
“I don’t know,” said Jaehyun, “I was just talking. Oh, Mark just texted me. Look at this. He’s freaking out.”
“Freaking out?” said Yuta, coming close to Jaehyun’s shoulder so Jaehyun could smell his cologne, and Jaehyun took a deep breath.
These were going to be a long two weeks.
Jaehyun’s mom called him while they were still at the Gongcha. Jaehyun showed Yuta the phone across the table. Yuta took one look at the incoming call and made a don’t gesture with his hand. Jaehyun made a what do you want me to do? motion and Yuta repeated the no gesture, then hit him. Jaehyun was already picking up. “Hey, Mom?”
“Jaehyunnie?”
“Hi.”
Yuta nodded at the door, took Jaehyun’s wrist, and dragged Jaehyun out of the Gongcha. Jaehyun’s mom was talking about how Yuta’s mom had just called her. “And guess what she said Momoka said Yuta said on Instagram?”
“That’s a lot of…”
“That you and Yuta are going out now?”
“Oh, yeah.”
Yuta was making the call it off motion across his throat again. Jaehyun made a face at him and said, “It’s just, like, something we’re…”
“That’s great, Jaehyun, that’s really wonderful. I texted your dad, he’s thrilled he won’t have to worry about whether we can trust the boys you date anymore. And I thought that was the funniest thing, because he’s right! We couldn’t have picked a better match for you if you’d let us, in fact, if you did let us find a boyfriend for you we probably would have talked to the Nakamotos first. I’m just joking, baby, of course you have to pick your own people to date, I know, but after that boy with the tattoos last year, I mean, it’s not like I wasn’t tempted to do a little matchmaking…”
Jaehyun held the phone away from his ear because his mom’s voice was getting faster and louder. Yuta was stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, doubled over with silent laughter. Jaehyun was starting to feel terrible. “Mom, hang on,” he said.
“Sure, baby, but just one more thing, I’m so proud of you for being who you are, and doing what you…do, and I love that you’re doing that with Yuta, that’s just—you know what I mean, I’m just so happy for you. Now what were you going to say, honey?”
“Mom, Mom, it’s not what you think. I—listen, Yuta and I aren’t actually d—”
Yuta lunged for Jaehyun’s phone. Jaehyun yelled, finding himself pinned to the side of the building. “You can’t tell her,” Yuta whispered.
Jaehyun whispered back, “You heard how happy she is! You want me to lie to my mom just so you can get out of a night of getting pied?”
“You wouldn’t have had to lie if you hadn’t picked up!” said Yuta, and Jaehyun, sweating, tried to wrestle away from him without dropping his phone or the milk tea, but Yuta grabbed Jaehyun’s wrist in one hand and seized the phone with the other, then spun away. “Hiiii, Mama Jeong! Yeah, it’s me!”
Jaehyun heard his mom cooing on the other end and swiped for the phone, but his strength was severely depleted after being pinned between Yuta and the wall for ten seconds, and Yuta sidestepped him. “I know, I miss you guys too! How is Papa Jeong? I was just thinking the other day about the galbijjim you made at Chuseok last year, I’ve been craving it like crazy. Oh, no, no, you don’t have to. Really? God, thank you so much, it’s… Of course, just drop it off at the apartment anytime. Okay. I know I always say this, but you’re truly an angel. No, really.”
Jaehyun closed his eyes and rested his forehead on the back of his hand against the wall.
“Oh, she did tell you?” Yuta laughed brightly. “Yeah. Momoka’s so fast with this kind of stuff, I think she knew before I knew. Oh, thank you. That’s so sweet, Mrs. Jeong. Well, he’s your son, you know what a catch he is… You’re really too sweet. Thank you so much. Say hi to Papa Jeong for me. Okay, yeah, I’ll give you back to Jaehyun. Bye, Mama Jeong. I know. Bye.”
Jaehyun, unable to muster more than a head shake and a glare, took back the phone. “Mom.”
“He’s so darling, Jaehyun, you really lucked out, I mean, he lucked out with you, of course, you’re the most precious boy in the world, but Yuta really comes close.”
“Mom, just so you know, it’s nothing serious. We’re just trying it out. And seeing how it goes.”
“That’s fine, baby, that’s what your twenties are for. Seeing where love takes you.”
Jaehyun made a pained noise while his mom went on, “And I’ll just say, and this’ll be the last thing I’ll say about it, I always thought you’d make a perfect pair, after you told us you liked boys and everything, I thought, if Jaehyun could just get Yuta to go out with him, that would be perfect. Because you two just get along so well, and you’re so close, and to be honest I did wonder for a while if you had deeper feelings for him than just…”
Jaehyun said, “Yeah, Mom, I’m really sorry, I have to go now, but I can talk later if you want.”
“Okay, sweetie, no problem, sure. Give Yuta a big hug for me and I’ll talk to you soon. And text Dad.”
“Sure.”
“I love you, honey. Text your dad.”
“Yep. Love you, Mom.”
“Bye, honey, love you.”
Jaehyun hung up. Yuta, who was sitting on the edge of the platform in front of the apartment building, said, “You know, that really cut me deep when you said it’s nothing serious. Is this thing just friends with benefits to you?”
“Yes,” said Jaehyun, going inside, “the benefits are that you get a fake boyfriend and I get a butler for the rest of the spring.”
“Oh, that reminds me,” said Yuta, running ahead and cutting him off so he could press the elevator button. Jaehyun frowned at him. “My butler duties,” said Yuta. “They’re starting now.”
The elevator opened and Yuta ushered him inside. Jaehyun raised a hand to hit the floor 6 button. Yuta batted his arm aside. “No, no. Just relax. You don’t have to lift a finger for the next two weeks.”
Jaehyun said, “I don’t like this.”
“Let me hold that for you, king,” said Yuta, taking the milk tea from him. Jaehyun gave him a flat look. Yuta sipped it, smiled, and said, “Just say the word and I will hold the straw to your lips. Only the best service for His Highness.”
Jaehyun wanted to smack the milk tea out of Yuta’s hand and kiss him. “Nope. Stop.”
“Okay.”
Jaehyun had never really wanted to tell Yuta how he felt about him. He’d wanted to do other things, sure—kiss him, be with him, never let him go. But to say to him, I have feelings for you—nope. He didn’t need to go there. He shouldn’t. Not when this connection they shared was already so miraculous the way it was. This bond, this balance. It had been there since they were kids and still visiting each other regularly. Their mothers had been friends in college, and their families would vacation together every summer. Korea, Japan, Thailand once. In all those summer memories, Yuta was always the focal point. Yuta’s hands digging next to Jaehyun’s in the sand where Yuta’s sister had said turtle eggs were buried. Yuta running down the stairs in front of Jaehyun while somebody yelled at them not to run. Yuta’s scraped knee bleeding while he cried and Jaehyun scrambled back onto his bicycle to get help, pain twinging in his chest as if he himself were the one who had fallen. Yuta’s face bursting out of the water. Yuta’s eyes in the glow of the sparklers. Yuta was the center of his world. He was Jaehyun’s best friend.
Even when their families stopped visiting, that didn’t go away. It didn’t go away even when they went years without speaking. Summer wasn’t synonymous with Yuta anymore, but they still belonged to each other, in a way, because of all the memories. Jaehyun never doubted for a second that Yuta still carried the memories with him, the same way he did himself. It was an equilibrium that would have been broken if either of them ever said, “Hey, it’s been so long!” or “I’ve missed you all these years, what have you been up to?” And they didn’t say those things, because while they were true, they implied an interruption, a time when they hadn’t belonged to each other. A time when they hadn’t been a part of each other’s lives. Jaehyun was going through middle and high school, and his world was changing around him, but Yuta wasn’t changing. Yuta was always there. They’d come together again, at some future time, in some yet-unknown capacity. It didn’t seem to matter when or how; even now, they weren’t really apart.
Of course, it did matter, and Yuta was changing, but Jaehyun didn’t know any of that yet. What was true was that they would come together again, sooner than later. Yuta’s mom called Jaehyun’s mom with the news that Yuta had gotten into Seoul University, where Jaehyun was planning to go next year. There was a lot of excited shouting, a lot of back-and-forth. Finally, Jaehyun was put on the phone with Yuta. The last time they’d spoken directly, instead of through messages passed on by their moms, was in eighth grade when Yuta’s family had come to Seoul for New Year’s.
“Yuta!” Jaehyun had said into the phone, his hand fumbling with it.
“Jae, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun could hear the excitement in his voice. “Oh my god,” Jaehyun said.
“We’re going to Seoul University together,” Yuta said.
Jaehyun repeated it. “We’re going to Seoul University together!”
It was a surreally happy day. Jaehyun felt victorious somehow, vindicated, even. Like it was his own success and his own good news to celebrate. Like fate had flailed its limbs with intention instead of arbitrarily for once.
And then they were at Seoul University, and Yuta was the center of Jaehyun’s world again. They were older now, and Yuta was different—more stubborn than Jaehyun remembered, and more self-possessed, and more driven. Jaehyun, on the other hand, had become warier, more reserved. They had grown up in different directions, and yet Jaehyun still felt so close to him. Jaehyun still loved him. Yuta was the best part of everything, he was the glow of summer, he was the warmth in winter, he was spring and fall’s brightest color. They were a vivid contrast. It didn’t make any sense, and Jaehyun knew it was special, and he knew better than to mess with something special. He knew better than to try to change what had never changed. It would be greedy to ask for more from this friendship, the kind of friendship that some people only ever dreamed of having.
Jaehyun was one of the luckiest people on earth, and he had never been one to push his luck.
Yuta was, though. Yuta was definitely the kind of person to push his luck.
He was doing it now, begging Jaehyun to take pictures of him for Instagram for the third time in the last two hours. “Come on,” he said, posing with his chin in his hands, “the world wants to see how good your boyfriend looks in cafés. Should I pretend to drink my coffee? Or just hold the cup near my lips?”
“This is the fakest thing I’ve ever seen,” said Johnny, who was sitting across from them.
“You’re just bitter,” said Doyoung next to him. “I think you guys are cute.”
“Thank you, Doyoung,” said Yuta. He turned exaggerated puppy-eyes to Jaehyun. “Baby,” he said sweetly, “come on, just one more picture.”
Jaehyun could understand why Johnny didn’t believe the relationship is real. Yuta was terrible at this. Even the initial brain-frying rush of Yuta calling him “baby” had quickly worn off because of how ridiculously frequently he said it. “The world knows how good you look in cafés,” Jaehyun said, “baby.”
Yuta knocked Jaehyun’s knee hard with his under the table.
“But okay,” Jaehyun went on, digging out his phone yet again, “I guess they wouldn’t hurt from seeing it one more time.”
“All right,” said Doyoung as Jaehyun snapped a photo, “all right. Instagram loves your faces, etcetera, etcetera. I just want to know how this happened, like, I didn’t even know either of you liked each other? Let alone both of you?”
“It didn’t happen,” said Johnny. “They’re lying so Yuta doesn’t have to get pied at the fair.”
“Shut up, Johnny,” said Yuta. “It’s real. Jaehyun really likes me. Right, Jaehyun?”
Jaehyun had to restrain an eye roll. “Yes,” he said, “I like you.”
Something in him still rang like a bell when he heard himself say it aloud. He stifled it. Yuta, meanwhile, was saying, “See? Now stop going after your friends’ relationships and get one of your own, Johnny Suh!”
“Where were you when you made it official?” Johnny said. “Both of you answer at the same time. Three two one.”
“Gongcha,” Jaehyun and Yuta answered simultaneously.
“Okay. And what did you say before your first kiss? Three two one.”
Jaehyun looked at Yuta in panic. Yuta said, “That’s personal, jackass!”
“Yeah, Johnny, stop the interrogation,” Doyoung said.
Johnny groaned. “Doyoung, don’t tell me you believe this bullshit.”
Doyoung said, “Not really. But it’s funny. If they’re having a good time, I’m having a good time.”
“What?” said Yuta. “Doie!”
“Listen,” Doyoung shrugged, “your post did go up insanely fast after you made the bet with Johnny.”
“Because—! Because I knew Jaehyun was the only boy I wanted to date!” said Yuta. “It was easy to act fast!”
“Sure,” said Doyoung, “maybe it was easy for you to go fast. I don’t see why Jaehyun agreed so quick though.”
“Well,” said Jaehyun, “I’ve been in love with him my entire life, so, yeah.”
Johnny scoffed. Doyoung just raised an eyebrow while Yuta said, “Exactly. Listen, yes, it was fast, but you guys don’t have to act like we’re carrying out some undercover operation. We’re just two best friends who love each other.”
“Two best friends?” Johnny said suspiciously, while Jaehyun echoed more softly, “Two best friends?”
“Who love each other!” Yuta said emphatically. When they continued to look at him, he said, “Who are in love! Madly!”
“If you’re in love madly,” said Johnny, “then kiss.”
Jaehyun’s heart stopped. Yuta said, “We’re not kissing just because you want us to! We’re in the middle of a café! No one wants to see that!”
“Oh, my god,” said Johnny, throwing up his hands.
“I wouldn’t mind seeing that,” said Doyoung with a smirk.
“Hey,” said Jaehyun, trying to sound angry and serious. “Johnny Suh.”
Johnny lifted his narrowed eyes off Yuta for probably the first time today and looked at Jaehyun. “What, Jaehyun Jeong?”
“I would appreciate it,” said Jaehyun, “if you would stop questioning my love for my boyfriend.” He sounded too stiff. He was awful at this. “Just because you are surprised by it doesn’t mean it’s not real.”
Johnny gave him a flat look while Doyoung slapped a hand over his mouth to contain a laugh.
“You’re conspiring against me,” said Johnny.
Yuta stood up. “Maybe if you had confessed to your crush before I did to mine, you wouldn’t be so sad and nasty right now! Come on, Jaehyun, let’s get out of here.”
“He has a point,” Doyoung said as Yuta grabbed Jaehyun’s hand and yanked up out of his chair. Jaehyun followed him. He liked how possessively Yuta held his hand. Even if it wasn’t real.
“Jesus,” said Jaehyun when they were out on the sidewalk, “you’re terrible at this.”
“It’s not my fault!” Yuta said. “I didn’t think Johnny would be so skeptical, it’s making me freak out!”
“I know,” said Jaehyun.
“Why’s it so hard for him to believe?” Yuta stormed. “What’s so crazy about you and me falling in love?”
The sentence echoed in Jaehyun’s mind. “Well,” he said, “I mean, I don’t think it’s you and me he can’t believe. I think it’s you he can’t believe. You sound like a bag of candy hearts every time you open your mouth.”
Yuta said, “Oh, like you’re so much better! Mr. I-Would-Appreciate-It-If-You-Stopped-Questioning-My-Love—”
“Okay! We’re both thinking too hard about it. We need to act more natural! Like we used to before.”
“Like we used to before? But that was when we were bottling up all our feelings,” said Yuta. “Shouldn’t we be free with our love now that we’ve confessed it? Like, honeymoon phase?”
God, this was too much. The world thrummed a little dizzily as Jaehyun looked into Yuta’s face. His stubborn frown was fixed on his brow.
“No, I mean, sure,” Jaehyun said, hoping his words were making sense, “we can be more free with our love, but not to the point of sounding like cartoons. We’re not different people. We’re still us.”
“Of course we’re still us,” said Yuta. “We’re just us in love. Wouldn’t that affect how you acted around me? Being in love with me?”
Yuta was being willfully obstinate. That was something Jaehyun loved about Yuta more than he liked. “No. I don’t know. Would being in love with me change how you acted?”
Yuta stopped. He coughed. Then he looked at Jaehyun and started to laugh. “Damn,” he said, “you’re right, I guess it wouldn’t.”
“Right,” said Jaehyun, relieved.
“Except that I would kiss you sometimes,” Yuta said. “And other stuff.”
Other stuff? “Well you handled that,” Jaehyun said, “uh, well. When you told Johnny that stuff’s personal. We won’t have to worry about people trying to get us to kiss.”
“Uh huh,” said Yuta, softly, as if he were thinking.
Jaehyun didn’t like Yuta’s tone. Yuta always said “uh huh” like that to preface a statement of respectful disagreement. He’d started doing it not long after entering law school. It was another annoying thing Jaehyun loved about him.
“Yeah,” said Jaehyun, trying to change the subject before Yuta could think any further, “anyway, have you talked to Hyuck? I wanted to tell him that I could help with the fair too if he needs people.”
“Hyuck wanted to see both of us this weekend,” said Yuta slowly.
Jaehyun knew exactly where this was going. “Okay. About the fair? Does he already have someone to work the ring toss? I always—”
“He’s probably going to try to make me prove I won the bet,” Yuta went on, “like Johnny. You know how they are. Being irritating runs in the family.”
“The Instagram post is plenty of proof,” said Jaehyun. “They’ll just have t—”
“I don’t see how we’re going to get through this without having to kiss eventually,” Yuta said.
Jaehyun had known he was going to say that, but it still felt like a punch between the eyes. “No one can force us to kiss, Yuta.”
“No,” said Yuta, “they can’t, but if we’re weird about it for long enough, they’ll stop believing us.”
“They already don’t,” said Jaehyun.
“What? Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.”
“No, I mean kissing isn’t going to make them believe us.” Jaehyun was still seeing stars. He couldn’t believe he was passing up the chance to kiss Yuta. “We can be as loud and couply as we want, but the only thing that will make Johnny and Hyuck leave us alone is if we just act natural. We’ve got to dial it down, not up.”
They rounded the corner, and the sunglazed steps of the Hwang Center came into view. Jaehyun climbed up a few steps and sat down. Realizing Yuta hadn’t said anything, he said quickly, “Don’t you think?”
“Mmm.” Yuta’s arms were folded. He sat next to Jaehyun. “I’m not convinced, but okay, yeah, let’s dial it down for now.”
Jaehyun breathed out in relief. “When does class start?”
Yuta looked at his phone. The breeze played a strand of hair over his face. “15. Stay with me a few minutes, I don’t want to go in yet.”
“Hey, Yuta!”
A pretty girl in a yellow skirt was waving up the street. She jogged a few steps in her heels, holding her shoulder bag against her side.
“Hi Joy,” said Yuta. “Little later than usual today?”
“How would you know? You’re earlier than usual.”
“Touché.”
“Did you finish the reading? I only got twenty pages in and I fell asleep.”
“Better than me, I think I read like ten. Joy, have you met Jaehyun?” Yuta said, sticking a thumb in his direction.
Joy’s eyes widened. She looked Jaehyun up and down. “Oh?” she said.
Yuta rolled his eyes, chewing on his lip to hide a smile. “Okay.”
“Hi,” said Jaehyun.
“Hi,” said Joy. Then she looked at Yuta and said out of the corner of her mouth, “He’s gorgeous!”
Jaehyun laughed, face flushing. Yuta said, “Yes, thank you for that observation, Joy, I’m well aware.”
“Jaehyun,” said Joy as she sat down on the step below them, “I’ve heard so much about you.”
“You have?” said Jaehyun.
“All right, all right,” said Yuta, “yes, it’s big news, I’m dating my childhood best friend, woohoo.”
“No,” said Joy, “that’s old news. The big news is that he’s actually as beautiful as you said he is. Honestly I didn’t believe you.”
Jaehyun was blushing so hard, he wanted to bury his face in his hands. “Come on, Joy,” said Yuta, “stop it, you’re embarrassing him.”
“Embarrassing him, or embarrassing you?” said Joy gleefully. “Kun!”
“Hey,” said another student crossing the steps to them, this one in a sweater vest over a T-shirt and glasses.
“Hey Kun,” said Yuta, “we’re—”
“Kun, that’s Yuta’s boyfriend!” said Joy, pointing across Yuta at Jaehyun. “Look how stunning he is!”
Kun grinned at Jaehyun and said, “Wow, I thought Yuta was lying.”
“Guys,” said Yuta. “He’s nice, too, if you’d stop talking about him and talk to him.”
“No, no,” said Jaehyun, “uh, it’s flattering.”
“Yuta’s right. Hi, Jaehyun,” said Kun, going around Joy, “I’m Kun. Great to meet you.”
“You too,” said Jaehyun. “You guys are all in the same class at law school…?”
“We’ve got a couple classes together, yeah,” said Kun. “I hear you and Yuta have been together your whole lives, but you only just admitted to each other that you’re in love.”
Jaehyun coughed and looked at Yuta. Joy said, “Jaehyun, I’m so sorry, I genuinely assumed Yuta was blinded by love and talking out of his ass when he said you look like a model.”
Jaehyun said, “No, I…he…”
Yuta said, “Leave the poor man alone, can’t you see he doesn’t know how to accept compliments? Also, I’m offended you didn’t believe someone this hot would date me.”
Joy said, “Shut up. You’re obviously sexy.”
“Yeah, it’s more the fact that you talked about Jaehyun like he’s God,” said Kun.
“Can somebody please explain what was in the reading?” Yuta said. “Kun, tell me you finished it.”
“Of course I did,” said Kun.
“What did it say?” said Joy.
“Like I’m gonna tell y’all,” said Kun.
“Kun, you SUCK,” said Joy.
“Please!” said Yuta.
“Read it yourselves next time,” said Kun. “I have to go talk to Lee before class starts. Jaehyun, it was nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, same. Likewise,” said Jaehyun.
“Yuta, let’s go in,” said Joy, “class is starting soon.”
“Yeah,” Yuta said, shouldering his bag. He looked at Jaehyun.
“Bye,” said Jaehyun.
“See you,” said Yuta, “baby.”
There was less schmaltz on the word this time, less forced sweetness. In fact, it would have sounded entirely natural, if Yuta hadn’t been standing there with his hands on his hips like he didn’t know what to do with himself. There was a roller-coaster, stomach-floater moment where Jaehyun thought Yuta was going to kiss him. Instead, though, he just pulled Jaehyun into a hug.
“Have fun in class,” said Jaehyun self-consciously, while Joy whispered something in Kun’s ear and they snickered.
Yuta said, “Thank you.” Then he mouthed it again soundlessly, thank you, while giving Jaehyun’s arm a squeeze.
“Bye Jaehyun!” said Joy with a wave of her black nails.
“Bye, guys,” said Jaehyun.
Yuta put a hand on Kun’s shoulder and said, “Seriously, the reading. Fill me in.”
“What’s in it for me?” said Kun.
Yuta felt in his pocket as they climbed the steps. “I have…gum?”
“What flavor?”
Jaehyun watched them go up the steps. At the top, they joined another group of students who were standing outside the doors. Yuta looked over his shoulder. He smiled when he saw Jaehyun.
Jaehyun waved. Yuta blew him a kiss—or hurled it, really, like a stage actor miming a Frisbee toss—and Jaehyun laughed. Then Yuta turned around and went inside.
Jaehyun stood there for a little while, letting the heat stick to his skin and the breeze draw it away in turns. He had to get the train to the greenhouse soon; his shift started in a half hour. But he didn’t want to leave the place Yuta was in just yet. Plus, he was still processing the conversation they’d had. Yuta thought he looked like a model. Well, that wasn’t surprising, Yuta had said as much to his face before. The surprising part was that Yuta had also told his law school friends Jaehyun looked like a model. Jaehyun picked his bag up and started to walk down the street. Yuta was having a whole lot of fun with this fake boyfriends thing. More fun than Jaehyun was having, that was for sure.
Jaehyun was kind of having fun, though. Yeah, he felt like he’d been socked in the chest every time Yuta or one of their friends mentioned them being in love, but it also felt…well, good.
He was still thinking about the fact that it felt good, and trying to decide whether it felt more good or exhausting, when he opened the door to the apartment after work and smelled food cooking. He looked down at the bag of Vietnamese takeout he’d bought. Yuta stuck his head out of the kitchen.
“Jaehyun!” he said. “I have a surprise!”
“Yeah, me too,” said Jaehyun, holding up the takeout bag.
Yuta’s smile went down and his eyebrows went up. “Oh, no,” he said, “I made dinner for you.”
“I bought dinner for you,” said Jaehyun, starting to laugh.
Yuta pinched the bridge of his nose. Then they just stood there laughing in the doorways opposite each other. Jaehyun sat down in the entryway. He loved little moments like this. He loved Yuta so much.
“All right,” said Yuta, coming over to pick up the takeout bag, “two dinners. Two dinners. One now, one in four hours.”
“Yeah,” said Jaehyun, kicking off his shoes.
Yuta was still giggling as he went back into the kitchen. “What is this? Pho?”
Jaehyun raised his voice so it would carry into the kitchen. “Yeah, and fried rice. What did you make?”
“Curry. What do you want first?”
“How long until the curry is done?”
“Maybe 10?”
“Let’s wait for the curry.”
“Okay, I’ll put this in the fridge.”
Jaehyun stacked his shoes on the low shelf inside the door. Then he crossed the living room, trailing his fingers along the leaves of the philodendron and the peace lily on the shelf. They looked happy in the sunlight streaming through the window, even if it would only be here a few minutes.
“What kind of curry?” said Jaehyun as he came into the kitchen.
“Chicken,” said Yuta, moving things around in the fridge to make room for the takeout.
Jaehyun looked at the table, gasped, and covered his mouth with his hands.
Yuta looked at him. Then he said, “Oh yeah! Oh my god, I forgot I had an actual surprise for you, not just dinner!”
Jaehyun stared at the tiny plastic pot on the table, at the pink and green leaves rising out of it. “Is that Anacampseros telephiastrum variegata?” he whispered.
“I…have no idea.” Yuta was shutting the refrigerator door. He ran to the table, grabbed the plant, and held it out to Jaehyun with both hands like a letter. “It’s a sunrise succulent! I know you said you wanted another succulent, and I thought you would like the pink leaves…”
“Yuta, holy shit, I’ve wanted one of these since I lived in the States,” said Jaehyun, taking it from him and turning it around. “I thought they didn’t have them in Korea.”
“Really?” said Yuta, hands clasped behind his back now. “Wow. I have great taste then.”
“Yes,” said Jaehyun, “you do. Oh my god. Look at the pink.”
“I knew you’d love the pink,” said Yuta, beaming.
Jaehyun lowered the succulent. “Wait, why…?”
“Yeah, so,” said Yuta, “today was a pretty crazy episode in our”—he let out a clumsy laugh—“you know, our whole fake dating escapade, and I wanted to thank you for taking it all in stride and everything. You’re truly Operation Yujae’s MVP.”
“Operation Yujae?” said Jaehyun.
“Hyuck came up with it,” said Yuta. “Not the operation part, but the Yujae part.”
“That’s why you got me an Anacampseros telephiastrum variegata?” said Jaehyun. “Yuta, you didn’t have to do that. This whole thing is fun.”
Yuta blinked prettily. “It’s fun? I thought it was turning into a pain in the ass, a little bit.”
“No,” said Jaehyun. “I mean, it’s a pain in the ass when you make me take three hundred pictures of you, but you do that anyway.”
“Oh, ha ha,” said Yuta, turning around to stir the curry.
“But messing with Johnny and listening to your friends tell me I’m good-looking,” Jaehyun said, “I mean, I’ll take it. You don’t have to cook an elaborate dinner or anything. Let alone track down and buy Anacampseros telephiastrum variegata.”
“That really just rolls off your tongue, huh,” said Yuta.
“Don’t you think it’s fun?” Jaehyun said before he could stop himself.
Yuta put the lid back on the curry pot. “It is fun, right?”
“Yeah, it’s fun,” said Jaehyun eagerly.
The rice cooker dinged. Yuta went to it and turned a knob. He was smiling. “No, yeah, it is. It’s lowkey funny. Except when Johnny’s yelling at us.”
“Then it’s hilarious,” said Jaehyun, stroking the plump leaves of the sunrise succulent.
“Yeah, true.”
Jaehyun watered the four plants in the kitchen and the eight plants in the living room, bringing the new succulent with him so they could all be introduced. The evening sun was just dipping below the roof of the building opposite the apartment. Jaehyun’s heart was all filled up. The room was humid enough to make his Codariocalyx motorius slowly bobble its leaves, which he hadn’t seen it do in a week, and he had a brand-new Anacampseros telephiastrum variegata to care for, and Yuta was in the next room spooning rice and curry onto plates for the two of them. And fake-dating him was fun. He’d said so. They’d both said so.
Maybe the next two weeks wouldn’t be too much of a mess after all.