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Summary:

Collection of my scum villain tumblr prompt fills that are too short for me to justify making them their own story.
1: SQH’s very specific threats
2: Bai Zhan Peak disciple LBH
3: cucumberplane bro code
4: JQS pov of cucumberplane kabedon
5: #Jiuplane rights
6: cumplane rights side dish
7: naruto crossover, SQH reborn as Anko

Notes:

If you have a prompt you’d like me to write for, please go to my tumblr blog and leave it in my ask box! I’ll get around to it sometime <3

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter Text

Liu Qingge growls, hand flying to his sword as he steps forward as if to lunge. Something catches on him, however, and he’s yanked backward. 

He blinks in momentary, angered befuddlement, and turns around to see that Shang Qinghua, of all people, has his hand buried in Liu Qingge’s outer robe.  

Incensed, Liu Qingge changes targets and turns to reach out for him instead, curse at the tip of his tongue, but something about his shidi makes him pause.

“What are you—“

“If you go and break things again, and give me more paperwork to do,” Shang Qinghua begins, voice so soft it’s just barely above a whisper, “I will eviscerate you.”

Liu Qingge scowls. He tries to tug his sleeve out of the other Peak Lord’s hand, but Shang Qinghua’s grip is like a steel trap, at complete odds with his smaller stature and the typical pathetic countenance that Liu Qingge has become used to over the decades. 

Shang Qinghua leans forward a little so that their faces are closer together, and looks Liu Qingge in the eye. The blank expression on his face, for some reason, makes a cold sweat break out at the Bai Zhan lord’s hairline.

“Liu-shidi,” he says, almost gently. “I will debone you like a chicken.”

Liu Qingge stares at him. Shang Qinghua’s face doesn’t change. 

He rips his sleeve out of the other man’s suddenly lax grip, and straightens, smoothing down his robes as he goes. He doesn’t reach for his sword, and instead watches as the line of Shang Qinghua’s shoulders relax ever so slightly. 

After a long moment of silence, in which Liu Qingge pretends not to notice the perplexed and astonished stares of their fellow peak lords, as Shang Qinghua completely ignores them as if they aren’t even there, Liu Qingge lets out a low grunt and turns on his heel. 

If he’s not going to find a fight here, then what’s the point of being present?