Chapter Text
“A home isn't always the house we live in. It's also the people we choose to surround ourselves with. "
Wei HongLian had always thought that a life full of Love, Laughter, Peace, and Happiness is not meant for him. But several people he had met and sheltered broke that kind of principle for him. He once had a thought why can't his past be like this current life he lived in? But then again it already happened. and wherever he is was already full of the things he always wanted.
He also thought that what he sought was a peaceful death. However, It looks like the people surrounding him would not allow him. Well, He himself doesn't want to leave.
“It's not an unkind thing to make a new home. And it will be one where all whom you love are welcomed.”
He had several thoughts what if the people in his past didn't like it? What if the ghost of his past haunt him and took away everything from him again? Nevertheless, He's too stubborn to let everything be the same once again. They are the same people but also not. And the thought of losing them fears him.
He found a family, happiness, and love. He definitely won't allow anyone even himself to destroy that hard-earned life.
“He feels like everything that has gone missing in his life, joy and love and laughter and companionship, all flooding back into him at once. This is home. This is what he's been searching for. What He stayed alive for.”
He once had a thought that if he did not exist then everything would have been fine but now... surrounded by his family... He doesn't think of it anymore. HongLian made a promise to himself that He will do whatever it takes to protect the life he undeniably achieved.
══════⊹⊱≼≽⊰⊹══════
The turning of Fates started when a traumatized young man saved a child.
Even if not meant to happen, their lives would still unite and it revolves between the two.
Let us find out the journey of the two as they heal each other's painful lives.
The Young Man changing his Past in a world timeline that is so entirely different yet the same.
And a child who only wishes for a Family and found a lot more than he thought so.
That is the Future both wished to protect.
.
.
.
.
In Nightless City, where his recently-gained two important people perished in the ashes spread in the winds.
Where the last light had dimmed from his life;
where crowds of people screamed for his death, where corpses ripped and attacked at his command,
and where his dying sister was cradled in their brother’s arms. Was he even allowed to call him sister? He had already defected...
His sister, his beautiful, selfless, kind Shijie, died, pushing him away as she took the sword that was meant for him. It should have been him... Why did she do that?
As the light slowly dims from her eyes. His brother, whom he did not deserve to be called brother anymore howled like a lone wolf. He had stopped trying to think he deserves to live. Everything he loves was taken away from him. He just wants to live in Peace so why? why fate is cruel to him? Just why?
He had enough...Since no one is left to ground him to life...He will end this himself...He commanded the Stygian Tiger Seal to destroy them still minding sparing his own brother from the bloodbath.
Still minding to not harm Lan Zhan. Oh? Does he still deserve to call him by his given name? No. As his Uncle, the Grandmaster said, He is an abomination.
During the commotion when he activated the Seal, A blur of white was in his peripheral vision and took him away from that horrid place.
His memories from there were all blur but he felt that the White-robed man said something but all he said was...
"GET LOST!"
All he sees is DEATH. DeAtHdEaThDEatHDeA-----------------
All he sees is RED. RedreDrEdRedREDReR--------
He hid at least the last important person in his life, the child, A-Yuan... his child away from the Carnage, the Bloodbath, the Home that the Wens made for him. One that he does sure not deserve.
As he destroyed the seal, he felt a sword stabbing on his side and saw his Brot--- Jiang WanYin. Instead of coughing the blood that accumulated in his mouth from that stunt, he gave his brother a small smile and push him away from harm.
With the last bit of strength left and will, he destroyed the Seal. Once that thing was gone all the corpse turn their hungry gazes to him as if they want to devour him. Devour, they did. With one last look at his brother, He saw confusion etching on his face.
He even saw the Lans at the back of his brother. He saw Lan Xichen beside Lan QiRen.
He hopes they won't be able to see his child. At least, spare the child from this hell.
He closes his eyes and took a deep breath. As he looks again at his brother and the Lans, he mouthed his last words as he was sure they will not hear him through the corpse howling here and there.
"I'm Sorry... Thank You..." with a smile on his lips as he's contented.
.
.
.
.
.
"Great News! The Yiling Patriarch Wei WuXian is Dead!"
***
Just What He did do to earn the Ire of the Cultivation World? He only wants to live and die as a normal cultivator... Just where did it start to go wrong...?
He only lives and seeks love… not blood and carnage…
He wanted peace… not to live like a prisoner…
yet those were taken away from him... just why? He can't even live a carefree life?
It is as if he does not deserve even those...
He was only a Human… was he?
With all that happened to him, He wonders if a Human can't have those...?
Was he already a Monster since he had wielded Demonic Cultivation?
But then again, was he even given a choice?
No one can answer him as Darkness devours him letting him unable to enter the cycle of Reincarnation... or so He hopes so.
A lone tear fell from an Immortal's eyes as she heard the shattered soul's last wish.
The poor soul did not even deserve what he had experienced but the World had already turned against him.
This is why she refuses to leave the Celestial Mountain. This is also the reason why she warned her disciples that once they left her Mountain, they are not allowed to come back anymore.
Had she allowed them would she even be able to meet her Daughter's son? Would her first Disciple visit from the Cultivation World and bring some Souvenirs? Would they experience a painful Death had she not said those words?
Her heart screams at the injustice her daughter's son experienced. She already failed her first disciple as well as her daughter. She refuses to yield to her grief.
'I want to help him... I want to at least save him...'
With both Spiritual energy and tamed resentful energy manifest in both of her hands, She led the shattered soul to the center of the array.
She failed to notice that one of the untamed strands of resentful energy in her daughter's son played with the array resulting in an unimaginable mistake.
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
Wei Wuxian is aware that he died from the corpse devouring him as he commanded them when he destroyed the whole seal. He hopes that he destroyed that thing properly... He felt like a part of him was ripped out of himself.
He swears, though injured badly was able to destroy the whole seal. Was he able to? That thing is too sentient to back out without fighting... At least his sins will be paid from that AlOnE--- Though would it be enough?
So For All the Gods and Goddesses in Heaven Above as well as Demons in Hell... Why is He still ALIVE? And why does he feel like something was about to go wrong?
Why did they let a Monster live? He's so done with his life? He wants to rest now. No one will wait for him anymore. No one will ground him anymore. His Anchor...His Shijie is dead...gone from the World. So why? Just why? At least let me rest in peace never to be born again.
With all the names he was called... Demon...Devil Incarnate... Evil Patriarch... Yiling Patriarch...Immoral...Abomination... What was his name again...?
'A-Xian...'
'Wei WuXian!'
'Wei Ying...'
He blanked out for the most part...He just lay there surrounded by even more resentful energy urging him to sit. He's Alone though? No Sects laying a Siege on his home.
...Home? Burial Mounds? HA! Ridiculous! For all the pain suffered in this place, he called this damning place HOME?! Nonsense! Even with the Wens living there! All he saw is Death wherever he goes...All he brought is Death... He shouldn't have been born... He should have just died on the streets or even together with his parents...
Wei Wuxian never felt anything until something cold fell onto his face... He sat up to look around his surroundings... Cold...Snow...Winter? Where the hell is he? The next thing he saw is a white strand of Hair. Is this his hair? Since He's the only one here so this white hair must be his.
He sighed. He needs to go out... but he doesn't want to but if he wants to know the date... He just has to deal with this and find out where in the damning place he fell into, though he's aware that he's somewhere around the Burial Mounds. He got up from the floor and walk aimlessly to the entrance of the Burial Mounds before making his way to the nearest town which is, not surprisingly, the town of Yiling.
As it's Mao Hour, the townspeople are preparing for the day. Wei Wuxian walks with no destination in mind. He might just need to go to any vendor and ask for the time or date then leave. Find somewhere secluded and remain there to rot forever. He wandered without a destination. He just let his foot take him wherever...
People of Yiling can't help but stare at the young man with White long hair with messy clothes. He looks like he wants to die. 'Poor Soul.' Some of them thought. They watched him enter the secluded part of Yiling where wolves are constant.
Back to Wei WuXian, he ignored the stares he was getting at then suddenly he heard loud growls followed by a child's scream and he stiffened. Before he could run away from the dogs or whatever that is, he saw a kid who is so familiar to him run past him followed by three ferocious wolves.
Did he just see his past self? When he was a kid? When is he? Did he... Is he in the past...? Back to the start in his street rat days... before Sect Leader Jiang FengMian found him. How Ironic...
In the back of his mind, He once thought of Time Travel but he doesn't have enough time because of him living like a prisoner in Burial Mounds as well as being the sole enemy of the whole Cultivation World so he stopped pursuing the idea.
Not only is he not dead... whoever sent him here had to send him to a timeline where his loved ones are still alive. Except for his parents. Never his Parents. 'If you were to return me into the past at least send me before my parent's death...'
Wait...
Isn't this the perfect time to get rid of himself...? Then he wouldn't bring trouble or death wherever he goes. Without him then Lotus Pier would not burn down... Jiang Cheng wouldn't lose his core... Shijie wouldn't d--
Before He knew it, He ran after the kid and the dogs or in better words, Wolves. With how huge it was. He pushed back his fears of dogs as he desperately saves his past self from being bitten or else it will turn into a trauma. though might be too late already...but he'll be damned if he's not gonna try hard. He just has to contemplate later if he wants to kill the kid himself...
He doesn't want to get known as a demonic cultivator right off the bat so he picks up a wooden stick and a stone, big enough to hurt the wolves trying to gobble on his kid self. Urgh! He felt bile rising from his throat at the sight of the wolves but he stood on his ground. Injured he may be but he won't stand by and watch his past self bitten to near death. He suddenly stops in his tracks. 'Why do I want to save myself? He can just be killed by those bites...' Wei WuXian thought.
But Alas, his body moved before he could think then Wei Wuxian eventually threw the rock and swung the wooden stick to get rid of the wolves. They yelp and retreated reluctantly, tails between their legs. The wolves went immediately to the forest ahead.
He swayed dangerously as the tension broke...he leaned on the wall to catch his breath and calm his erratic heart. Obviously from running and from his fears of dogs. He looks around the corner to look for the child and saw him curled up. Good... no injury. So no trauma yet...he thinks... he might just flinch at the sounds of bark or so... He hopes so...
"Kid..." He called the child causing it to flinch.
"It's okay. You're safe. There are no wolves anymore. Are you injured?" He asked.
The child shakes his head.
"kid." Wei WuXian called. "...What's your name?" He knows... but He's not sure anymore... All he heard are people cursing behind his back calling him a Heretic, Demon, or harbinger of Death...
"A-Ying's M-mama and Papa call me A-Ying..." the child warily responded.
"Mm. So Where are they now? Why are you alone?" They're dead... I once thought they left me but then I was wrong... They were truly gone from the World. Would they be proud of what their son had become?
"Mama and Papa told A-Ying to w-wait but they never come h-home...uhh... three moons p-passed by and first snow since I-I... A-Ying last saw them..." He timidly replied. Tears threatened to fall from his big, round silver eyes.
He just had to be reminded of his A-Yuan whenever he cries...Ah... he couldn't kill this child... he couldn't kill himself... not when he remembered his A-Yuan. His sweet, sweet A-Yuan... He could never deny A-Yuan anything.
"I see." He stood up from where he was leaning and walks to where the child was.
He dropped to his knees so he can be on eye level with the kid, careful not to frighten him.
"You want to live...?" 'Do I...?' He idly thought so he asked his kid self.
The Child was shocked and he slowly nodded tearfully still wary of the stranger but his eyes were full of determination instead of fear. Ah... That stubbornness... Somewhat nostalgic... right... I once had that attitude back then before I...
No... Wei WuXian, don't go there...
"Then don't follow any cultivator wearing purple." He said emotionlessly. 'All I need to do is to warn him. Without him growing up in Lotus Pier then Jiang Cheng's dogs won't be sent away.' He shivered slightly. 'He also won't be insecure since he was not there and Madam Yu won't physiologically a----- No... Madam Yu won't have to lash out at the poor child like him in the past.'
The child furrowed his brows. "Why?"
Wei WuXian stood up. "Just so." 'If you don't want to ruin a Family which you destroyed in the Future...'
'I, at least have to let this child live a carefree life unlike him. Should I send him to Gusu? No... I barely remember but Lan Qiren also despises me...'
"Then Can I follow you?" the child, Wei Ying innocently asks.
He halted in his steps as he turned back to the boy. "Why would you follow an irredeemable man?" He can't help but spat out.
The boy made a confused sound. "Why can't I follow you?" He asks as he tilted his head to the side. The Child still has most of his clothes, compared to the time Jiang Fengmian had already found him.
'He said one moon passed and first snow? Perhaps one moon meant a full moon so it's been three months since their deaths. Three months also for living as a street rat... I guess the child is still 5 or even younger if I'm correct.'
"Didn't your parents tell you not to follow strangers?" He said. "What if you followed a murderer unknowingly?" 'Like me... Aren't I counted as a Murderer?'
"But Pretty Gege saved me! I'm sure pretty gege is not a bad man!" the boy exclaimed enthusiastically. It made Wei WuXian flinch. "I'm a bad man..." he countered.
"No! Would a bad man save me from d-dogs?!" Wei Ying shouted making him flinch again.
"look, it's not do--- it was a wolf..."
"Still the s-same!" the child insisted. Oh, Whatever.
A slight pain and longing tinge at his heart. He unconsciously called his sword's name even knowing that he didn't mean that word when he said it earlier. It's not like he regretted giving up the broad path as well as giving his brother his own golden core. It's just that he regretted making that situation happen in the first place.
' This time... If the situation will be the same I'll protect them in the shadows... no matter what cost...'
He was brought out of his reverie when the child once again exclaimed. "S-still I want to come with you!"
Wei WuXian still refused the child. "No."
He decided to teleport instead of walking lest he will be followed by the child. Fortunately, the place they were currently in was an abandoned alley in an equally abandoned area in Yiling. He summoned his resentful energy and promptly decided to leave in front of the child.
Unfortunately, just as he was stubborn, the child was also stubborn. He kept quiet and slowly clutched onto the robe of the man in front of him. Onto which Wei WuXian failed to notice. With blood, he drew a teleportation array in the air. He felt himself teleporting and landed near the unknown place. As he didn't have a destination in mind, he just pick whatever place he thought of. ‘Forest will do, I suppose.’
"Wah!" Wei WuXian heard an exclamation from a child... Hold on! A child?! He quickly turned down when he finally felt a tug on his robes.
"A-Ying!" He called. "Why did you do that?! What if you got hurt!" He reprimanded. Somehow despite being scolded, the child only laugh. And Oh... how his ears betrayed his heart. The laugh brought some peace to himself.
"Pretty gege! I was flying! we were flying!" the child said with a smile. Wei WuXian shook his head, exasperated with his younger self. To be sure, he picks up the child and scrutinized him. Looked up from head to toe as well as turned him around, making sure that he was fine. His stunt from earlier almost brought him a heart attack.
A child without a golden core at the start could be in danger if the teleportation earlier failed. or if it succeeded and the child happens to let go of his robes he could get lost or worse could immediately die. Once he deemed the child was fine aside from small scratches and still-healing bitemarks, he put him down. Of course, the child was fine... because after laughing and letting him do whatever he wants, the child is currently playing with his white hair!
"A-Ying..." He sighed. This Child is too curious. He was now eating his hair! "A-Ying my hair is not food. Stop it, little one."
The child stopped what he was doing after being told to do so. "Are you an old man? You look younger and prettier but why do you have old man's hair?" The child questioned.
Wei WuXian sighed. "I don't know as well, little one... but A-Ying didn't I tell you not to follow me?"
The child pouts. "I want to come with you!"
Wei WuXian sighed. "..." He massages the bridge of his nose. The stubbornness of the child below him is making his head aches. Like he can actually dismiss it when he himself is also stubborn. As Wei WuXian pondered on what to do, the child once again tugged on his robes but this time, there was fear in his silver eyes. "What is it?" he softly asks the trembling child.
"W-why are we h-here? Aren't we not allowed to come to B-Burial Mounds? The Yiling people said so..." he said with a quiver visible in his voice.
"Burial Mounds?" 'That's absurd, I thought of a forest...' He look up and indeed they were in the Burial Mounds specifically outside the so-called Demon Slaughtering Cave. The very place that made him suffer for 3 months.
The very place that became Home with the Wen Remnants. That was destroyed. Burned. Blood and Carnage. Blood. Blood. Carnage. Burned. Blood. Blood. Blood. Red. Red. Red. Re-------
Wei WuXian clutched his robes, where his heart is. He didn't see the child whose face is full of worry. All he could see is red.
Red. Red. Red. What is Red...? Fire? Blood? Blood. Oh, God. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Bl---
"Gege!" Wei Ying shouted. Wei WuXian could not hear. His ears were ringing. All He could hear are shouts of rage. Calling for his death.
Resentful Energy flared up. Countless Memories; good or bad, quickly overwhelmed his mind. With more bad memories specifically his first fall, and the massacre on the Wens he sheltered, as well as his death. He would have continued to wallow in those memories had he not heard a sharp cry.
Wei Ying, the child who should have been beside him was flung away and his small back was hit by a tree. The child threw up blood from that and passed out but not after calling after his new parental figure.
"Gege..."
At that call, Hei HongLian suddenly became aware of his surroundings. Strangely, it sounded like A-Yuan. His feet felt lighter than earlier where he knew the child was currently holding. Oh, God. My child where is my child...?
Then he heard a groan, Wei WuXian immediately snapped out of his trance and took a glance at the cry he heard. His crimson eyes widened when he saw the child hunched over, his back bleeding. "Wei Ying!" he unconsciously called. He was bewildered as to why the child was far away from him when the boy was clutching onto his robes. 'Did a resentful spirit sneak behind me and hurt the child?! but there was nothing... the place was somehow subdued...'
Then again for the second time, his eyes widen. His child. Never his younger self. He did not know when he thought of his younger self as his child. He didn't know when he had already separated himself from his younger self.
He had already gone Insane. Was he also insane in his past life? Was that even true? Who was he again?
He had gone insane for letting his child get hurt. Wei Ying. Oh, poor sweet Wei Ying. His child passed out. His back bleeding and he had thrown out blood.
Who dared to hurt his child? He still did not know he did it himself.
Wei WuXian unconsciously receded his resentful energy and ran to his child. "A-Ying!"
With a pale face, he hurriedly went to the child and took him in his arms. His hands felt the blood oozing out of his back. "A-Ying!" The child only gave a weak groan. "Can you hear me?!" Wei WuXian once again asked.
"P-Pretty Gege...?" the child weakly called. Wei WuXian sighed. "Are y-you okay, child?"
The child hummed. "Mn..." Wei WuXian somehow felt nostalgic but he put that thought at the back of his mind as the blood continues to flow down. 'He's bleeding too much!'
WuXian softly touched the child. Never his young self. This one will be his child. His Son if he wants. His to love and care. His Treasure. His oh-so-precious Treasure.
"A-Ying..." he called once again to try and wake his son up. Asking who dared to hurt his child. He took a look at the wounds.
His back was injured by being slammed into the tree... and the blood in his mouth was from the impact. He forages from the nearby forest far from Burial Mounds to search for Medicinal plants that can stop the bleeding. Good thing he knows first aid in situations like this. He then went back to his child and carefully wrapped the bleeding back.
During the Process, his child woke up. "A-Ying..." WuXian softly called.
"Gege..." the child, A-Ying called back.
"A-Ying" he called. "A-Ying, please stay awake. We'll come back to Yiling to find an Apothecary... " Wei WuXian said, trembling. He brushed away the stray hair on the child's face. "You'll be okay... so hold on... please..."
The child just groaned weakly. 'Tsk! I don't have a golden core so I can't pass him spiritual energy...' Wei WuXian went rigid when he felt the child slacking in his arms. As if he had no energy left and his body was also rapidly getting cold. Not only because of the weather but also of blood loss.
"A-Ying!" was the last thing that the child heard before darkness overtook him.
Wei WuXian mindful of the child's injuries bolts down to the other side of the burial Mounds that will lead them out of the forest for any onlookers. He had paved this way with Wen Ning whenever they went down to sell radishes. 'Good thing I still remember the way. It'll be hard to avoid cultivators and common people alike if they saw us going down from the Burial Mounds.'
When they were out of the forest, Wei WuXian immediately ran past the people and cultivators to find an Apothecary. He barely remembers seeing one when A-Yuan got a fever. He hopes that it will still be in the same place. In his peripheral vision, he saw a couple of decaying corpses near the entrance of the forest. He had to worry about the child so he thought of coming back there at another time.
"Doctor!" He yelled as he slammed the door surprising the old medic and his people there. 'It's not the younger person I've met in the past... but as long as he's well-versed in medicine...'
"What's wrong, y--" The old medic cut off what he was about to say when he saw the bleeding child in the young man's arms. "Put him in the cot over there."
Wei WuXian did as he was told. He gently laid the child in the cot, back facing the ceiling. The Medic excused himself and felt his pulse. Wei WuXian watched the medic widen his eyes and proceed to send him spiritual energy while his helper tended to the wounds on his back.
Wei WuXian, on the other hand, paces around. A minute later, he was assured to wait in the waiting area. He sat down and tried to calm his nerves. 'How ironic... I've thought of killing the child myself and when the boy was on the verge of death himself, I refuse to acknowledge it...' He closes his eyes instead of pondering further on his thoughts. Even if he was no longer a cultivator wielding spiritual energy he steeled himself to be aware of his surroundings.
He snapped his head up when he heard footsteps. He saw the old medic get out of the divider. "Doctor..." Wei WuXian called, at a loss for words.
The Medic smiled at him. "The child is fine, young man." Wei WuXian released a sigh he didn't know he was holding on. "The child did lose most of his blood but surprisingly despite being 5 years old, He already had a golden core."
"Huh?" he asked dumbly genuinely shocked at the revelation. 'Wei Ying had a core? was that how I was able to survive 3 almost 4 years of living in the streets in my childhood?'
He decides to think of it later. "So he's healed?" he asks.
"Not completely. He loses too much blood. but the injuries had closed off when I sent him some spiritual energy... aside from that, the child was malnourished and had some few scratches and infections from dog bites." the medic replied. "Though he may have a golden core it was still small so maybe because it was still at the beginning stage."
"I see." Wei WuXian was about to sit down when the medic stopped him. "You can stay inside with your child."
'He's not my child but a mini-me... oh well...' He nodded at the medic and made his way to the cot where the child was currently sleeping. He sat beside the bed since the cot was too large for a small boy.
It looks like just sitting on it woke the child. "Pretty Gege?"
"A-Ying..." Wei WuXian called back, with a sigh. "Back then... Will you tell gege who hurt you?"
"no one." A-Ying hurriedly but weakly appeased. Wei WuXian raised an eyebrow at that. Strangely his child decided not to tell him. He can be stubborn and he knows that. He had that personality once and he knows not to push through. He might run away from me if I forced him to tell me...
A-Ying only gave him a big smile and WuXian eased his tense shoulder as he saw that. Despite being currently suspended on the bed due to his injuries, he was still able to smile.
'Fine Don't tell me I can just ask a few spirits back at that damning place... later.'
The child tried to sit up but Wei WuXian stopped him. "Don't get up, little one. "
"but gege-" the child weakly protested. "Shh... A-Ying, rest for now... you might reopen your wounds. " He softly said.
"Then don't leave A-Ying... promise A-Ying..." The child spoke and as he did so, took a hold of Wei WuXian's slightly torn robes.
"Yes. Gege will be here..." he promised. The child- his child finally went back to sleep as if assured that Wei WuXian would keep his promise.
Wei WuXian softly brushed the child's head as the boy still clutched onto his robes tightly. As if afraid that Wei WuXian would leave. He let the child do what he wants.
'Fine... I'll raise you myself, little one. This I promise you.'
Unknown to both of them, A small smile graced the pained and emotionless white-haired man. If the Medic slowly left the two then no one would know.