Archive of Our Own

“Another date with Hueningkai?”

Taehyun glances up from where he is solemnly toeing his shoes off his feet. If this were any other occasions, he would really be all proud and smug in answering that question, except it was asked by his annoying roommate. The said roommate is sprawled on his stomach on the carpet of their living room, completed with his very asleep boyfriend sleeping horizontally across his back. Not a comfortable position at all, yet only served as a salt and lemon garnish on his wounded pride. 

“Yeah. The third one this month,” he says, hissing when he keeps failing to get his left shoe off. When he manages to do it, the shoe bounces off a wall, leaving a faint smudge of dirt on it. “Fuck my life.”

“Hey, it can’t be that bad,” Soobin laughs, seemingly enjoying these moments where the perfect Kang Taehyun is in some kind of predicament. 

“It was that bad.”

Soobin arches a brow, his face looks challenging enough for Taehyun to switch his direction. Instead of heading to his bedroom and wallowing in misery like he had planned for the whole ride home, he steers himself to sit before the hyung. The presence of brown stain on the front of Taehyun’s white shirt seems to intrigue him even more.

“How bad is it?” he asks the magic question. 

And he just really, really loves Choi Soobin for giving him a chance to rant so he won’t have to explode from carrying this much load in his little, fragile soul. 

The date started out like any other normal date:

Kai had picked him up in his motorbike and they went to a cinema. He even bought the tickets and snacks, which would make Taehyun’s chest swell with warmth at how much the guy had prepared for this date. And then it just had to continue with someone else taking a spot next to him while Kai sat several seats away from them, just close enough to keep watch of the couple. 

It went okay for a while.

Sohye, his date for the day, was sweet. She was in the same year with them and she seemed to enjoy the movie. They shared some commentaries under their breaths and it really seemed like it could’ve worked in any other scenario; if only it was not for the fact that his crush was the one who arranged the date for him. 

They agreed to have dinner after the movie, but then the blooming positivity Taehyun had about this was vanquished the moment they walked out of the theatre and they started talking about something else other than the movie. 

“The fact that you asked me out for dinner means that you had a positive impression of me from the two hours we spent there,” she said suddenly.

Taehyun was confused, yet also intrigued enough to let her keep going. “Okay?”

“So we are going to the second phase of the date now, where you’d see whether we click or not during a conversation over fancy meals.”

“Go on.”

“If we didn’t, you would go home and go on another date with someone else next weekend. If we did, then we’d go on more dates until we started dating. Then you’d take me home to meet your parents, but I think you should come see mine first, don’t you think? Because then you won’t be able to bail from our newly budding relationship and waste my time on these dates.”

She said all these with an unshaken smile on her face, despite the fact that Taehyun’s started to fade from his lips somewhere in the middle of the narration. Who the fuck narrated a possible outcome of their date before it even started? He started to suspect that she could keep going until the part where they get married and have children, and live happily ever after.

“I’m just making sure that you’re committed first before we do this, Taehyun-ssi,” she continued, unaware of the look Taehyun had on his face. “If my mom likes you then, we could—“

That was his cue to interrupt. A laugh erupted from his throat a little too awkwardly. “Sohye, let’s continue talking at the restaurant? I’m getting hungry.”

“Ah right, let me go to the restroom first.”

He, in fact, was not hungry at all. When she was in the restroom, he sent a quick emergency text to Kai. Something along the line of SOS – 9/10 kind of emergency!! , which was replied by a bunch of surprised face emojis. 

The emergency help was bestowed upon him in the form of a screaming Kai who came running towards them. He was carrying a cup of newly bought cola, which he conveniently threw at Taehyun’s face the moment the couple stepped out of the building. He blinked a few times through the sticky substance on his face, registering the dripping of the fizzle drink down his chin to the front of his very white t-shirt. 

“This is what you’re doing after you dumped me, Taehyun? Really?” Kai started to yell at his face. It would’ve been so convincing even to him, if only it wasn’t for the fact that he was the one who asked for an emergency help.

But not like this. 

“What the fuck—“

“Stop that, you have no idea what I’ve gone through ever since you left me, after taking all our shared items away from our home, and my college fund money—god, you even took my dog!”

“You’re allergic to dogs!”

“Well, not the point, asshole! You made my life a living hell and now you’re going to do this to this very fine woman?” he gestured towards Sohye, who was just standing there and watching them with her wide, confounded eyes. “Remember when you made fun of my favourite movie? That made me cry for a month. A month! You want to put someone else through that?”

Taehyun didn’t sign up for this. Not the date. Not the sight of his crush yelling at him and his date throwing a grossed out look at him. No. 

“Uh, I think I should go home,” Sohye said meekly, interrupting just as Kai was about to say something.

“Let me call you an uber—“

“No no, I’ll book one. Nice to meet you, Taehyun!” she said quickly before disappearing back into the building, not even sparing another look at the two.

They stayed quiet for a full minute before Taehyun spoke out.

“I didn’t take your dog, I gave it to your sister because you sneezed non-stop for three days,” he deadpanned.

Kai smiled brightly at him, acting like he didn’t just go on a full-blown screaming session at him. He even ignored the brown patch slowly spreading over the front of Taehyun’s shirt, sticking uncomfortably to his skin. 

“Right, right, of course it’s all an act! I’m not in the theatre club for nothing.”

Screw the theatre club.

As they went on a ride home, Kai questioned the reason for their emergency, which Taehyun answered with a nonchalant shrug. “She planned our whole relationship up to meeting her mom. I think she’s going to plan a shared bank account and funeral home by the time of the date.”

In which Kai responded indignantly. His voice might have been louder if it was not for the wind carrying his words towards Taehyun who’s seated behind him, arms locked around his waist.

“Taehyun, that’s not a 9/10 kind of emergency! I went all batshit crazy ex on you for nothing!”

“What would be a 9/10 then?” he shouted back.

“A serial killer vibe!”

“That would be a 10/10, idiot!”

They kept bickering throughout the ride until Kai dropped him off at the lobby of the apartment, throwing a last argument at him before zooming out into the night. And Taehyun, who was not satisfied about another waste of time and his stubborn best friend, stayed sulking until he entered his apartment, which led us to this event of spilling the details to his roommate.

The unsupportive roommate who was clearly only in it for the laugh, judging from how hard he was trying to stifle his laugh instead of comforting Taehyun right now. Soobin would have broken into his usual high pitched laugh if only it was not for the said boyfriend sleeping on his back. 

“Oh my god, this wouldn’t have happened if only you just told him the truth!” Soobin says, covering his face with his palms. 

Taehyun scowls. “Do you think it’s that easy to just walk up to him and go hey, I’ve been crushing on you for the past five years, or maybe since forever, let’s date so I can bring you home to my mom! ? Bet you can’t even do that.”

“I can do it!” Soobin counters defensively. “I’m the one with a boyfriend between us.”

“I really hate you.”

“Just to make you feel better, Taehyunnie, he really can’t do it,” chimes in a deep voice, just before the body across Soobin started stirring, pulling up into a sitting position. 

It’s Soobin’s sleepy boyfriend who he hasn’t seen much. They spent a lot of time together during breaks, but Taehyun wouldn’t have seen that since he stayed at his parents’ home during holiday. Thankfully. 

“Hey!”

“I was the one who took the first step,” the little guy, Beomgyu hyung, says mid-yawn. 

“Thank you, I know Soobin hyung is just all bark.”

“Not you too!”

Beomgyu laughs, pressing a kiss to the back of Soobin’s head before he gets up “Gonna leave you kids fighting on your own while I pee.”

After his boyfriend leaves, Soobin finally gets up to a sitting position, stretching his stiff body, before finally locking his gaze with Taehyun’s again. “For real, though, you have to tell the truth anytime soon. How much longer are you going to let him do this?”

Taehyun also hates it when Soobin starts getting serious, because he always says all the right things, and even as he feels a comforting pat on his cola-sticky hair, he still feels the weight of a stone on his chest.

“It’s all fun and game until someone gets hurt, Taehyunnie.”

He knows. He just needs more time to gather more courage after his failed first attempt.

==

Taehyun had known Kai ever since he was still wearing shorts uniforms to school, waving around chocolate stained hands, and having weekly nosebleeds that drove all their friends away in fear of ‘contagiousness’. Taehyun was also there when he had this glow up into his current tall, unnecessarily handsome self, who had no idea that he was so attractive that everyone was head over heels with him. 

Everyone, including his best friend who tried hard not to let it show, and had it backfired when Kai really couldn’t see it when he started being a confident gay and dropping hints here and there. 

The last hint he dropped was a pretty obvious one. They had just been having their monthly fancy dinner (because college students couldn’t have a fancy meal every day, so they agreed to do it once a month) at this Italian restaurant where Taehyun suddenly put down his fork and stared at him. 

“My mom has been asking me to bring a date home,” he said, trying to catch Kai’s attention from the pasta he was devouring. “Especially because there’s this birthday party dinner thing next month.”

He was rewarded with a curious hum. “So? Bring one!”

“I haven’t been dating in forever, though.”

“That’s right, I found it weird, actually,” Kai finally stopped eating now that his full attention was on the topic. He stared at his friend; his eyebrows were drawn together, yet he didn’t seem to have any clue drawn on his face. 

It’s always hard to figure out what’s in the guy’s head. He looked all anguished as if he’s going through some late teenager crisis and he could only be thinking about how to make a pancake with no eggs. 

“It’s not that weird. The internship kicked my ass, and I only got time to hang out with you.”

“So that’s the problem.”

“It’s not,” Taehyun said quickly. “My mom likes you anyway. And you know me better than anyone does, so I think… you know what I mean?”

Kai blinked at him. His eyes stared at him in their perpetually dreamy state. It’s one that always made the guy look sleepy, yet also devastatingly charming. It’s one of the many things that made Taehyun realize that he had always liked his best friend even before he learned the meaning of crush itself. 

So he had to take his chances. Before the dreamy eyes started looking at someone else. 

“I think we should go out.”

It took one, two, three seconds for the realization to click in Kai’s face, and then he smiled brightly. His fist hit his own palm in a brief eureka moment.

“That’s it! We should start going out, Taehyunnie,” Kai said. The excitement in his voice almost made Taehyun blush, just from how he sounded just as receptive to it as he did. And then the next thing he said just had to burst the little bubble he was floating on. “Since I know you the best, I can find the perfect partner for you.”

It was Taehyun’s turn to sit there in silence and try to proceed with his best friend’s words. It was amazing how Kai’s brain worked, to arrange the pieces of Taehyun’s words into a whole new narrative. He would find it fascinating any other day, but not this time. Not when he was so close to confessing his feelings.

“I can use my connections to find some friends who would be perfect as your date, and then we can go on dates together! Or, I can just sit far away and come into your rescue whenever you think it’s bad enough. It’s like in some movies!”

Except in those rom-coms Kai must have watched, the set-up date or blind date would be a meetcute between the main characters and then they lived happily ever after, 

That’s not what Taehyun wanted when he opened this conversation.

But Kai looked way too happy now, already creating a set of plans while shoving more desserts into his mouth. The whole magical vibe of what could be their very first date dissipated into the air, and Taehyun, being the lovesick puppy he was, just sat there and stared as his best friend planned a whole dating plan for him. 

==

The first set-up date was okay. 

Kai let him tag along on this little hangout with his theatre club friends at first. They planned the meeting at this bowling alley, a small group of fun people that Taehyun immediately got along with. Taehyun was unsuspecting about the scheme, until they reached the end of the game and Kai dragged him away from the group.

“Okay, you saw Yeonjun hyung, right?” Kai said, looking a little too excited.

“He is right there ,” Taehyun gestured towards the lanes with his chin. A pink haired male was cheering and jumping up in the air, not really hard to miss. 

“He’s your date for the day!”

It took a moment for the information to click in Taehyun’s head. He stood there in silence, watching his best friend looking at him with giddiness glittering in his eyes. The look in his face was exactly the same as the first time he came up with the idea of planning dates for Taehyun, and that’s how the fear set in. 

“No way! You didn’t tell me anything about it! I’m only here for bowling and karaoke,” he tried to protest.

“I didn’t? I already told Yeonjun hyung though,” Kai pondered with a thoughtful hum, making Taehyun’s jaw drop even more. The audacity of this guy to tell the other guy and not him. “Oh well, he’s a nice guy, Taehyunnie! I’m sure you’ll like him, but if you don’t, then you can call me to save you.”

He was ready to argue some more, but there was another loud cheer from the group. The game had ended. Kai gave him a last grin before running back to join the group, rubbing the back of his nape seeing that his team had lost. 

While his attention was fixed on Kai (a natural reaction to the brightness of his smile, as always), he didn’t realize the said pink haired male already seated next to him. He almost jumped to the high ceiling of the bowling alley when his voice broke his trance. 

“We should leave now.”

“Huh?”

Yeonjun tilted his head to a side. “Aren’t you my date?”

“Well yeah, but—“

“Time to go!” 

The senior hopped up on his feet just as the group was discussing which karaoke room in the neighbourhood to visit. He bid them goodbye, saying something about having some important business with ‘ Kai’s tiny friend’ . Before Taehyun could say anything about that comment, he was being tugged along. The sound of Yeonjun’s laughter tinkling close to his ear as someone yelled about having to pay for their share, but they changed into their shoes in no time and disappeared from there.

Even once they were alone, Taehyun was still rendered speechless. It might have something to do with the fact that he was on a date with this very attractive senior who exuded charms with every breath he took. 

Taehyun might be in love with his best friend, but Choi Yeonjun was objectively a beautiful man.

Besides, there was something about him that reminded him of Kai. As someone who had known the other for more than half his life, he had memorized everything about his best friend, so it was puzzling that someone with a similar personality showed up right under his nose. Was it the way he brought himself? Or the similar liking to unfunny jokes that made Taehyun stare in silence?

“I know that we’re on a date, but I didn’t know that you’d actually fall in love with me,”

Taehyun sputtered, almost losing his grip on his gun. The big screen ahead of them flashing with a game over on his side while Yeonjun was still going eagerly, shooting the zombies coming for them.

“I’m not,” he deadpanned, slotting the playing gun back on its place. “You just reminded me of someone.”

“Someone you like? You smiled thinking about them.”

He had to take a deep breath to not give away on how close to home the statement hit. 

“You’re making a brave accusation, sunbaenim.”

“Call me hyung,” Yeonjun said, cursing under his breath when he died in the game. He faced the other once he put the gun away as well. “Also, I’m a psychology major. I can read minds.”

Taehyun stared at him. “Really?”

“Just kidding, we are not some supernatural beings. Anyway, since we have established the fact that you don’t like me, let’s just have fun today!” 

The pink haired male was already moving to another game machine after saying that, excited to play all the games in the arcade. And it was actually fun, especially with how competitive they both were, that the games felt more challenging than ever. Only halfway through the date that Taehyun found out Yeonjun only agreed to the date to make Kai take up the main role for their next project. 

“So, you’re actually not looking for a date? This is just a gratitude date?” Taehyun asked in the midst of their basketball game.

“I do, but I prefer things to fall into place naturally, you know?” 

Their discussion was interrupted by the loud whistling sound signalling the end of the game, and Yeonjun cheered seeing that his score was higher than the other’s. They played the basketball game several more times until they ran out of coins, and then Yeonjun finally brought up the topic again at the end. Sweat dotting his hairline, swiped up by a hand brushing his hair off his face.

“Let’s say, if we end up liking each other naturally, I don’t see why this can’t be an actual date?”

For a moment, Taehyun wasn’t sure if he should be feeling excited about the possibility, or scared. When he let Kai go on with his plans to find him a date, he never considered another presence joining them. 

In his present and future, he could only see himself and Kai. 

Fortunately, there was nothing much to be scared about, as not twenty minutes after the statement, Taehyun had to call Kai over. The boy sounded dejected about having to leave the karaoke session before he could get one more turn, but he looked concerned when he ran towards the two, who had a staring battle in the middle of a basketball court. 

“What’s wrong?” Kai asked, out of breath. His gaze switched from the senior, and then to his best friend, curious. 

“We kept beating each other at the basketball machine game, so we’re here to settle the score, right Taehyunnie?” Yeonjun said with a small grin, but his eyes never left the other male. 

“Yeah, but this hyung here just won’t stop cheating!”

“It’s not cheating when you can’t protect the ball on your own!”

“Ugh, whatever,” Taehyun rolled his eyes, finally looking at Kai who was still standing there dumbfounded. “We need you to watch and be a referee.”

“ What? ”

That was absolutely not how Kai expected the date to turn out. 

The sun had started to set after the third round of this death match, and Yeonjun had to leave for his part time job, so they agreed to settle the score another day. In Taehyun’s opinion, it was very fun. The best kind of date despite the lack of romantic feeling blossoming between them. 

Apparently, just getting along well wasn’t enough for Kai. 

He wasn’t the one who played in the match, but he looked so tired as he lay down on the dirty court. Taehyun squatted down, watching as his eyelashes fluttered against his cheek, illuminated by the orange light from the setting sun. 

“I should’ve listened to you. It ended so badly.”

Taehyun cocked his head to a side. “It was pretty fun actually.”

“You two almost killed each other and that was fun? ”

He wanted to argue that it really didn’t look that way, but he just let the latter beat himself up over the failed date, annoying him by poking his cheek with a finger. 

Kai hissed, taking Taehyun’s date and almost made the male’s heart stop for a beat, until he heard what he had to say. 

“Next time, you have to call me at the first sign of the date going bad, okay? Or give me a sign, if I’m around there somewhere.”

“There’s a next time?” he asked incredulously, almost yelling it if only he didn’t catch himself at the last second. “ Why ?”

“We can never find someone for you if we give up after failing once!”

Taehyun resisted the urge to facepalm when the smile came back to Kai’s face. He was excited again, pulling himself up and calling over to Taehyun so they could have their own little hangout now that it’s just the two of them again. 

Seeing him this positive about the whole thing, Taehyun didn’t have the heart to tell him that everything he ever wanted was already right there. Just the two of them and their not-dates.

==

They applied the new ‘rule’ on the second set-up date. 

It was a double date this time. Kai had set up a dinner meeting at this one café with two girls from the business department. At least it was not someone Taehyun knew in person, because they looked really nice, and he could already see this date ending badly. Not because he wasn’t interested in the topic laid on the table, but he just couldn’t shift his focus from Kai. 

A habit. Almost natural. 

Kai was in the middle of a debate with his date about the superior one between sweet and salty food when Chanmi engaged him in an unexpected conversation.

“I looked up our charts and our venus signs don’t go too well together,” she said, piquing his interest. “This is fun and all, and I wanted to give it a chance since we already agreed on a date, but I’m just providing a reason, for when it doesn’t work out in the end.”

“You’re so sure that it won’t work out, but what if I want to prove you otherwise?” His competitive nature rose up from deep sleep again. He might have to do something to keep it in check during these dates. 

“That’s actually charming,” Chanmi smiles. “Let’s see how well you can do it then.”

But it didn’t work out, Taehyun already knew it from the beginning, and confirmed it further the moment he saw the spark between Chanmi and her friend when they talked. It was almost like seeing a copy of him and Kai, except the two were not in a one-sided pining. Still, it was clear that being there under the mask of a ‘date’ was not doing any of them a favour. 

So, he kicked Kai under the table. 

The male jolted up on his seat, gaining the attention of the two before he grinned shyly, only glaring at Taehyun when they turned away again. 

Taehyun tried to send a signal through his eyes, but he ended up just typing them through texts. A secret message under the dining table, which must be full of typos seeing that he didn’t bother to check after typing the short text. Kai got it anyway. It clicked in his eyes, before his face suddenly morphed in an agonized look.

“Uh, I think I ate something I shouldn’t.”

“Are you having an allergic reaction? Food poisoning?” Heejin said, concerned. 

“Just not reacting well when it comes to certain food. Seafood, haha.”

“You had meatballs on your pasta.”

“Oh right, also meat! That must be it. I think I have to go…”

He managed to complete his act, even dragging Taehyun under the pretense of not being able to walk properly. Taehyun had to let him lean against his smaller frame, an arm wrapped around Kai’s waist as he dragged the guy out from the café. 

“Your acting needs some polishing,” he commented under his breath. “I can’t believe you’re the main for the next play.”

Kai complained, leaning more weight onto his friend as a kind of punishment for the statement. “It was a very convincing acting!”

==

And then he applied this method too, on the third date at the movie, where it ended in a chaotic note. All because another one of Kai’s ‘convincing’ acting.

The only consolation comes in the form of a phone call in the middle of the night, when Taehyun is already burrowed under his blanket, almost falling asleep.

“What do you want?” he asks, voice a mere whisper. 

“Want to say sorry, for the failed date,” says Kai from the other line, instantly bringing a sleepy smile to Taehyun’s face. 

“You caused the failure though, my ex.”

A soft laughter tickles his ear, carried all the way into his bedroom and filling it with warmth. Kai always has that effect on his surroundings even though he’s not around physically. A little ball of sunshine. 

“I’ll buy your favourite coffee tomorrow, okay? Compensation.”

“Kai-ya,” Taehyun calls out instead, couldn’t care less about the coffee.

“Hm?”

“Why are you doing this for me? It doesn’t even concern you, but you spent so much time arranging these dates for me.”

There’s a pause, and Taehyun is almost lulled into sleep from the sound of Kai’s even breathing.

“I just want you to be happy. And your mom, since she always gives me cookies when I come visit. But mostly you.”

Not a perfect answer, but it brings a smile to Taehyun’s lips for the rest of the night, even after the other has hung up the call. He feels so warm and content, that his sleepy brain invented a dangerous thought. 

That it’s okay to be like this, going to stupid dates and failing, as long as things would stay this way with Kai. 

==

He almost regrets his half-asleep statement the next time Kai planned a date for him.

The whole dating thing was almost forgotten. Two weeks had gone by without any mention of set-up dates, which is not much of a wonder seeing how Kai has been swamped by his club activities and project deadlines. 

It’s lonely, and even more when every little time they get to see each other, it’s not about Taehyun and Huening Kai anymore. It’s always about a discussion on why the dates ended in failure and future planning about the matter.

It’s always out of the blue. 

Take this time, for example. They were eating waffles and talking about the new opening of this anime when he went quiet for a moment. The next thing that came out of his mouth was the question, which only makes Taehyun roll his eyes.

“I always claim that I knew everything about you, but apparently I don’t know much about your taste in a date.”

“Does it matter much?”

“It does!” Kai says, tugging on the sleeve of his friend’s jacket as he’s about to get up to leave. “Wait. The only thing I knew was that you’d date boys or girls. That’s why I can’t find a perfect date for you!”

“And what’s your solution?”

“You have to tell me your ideal kind of date!”

Taehyun stares at him with a blank look on his face. There’s no way he can tell the other that he doesn’t want any other boy or girl, nor does he have any picture of an ideal date with a random person. He wants Kai . 

So he just spills anything that pops out first in his head.

“I want someone who meets me on the balcony and reads me a beautiful poem, and then asks me to run away with them.”

He really, really , does not think that Kai would take it seriously, even as the guy has such a serious look in his face when he processes the information. After all, it’s just a reference from this old, popular play, which Taehyun hates . Kai definitely knows how much Taehyun hates the romantic development in Romeo and Juliet. 

Except, it’s Huening Kai we are talking about. 

The one thing about Kai that makes Taehyun fall for him is his ability to surprise him. He always has these ideas that no one else would think about, which leads to so many of Taehyun’s firsts. This endearing detail about him makes Taehyun plot out a thousand ways to run away from his date just to give a headlock to the clueless and smiling best friend who sits a few tables away.

Kai even has the audacity to give a thumbs-up at his way, grinning brightly when Taehyun glares at him. 

The reason would be this senior who’s sitting across of him at his favourite ice cream place, who kindly explained on why this date happened in the first place:

“Kai went to me and was like ‘ sunbaenim, you’re a Pisces and a literature major, so you wrote poems, right? I have a perfect date for you !’ and I was like hmm why not! Turns out he was talking about you, Taehyunnie!” 

And it’s fine. It might even be funny if it’s any other attractive Pisces guy from the literature major. The biggest problem here is that the guy is none other than Choi Beomgyu, who’s now happily eating his ice cream. He makes this look like the first time he had fun in forever, that Taehyun doesn’t have the heart to burst his bubbles.

Even though he knows that Beomgyu is supposed to be his roommate’s boyfriend, and he shouldn’t be on a date even if he knew that it was with Taehyun. 

It’s not until their second cups of ice cream that they decide to end the pretend date and address the elephant in the room. Beomgyu hums around his spoonful of strawberry ice cream when Taehyun brings up his roommate. 

The change in the air is subtle, almost unnoticeable. It goes from its former lighthearted and fun atmosphere into a darkened version of it as a solemn mood crosses Beomgyu’s eyes for a split second, just before he tries to laugh it off. 

“Well, we are on a break,” he says, an unmistakable tremble on his lower lip can be seen just before he smiles weakly. “What is a break anyway? It’s like, an incomplete version of a break-up, I guess? Just thinking that hanging out with someone would make me stop thinking about it.”

“Did you regret agreeing to this? I mean, I’m his roommate, so…”

“I’m glad it’s you, actually,” the elder says, resting his chin on top of his palm as he visibly relaxes. “It’s not like I came here expecting to fall in love with someone else.”

“That’s a relief.”

It actually is. A relief. 

He hasn’t got to meet Choi Beomgyu often, but this is also the person who drew the flowers around Soobin when he comes home at night, or the one who dragged his roommate out of the confinement of their suffocating place, and brought summer to the winter that he hated. The guy was once his friend’s happiness. That fact doesn’t change even if they’re going through something ugly right now. 

“So, it’s Kai. The person you guys talked about last time when I was asleep.”

“Huh?”

“The person you liked.”

Taehyun breaks into a fit of cough on the back of his palm. The icy sweet makes its way down his throat rather painfully, thankfully on the right track. “ What ?”

“Are you sure he really isn’t aware of it, though? I mean, you’re kinda obvious,” Beomgyu says, giving him a look when Taehyun looks at him curiously. “You keep glancing towards his seat. If you’re doing this with an attractive guy like me around, what more when it’s just the two of you?”

“Uncalled for.”

With a laugh, Beomgyu extends his hand across the table. His fingers are beckoning for him until Taehyun gets it and places his hand on top of the offered palm. Once it’s there, the fingers engulfed him in a tight lock, not letting go. 

“Maybe for once, you can let a date be a successful one and see how he reacts later on,” singsongs his date, already scooping the ice cream into his mouth again. The playful demeanour is back now, and he looks like he’s enjoying himself. 

“What’s the point, though?” Taehyun frowns. 

“Time to see if he will get jealous and realize that he doesn’t actually want you to date someone else!”

It doesn’t sit well with him, the thought about testing his best friend like this. Especially because 1) there is no way Kai thinks that way about him, and 2) even if he did, it won’t be right to play with his feelings. 

Their hands stay locked on top of the table, nonetheless. 

Taehyun can’t ignore the itch that makes him resort to this, especially not after he spent too many nights wondering if Kai was actually not that clueless about his feelings. What if it was because he simply didn’t feel the same; that he decided to find someone else for Taehyun just so their friendship won’t be reduced into a tangled mess?

This is also the reason why Taehyun hesitated for years and years, until now. 

The thought has been bugging him, making itself at home inside Taehyun’s chest cavity and constricting his lungs whenever he thinks about the other. Love is so overrated. He only felt happiness with Kai until he realized he fell in love with his best friend, and everything went haywire. 

Sighing, he sets his cup away and drops his head on top of extended arm, obscuring his face from view. 

“What if he really didn’t have any feelings for me, though? “

Silence falls upon them for a moment. He would’ve assumed that Beomgyu’s already leaving if only it’s not for the feeling of warmth from the elder’s hand transferred onto his skin. He can only breathe again when Beomgyu gives him the answer:

“Then, it’d be a good time to move on.”

An intake of breath that fills his lungs with ice. 

The date – despite being less than a date and more of talking about Taehyun’s crush – ends up being the longest one out of the four. Taehyun didn’t notice that Kai had left his table until he lifted his head again. The sight of Kai’s empty seat makes his heart lurch. The guy doesn’t even care to stay, let alone get jealous.

Beomgyu’s intention is good, but he is wrong.

After bidding farewell to the hyung, he makes his way to where Kai had parked his motorbike earlier in the night. It’s already deserted aside from one familiar bike, with his best friend perched on top of it, scrolling down his phone. 

“You’re still here,” Taehyun announces his presence. 

It takes three seconds too long before Kai acknowledges him, smiling as he looks up. “It went well, huh? See, if you had told me your type since the beginning, I can find someone who’s just right for you!”

A bitter smile spreads over Taehyun’s lips at that. “I guess. Beomgyu hyung is nice.”

“He is, isn’t he? Must have been so fun that you didn’t check your phone even once.”

Now, that makes him frown, reaching for his phone to unlock it, seeing Kai’s messages that questioned if he wants to be saved from a bad date, or to rate the date in general. Seven messages in total; all while Taehyun was having a heart-to-heart talk about the guy to his date. 

 “You were expecting the date to fail?” Taehyun frowns. 

“No! Of course not. It’s just a little weird now that we found someone else who can make you this happy. The other dates, I could handle, but I haven’t thought much about what I’d do when you actually met someone you like,” Kai hums to himself, lost in thought for a few painful seconds until he smiles again. “Well, that’s not my business anymore. Let’s get you home!”

The helmet is shoved to Taehyun’s arms, but he stays frozen there. He is looking at the latter with an incredulous gaze. His eyebrows knitted together as his fists balled on either side of the helmet. 

“What the fuck?” that’s the only thing that escaped his lips at first, which gains him Kai’s attention back. The smile slowly fades from the other’s lips as well. 

“Tae—“

“You don’t have the right to—you can’t just set me up on dates and complain when they fail, AND complain again when it’s working out. What do you really want, Huening Kai?”

A flash of panic crosses Kai’s eyes. It must be alarming, since Taehyun never calls him by his full name unless he is actually mad about something. And they hadn’t had an actual fight since the first grade of high school.

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just not used to seeing someone else taking my spot next to you, but you’re happy, so that’s what matters, right?” 

It takes everything for Taehyun not to throw the helmet at his best friend’s face. Sometimes, best friends do have to punch each other to release some brotherly tension between them, but he never sees Kai as a brother. He wants Kai to see him.

“If you don’t like it then don’t put them next to me!” Taehyun is surprised to hear his own voice echoing through the empty parking lot. “Why is it so hard for you to just ask me out instead of finding someone else to do it?”

“You want to…” Kai breathes out, before his eyes widened in realization. “You wanted me to?”

“Shut up, you don’t get to ask that now. You-“

“You wanted to date me?” 

“And I thought as my best friend, you’d know that I don’t want someone to read me a poem or do romantic shit to me. I only need that person who picked up a guitar too big for his body, just to create that silly song about s’mores when I got homesick during a camp!”

For once, Kai is at loss of words. Taehyun is running out of breath by the time he finishes speaking, and only now does he feel the tears of frustration prickling on his eyes. He curses softly, shoving the helmet back to Kai’s chest. 

“I really don’t want to see your stupid face right now,” he exhales shakily, ignoring his best friend’s call of his name as he turns around to go. He didn’t remember much, lightheaded after yelling too much and adrenaline coursing through his veins. The last thing he remembers is him shouting at Kai to not follow him before he breaks into a run. 

==

It had to be the four scoops of ice cream he had that caused the rest of that night to be nothing but blurry images in his head. It’s definitely not because he had yelled too much and gotten so angry, his brain decided to censor the memories. Not at all. 

Or maybe his will power is just strong enough to the point that he can erase his own memories. 

The last option is the most likely one, seeing how he avoids anything about that night for the rest of the semester until the next break. He avoided any mention of dates, ice cream, Beomgyu, or Huening Kai. It’s pretty easy, when everyone is minding their own business during exam weeks, too busy cramming and crying because of project deadlines.

It’s not until Taehyun goes home for the mid-term break that he allows himself to reflect.

“Beomgyu hyung took me home? Good. Less chance of me doing anything stupid on the way home.”

He’s lying down on the floor of his bedroom, letting the coldness of the floor press against his back and through the fabric of his shirt. The phone is on top of his chest, connected on a call with Soobin, who is staying back at their shared apartment. 

“ You’ve done all the stupid things before going home anyway ,” chimes in his very unhelpful roommate.

“They’re not stupid! I’ve said all the things I wanted to say.”

“ Except the fact that you’ve been in love with him, like explicitly ?”

“Ugh,” he throws his arm over his face, shoving his phone away that it clatters onto the floor, as if it had the same effect of shoving Soobin away despite him not being here physically. “You weren’t even there, so you can’t judge.”

“ Gyu told me everything .”

Taehyun bites his lip, refraining from asking a question about whether they have made up. The answer is already obvious, judging from the lack of honey dripping from the hyung’s voice when he mentions Beomgyu, unlike any other time in the past. Too soon.

“What do I do now? I ended up doing the things I was scared of,” he starts speaking again, his voice more solemn now. “Imagine finding out that your best friend has been in love with you and you don’t feel the same. He must be so uncomfortable.”

There’s a prolonged silence from the other line, followed by a frustrated sigh. “ Taehyun, I swear, you didn’t really listen to him—“

Before Soobin can accuse him so much, there is a sound of something hitting the glass of his bedroom’s window. He looks up, alarmed, only to spot a crack on the glossy surface of the glass. Spiderwebs spreading from the surface.

“What the fuck?” he jolts up.

“ What—what is it?”

“I think some kids are out there breaking windows. Is this a new tiktok trend these days? I’ll make them pay,” he hisses, telling his roommate that he will call again later once he settled this problem. 

Once he hangs up, he gets up onto his feet and rushes up to the balcony. 

It’s not much of a balcony. Not like a space where you can sit and lounge outside. It’s just a tiny space that’s basically a bracket for his window so Hobak can’t jump off from the second floor. From this height, he can still see the culprit if they haven’t run far enough.

The culprit is still there. But the words died down in his throat before he could yell his complaints to the man standing in his garden. 

That’s right. His bedroom does not face the street like his apartment room. It’s facing the garden. 

Someone is in his garden, and it’s none other than Huening Kai, who is now holding a bigger stone than the one he threw earlier. 

“Don’t throw that!” he yells, eyes bulging as he tries to process what's happening right now. Huening Kai is in his parents’ house, breaking his window. “You know that usually people throw smaller rocks, right?”

Kai grins innocently at him, waving the stone. “You only have big rocks in your garden!”

“It’s my mom’s garden! Oh my god, get out of there!” 

He stops yelling at this point, lowering his volume into a hushed voice because the garden is so close to where the kitchen is and he knows that his family is there. He was on the call with Soobin to kill time while waiting for his dad’s birthday dinner to be ready, and they had invited some relatives over.

If Kai is going to do what he is suspecting, with the way he is carrying a guitar and everything…

“It’s okay, just stay there and listen,” he waves, smiling reassuringly before he sits down on a big stone and setting his guitar on his lap.

“I swear to god—“

Before he can prevent it, Kai has already strummed a note. It’s an instrumental tune of that old song from the movie they watched together. Another one that he hated while Kai loved it a lot. It’s definitely that damned “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” song, except he is singing something about s’mores and falling in love with your best friend and not knowing what to do. 

And Taehyun.

It’s just too much for Taehyun, torn in between cringing and loving it because this is Kai, and if he meant what he rewrote on his lyrics, his crush is not one-sided after all. But his whole family might be listening and the song is so corny and he just.

He just maybe fell in love with his best friend all over again. 

Repressing the urge to jump off the balcony and shut his best friend up right there, he clasps a hand over his face, peeking through his fingers as if he’s watching some tragic scene. He stands there, listening to each word, until Kai gets to the last part of the song where he stares right into Taehyun’s eyes. 

“Do you wanna date me?”

That’s it. 

Taehyun turns around on his heel and goes back inside his room, before running down the staircases. His mom is even letting him run on the staircase, so she must have heard what’s happening in her garden, alongside several other pairs of eyes staring at him in confusion as he passed them. He just throws a grin at them. No explanation since he had to do something that he should’ve done for a while. 

The moment he makes it to the garden, Kai has already set the guitar down. A hint of nervous look on his face as he stands there, despite his attempt to smile through it. 

“Sorry about your win—“

“Shut the fuck up, you’re so,” Taehyun runs towards him, seeing him flinch because he probably looks like he’s going to attack the latter. Instead, he throws his whole self at his best friend, letting Kai’s arms catch him as he hugs around his neck, hiding his face. “You can’t do this when I liked you first!”

Kai is dumbfounded at first, but the tension of his body is slowly melting away as his hold tightens around the shorter male. His body shakes slightly as he laughs, the sound so close to Taehyun’s ear, that he can probably kiss it if he turns his head. 

He does turn his head, but just to nuzzle into the side of Taehyun’s face. “Nope. I liked you first.”

“You made me date four different people in the span of a month, there’s no way.”

“I’m only doing that to see them fail, to make sure that they failed. None of them match your personality, or know you like I do,” he says, his voice soft and lulling Taehyun into relaxing. But not enough to calm his heart. “I want you to see that I’m the only one you need.”

“You’re such an idiot.”

“In my defense, you didn’t specify that you wanted to date me when you mentioned the date. It’s only when I called your mom that I realized, since she never asked you to bring a date home.”

Oh . Busted. 

“And I can’t write poems—“

“I already told you that it’s not that!”

“—so I wrote some simple lyrics. I know how much you love that movie,” Kai pulls away, beaming at him in the end. 

“I absolutely hate that movie,” Taehyun smiles back, though with venom dripping from his voice as he says that, just before it softens. “But I like you. A lot. I’ve liked you for a long time and…”

Kai dives in to kiss him on the cheek, nuzzling into it afterwards. He had no idea what it did to Taehyun’s heart and brain, that they stopped working for a split second. All the words he wanted to say evaporated into the air. 

But it doesn’t matter. They have spent forever as best friends, and he can just tell Kai on the next forever they are spending as lovers.

“So yeah, I wanna go on a date with you.”