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Tohru couldn’t seem to fall asleep that night and she didn’t know why.
Maybe it was because her mind was brimming with ideas on how to decorate her room. No, their room. The house that her and Kyo had moved into wasn’t as grand as Shigure’s, but it was all their own. A product of their own endeavors and dreams.
The day had been filled with unpacking, arranging, and laughter. They were so excited about all the possibilities that despite their best efforts, they hadn’t accomplished much. The bustle had left her exhausted and now here she was sleeping next to the man she loved more than anything in the world, wide awake; old and new thoughts mixing together in her head.
She stared at the barren walls of their room trying to imagine what pictures she could hang up, or where to put all her furniture. Most of the items packed away and brought here had been from her old room in Shigure’s house or new furniture that Shisho had given to the two of them. Kyo didn’t have many possessions he wanted to bring, not that he had many possessions at all...
Tohru looked at the way the moonlight hit Kyo’s face through the tattered window. It illuminated his cheeks, revealing a tenderness that normally was hidden from the world. She looked at his orange hair, which seemed more subdued when it wasn’t being lit by the sun. She watched his chest rise and fall along with his breath. Finally, she gazed at his wrist where a faint pale line remains from the beads that bound his destiny for so many years. But that destiny is no more. Now he is here beside her with such a tranquil look on his face that she never thought he would be allowed to possess.
And oh how she loves him.
She loves the way that he gets frustrated whenever Shisho teases him. She loves the way he always makes breakfast for her after his morning run. She loves the way the smallest dimples creep up on his cheek whenever he laughs really hard.
But the thing she loves most of all is how he stays by her side. Even when she feels like she’s being a burden or when her nerves start to creep up on her. Whatever ugly feelings that seem to rise within her, he is always there ready to take her hand and work them out, together.
Tohru thinks of how lucky they are to be able to be next to each other like this. Their bodies close together, taking in each other’s warmth. It seems so natural now, but her mind wanders to dark thoughts of what ifs and missed opportunities. Of how many times they almost missed each other, time and time again. Of what could have happened if she hadn’t worked up the courage to pour out her feelings to Kyo. Of how Kyo almost-
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
Tohru glances up at Kyo now awake but, sleep still barely looming over his eyelids.
“Oh I’m so sorry Kyo! I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Tohru says softly, not wanting to disturb him any further.
“It’s a good thing I did get up,” Kyo says as he moves his hand under her eye to wipe a tear away. “Or else a certain someone would’ve been crying.”
Tohru hadn’t even realized the tears welling up in her eyes. She feels so embarrassed, crying about things that are all in the past now. Especially when there is so much good in the present.
“Are you gonna tell me what made you cry?” Kyo asked her gently. Tohru was about to dismiss it, say that she was reminiscing about the past and that it was nothing to worry about. Yet, the way that Kyo’s gaze landed on her, soft and vulnerable as if it was crafted just for her, made her change her mind. It made her want to be brave.
“....Why didn’t you just tell me?” Tohru asked.
“Tell you what?”
“That you loved me,” Kyo looked stunned by the question, so Tohru quickly elaborated, “Before I confessed to you that is.”
Kyo took a second to process her words, before rolling onto his back and covering his eyes with his harm. Tohru immediately started to worry. She had crossed a boundary just to satisfy her selfish curiosity. Just as she was going to tell him to forget what she said, Kyo let out a shaky breath and spoke:
“Because I couldn’t bear the idea of you choosing to stay with me because of pity or guilt,” Tohru focused in on his words, then grabbed his hand as if to tell him to continue.
“The rational part of me knew that you wouldn’t, cause that’s not who you are,” Kyo went on, “But living life as the cat...it can give you some pretty shitty expectations about what love is supposed to be like. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, only for you to stay by my side because you felt bad.”
“Kyo..” his name fell softly from her lips as if it was the only thing that mattered. She could feel the tears burning up in her eyes, just waiting to fall. He turned back to face her and sighed.
“Jeez, look at me making you cry again. I guess I’m a pretty lousy boyfriend after all.”
Tohru was just about to tell him how wrong he was when she heard a small chuckle escape his lips. He reached his hand over to run it through her hair as he asked, “But what made you go and think about that stuff anyways?”
As usual, he always knew just what to ask her.
“I was just thinking about the past and how many times we almost missed each other. Silly things like that..” Tohru said sheepishly.
“It’s not silly at all. We did miss each other a bunch of times. And if it wasn’t for you and your stubbornness...well I try not to think about that,” Kyo nearly whispered. It’s true though, he thinks. He wishes he could have been as brave as her in that moment she confessed to him. Pouring her heart out for the world to see. It was just another thing that he loved about her.
Tohru inched towards him until their foreheads were touching and she smiled at him in a way that belonged solely for him.
“Thanks Kyo, for everything,” Tohru confessed as she pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, making them both blush. In response, Kyo pulled her close to him, embracing her in a way that would’ve been impossible just a short time ago.
“Silly, it’s me who should be thanking you,” Kyo confessed as he held her. Sleep finally began to sneak up on them both, leaving behind painful memories and clearing the way for new possibilities in this house all their own.