Chapter Text
The first few hours of life on their new world were fascinating for John. He was so busy with exploring the outward physical differences - their skin was much darker, with a grayish sort of tint to it, and they all had horns now! - that he didn't bother trying to go take a few private moments to really look over all the differences. It wasn't until Dave said something about how much more comfortable he was in his new body than in his old one that he thought something else might be going on.
Still, there was no reason to worry! Whatever it was, it couldn't have been all that big of a deal. John waited until the others were settled firmly in their own respective houses or hives before looking in the mirror for himself.
Shirtless, he couldn't tell too much of a difference. He still had nipples! Not that nipples on a guy ever did anything, but still. It wasn't until he pulled off his pants that he noticed the biggest difference. No belly button! That was certainly new. But when his eyes dropped lower, he froze. At first, he wasn't entirely sure what to make of what he saw; between his legs was a weird bulge that looked for all the world like a fleshy sports cup, except, upon closer examination, there was a slit at the top. What in the world was this?
Tentatively, he poked at the slit with one finger and nearly jumped back in shock when these little wiggling things slipped out and tried to wrap around it. Oh god what the hell?! Were these somehow a part of him? He watched in no small amount of horror as the little tentacles (for lack of a better word) wound around his finger, too shocked to do anything. The sensation was utterly alien to him, even if it did feel kind of nice. In a weird way.
The feeling definitely confirmed it, though. Those little things were part of him. He snatched his finger back (whoa, that's really, really weird) and they retreated back into what he could only now assume was what Karkat called his "bone-bulge." He'd probably have to ask about that.
At this point, John was almost afraid to see if there were any further differences he should know about, but he decided that he was already committed to it. Making a mildly disgusted face, he let his hand skate over the bulgey-thingy and down further between his legs. He hissed in surprise when he felt his fingers brush against something else, something warm that felt kind of nice when he rubbed it gently, but oh my god fingers should not go inside your body no matter how nice it feels!
He fell on his ass this time as he jumped back from the mirror, his face the picture of abject horror. Dear god, what the hell was that? Why did he even have that? Sure, it felt kind of nice, maybe even nicer than the tentacle thingies, but guys weren't supposed to have those! At least, human guys didn't have those! He tried to probe between his legs again, just to confirm what was there, but found that he couldn't make his hand go past his bone-bulge. Instead, he sat on the floor, shaking and disgusted.
Dave had to have been pulling his leg about liking this better, he just had to. There was no way anyone in their right mind would feel more comfortable like this. He'd have to have a talk with the other humans in the morning and see what their reactions were.
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John had slept pretty fitfully, but when he went to meet up with his friends and discuss his weird new body, all the trolls were there too, chatting about survival stuff. He couldn't just pull all of them away at once! Dave. Dave would have to be the one to start with. This was just a prank after all, right?
"Hey, Dave, can I talk to you alone for a few minutes?"
Dave glanced up, face completely unreadable (as usual), and shrugged. "Sure. Don't see why not." It was still a little odd to see him with darker hair and skin, but at least his mannerisms hadn't changed. He strolled over to meet John, hands in pockets. "'Sup, Egbert?"
Suddenly, John felt tense. How do you ask your best bro about what's going on in his pants? There was no good way to broach the subject, at least not that he could find. He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt and toed at the ground. "Hey, um..." He took a deep breath. Best to just get it over with. "Hey, Dave, I know you're my bro and everything, but I really didn't appreciate that prank you played on me last night. It was pretty much the least cool thing ever."
Dave shrugged one shoulder, making a non-committal noise. "Dunno what you're talking about, John."
"You know," John said, a little more vehemently than he'd intended. "Wh-when you said you were more comfortable like this. I figured that meant not much had changed, but everything's really... um, really weird now! And I'm definitely not okay with it."
Something in Dave's posture seemed to change, and the coolkid took his hands out of his pockets to set a hand on John's shoulder. "Sorry, man. I wish I could write it off as some sort of irony or a prank, but I meant it. I didn't wanna say anything, because it was really embarrassing, but I wasn't born a guy. Head didn't match up with the parts, and even having freaky alien tentacles for a dick is better than not having one at all."
He lifted up his sunglasses and rubbed at his eyes, his breath hitching slightly before starting to even back out. "I'm sorry you're freaked out, man. I know how you feel. But you're still a guy, okay? You're still you. Just... try to remember that, okay?"
All John could do was stare. He'd heard Dave's words, certainly, but he was not entirely sure his brain was processing them correctly. What in the world had he meant by not being born a guy? John had been relatively sure that Dave was about the coolest guy he'd ever known. It just didn't make sense. "I'm not sure what you're saying," he said at last.
"I'm saying I was born with lady parts when my brain said I'm a dude, Egbert. I'm a transsexual. Or was. I don't think there's any real difference between guys and girls now."
"Wait, you what?" Dave's words finally sank in, and John couldn't help but feel both surprise (because it was Dave) and a stab of betrayal (because he'd thought Dave was his best friend). "When did that happen?" he asked, his mouth getting a little ahead of his brain. At Dave's chilly look, he felt his face flush, and he dropped his eyes. "Sorry, stupid question. But, I mean, why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you trust me?"
Dave shrugged, shoving his hands back in his pockets and very pointedly looking away from John. "I trust you, John. It wasn't about that. It's just not the kind of thing I thought was all that important. Before now, we only ever knew each other online. What parts you got or don't got don't really matter on the internet, do they?"
"I... I guess that's true," said John, still not looking up at his friend. Still, he felt a little hurt, even though Dave was right. "No, I mean, you're right. So I guess you really understand this. Um, a lot."
Dave nodded and wrapped an arm around John's shoulder. "S'alright, man. Just remember what I said. You're still you. You're still a guy, no matter what freaky alien junk you got down there now."
"Y-yeah." John nodded, though he wasn't quite convinced. "You're right. I'm still me!" He tried to smile reassuringly, but his lips caught on his weirdly pointy teeth (wow, having buck teeth really sucks now) and he hissed instead. "Ow. This stinks."
"Sure does. It's still better than how I was before. Come on, let's get back with the rest of the group before Karkat has an aneurysm." Dave nodded towards the rest of the group, and started heading back on his own.
For a few moments, John stood by himself. This had definitely not been what he'd planned for when they won the game together with their troll friends. And he definitely didn't have any other choices. Feeling a little defeated (and maybe a lot awkward), he shuffled back toward the group. It was going to be a long day.