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“You know I don’t like video games, Merlin! I don’t see why we can’t do something else today!”
“Arthur, I played football with you and your mates last weekend. Football! So you can play freaking Mario Kart with me today!”
“I’ve never even played this game before! I don’t know what all these buttons mean, Merlin!”
“Don’t worry, it’s really easy to get the hang of, and we’re going to have so much fun, I promise!” Merlin turned on the Wii, taking the time that his back was turned to hide a devious smirk. He composed himself, assuming the perfect persona of innocence as he handed Arthur a controller and set up the game. Merlin picked their characters and helped Arthur choose a kart. He didn’t even trick him into picking a motorbike for the first time. He wasn’t that mean.
“Do you want to pick the first track?” Merlin offered strategically.
“No, just pick something easy for the first go.” Arthur replied, barely paying attention as he grabbed a soda from the nearby mini fridge. Just as planned. Merlin casually selected the Special Cup, and scrolled down to Rainbow Road. As the three second count down began, Merlin graciously took the time to explain how to play to Arthur.
“Okay just remember press 2 to go, 1 for reverse, turn the remote to steer, B button to use the box thingies.” He rushed out, some of the words jumbling together as Merlin made sure to hit the gas when the countdown got to 2, so that he could get the secret speed boost. “
Wha-“ Arthur struggled not to spit out his drink, and fumbled for his controller, pressing the button he thought was the gas while his eyes watered and throat burned from the soda. His kart immediately sped backwards off the track and fell into space.
Arthur slowly turned to look wide-eyed at Merlin, who was giggling like a mad man, sides heaving, shoulders shaking, but somehow his grip on the controller was still steady, and glancing at the T.V. Arthur saw that Merlin was already in first place. And he noticed his character was somehow alive again! Arthur began smashing buttons furiously, cursing all the while, damning the game, his character, and especially his conniving boyfriend.
An hour later, and Arthur had finally mastered driving in the correct direction, but could not for the life of him catch up to Merlin, who actually fell back intentionally to shoot those damned mystery box things at Arthur.
“Goddamnit Merlin!! I WAS ABOUT TO BE IN 9TH PLACE, AND NOW WHERE AM I? FUCKING 12TH AGAIN!” Arthur was losing it. He was going ape shit over this game, and he couldn’t calm down. Mario Kart was serious.
Merlin laughed crazily, gripping his controller so tightly his palms were red and sweaty. He had maneuvered his kart right behind Arthur’s, and with one more burst of speed- “FUCKING YES, SPIN LIKE A BALLERINA, BITCH!” Merlin screeched, just as Arthur wailed, “WHAT THE HELL MERLIN, THAT’S THE THIRD FUCKING GREEN SHELL YOU’VE HIT ME WITH!” Finally regaining control of the little car on screen, Arthur continued to mutter, “How the hell are you even aiming those things anyway, you prat.”
Merlin sped up, weaving in and out of the other karts on the screen, and turned to Arthur saying, “Because I’m fucking magical,” right as he drove across the finish line in first place.
Arthur just put his head in his hands and gave up. There was no way he could win; the universe must be plotting against him. “That was NOT ‘easy to get the hang of’ Merlin, you lying twat.”
“Don’t be a sore loser! I wish I had recorded your face on Rainbow Road…” Merlin trailed off in chuckles, only stopping at Arthur’s sour look.
“Okay, okay princess, let’s go to the bedroom and I’ll make it up to you,” Merlin said, taking Arthur by the hand and leading him toward the hallway. Arthur wasn’t really angry; he just expected a rematch in the future. But he was willing to let Merlin make it up to him anyways; his boyfriend wasn’t the only one who could be devious.
“You were a princess too, Merlin, or should I say, Peach?” Arthur shot back, although he followed Merlin willingly enough.
“Oooh, kinky. Now, shut up and fuck me, Daisy.”