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He awakes to the sunlight, to sleep-musty sheets and a familiar weight by his side.
Sauli waits for the other shoe to drop, because this is just too good. Too good to be real, too good to happen to him, too good to last.
Does he believe in karma? If he didn't before, now he does, because the chances of him being here at this moment, lying beside Adam? Are so ridiculously small, so fantastic, that it borders those fantasy stories that the fans write on Adam and Tommy. This what they have is going unbelievably fast. Sauli thinks that he fell in love right then the first night they met, just a little bit, but does that really count? Everyone in the same room falls a little bit in love with Adam, every day.
Sauli had always thought that describing someone as a "good person" was just a figure of speech that had something to do with traditional values and whatnot. But in Adam, Sauli sees a honestly good, pure man.
Adam is one of those persons whose charisma filled the room when he entered. He gathers looks; people swerve towards him, and Adam's interest towards them made them feel good. Everyone wants to talk with Adam, for Adam to notice them. Sauli is sure that this isn't just a fame thing; it's a charisma thing. Sauli might be one of those people that everyone likes to have in their parties; Adam was one of those who made it party, just by coming in. And still, when Adam steps in, he'd always notices Sauli at once. Adam hones to Sauli, making Sauli feel like he would be the sun centre of the party. Adam's gaze can do that.
When there are just the two of them, Adam is never larger than life. He doesn't have to, and he doesn't want to. He is just a dude who sneaks to the freezer to get that third scoop of ice cream, and who thinks that painting his boyfriend gold, James Bond style, would be a nifty idea. Sauli loves to give Adam that freedom to be anything he liked, or to not be anything particular, when he is with him.
He moves to get up, but Adam mumbles something and wraps his arm around Sauli's waist. Oh well. He decides on indulging on the leisurely morning and his hibernating boyfriend.
Sauli loves Adam's pure joy of discovery, whether it is a new, sometimes hideous purchase, a new song or a new friend. He never says I have enough, why bother to seek more. Sauli still doesn't understand how a person can, simultaneously, still make spectacular twitter fails and be poor at basic spelling and math, and then be so utterly magnificent and professional when it comes to the things that mattered to him.
Sauli loved to see the super focused professional the times that he had visited and seen glimpses of production, management meetings and interview preparation. It's hard to believe that this is the same person who makes ridiculous fashion choices, leaves his groceries to rot in the fridge and loves to play dress up.
Adam is just lovable. A joy to be with, easy to love, even easy to put on a pedestal. But Sauli isn't a person who falls in love only because someone is easy to fall in love with, or because the someone has noticed him back. Being on Adam's focus is flattering, sure, but it's not enough. Sauli wants to think that his love, their love, is the most real, without the fucking pedestals for either of them.
In Sauli's company, Adam never has act happier than he actually is, or more interested, more impressed, more patient and less tired than what he actually is. Sauli loves the less happy, tired and stressed Adam just as much, and lets Adam know it.
Sauli loves it that money isn't an issue between them. Or, it is, but it isn't where it matters. Adam doesn't think of himself as rich, and Sauli doesn't think of himself as poor, even in comparison. Not that they would ever compare. Adam is genuinely impressed by his 30 dollar boots that he found in a second hand treasure store. Only a couple days later his own 1 800 dollar Rick Owen boots finally arrive, and Adam is so happy about them that they're about the only thing he uses for weeks. And none of this is awkward, it doesn't even come to Adam's mind that it might.
He digs Adam's hand from where it's buried between his body and the sheet, and idly plays with the other man's fingers.
Sauli loves to watch Adam work the limelight. It's a mix or charisma, instinct and genuine interest towards the interviewer's success. Sauli doesn't particularly like the red carpets, it's way too unpredictable form of entertainment media for him, but he can do it for Adam. Adam never takes it for granted. Just because Adam genuinely enjoys the attention, he would never force it to anyone. Adam doesn't mind sharing the attention with his friends, either, even when Sauli sometimes think that some of the friends enjoy of the unearned attention a little too much. But that's just what Adam is, and Sauli would never try to change that.
Adam frets that Sauli would get fed up with all this "Gay Idol Dating!" shit, like it would be his fault. And yeah, Sauli doesn't want to his job ever turn into being a celebrity wife, but some of it comes with the package. You can't openly date a celebrity and then get offended when you end up in pictures and gossip sites with him.
He lightly kisses the fingers between his own, just teasing. This time he doesn't get a reaction.
Sauli is a firm believer of communication. Love might work without it, but relationships don't. And this is a freaking relationship, he didn't move to another side of the world to have an affair. Yes, they talk, they talk ridiculous amount. Sometimes Sauli still fears that there is a language barrier between them. Sure, he is fluent in the everyday language, but what if they are unable to talk about the most abstract matters of the heart? Adam assures him that his English is great, but Sauli doesn't know if Adam truly grasps what Sauli is worried about. He's starting to think in English, too, but a person can't think of concepts that he doesn't have words for. Sauli is afraid that things will be left unsaid, even unthought of, because he has no words.
He dips his mouth down and takes Adam's index and middle fingers to his mouth, and then sucks. That gives him almost an instant reaction. He chuckles. Men. They are all hardwired to react to sucking, be it dick, skin, or fingers.
Sauli loves Adam's body. He is tall and lean and big just the right way, the way that leather bears aren't. Adam is big all over: his hands, his chest, his dick, his ass. Sauli really likes Adam's dick, and not only because he still associate cut dicks with porn. Before Adam, Sauli hadn't even seen a circumcised cock outside his TV-screen.
Sauli loves it how Adam unapologetically plays up with their height difference, drawing extra inches from shoes and hair. It's irritating that people are bold enough to actually base assumptions on what they do in bed on that, like it would be any of their fucking business, but between just them two? Sauli likes it, he likes to be the smaller person. And who the hell would want to date their own spitting image, anyway?
Adam never asks for compliments in bed, he knows that he is that good. Sauli loves the passion between them. He isn't afraid that the flames would settle down, it's just so good. It's them, together, that make it work. When they are in different cities or continents, they keep in touch like the fools in love they are, longing the closeness of the other, but never had they had a physical urge so demanding that they would have thought of satisfying their libidos with some other partner. Geographical distances are a fact of life that they live with it. Of course it sucks, but they can survive just fine. Only when they meet again the passion and the urges come out in full force again. And then, sex. Really fucking good sex.
Sauli feels Adam kissing his neck, and his now released, still wet fingers to travel to Sauli's stomach and then lower. This is a perfect way to start a morning.
So, it is scary. How could this last? Is this too much of a good thing?
Sauli loves, and swears to do his everything to make it last, to keep what they have. And still, he is waiting for the other shoe to drop.