Chapter Text
An irritated grunt had escaped the little girl's lips as she strained herself to reach farther. "Just a little bit closer..." she exclaimed to herself, attempting to grasp the grimoire that was intentionally placed out of her reach.
"Keep that up and you're sure to exhaust yourself." She flinched upon hearing the teasing tone that she knew all too well. She lowered her hand, relaxing herself as her gaze would lower to the wooden floor. "...Noire." The words were like a whimper from a guilty puppy. She turned to face her older sibling, only to find that her brother, Shiro, was also there.
"You know mom took your grimoire away for a reason, Saria!" Noire scolded, watching Saria's ears droop. Her tail wrapped around her leg, and Noire felt a little sorry for her. "I...know. It's j-just-" Saria would attempt to justify her actions, only for their oldest sibling to shake his head. "You work too hard to prove yourself." In response, Saria shifted, holding her hands behind her back.
Noire nodded in agreement. "Y-Yeah! Take it easy sometime. Besides, it's too late to practice arcanima!" Noire wagged a finger, grinning at her sister. Saria watched her siblings curiously, before a sigh of defeat ultimately escaped her lips as she eased away from the counter. "Okay, okay!" she pouted as her siblings smiled and escorted her to her room.
"There'll be plenty of time to get things done, so don't exhaust yourself!" Noire chirped as Saria opened the door to her room. Shiro would offer a nod. "You can't prove yourself to everyone." They were the last words she had heard as she closed the door to her room...
Then, everything looked different. Her perspective had changed, and she was...taller. The room held a sense of dread and wasn't as vibrant as she remembered. There was a small ringing in her ears that reminded her of sobbing, but the room was dead silent. Slowly, she turned her head and found herself staring into a mirror. Her short black hair was a mess and her skin was more pale than it was a moment ago. Her crimson eyes were tired and weary, and her whole body drooped upon seeing the mirror.
She was older. She shook her head at the mirror, but more specifically, the figure garbed in a white nightgown. Nothing was on her mind, nor could she actually hear her own thoughts. Nevertheless, words would leave her lips before she could process them. "Oh, Saria..." She sighed, mimicking the scolding tone Noire had used on her. "That was ten years ago."
She could remember it quite vividly, how she had forgotten something in the house. Her family was finally moving from the quiet little nook it rested in, and they were set to leave today. She was fortunate enough that her mother had allowed her to go back and grab something. After all, no one was around, and the carriage would be a short dirt-walk path away...
She raced to the cottage, searching high and low for her most valued possession. How she had forgotten it? She wasn't really certain. She simply recalled that her gut told her to do something else before she could pick up the grimoire she had received for her 6th birthday. She had found it on the counter, but she could reach it this time. The moment the grimoire was snug in her hands, she heard a loud crash in the distance, followed by short-lived screams.
It was as if she was cemented into the ground. Her eyes widened as her heart began to race, the sense of dread looming over her, as if she would be covered in a blanket and held down. She forced herself to turn, though her steps were heavy and she struggled to even move. Thoughts filled her head since she knew the area well enough. She reached the door, her heartbeat pounding in her head as a rush of adrenaline made her shoot out of the door like a bullet, grimoire clutched in her hands tightly.
She wished she hadn't left the house. Dust was scattered in the air, sending her sneezing and wheezing as she attempted to wave it away. She looked hard, only to find the carriage was utterly destroyed. Wooden pieces, as well as other bits of debris from their belongings were strewn about, though ultimately weighed down by heavy, jagged rocks. She noted that they looked sharp enough to cut her hand if she merely leaned on it.
Her rush of adrenaline had dissipated, being replaced by a sense of fear. She dragged her feet slowly through the dirt, uttering the names of her family members in the hopes of some sort of response. She was met with a dreadful silence, and it wasn't until she nearly grazed one of the large rocks that she looked down. She heard a small splash, as if she had stepped into a puddle, prompting her to look down.
Her eyes widened and she began choking on her breath as she threw herself back, landing roughly onto the dirt. "Red..." She choked out. "It's r-red!" The words lunged from her throat as a cry. It was as if all of her hopes and dreams were crushed in the blink of an eye. She had stepped into a pool of blood, and noticed the familiar, petite hand of her older sister.
Reality came crashing down on her, even as she frantically pleaded for it all to be an awful nightmare as she pinched herself, screaming desperately for some sort of verification that she wasn't alone. In her frenzy, she had lost hold of her grimoire, which had sparked when it hit the ground, pages left wide open. She breathed frantically, covering her mouth with her hands as she cried into it, though she also tried to keep herself from vomiting.
"Alone." The word was reoccurring in her mind. "You're alone."
It was as if she was taunting herself, though she didn't comprehend why. As a matter of fact, she wouldn't, not for awhile, anyway. It wasn't until she felt warmth on her arm that she stopped screaming. She trembled, turning her gaze to the source of the tongue licking her in an attempt to comfort her. Filling her gaze was a bright, glowing little creature. A red triangle rested on the blue familiar's forehead, as a darker blue hue would be the color of the stripe leading down it's back and separating into its' three tails. She gazed into its' black, beady eyes as it set a paw on her in awe.
"Emerald Carbuncle..?" She murmured, taking the familiar into her arms. She turned her gaze over to the grimoire, seeing the ink on the patterns glowing ever so slightly. With a shaky hand, she stroked the familiar's back in an attempt to distract herself from the horrific sight before her. The tears would escape her, but the carbuncle was oddly comforting.
However, she didn't realize that unconsciously, she would begin to shield herself from people. She felt uneasy when she spoke, as she was afraid she would begin to break down. Most of all, she was afraid that if she let someone in, they would be torn away, leaving her a mess again. Such was the premise that the walls around her heart would be built as she would begin to throw herself into adventuring and studying other arts.
Most of this is because she wanted to prove herself. You could even say she wanted to fulfill her siblings' dreams of doing different things...
However, deep down, Saria wanted to be useful enough that she wouldn't be alone.
She jolted upon feeling a gentle touch on her arm. Her eyes had grown watery and a rebellious tear had drifted down her cheek. A sharp gasp escaped her, as if she were scared. She turned her head, fearing she would see that dreaded image of herself in the mirror with the white nightgown again. That had always been her signal that she was in some sort of dream. Alas, that was not the case. She wasn't even in the correct room, nor did she face herself to the left where the mirror always was.
The room was brighter and more lively. She turned to the right, her eyes meeting the worried gaze of Alphinaud. It was then that she realized she had drifted off again, a scowl on her features, which had likely scared her companion.
"A-Ah," he took his hand away, a bit startled. "M-My apologies, Saria..." Her gaze softened as she watched that fretful expression of his come into play. She even smiled, shaking her head in an attempt to clear his concerns. "N-No, you didn't do anything..." she spoke softly, and the tone reminded her of the way she had once spoken her sister's name with guilt. It was all she could do to prevent herself from wincing.
She turned her gaze forward, that wistful look in her eyes once more as she wordlessly forced herself along. Alphinaud's gaze would linger upon her, a sigh of guilt escaping his lips as Tataru slowly approached him. "I don't think she's angry with you, Alphinaud." The Lalafellin woman had spoken reassuringly, watching the Elezen's gaze turn to the ground. "But-"
"But, she held no disdain for you after that mess, now did she?" Tataru placed her hands on her hips, practically scolding the boy. He averted his gaze, as if he were embarrassed.
In reality, she had said it in an attempt to keep him from falling into his state of despair again. What Tataru didn't know was the matter of truth to her words. Saria harbored no sort of disdain or resentment for Alphinaud, and wasn't going to. Saria had been quick to leave because she was afraid of how fast her heart began to beat at the sight of him fretting over her, a factor that had been happening a lot more since...Well, she'd rather not say.
Saria was perturbed by the fact that despite her ten years of carefully building the walls around her heart to protect herself, Alphinaud had managed to get through. Perhaps it would all come crashing down soon enough.
Soon enough.