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Albert always knew that Elmer was a little weird. He was adorable, but strange in the most interesting of ways. Today Albert was sitting on the couch watching Elmer in the kitchen. He was supposed to be cutting up potatoes for the dinner they were going to later at Davey and Jack’s apartment. He was supposed to be, but at the moment he had a singular potato in his hand that he was staring at with an intensity that rivaled that of Race watching Drag Race. After about a minute of Elmer’s deep concentration on the potato, Albert decided to investigate.
Lifting himself off of the couch, Albert tilted his head curiously and tiptoed his way into the kitchen, so as not to disturb whatever the hell was happening with Elmer.
“Elmer.” Albert said softly, attempting to get his attention, but not startle him.
“Hmm?” Elmer hummed out, still not lifting his eyes off of the object in his hands. Albert was no closer to figuring out what the hell his boyfriend was up to.
“Sweetie, what’cha doing?”
“Staring at this potato.” He responded with no joke prevalent in his tone.
“Well I sort of figured that much out. I meant, why are you staring at the potato? And why this one in particular.”
Elmer finally met Albert’s gaze, “It’s a good potato.”
Albert’s eyebrows lifted as he let out a small chuckle. He reached his arms out and pulled Elmer’s body against his, resting his chin on top of Elmer’s fluffy hair.
“I’m sure it is. Does this mean that we won’t be cutting him up for the soup?”
Elmer turned in Albert’s arms to face him, his jaw dropped in horror. “Of course we aren’t cutting him up! How could you even say such a thing!”
Albert lifted his hands in surrender, “My apologies, so our potato friend will be staying with us for a while then?” His hands dropped back down to Elmer’s waist and Albert watched Elmer’s face scrunch up into the little smile that he fell in love with.
“Absolutely. As long as you say it is alright.” Elmer’s eyes looked like a dog begging for more food, wide and shining, how could he in good conscious say no?
“Yes, he can stay as long as you want.” Albert ended his statement with a small peck to Elmer’s nose.
Elmer’s face lit up for a second time. He grabbed the back of Albert’s head with his hand that wasn’t currently holding the potato, and brought his face down for a seemingly too passionate kiss for the current situation. Albert didn’t really mind that much. When they broke apart, Elmer smiled and then jetted across the room, leaving Albert alone and confused.
When he came back, the potato was donning a drawn on smiley face, and a top hat. Elmer held it out in front of him to Albert like a child presenting his crayon drawings to his parents. “Here is a really good potato. Cherish it.”
Albert smiled and rolled his eyes at the silly idiot he was incredibly in love with. “He looks great El. What’s his name?”
Elmer furrowed his eyebrows confusedly. “Why the hell would I name a potato?”
Albert opened his mouth, but had no response. Instead, he rolled his eyes, placed the fancy potato on a clear spot on the counter and began cutting the other, not so special potatoes. “C’mon potato boy, we’ve got soup to make.”
Elmer smiled and began washing the potatoes in the bowl next to Albert. After he was done, he leaned over, took the knife from Alberts hand, setting it gently on the counter, and pulled him into an intense kiss. Albert was grinning so wide, he couldn’t continue. Instead, he grabbed Elmer’s hand and dragged him to the bedroom. So they would be a little late to Jack’s, not any different from usual.