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Peter was sitting on a fire escape in a darkened alley, keeping an ear out for trouble. His locked phone was resting on his thigh, having just finished writing an introduction to an essay while waiting for crime to fight. He didn’t have much spare time nowadays, so his uni work often converged with his vigilantism. Tonight had been quiet, almost boring, so he’d taken the reprieve to get some work done.
He tipped his head back to rest against the brick wall behind him and sighed. He should probably be getting home to get at least two or three hours sleep before his seven-o’clock lecture.
Before he could commit to moving, he heard and felt a series of harsh footsteps running up the fire escape. He glanced below and spotted a flash of red and black, and his mouth curled into a small smile, hidden behind his mask.
“Deadpool,” he greeted when the other joined him, panting slightly. It was probably only for dramatics, Peter knew of his healing, and the increased lung capacity as a result.
“Why do you always hang out in the most inconvenient places?” Deadpool whined, sitting beside Peter so they were pressed together from shoulder to knee.
“To drive away anyone who doesn’t truly appreciate my company,” Peter chuckled, and Deadpool slung an arm around his shoulders.
“No one values your company more than I do,” he said brightly, and Peter doesn’t doubt it.
“Sorry to cut this cozy catchup short, but I was about to head home for the night,” Peter said, stifling a yawn and pressing the home button on his phone check the time. Before he’d mentally processed the numbers he was seeing, Deadpool had swiped the phone, drawing in a loud gasp.
“Who is this?” He demanded, shoving the phone in Peter’s face and indicating the fluffy ginger cat shown in the picture that took up the lock screen.
“That’s my kitty, Tator Tots,” Peter said, smiling sadly. “I love him more than anything, but my ex got him in the breakup.”
“Whoa, wait, just a sec,” Wade said, shoving Peter’s phone back at him. “Aren’t you Spider-Man? I thought you fought against injustice and stood up for what’s right? That’s your cat! Why don’t you have your cat?”
“The break-up was… Messy,” Peter said, putting it politely, “and I left in a bit of a hurry. My ex didn’t know I was Spider-Man, and I didn’t really want it to come out that night…”
“Okay, no, I will not stand for this,” Wade said, staying firmly seated, true to his word. “We’re getting your cat back. Tonight. Now.”
“Deadpool, we can’t just steal a cat,” Peter said flatly, completely exasperated and not tempted in the least.
“It’s not stealing if it’s half yours!”
“And what about breaking and entering? That’s still a crime!”
“I promise I won’t break anything! Your ex won’t even know we were there, she’ll just wake up with a missing cat. We can leave a note from Tater Tots, saying he’s run away because she was mean,” Wade said excitedly.
Peter felt a twinge of — something, when Wade mentioned his ex... Annoyance, maybe, but in all fairness, Peter didn’t really clarify, he wasn’t really specific… Of course Wade would assume.
“Fine, if it really means that much to you, we’ll go rescue Tater Tots,” Peter said, trying to sound exceedingly put-upon, like his pulse wasn’t racing with an undercurrent of excitement at seeing his little baby Tatey again after months.
“Excellent,” Wade said, clapping his hands and jumping to his feet. “Where are we headed?”
“Think you can keep up?” Peter grinned, sliding his phone into the invisible pocket in the lining of his suit, and sliding off the fire escape, firing a web and using his momentum to start swinging towards the college campus.
In a little under five minutes he was waiting on the rooftop of the apartment complex for student housing he’d shared with the person who had become his romantic partner. It really was a pity it had ended so badly, they’d been good friends in the beginning, when they’d just met as roommates.
He didn’t have to wait too long for Wade, moments later he saw the dork waving excessively at him from the ground, and Peter flicked out a web to stick to his chest and hoist him up.
Once Wade was level with the window of the apartment Peter used to live in, he gave Wade a thumbs-up, which Wade returned before turning his attention to working the lock. A minute later, Peter watched Wade disappear into the apartment, and he scaled down the wall to peer inside. Not much had changed in the way of decoration, only the photos of the couple that had once occupied the walls and tables were missing.
Peter watched guiltily as Wade crept from room to room, searching for Tater Tots, but reminded himself that it was Peter’s idea to get the cat in the first place, and his ex had never really been particularly fond of the kitten, anyway. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Wade approached the window, Tater Tots cradled in his big arms.
“This is yours,” he whispered, shoving the cat out of the window at Peter. As soon as Peter had his hands on the cat, Tater Tots started purring. “I’m gonna leave through the door, and I’ll meet you back at your place. I think we need to talk.”
“Okay,” Peter agreed quietly, his stomach dropping. He should’ve told Deadpool when he had the chance...
He climbed one-armed down the brick exterior, holding his purring cat gently with his other arm. It was only a short walk across to the other side of campus, where Peter’s new home was, and by the time he got there, Wade was already sprawled on the couch, watching infomercials with a beer in his hand.
“Okay, Tater Tots, this is your new home,” Peter said, gently placing the cat on the ground and watching him sniff around for a moment, before tugging off his mask and sitting next to Wade on the couch.
“So, I take it from your general evasiveness and tone when talking about the subject — your ex could be a little bit abusive?” Wade said abruptly, taking off his own mask.
“Yes,” Peter agreed quietly. “Mostly emotional manipulation, but towards the end it got… Physical.” He breathed out a harsh laugh, his eyes stinging, “Must sound ridiculous — Spider-Man running away from an abusive relationship.”
“I’m glad you got out, Pete,” Wade said, “it was really brave. Just like I’d expect of Spider-Man.”
Peter felt his cheeks warm, and he quickly looked over to where Tater Tots was rubbing his face over the corners of all the furniture in the kitchen.
“I also know you’d want to help anyone else who might be in that situation, which is why I wanted to let you know I think your ex might be seeing someone new. She wasn’t there, but there was a man sleeping in the bed — Tater Tots was in the bedroom, otherwise I wouldn’t have noticed — and, I don’t know, if she was like that with you, what about the next guy who maybe isn’t as strong as you?” Wade asked, his scarred face shining with sincerity.
Peter swallowed thickly, and took a deep breath. “Was — was it a big guy? Um, with a, uh, like, an Aztec tattoo on his shoulder?”
“Yeah, do you know him?”
“Yeah, that’s, um, Chris. He — he’s my ex,” Peter whispered on an exhale.
“Oh,” Wade said. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” Peter laughed tonelessly. He didn’t really think Wade would care about his preferred gender of sexual/romantic partners, but he’d also thought the same about people in the past and he’d been drastically wrong.
“Sorry for assuming you ex’s gender, my dude,” Wade said brightly. In fact, he almost sounded giddy.
“Why do you sound like Christmas has come early?” Peter asked suspiciously, reaching down to pat Tater Tots, where he was strutting past the couch.
“Because I just found out Spider-Man swings my way, and is totally fair game!” Wade replied happily.
“Never in a million years,” Peter teased, picking Tater Tots up and cuddling him close.
“I just stole a cat for you, the least you could do is thank me properly,” Wade said suggestively, and Peter rolled his eyes.
“Thank you,” he said, leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to Wade’s cheek.
Wade’s squeal was so high and offensive that Tater Tots squirmed out of Peter’s arms and ran away.