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The testing went nowhere. It was the same five games over and over again, each accompanied by a punishment voice blaring “WRONG” in his ears with every incorrect solution Dirk tried. No matter what he did, he never got it right.
Dirk got out of bed on the fortieth day, not bothering to try and sleep in; he’d done that before. It just made the guards handle him more roughly and the voice get a little louder. He sighed and stood up, waiting for the door to open and the guards to manhandle him into the testing room.
What happened instead astounded Dirk: someone knocked. He abruptly said “Come in!” without thinking about whether the person on the other side of the door actually needed his permission to do so.
In walked a timid-looking man in a suit. His eyes darted everywhere before settling on Dirk once the door had closed. He straightened his tie and held his clipboard close, obviously trying to look professional.
Dirk was rooted to the spot, staring at the newcomer. “Hello?” He said it like it was a question.
The man cleared his throat. “Hi. I’m, uh… I’m Lieutenant Assistent. You can call me Michael.” He held out a hand and Dirk shook it, baffled at the Blackwing agent’s unprecedented kindness.
“I’m Dirk. I mean, I’m sure you already knew that. Probably in my file somewhere, list of aliases or something.” Dirk clamped his mouth shut to stop the rambling. “Why are you here?”
Michael fidgeted a little. “My superiors, they, um… they wanted to see if human interaction would make you more cooperative.” Dirk rolled his eyes. Of course. “Personally, I don’t think it’ll make a difference because the tests are bullshit, but no one else was gonna do it. Forcing you into this isolation is really fucked up, so I volunteered.” He said the last two sentences very fast, like he didn’t know if he’d be able to say it at all otherwise.
Dirk took a moment to think this over. On one hand, Blackwing should never, under any circumstances, be trusted. On the other, Dirk was starved for conversation. The only voices he had heard for over a month straight were the computer that announced his failures and the occasional grunt of a security guard. Making friends with someone couldn’t hurt, right? It’s not like he’d spill all of his secrets or anything.
Dirk became aware of the fact that he didn’t have to stand anymore and sat down on the floor. Criteria one for friends of Dirk: sitting in places not meant for sitting. The corners of Michael’s mouth turned upwards and he too slid to the floor.
“Oh, our conversations won’t be monitored, by the way. Did I mention that?”
Dirk’s eyes widened. “Really?” The time he’d had for privacy had been exclusively in his allotted times to use the bathroom and bathe, which did not add up to much.
Michael chuckled. “Yeah, I asked them not to have the cameras on. They can still hear loud noises through the door in case you try to kill me or whatever, but I told them you’d be better off in this environment with no one but the two of us. Friedkin gave the okay, but I don’t think it’s because he’s considerate. He’s just dumb.”
Michael fiddled with the pen he was holding, which Dirk envied. He hadn’t had anything to do but test for all this time, and he was getting antsy.
“I brought some paper if you wanna draw or something. I figured you’d be bored.” Michael slid the clipboard over to Dirk. Under the clip was a nice sharp pencil and several sheets of blank paper.
Dirk thanked him and took a piece of paper. He began to fold it as he and Michael sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments.
“Origami, huh?” Michael asked, watching Dirk’s hands work. “When did you learn?”
“I’m always moving,” Dirk said simply, “One of the older subjects noticed and taught me years ago. ‘Might as well do something all that energy,’ they always said.” Dirk smiled sadly in remembrance. He wondered if they were still in Blackwing or if they’d managed to fly under their radar since being released.
Michael grinned back. He was thoughtfully gazing at Dirk’s face now. He used to wonder how someone could be so bright after having grown up in such a desolate environment. He eventually figured out that often people in the worst situations will be the most kind because they don’t want anyone else to go through what they did. Dirk, having had one of the most terrible childhoods of everyone Michael knew, was the nicest person he had ever met.
Dirk continued folding the paper into small animals, each taking a place on his previously vacant nightstand. Michael talked to fill the silence. He kept the conversation light, but he also tried not to act like he was just trying to entertain Dirk.
Dirk enjoyed listening. After what may have been minutes or hours passed and they became more comfortable, Michael spoke more freely and animatedly. Dirk watched his hands gesture wildly through the telling of every story. He was creating origami at a much slower pace.
Only when Dirk’s eyelids became heavy and his creases sloppy did he wish he could move from where he sat.
Michael noticed. “You don’t have to stay awake, you know. If you wanna get back on your bed and go to sleep, it’s cool.” He stood up to leave, but Dirk scrambled to his feet as well, clinging to Michael’s arm.
“Please don’t go,” Dirk winced at the crack in his voice. “I’ve been alone for so long. Could you… stay?”
“Sure, man,” Michael didn’t jerk his arm away. Instead, he allowed Dirk to pull him over to the bed.
Dirk lay on his side with his knees bent, allowing Michael to sit in the crook. Dirk was rigidly careful not to touch Michael any more than the hand on his forearm, lest the situation become any more awkward. Strangely enough, Michael didn’t make any attempt to remove it.
Dirk didn’t remember Michael leaving, but he woke up in the dark to a cold bed. He sat up and ran his hands through his hair with his eyes shut tight. Once again he was plagued by nightmares of rescue being just out of reach.
Hope was running short for Dirk. It had been over a month and he still didn’t know where Todd and Farah were. The test results were all the same. The only thing keeping him afloat was the belief that if his friends were captured, they would be Blackwing’s biggest tool with which to manipulate him. That and the slowly unfolding compassion from Michael, reassuring Dirk that he did indeed have a worth that wasn’t monetary or military.
Ghost light emanating from the base of the wall allowed Dirk to see the vague silhouettes of his origami zoo. He smiled. Maybe he could wait a bit longer for Todd and Farah to get there.
~~~~~
Michael visited the next day. He knocked again and didn’t enter until Dirk made a noise of acknowledgement into his pillow. He had slammed his face down to block the blinding light as it turned on and stayed there for a few minutes after Michael came in.
Dirk looked up because he felt his bed sag. Michael had sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at the origami. In his hand, Dirk noticed with a smile, were several more sheets of paper than he brought the day before.
“Hey, Dirk.”
“Hello.” Dirk rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
“Sorry to wake—”
“It’s alright—”
“No, really, I—”
“It’s okay, Michael.”
Michael looked mortified at the exchange, but Dirk bubbled with laughter. He was sitting up now, legs crossed under the blanket. He leaned forward and bumped his forehead against Michael’s arm to hide his reddening face. If a chill went up Michael’s spine at the touch, no one had to know.
“Thanks,” Michael huffed out a nervous laugh.
“For what?” Dirk looked up, tilting his head in question.
Michael paused. “For… not blowing up, I guess. Usually every little mistake is pointed out and criticized by someone.” His boss, his mother, his ex… Dirk nodded in understanding. “I’m glad I can just move past what doesn’t matter.”
Dirk sighed and swung his legs off the bed so most of his right side touched Michael’s left. He was too sleepy to care. As long as he could still be warm, he could tolerate sitting up.
“I know the feeling,” Dirk admitted after a moment, “Everything I do has a consequence. And I mean that in the most literal possible way, especially when I’m on a case.”
Dirk was exhausted. Tired of the tests, tired of being responsible for people’s lives, and tired of waiting. He rested his head on Michael’s shoulder and closed his eyes, savoring the moment of peace. Michael released a slow exhale and leaned into Dirk as well.
That day went on much like the one before. They sat on the ground and talked while Dirk folded more paper animals. However, there was a small difference: Dirk and Michael were always touching. It was just things like their knees bumping or their shoulders grazing one another. Toward the end of the day, Dirk even went so far as to rest his legs over Michael’s while they sat perpendicular.
They fell into a pattern for the next few weeks or so. Michael never backed away from Dirk when touched, which Dirk appreciated, but he also never reached out. Under normal circumstances, Dirk might have been worried by this, though he considered the fact that most of what Michael had been told about Dirk made him sound like a dangerous lunatic to be a reasonable explanation. Dirk was lucky Michael hadn’t been scared off entirely by what was in his file; this friendship forming between them was a true blessing.
When this last thought occurred to him, Dirk looked up at Michael, putting down his paper. They were both sitting against the bed now, their sides touching like they had been that second morning.
“Thank you,” Dirk said sincerely, “For everything. I know you kind of have to be my friend, but I appreciate it all the same.”
Michael’s face morphed into something akin to pity, but not so deprecatory. He turned his head to look Dirk in the eyes. “I’m not here because I have to be; I’m here because I want to be. Believe it or not, I like listening to your crazy stories. They’re way more interesting than everything else that happens in this goddamn facility.”
Michael looked down at his hands in his lap, so he missed the expression of open admiration on Dirk’s face. “Hey, you haven’t told me much about yourself,” Dirk’s voice was soft and heartfelt. “How’d someone like you end up working here? I thought everyone at Blackwing had to be a weirdo with no empathy in order to even get an application,” he joked.
Michael let out a short laugh. “It was fresh out of high school. I got cornered by this military guy telling me to serve my country and all that. I was so excited that I signed up on the spot, and they shipped me out a few months later…” He trailed off, fidgeting with a paper crane.
“Go on,” Dirk implored.
“Okay, well, while I was actually out in the field… I quickly proved to be utterly terrible in the combat department. But I guess the dudes up high saw how good I was at other stuff, like organizing papers and whatnot. They put me behind the scenes but still close to the front lines at first. It was still hell out there.” Michael took a deep breath. Dirk could just feel the ghost of it on his face, they were so close.
“So when I heard about the opportunity to become a lieutenant at this ‘top secret’ CIA facility, where I could help keep people safe—” He faltered, a guilty look on his face. “—but not have to hear guns or watch my buddies die anymore. I was so stupid. I just wanted to see some aliens and get away from the real world. I didn’t realize they would be torturing people here. I’m sorry.”
Michael’s hands started to shake. On instinct, Dirk covered them with his own. Michael swallowed past the knot in his throat, then looked up at Dirk. Michael was holding back tears.
“No need to apologize,” Dirk said carefully, “They’d be torturing us either way. I’m glad you’re here with me; you’re the only thing that makes it easier.” As he said it, Dirk realized this was true. Even the mere presence of Michael had brought happiness to the one place Dirk didn’t think it could exist.
Their eyes remained locked. Without thinking about what he was doing, Dirk started to lean forward ever so slightly. As soon as the gap between them began to close, one of the guards outside rapped on the door, signaling the end of the day. Michael leapt to his feet, hastily pulling his hands out of Dirk’s.
“I should— It’s— I’ll—” Michael fumbled over his words, unsure what to say, until he reached the door. He gave a short “bye!” and left.
Dirk just watched him go from the floor. He didn’t know if the feeling in his stomach was relief or disappointment at the interruption. Was he imagining it, or had Michael also leaned in? No, it couldn’t be. Why would he have left in such a rush if not to escape the awkwardness?
Dirk climbed onto the bed morosely. Once the lights flicked off, he buried his face under the blanket and at last allowed himself to cry.
He cried because he was still at Blackwing. He cried because Todd and Farah had obviously given up on him. He cried because he was never leaving. He cried because the one thing that made this place bearable had just run out the door and away from him. He cried because he knew Michael would come back if he hadn’t been so stupid.
Once Dirk had exhausted his supply of tears, he lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. Not sleeping, not thinking, just staring.
Dirk felt a breeze on his face. His nose twitched. He looked to the left to see Mona Wilder, of all people, crouched next to his bed.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, baffled.
Mona put a finger on her lips. “I’m here to take you to your friends,” she whispered in her sickly sweet voice.
“Take me?” Dirk’s voice cracked in surprise. He was getting out? Why has she waited so long?? How was Mona going to get him past the guards?
Mona nodded, a bright smile on her face. Dirk, on a panicked whim, asked for just a moment. He swept some origami off the stack of paper on his nightstand and hastily felt around for the pencil. He made the note short, but he hoped the message still came across as genuine.
Dirk had barely finished turning back to Mona when she threw a glass of water on him and he tumbled into total darkness.