Chapter Text
“200 from the patty, 250 from the bread, 500 from the bacon, 300 and so from the cheese, 200 from the mayonnaise, 60 from the ketchup… and almost 200 on the cola.”
Minghao stopped whispering and looked at his plate once again, he let out a sigh and offered the one sitting on his right his meal, which accepted it without hesitate and started eating the hamburger furiously.
“Soonyoung” He stood up and called to his friend that was on the other side of the room as he was approaching to him “I don’t feel well, I will get going”
“Ah, sure” The older stood up and patted him on the shoulders. “Do you want me to ride you home?”
“No, don’t worry about me” He waved and walked outside off the restaurant as the latter waved back heading back to his previous conversation.
Pulling up his hood and hiding his hands inside his pockets he started walking back to his house as it wasn’t that far from where he was. It was for sure freezing outside and he wasn’t going to let himself get sick again since that last time he got sick it took almost a month for him to fully recover.
He was for sure that he would regret going to the party his classmates decided to make up to celebrate the end of exams and the begging of the semester vacations. At first he was excited, he loved parties and hanging out but then his excitement dropped when he heard they were going to that new hamburger place that none of them had been before but one or two of them.
But somehow Chan and Jun convinced him to go, even when he accepted he knew it will end like this, he deciding to leave earlier. He got a huge wave of illness by just looking at the hamburger and its grease slide down from the patty. He could have thrown up by just looking at it.
He had been like this by almost 6 years now; he was now 20 years old and in collage and had a mayor in dance. It was his dream to dance for a living along with Chan, Soonyoung and Junhui; while Jun was taking at the same time classes on theatre and Chan on Graphic Design.
It wasn’t hard to convince his parents of letting him to study what he wanted to be in life, they have always be super supportive with what Minghao wanted to do, even when he was back in China. It was because of his parents that he was able to be in Seoul following his dream of being a professional dancer. He didn’t have bad grades, he didn’t was a rebellious kid, he didn’t insulted at his parents, he was a good son.
But wasn’t a perfect son.
Since he was 14 he started to be self conscious about what he was eating and his weight. He was in school and indeed, he was a bit chubby, but not THAT chubby, he has always been skinny as it was his body type.
He started to compare his body to others and realized he was fatter than his classmates –even if he wasn’t – He started eating less and practicing on his dance classes and even staying after everyone had left the studio, and it became his job on closing the doors before leaving.
He did got thinner, a lot, and it started to be a concern to his parents that once sat with him on the dinner table and asked him if something was wrong, of course he lied. And his parents loved him so much to ever got mad or refuse him, so he escaped.
At the time passed he started to stop craving for food and got used to eating just one meal a day and even on that only meal, he would look up to the calories he was eating on everything.
He didn’t had any friends back in China, at least to him they weren’t real friends. They just suddenly started to be around him and approached at him first because of the one earring he had at that time, now being one out of five he had. He kind of enjoyed being with them but he felt like was distant with them, when they asked him to hang out after school, they all will start getting in pairs or on small groups and start chatting between them, that made Minghao felt lonely and started to hang less with them and just passing his days studying, on his room, or on the dance studio.
He was happy to now have friends that cared about him and that had the same passions as him. They were really good friends, amazing friends, idiots but he also was one so it was fine.
He arrived to his house and immediately went up stairs, entered his bedroom and dropped on his bed rolling over it to take the phone that he left charging on his side table, because he fell asleep on the evening and completely forgot to charge it.
“Will you ever answer at the same hour as I message you?” He read out loud as he saw the 9 new messages he got from his… kind of best friend.
“You should already be used to it, It’s been like what, 4 years?”
“5 Years, you asshole”
“Oh have my dearest apologies”
And then he saw a entering call appear on the screen that surprised him a bit but pick it up immediately as it was from the same person he was texting with a seconds ago.
“You are mean to me Hao”
“You are just so fucking hurt by everything Gyu” He responded harshly trying to not laugh as his whining voice. “And I do have a reason for not replying at the same hour this time”
“If you tell me you fell asleep and left your phone without charging it I will punch you when I get to your house”
“Then don’t come” He softly laughed.
“I knew it! Whatever, I’m still going, be prepared for a kick in the ass”
“You sure you want to kick the ass of someone who has been training in martial arts since he was 5 years old?”
Mingyu stayed in silence as Minghao wasn’t trying to laugh but smiling with a winning smirk all over his face.
“I have my tactics, okay? I’m almost there, open the door quickly cause it’s freezing like hell out here.”
“Isn’t hell supposed to be on fire?”
“Shut up and open the door”
He giggled and rolled off his bed to fell on the floor and then standing up looking to his red hoodie that was really not his size but that’s how he liked it. He took of the plain white one he was wore at the party and changed quickly and went downstairs to open the door to see his tall best-kind-of-friend with snow on the top of his head and a bit on his shoulders.
“It started snowing”
“Yeah, I couldn’t tell” Minghao said sarcastically as he pulled Mingyu by the wrist inside and closed the door behind him.
“I think I told you to open the door quickly!” Mingyu whined looking at him pouting and faking puppy eyes.
“I didn’t took 20 minutes this time, be grateful” Minghao couldn’t help but to smile about how Mingyu was too childish sometimes while he swinged his arm that he was still grabbing by the wrist.
“You are so mean with me” Mingyu said again as he hugged Minghao and indeed, he was cold and made Minghao felt a little sorry. He hugged him back caressing his back trying to warm him a little.
“Sowie” Minghao said looking at him being now he the one with puppy eyes and a fake sad expression that made Mingyu hug him tightly.
He really loved to hug and being hugged, he loved to cuddle and being cuddled. Both of them did.
He could have kissed him if he didn’t knew he has a girlfriend.
Minghao and Mingyu had been texting back then when he was on China. He used to record himself practicing the dances that he will present on stage later online after recording the same dance up to 10+ times until he was satisfied with the result, Mingyu also loved to dance but not as much as Minghao, but that didn’t stopped him to post some comments here and there, and Minghao replying to them, and the same all over again.
He got to know Soonyoung the same way too; the older almost dies from excitement when Minghao told him that he was going to Seoul, and told Minghao that he was going to join his crew so better to be prepared.
Minghao had a crush on Mingyu.
Mingyu didn’t told him that he had a girlfriend. When they were together watching a movie at Mingyu’s house like 5 months ago, both sat next to each other cuddling because of Minghao that was always cold for obvious reasons, and he suddenly said it, making Minghao’s heart broken into a million of pieces. Actually it wasn’t that dramatic, he just cuddled more into Mingyu’s chest with the excuse he wasn’t feeling well.
He was happy to have the chance of being like this with his crush, he never had seen his girlfriend and wasn’t sure if he wanted too. He couldn’t fight with a pretty, skinny and cute girl. He reminded to himself the same every day.
“I’m also cold” Minghao whispered hiding in the taller’s chest as he was feeling sad again by remembering that he couldn’t had Kim Mingyu.
Not just because he had a girlfriend and everything but because, obviously, how could him like someone like Minghao? A fat guy who spoke a not so well Korean. He wanted to be skinnier; he wanted to be loved by Mingyu, by someone. His parents loved him, but he knew they wouldn’t if they ever found out that he hid his meals on bags that he dropped on the school trash bins the day after.
He felt terrible.
He was a bad son.
And let’s not talk if they ever found out that he was gay. His dad would beat him up and his mother would not try to stop him from doing it.
“Want to cuddle? Or want me to make you something? We can make hot chocolate.”
Minghao looked up at him and whispered “cuddle” trying to sound cute, but cringing internally at himself.
He was a kid. So does Mingyu.
The taller held Minghao by the wrist and walked towards the living room sitting on the couch patting next to him to Minghao to sit next to him what he did and hugged Mingyu as the latter hugged him back.
“Did you eat?”
“Yeah, at the party” He lied. He never told anyone about his disorder, they didn’t wanted him or anyone to stop him until he reach the weight he wanted.
He only had told his seatmate Wonwoo about it, cause he was almost the same as him but not as extreme as Minghao, and they kept each other secret really well, they were almost best friends, even if Minghao didn’t believed that saying of “friends for life” or shit like that.
Wonwoo was the first on talking to Minghao. He was on the rooftop that he discovered a little after the classes started, Soonyoung was the one that told him about that and they will often hang out there with Woozi and Joshua to smoke some cigarettes and gossip of the relation of the literature professor with the English teacher and the rumor of her being pregnant.
He had said to the others that he wanted to rest a bit as he was feeling a bit dizzy so they left to the cafeteria. He used to skip lunch time almost every day, and Wonwoo noticed that because he did the same thing.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” One time Wonwoo said to him on the rooftop which surprised Minghao a little. And like that they became close.
“You are so skinny, where does that food go?” Mingyu said grabbing Minghao’s waist being able to feel a bit of his ribs, Minghao was grateful he was wearing that big hoodie at that moment.
“Oh come on, I wish I could have abs like yours” Minghao said trying to change the subject as he started to tense a little. It happened every god damn time when he talked about his weight.
“But you do have abs!”
“Not as big as yours” Minghao pouted.
“If you grew up a litt- Ow!!”
He loved an idiot.