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From the top of the Oscorp building, the city became a star-studded landscape, silver up top and pulsing neons below. This high up, there was a strong breeze, but it was a relatively warm night, all things considered. Peter absently twisted his ring under the glove of his suit while sweeping the city for emergencies and pesky green hover boards.
His phone vibrated. Peter pulled it out, heart rate picking up. Wade was due back from his first solo SHIELD mission. In fact, he was due back a few weeks ago, but Peter knew how those things went sometimes. And though he worried, he knew Wade would always come back.
He swiped his lock screen away impatiently – it was a photo of the two of them on their second anniversary being ridiculous saps – and opened the notification. It was… not Wade.
Tony Stark [2:09 AM]: Need you ASAP @ Avengers Tower
Peter fired off a quick “on my way” and leapt off the Oscorp building.
Peter landed on the balcony of the common floor. Steve was sitting on the couch in full gear, shield resting against his knees, looking troubled.
Peter took off his mask and let himself into the room. “Hey, what’s up? I’m here, guys.”
“Peter,” Steve said. “Uh, sit down?”
Okay, that didn’t sound good. Natasha walked into the room and picked up a little Stark projector, flicking it on, while Peter hesitantly took a seat next to Steve.
A hand landed on his shoulder, patting him with what he supposed was comfort. Peter tilted his head back to see Tony giving him a tight smile.
“Hey, Pete.”
“Hi, Tony. What’s going on?”
Tony nodded toward the hologram and sighed. “See for yourself.”
The video feed showed a dimly lit windowless bar. Every chair and stool was occupied.
“Is there no audio?” Peter asked.
“No, just the video off the security cams I hacked,” Tony said. “Keep watching.”
Steve sighed again. It was putting Peter on edge.
He had a bad feeling when he saw a red and black suited man enter the frame. So Wade was back already? Why hadn’t he come to see him first? What was –
Shit! The first two bodies dropped before anyone in the video reacted. Then it was chaos and mayhem as only Deadpool could manage when he was at his best. Blood sprayed over the camera after a swing of Wade’s katanas and bodies jerked, felled with gunshots he couldn’t hear. Peter wanted to look away, but he couldn’t.
The whole thing was over in two minutes. Eleven people were dead and then the video footage cut out with one well-placed bullet to the camera lens.
Peter hadn’t realized he had been holding his breath. He let it out in a rush and frowned.
“I don’t understand.”
“Neither do we,” Natasha said. She was frowning, but gave Peter a sympathetic look. "That looked like Deadpool though. Was it him?”
“Yeah. Yeah that was him,” Peter said quietly. He felt sick to his stomach. Wade hadn’t gone on a killing spree since long before they’d gotten together. He gave it up for Peter.
Was this… did Wade still need an outlet? Was this so much a part of him that he couldn’t repress it forever? Once Wade began changing, Peter convinced himself that the merc had genuinely changed, seen the error of his ways, or simply believed differently. Like Frank Castle didn’t relish killing, Peter thought. He did it out of a misguided sense of duty and whatever else Matt always ranted about. He thought Wade had been like that too, but was he wrong? Did Wade actually like killing people that much? Did he feel like he needed to do it? Peter had been able to sort of accept (with hope of reform) that they’d just had different philosophies – put them down for good versus hand them to the police – but could it have been an actual desire to kill for Wade? Was Wade sneaking around behind his back to get his fill of bloodshed?
Peter almost felt like he’d been cheated on.
But he was determined not to judge until he’d spoken with Wade. They’d sort this out. Maybe Wade had had a bad PTSD flashback of his time at Weapon X. That didn't change the fact eleven people were dead now, but Peter would understand. They could work past this. That’s what marriage was all about. They would help each other through this.
Peter knew he wasn’t totally innocent when it came to Wade’s violence. He’d let Wade torture people before – bad people…he hadn’t really encouraged it, just hadn’t really been there even though he could have maybe guessed what was going on, but they didn’t kill anyone and they saved the day, and many more people might have died if Wade – if they – hadn’t gotten the information so quickly. Point was, Wade took the dark route sometimes so Peter wouldn’t have to, so Peter didn’t have to become dark and lose himself because Wade was already in there, and he struggled every day to hold onto the good parts of himself. Peter was his anchor. Peter kept him afloat, told him he was worth it, that he was loved, that he was still good.
Peter believed he was still good. He’d fight forever for Wade.
“Well, look on the bright side,” said Tony with forced optimism. “Our horny lawyer friend has one less street gang to deal with.”
“Tony,” Steve admonished. Tony shrugged.
“I have to find him,” Peter said, jumping to his feet. He fumbled his mask with shaking fingers, but stopped when Natasha touched his shoulder.
“We’ll come with you,” she said.
“No, I think it’s better if I go alone.”
She shook her head. “We won’t interfere. We’ll just be there for you in case something happens.” In the very likely event that you are too emotionally compromised and either don’t defend yourself or fight without holding back, he thought she meant. She had a point.
He sighed. “Okay. So where do we find him?”
The footage was barely a half hour old when Peter had seen it. Clint was out in the city, keeping tabs on Deadpool’s movements until they could bring Spiderman in on his wayward husband.
Tony flew with Steve, followed by Peter, who hung onto the Ironman suit with a well-placed web. Natasha clung to his back, and Peter could tell she was secretly delighted to be flying through the city despite the grim circumstances. That made him smile. It was good to make someone happy even when he felt like he’d rather get swallowed up by the Midtown pit. Whatever that thing was.
The odd-looking team flew through the city toward the docks where Clint was currently concealed among some shipping crates with eyes on Deadpool.
“ETA 45 seconds,” Natasha said, over the comms. “What’s he doing now?”
“Looks like he’s fishing,” Clint said, sounding a little puzzled. “But it’s Wade, so who knows.”
“What’s there even to fish?” Tony asked.
“Bass, catfish, perch, porgy, eel, sunfish,” Steve rattled off.
“How do you even know that, Cap?”
“Bucky had a job on a fishing boat once. I used to sketch the fish.”
“Of course,” Tony said. Peter could hear the eye-roll and smiled despite his nerves.
They landed behind Clint. Natasha rolled to her feet and strolled over to join Clint on the crates. Tony opened the faceplate on his suit and gave Peter an encouraging smile.
“You got this, kid. Go see what’s up with your hubby.”
“On it,” Peter said.
Steve smiled and placed his shield on his back. “We’ll be right here if you need us.”
Peter leapt over the crates and jogged toward the pier. Deadpool was already facing him, having seen and the heard the ungainly landing of the four Avengers. That particular little method of traveling was reserved for impromptu out-of-the-news events. It looked too silly. They needed to maintain their street cred, after all.
“Hey, Spidey!” he greeted, with a cheerful wave, still sitting with his feet dangling over the water. “I wasn’t expecting a homecoming like this. You brought a whole welcoming committee!”
“Uh.” Peter said. That was not the greeting he expected. “Hi, Wade.”
Peter thought he saw Wade frown briefly, but he continued. “I’m really glad you’re back! I missed you. I was so worried when you stopped answering my texts. I mean, I know it was a stealth mission, but you always have your phone on you. I was kind of hoping you’d come to see me first, but uh, heh. So, anyway, I wanted to talk to you about –”
“Whoa, I’m gonna have to stop you right there, sweetums. Ha, I’m a little confused here.” He tapped his head. “You missed me?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Huh. Well, my phone got run over by a tank I think, so sorry I couldn’t text ya back. That Hello Kitty protective case did not do its job as advertised.” He tsked.
That Hello Kitty … Peter stilled. Wade hadn’t had the Hello Kitty case for at least a couple of years. He’d been using a Deadpool logo one for well over a year now. Something’s wrong, Peter thought. Something is very wrong. I’m missing something.
“Anywho. I know it’s always been our dream come true to have Spidey miss us and be worried about us, but this is weirding me out a little bit. When I left you were mostly pushing me off small buildings and yelling at me about responsibility. What gives?”
Peter had been watching him closely, and felt dread creeping into his stomach at Wade’s words. Instead of answering him, his eyes widened behind his mask when he spotted something – or rather a lack of something. “What happened to your – hand?”
Wade’s left hand was exposed. The suit cut off just before the wrist, like his hand had been chopped off.
Wade looked down at his hand as though he hadn’t noticed it was bare and quickly hid it behind his back. “Sorry you had to see that.”
Peter felt his heart begin to crack.
Wade shifted awkwardly on the pier. “I didn’t notice. I guess it got cut off at some point? It looks new…er. But I haven’t done like a side by side comparison.” At Peter’s dismayed look, he added, “But don’t worry, Spidey. I grow back! You know that.”
Peter automatically twisted the gold band around his own finger beneath his glove.
“Yeah,” he whispered, weakly.
“Ooookay. This is awkward. I’m gonna like go and get some tacos and shit. Bustin’ up gangs gives me the munchies.” He sprang to his feet easily, every inch a highly trained fighter, and adjusted his guns in their holsters. Peter knew every little nuance of those guns. Every dip in the metal. The worn part of the grip…
Wade was walking away.
“Wait!”
Wade paused mid-stride. “Yeah?”
Peter took a deep breath and walked up to him. “Wade?”
“Yes?”
“We’re… I mean. Don’t you remember…?”
“What? What, Spidey? C’mon, I’m getting hungry, man.”
Peter took a deep breath. He knew Wade had some memory problems, but he’d never forgotten him before. Not like this. Not so completely. “I’m your husband! We’re married. We’ve been married for over two years.”
Wade was quiet.
“We live in an apartment in Manhattan. You make me pancakes all the time and I leave my shoes in the middle of the room and you always trip over them and yell at me. We got married in Clint’s barn and I got hay fever and kept sneezing through the ceremony. Tony cried. Thor was there.”
Wade was looking angry now, but Peter hardly noticed for the tears in his eyes.
He kept going, voice growing louder as he tried to talk over the sound of his heart breaking. “We have Thanksgiving with Aunt May. Last Christmas you bought me a new camera and it was the nicest goddamn camera I’d ever seen and I yelled at you a lot for spending so much on me. You really like it when I do that thing with my tongue when we’re in the shower with the rubber duck. I buy you those fizzy bath bombs from the place down the street ‘cause you say they help your skin, but really I know you just like the colors that come out in the water.” Peter took a deep breath, needing air, but needing Wade to remember even more – to believe him.
In the blink of an eye, Wade was in his space with a gun pressed against his chest.
“You done, Spidey,” Wade hissed, “or are you going to continue spitting every dream I know I can never have in my face?”
A second later, Natasha was behind Wade, gun drawn. Clint had stood up and Steve had his shield in his hands. Tony’s faceplate clicked down, repulsors whining in warning.
Wade looked at them all and laughed harshly. “Looks like it’s Deadpool Humiliation Day. I was wondering why you really brought the A-team along. What’s this? Trying to make me be good? Did you honestly think you could trick me into believing we’re in love? I know that would never happen. A while ago, I would have said you deserve so much better than me, but after what you just said, I don’t think you’re even worth it anymore.
I didn’t think you’d do something like this to me, Spidey. I know we have our differences, but I was trying to be a better person. For you. And this is what I get. Exactly what I deserve – I know. I’m a bad person. If you came here to yell at me about that little scuffle in the bar, don’t bother. You won’t be seeing me around anymore.”
Peter was sobbing at this point. He reached out for Wade, only to have his husband jerk back reflexively. The Avengers had lowered their weapons some time during Wade’s speech, but they remained on guard.
“Wade, please. I’m not lying. What did they do to you? I can help you. Please let me help you! I love you!”
Wade put his gun up again, but his hand was shaking. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
Peter reached for him again, but Wade shied away. At a loss to prove he was telling the truth, Peter slowly lifted his hands to the edge of his mask. There were some people around on the docks and he was at ground level, but this was more important than his secret identity. This was Wade. His husband. His everything.
“What are you doing?” Now Wade sounded almost panicked. “Spidey! Spidey, stop. What the fuck!”
Peter pulled the mask off all the way and looked at Wade with red eyes, tear tracks staining his cheeks. Wade turned his head away. He kept the gun up, but his finger wasn’t on the trigger anymore. He gripped it as though he were holding onto the only constant in his life as everything he knew was tossed up around him.
“It's Peter. Please look at me, darling. Please…”
Wade shook his head. He spoke very quietly, voice shaking. “I don’t understand. Put your mask back on, Spidey. You don’t know what you’re doing.”
“Wade.”
Something about the way he spoke his name made Wade finally turn back. He moved slowly, as though torn between the desire to look and his respect for the masked hero’s secret identity. Like Spidey would become too real if he saw him.
When Wade finally faced him and opened his eyes, Peter had one of his gloves off. A shiny band of gold circled his fourth finger. It looked like a wedding band.
“What is that?” Wade asked, barely above a whisper.
Peter pressed his lips together to stave off a fresh wave of tears and pulled it off his finger. He held it out on his palm to Wade.
“See for yourself.”
Wade hesitated, but plucked it off Peter’s hand. He turned it around slowly, seeing a warped reflection of his masked face in the polished metal.
“On the inside there’s an inscription,” Peter said. “Read it.”
Wade tilted the ring.
Peter’s chest felt tight. He was holding his breath, afraid to let it out, afraid to let his breath go and his heart along with it if Wade still couldn’t believe him.
Wade closed his eyes.
“It says ‘Petey and Wade’,” he said.
“Yes,” Peter said in a rush. “I think you lost yours.”
“You’re not lying?” Wade’s voice was smaller than Peter had ever heard it before.
He shook his head. “Not lying. Never to you.”
Something clicked behind Wade’s eyes as the sight of the ring finally sunk in, a tendril of memory, fleeting laughter, kisses, champagne. He fell to his knees in front of Peter and sobbed. Peter caught him and pulled him into his arms, squeezing hard. The Avengers melted away to leave them in private, but neither noticed.
“I love you, Wade. I love you so much. I’ll help you remember. We’ll do it all over again, but without the hay fever maybe? We can make new memories.”
Wade shook in his arms. “I don’t remember, I don’t remember,” he gasped, curling his hand helplessly around the ring.
Peter hugged him closer and cried. He reached around to the back of Wade’s head, feeling for the seam of his mask. Wade trembled, but didn’t move to stop him.
When the mask was off, Peter ran his fingers over Wade’s cheeks, wiping away the tears. He pressed his lips to Wade’s and it was an awful kiss, full of tears and so uncoordinated. They were both shaking so hard.
When Peter pulled back, Wade opened his eyes and looked up at him, utterly lost.
“How could you love someone like me?” he asked brokenly.
Peter gave him a watery smile. “I just do. And I’m never going to stop.”