Chapter Text
Jimin didn't know how to define the feeling of depression. Whether it was something he had held inside of him or took on himself; he dreaded the feeling. Maybe he let things get to him to much, because every comment he read about his thought of hate just became more negative. Yet; the death threats never got to him. They were funny to read. He wished fans wouldn't reply to such things. The feeling wasn't painful. It was just constant. The constant need to do something to himself. Unbareable; it would linger in his eyes with a heavy feeling in his chest.
Self-harm wasn't something he would like to try. It only made him feel weaker. Plus, it wouldn't be a good thing if news broke out and he made the members cautious about his decisions. Not that he needed that in his way...he didn't really know though. He was already making the members concerned so it wouldn't matter if he did try to do something stupid.
He personally wanted to end everything.
So he did something he never thought he could do. He looked up the least painful way to end ones life. He wanted to die in peace and not by pain. He understood the choice was selfish and stupid but he didn't know what to call stupid anymore. He had took the path he had wanted to. He had a family. He was so glad for Bangtan. So glad. He grabbed the pills he had ordered. It was apparently enterity of sleep. He couldn't be more happy. He grabbed a black ink pen and a piece of paper from his notebook.
Ah, I'm sorry I resolved to this. I'm very sorry. Don't hate me. That's that last thing I want ...Taehyung-sii I'm so grateful for you. We're still soulmates right? Don't ever leave my side okay? Kookie-ah , I have unbareable love for you. Please continue to live. For me. Joon-Hyung, thank you for forming us. Thank you for putting up with me and inspiring me to do more. I really love you Hyung. Hope-Hyung I won't forget you're sunshine smiles as long as I live. Continue to spread them. Yoongi-Hyung, you're such a good Hyung. I really admire you. I wish I could hug you one last time. Jin-Hyung I'm sorry for this. Thank you for taking care of me and making me laugh. Eomma, I love you. I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I love you everyone. Army, Thank you for letting my dreams come true.
He smiled before pouring three or four pills in his left palm. He hesitated before wiping his tears and quickly swallowing the oval shaped objects. He didn't know if he regretted this or not. It reached his system surprisingly quickly. After a few minutes of waiting his legs got weak and he lied down on the bathroom floor. He decided to text them at least once more. He pulled out his phone. It wasn't at all painful. He was starting to feel tired. He guessed he had another ten minutes until he passed out; or at least that what people said. Not really that he cared.
Jimin:
Jin-Hyung; are you home?
Jin Hyung:
No, but I'm on my way. Why?
Jimin:
Okay. Nothing. I just wanted to say that I'm thankful for you.
Jin Hyung:
What's with this all of a sudden?
Jimin:
Nothing much. I'm sorry.
Jin Hyung:
Did you do something?
Jimin:
Yes. I'm very sorry.
Jin Hyung:
What did you do?
^^ Nothing. Don't worry. Everything's okay.
Jin Hyung :
-_- You're scaring me Park Jimin.
Jimin:
<3 Goodbye. Hyung.
Jin Hyung:
Okay? I'm almost home see you there.
Jimin:
Sure ^^
-
Jimin moved to the next contact struggling to stay awake. His legs were numb. Nothing hurt. This was perfect.
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Jimin:
Maknae? You there?
Jungkookie:
Yeah, you need something Hyung?
Jimin:
Nah. I'm okay. What are you doing?
Jungkooke:
Nothing much, I'm just practicing.
Jimin:
Kookie, you're so beautiful you know that?
Jungkookie:
Ha Ha, thanks Hyung^^
Jimin:
Im very tired.
Jungkookie:
You should rest then?
Jungkook has never regretted something more than those words in his life.
Jimin:
I'll be. Very soon. Just thought I'd say goodbye:-)
Jungkookie:
Alright..? That sounds weird Hyung.
Jimin:
Oh, I mean, goodnight for a bit.
Jungkookie:
That sounds better ㅋㅋㅋ
Jimine:
Bye.
Jungkook:
Okay, bye I'm going back because I have a bad feeling in my chest.
Jimin:
Dont push yourself to hard maknae.
Jungkook:
Its not like that but okay.
-
Jimin knew for a fact that Hoseok was home. He was on his phone so he would see the message.
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Jimin:
Hi Hobi-Hyung~
Seok-Hyung:
lol. Hi Jiminie.
Jimin:
Im so glad for you. Thank you!
Seok-Hyung:
Lolololol. Ur Welcome~~~ ;)
Jimin:
Are you doing something?
Seok-Hyung:
Nope. Just wasteing my free-time on sad k-drama's :-)
Jimin:
Lol. Sorry for waste if you're time ^^
Seok-Hyung:
Jimin. You will never waste my time don't ever say that again.
Jimin:
Okay. Sorry ;(((((
Seok-Hyung:
Turn that frown upside down mister! :))))
Jimin:
Lol. Okay bye Hyung~
Seok-Hyung:
Bye Jiminie!
-
Jimin sighed. He rubbed his face before going on.
-
Jimin:
Hyung, hello!
Yoon-Hyungie:
Oh hi Chim.
Jimin:
Wha'cha doing?
Yoon-Hyungie:
Praticing choreo.
Jimin:
Thats cool^^ I'm sorry.
Yoon-Hyungie:
For what?
Jimin:
For something; but it's not important. Bye.
Yoon-Hyungie:
Okay, bye.
-
Two more. That's all he needed. He couldn't give up now.
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Jimin:
Namjoon-hyungggggg. What are you doing.
Rap-Hyung:
Im actually at a set. And you?
Jimin:
Thats cool. I'm at home dying.
Literally.
Rap-Hyung:
Lol.
Jimin:
Im going to sleep. Bye.
Rap-Hyung:
Bye?
-
One more. One more. Just one more.
-
Jimin:
Taehyungie. My Taehyung. I'm sorry. I'm so happy. Thank you.
Taehyung <3:
Is something wrong Hyung?
Jimin:
No. Just happy for you.
Taehyung <3:
Lol. I'm happy for you to~!
Jimin:
Goodbye. Thank you.
Taehyung <3:
Er...-~- okay...
-
He turned off his phone and smiled. His eyes were already closed and he wa ready to fall asleep. The paper was sitting at his chest. His eyes fluttered one last time and was greeted with pitch blackness. He was so happy. It wasn't long per than three minutes before his body started to shut down. After his heart and stoped and brain; his senses began to fade as well.
-
Jungkook had opened the door to their dorm. He called for Jimin but got no reply. He was guessing he was asleep but couldn't get this feeling to stop. His head was aching. He decided he needed to shower. He groaned when he found out that he door was locked.
"Who's in here?" He asked.
"Me." Hoseok replied.
"Okay Hyung, tell me when you're done." He called. He ploped onto their couch still feeling unnerved.
What was this?
-
LIKE MY CLIFF HANGER???