Fryingpan_93
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“I screwed everything up,” Shane says, his voice choked.
“With Lily?”
There’s silence for a while, then Shane says, “Ilya.”
Hayden only knows one Ilya, but that’s impossible. But they are in Boston. “Rozanov??”
Or: Shane is bad at adjusting to unexpected changes and Hayden is a good friend. A fix-it fic for Episode 4.
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- English
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Bookmarked by Fryingpan_93
29 Dec 2025
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Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.”
Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”
“I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.”
“Rozanov–”
“Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”
OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic.
Series
- Part 3 of cjo + hr
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- English
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- 22,370
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Bookmarked by Fryingpan_93
29 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”
“Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”
Hayden stops, so Shane does too.
“You don’t know who that was?”
Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer.
“Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious.
Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”
“At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke.
“He’s a porn star, man.”
“A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?”
---
Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.
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Bookmarked by Fryingpan_93
28 Dec 2025
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Bookmarked by Fryingpan_93
28 Dec 2025
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Summary
He only realizes he’s doing it when it’s too late to stop.
He’s standing in the drink aisle of the grocery store, checking the expiration dates on the cans of Coke, mentally cross-checking them with Boston’s away game schedule, and the reality hits him like someone shook one of those cans and popped it open. A snap. A fizz. A mess.
Shane is making space for Ilya.
(or, lessons in budget-friendly shopping, home decor, and resisting the urge to neatly combine all your situationship’s shit into a drawer in your bedroom because you might be falling in love with him: a seven-ish step guide by shane hollander, who is so, so fucked)
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- English
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Bookmarked by Fryingpan_93
28 Dec 2025