Chapter Text
Usually, Vi would wake up to the sound of her beautiful wife snoring. (Even though Caitlyn would adamantly refuse that she snores.) Sometimes, Vi would wake up to the sound of her alarm, which is significantly less pleasant. Very rarely — though more often now that Jinx and Lux were married — Vi would wake up to the sounds of “Aaaah, deeper” and “Fuck me, Luxie”. Which is, uh, a reason to down a bottle of whisky at 5 a.m.
Now, though, Vi wakes up to the sound of loud knocking. Groaning, the woman traverses the stairs and flings the door open, only to reveal a giant muscle mountain of a man, completely covered in tattoos.
Instincts immediately launch themselves and Vi is already analysing whether she can use the man’s impressive weight against him in a fight.
“Does Jinx live here?” the man asks in a low, stereotypically gruff voice, and Vi is instantly on the defensive.
“Who’s asking?”
The man smiles and reaches out to take out— a CD? Huh. “I’m a huge fan! Her single changed my life! I was a mass murderer and now I want to turn over a new leaf! After I get her autograph I will turn myself in to the Sheriff!”
“That’s very convenient,” Caitlyn’s yawny sleepy voice reaches their ears as the woman descends from upstairs. “It’s not every day that a mass murderer turns themselves in. I don’t even have to go to the precinct.”
“ Ex- mass murderer!” the man protests.
“Of course,” Caitlyn nods. “But I’m afraid you’re mistaken: Jinx doesn’t produce music—”
“Oooooh I have a fan!”
In a blur, Jinx descends the stairs — or, rather, the railing, and appears behind Vi’s back. “Viiii let him in, he’s a fan!”
The ex-mass murderer gasps and starts squealing like a little schoolgirl. “Oh my gosh, that’s Jinx! Your single literally changed my life, Get Jinxed is the best thing since Dear Friend Across the River !”
“Aww thank youuu!” Jinx twirls on her heels.
“Pow, what’s the meaning of this?” Vi crosses her arms sternly. “Why is a scary-looking criminal showing up on our doorstep, talking about your new single?”
“Because I recorded it, duuuuh! With Lux and Ekko and Zeri!” Jinx rolls her eyes. “Now, I have personal income for candy and I have fans! Oh, and Cait gets to arrest criminals without leaving the house! It’s a win-win-win!”
Vi sighs, already used to her sister’s antics. “Well, if you put it that way…” She groans. “I’ll have to listen to it some time.”
“Please do!” the criminal urges as Caitlyn slaps cuffs on his wrists, ready to escort him to the precinct. “It’s the best song ever!”
Lux just stares from the top of the stairs, completely and utterly shocked. Then, she sighs. “What did I marry into?..”
“The best family ever?” Jinx grins, shooting finger guns at her wife.
Lux offers a tiny smile, then snorts. “Seems that way. Sure seems that way.”